Cartoons:

Raph:
"Does that phrase go suck a lemon hold any meaning for ya?" ~Enter: The Shredder
"Boy, am I a glutton for punishment or what?" ~Blast From The Past
"Ya know, I'd give Leonardo the shell off my back, but I will not wear lace & feathers, & that is final!" ~The Four Musketurtles
"Can we pretend we never met?" ~The Big Cufflink Caper
"Hey, what is this? Bowling for turtles?" ~The Big Cufflink Caper
"Improvise against those goons? Is there a script doctor in the house?" ~The Big Cufflink Caper
"Tenth floor: killer robots & Trilithium crystals" ~The Big Rip Off
"A kiddie's wading pool is too deep for him" ~The Sword Of Yurikawa
"And, in case you haven't noticed, our resident brain has a few loose keys on his accordian" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"We almost drowned like rats! Ooh, hee hee, sorry Master" ~20,000 Leaks Under The Sea
"Guys, I don't think I wanna be leader anymore!" ~Take Me To Your Leader
"Stupid question time: when does the bomb go off?" ~Take Me To Your Leader
"If we don't get up there soon, this'll be a two-part episode" ~Take Me To Your Leader
"Yuck! It's the attack of the clinging hand bills!" ~Case Of The Killer Pizzas
"Don't you hate it when buildings drop in unannounced?" ~Invasion Of The Turtleoids
"Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the sewers" ~Beneath These Streets
"Boy oh boy, some days it just isn't worth coming out of your shell" ~Beneath These Streets
"Anybody got a mothball?" ~Revenge Of The Fly
"Let me guess: a teenage mutant ninja wombat?" ~Atlantis Awakes
"...I'm gonna have nightmares about this pizza for the rest of my life" ~Atlantis Awakes
"I always say, one good jerk deserves another" ~Name That Toon
"Hey, what are we, mutant vegetables?" ~Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter
"Not another mutant turtle. I'm starting to feel... help me... un-unique" ~Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter
"Eight zillion mutants in this series & he has to get two of the good ones" ~Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter
"Excuse me. I have to go wring Vernon's neck!" ~Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter
"I hope your dentist knows about that big cavity... between your ears!" ~Invasion Of The Krangazoids
"Drink blazing photons, robot scum! ...I always wanted to say that" ~Invasion Of The Krangazoids
"...Yeah, I just saw it in the flashback" ~Combat Land
"I haven't seen this much sparkle since Donatello turtle waxed his head" ~Shredder's New Sword
"Are you gonna tell us, or are we gonna get Vanna to start turnin' letters?" ~Venice On A Half Shell
"Nice going, boy genius, you just turned our lunch into wall paper" ~Donatello Trashes Slash
"I think I liked that guy better when he was a blithering idiot" ~Donatello Trashes Slash
"We're about to go bungee jumping without a rope & you bring your dumbest invention of all time" ~Donatello Trashes Slash
"When it comes to Shredder never say never... ever" ~My Brother The Bad Guy
"This place has more twists than a pretzel factory" ~April Foolish
"Remember kids, we're professionals. Don't try this at home" ~April Foolish
"Face it, propellor head, your early warning system is a bust" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"I think I like him better when he was the meek, brainy one" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"Well, for one, the guy who invented it is currently swinging around the city in his underwear" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"He was so crazed, he made Casey Jones look like a wallflower" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"Okay, who left the bathtub water running?" ~20,000 Leaks Under The City
"Telephone call for a Mr. Jaws ... Don't call us, we'll call you" ~20,000 Leaks Under The Sea
"So, that's their plan, eh? They want to put Krang's face up there & scare the country into submission"
"Oh, I get it, you're going to put on that silly little suit & embarrass them away"
"You got a mind like a steel trap, lady" ~Turtle Tracks
"Didn't I see you in The Jungle Book?"
"I'd say this was hopeless, but that's too optimistic"
"Are you sure you didn't get your license in a box of Cracker Jacks?!" ~Raphael Drives 'Em Wild
"I see this is gonna be one of those days" ~The Big Zip Attack
"And the best part, being green, no one can tell if I'm sea sick" ~Raphael Meets His Match
"I thought I was the one with the clever remarks" ~Raphael Meets His Match
"I know, I know... we have to save the world" ~Raphael Meets His Match
"Ah, boy, I feel a flashback coming on... Ah, yep, see I told you so" ~Raphael Meets His Match
"Oh no... double oh no!" ~Raphael Meets His Match
"I bet I could be a great stand-up comic... if I wasn't so busy protecting the world from evil doers" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead
"Ah ha! It's the Ha Ha!" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead
"Those goons may have taken away my dignity, but they didn't take away my sai!" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead
"If it's all the same to you, I'd rather make alot of noise" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead
"Some people think turtles are poisonous. I bite my nails all the time & I'm fine" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead

Rocksteady:
"Hey, we're as smart as mud any day" ~The Sword Of Yurikawa
"Couldn't you hang me by my thumbs instead?" ~My Brother The Bad Guy
"Splatterize 'em!" ~20,000 Leaks Under The Sea

Leo & Raph:
"Look at all these statues" "Almost makes you wish you were a pigeon" ~The Irish Jig Is Up
"We've got to find the Technodrome & stop him" "Sure, no sweat. And what will we do with the rest of the afternoon?"
"I think they're starting to tire" "Oh, great. In a few more hours, they'll barely be able to throw a car at us!" ~Shredded & Splintered
"You really think we're that stupid?" "No, no, no, never leave yourself open like that, Leonardo" ~Four Turtles & A Baby

Don:
"Never mind that, we've got some Ninja-ing to do!" ~Case Of The Killer Pizzas
"Personally, I'd rather go on living, as a mock turtle" ~Case Of The Killer Pizzas
"St. George? I don't even have a Saint Bernard!" ~Artless
"Whatever happened to the old stupid as a sea slug Slash?" ~Donatello Trashes Slash
"Go on, scram, before I really get mad" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"Which of you bozos ordered salda with a grenade on the side?" ~20,000 Leaks Under The Sea
"We don't have knights in shining armor. How about turtles in slightly tarnished shells?" ~Raphael Meets His Match
"Are you kidding? I get my daily quota of bad jokes hanging around you" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead
"Cheap turtle suit? I resemble that remark!" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead
"We're not comedians, but we always have the last laugh" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead

Nerd & Raph:
"You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses..." "No, but then those aren't glasses, they're magnifying lenses" *punch* ~Combat Land

Don & Raph:
"Thanks, Raphael, I owe ya one"   "You owe me six, but who's countin'?" ~Case Of The Killer Pizzas
"A mutant slug..." "He looks the way I feel first thing in the morning" ~Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter
"Something with scales" "What? She got kidnapped by a weigh station?" ~Rebel Without A Fin
"Well, if we could somehow stop the river, that would shut down the power station" "Swell, we'll just round up 50 million beavers & ask them to please build us a dam"
"You can't rush genius" "Especially such a humble one"" ~Raphael Knocks 'Em Dead

Leo:
"That female video chip is starting to get under my shell" ~Leonardo Vs. Tempestra

Mikey:
"Dude, your foot is in my ear... or is that my foot?" ~Leonardo Vs. Tempestra
"Would you cork it?!" ~Combat Land
"It's pizza! ...Or, atleast it will be when it grows up" ~April Foolish
"When in doubt, pig out" ~Burne's Blues
"That dude is driving Shea Stadium around under the city!"
"Dumb, dumb, dumb... those dudes are so dumb!"
"Face it, bud, peanut butter & clams is an acquired taste"
"Awe, she's no fun, she fainted"

Krang:
"Now look at what you've done, you walkin' sardine can!" ~Rust Never Sleeps
"Chewing gum looks complicated to you, Hornhead" ~Venice On A Half Shell
"How long does a fella hafta wait to rule the world?" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"I shouldn't have joined forces with a ninja. Next time I conquer a planet, I'm using an Accountant"
"Don't annoy me, Shredder. I'm having a very bad day"
"I can't go out of my mind, it's all I've got"
"I'd have been better off hiring streets mimes. Atleast they know when to shut up"
"Oh, cry me a river"
"I'm an equal opportunity tyrant"
"By the way, in case you have any ideas about turning the creaure against me, remember that I, too, have a remote control. One more powerful than yours... mine works the TV, the VCR, & the stereo"
"Another failure, Shredder? You have an almost perfect record"
"Stand still so I can pound you!"

Big Macc & Raph:
"I detest violence" "I kinda feel the same way about underwear with hearts on it"

Don & Leo:
"I don't think he gave me the right change"   "I always said you didn't have enough sense" ~Enter: The Fly

Shredder:
"(to Krang) Sometimes I don't know who I detest more: the turtles or you" ~Beneath These Streets
"Don't call us, we'll call you"
"This is getting very monotonous" ~Return Of The Technodrome

Raph & Leo:
"Only a 6.5?" "You flinched when you landed" ~Ring Of Fire

Splinter:
"Man? Is that how you refer to me? What is next? Rat-face, dude guy?"

Leo & Mikey:
"I'd say he's completely bats" "You better not. Could be trademark infringement" ~Night Of The Dark Turtle
"We turtles don't know the meaning of defeat" "That's right. We never bothered to look it up in the dictionary"

Raph & Don:
"Thanks, guys, you saved my life" "The question is, was it worth it?" ~Tower Of Power

Movies:

TMNT 1~

Raph:
"I lost a sai!"
"A Jose Canseco bat? Tell me, you didn't pay money for this?"
"DAMN!"
"You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket"
"Why? Oh, I don't know. I wanted to redecorate: a coupla throw pillows, a tv news reporter... whadaya think?"
"You guys must be studying the abridged book of Ninja fighting"
"Hey... what's a guy gotta do to get some food around here?"

Mikey & Don:
"Fight?" "Fight" "Kitchen?" "Kitchen"

Casey Jones:
"The class is Pain 101. Your instructor's Casey Jones"
"That was a crime, you purse-grubbin' pukes"
"...Two minutes for hooking, two minutes for slashing, & lets not forget my personal favorite: two minutes for high sticking"
"Now, would you guys mind tellin' me what you're doin' with my little green pal over there?"
"I look like I just called Mike Tyson a sissy & all you can say is 'hi'?"

Mikey:
"...Ninja kicked the damn rabbit!"
"Yes, dudes & dudettes, major league butt-kicking is back in town!"
"Wise man say forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for a late pizza"
"Eleventh & Bleecker? *sniffs* Nope, this is only Ninth street"
"Hey, Donnie, Wheel Of Fortune, dude!"
"Wayne Gretzky... on steroids?"
"...I don't know, but I bet it never has to look for a can opener"
"Maybe all that hardware is for makin' cole slaw"
"Okay, now, at exactly... what point... did we lose... control here?"

Don & Casey:
"Here it goes, Gakface!" "I'm ready, Hosebrain!"

April:
"Would you mind repeating that... in English, perhaps?"
"What? Am I behind on my Sony payments again?"
"Did you take classes in insensitivity?"
"And then there's Casey Jones, a nine year old trapped in a man's body"

Don:
"Question: do you like penicillin on your pizza?"

Splinter:
"...And Raphael" *Raph is picking his teeth with a sai*
"I have always liked... 'Cowabunga'"

TMNT 2~

Leo, Raph, Don, & Mikey:
"You take the ugly one!"   "No, you take the ugly one!"   "I'll take the ugly one!"   "Which one's the ugly one?"

Raph & Mikey:
"Well, ya know what they say: the bigger they are..." *runs & bounces off*   "...the more bones they break"
"I'm Raphael"   "All the good ones end in 'o'!"

Mikey & Raph:
"Hey, guys, check this out! Wax on, wax off, wax on..."   "Mouth off!"

Don & Mikey:
"Ninja pizza?"   "Pizza that vanish quickly without a trace!"
"Look, it's Raph!"   "Yeah, a little *too* Raph!"

Mikey & Dom:
"I've got two words that'll solve all our problems: 'time share'!"   *tap, tap* "Not quite ripe yet"

April, Raph & Mikey (in unison):
"Let me get you guys some napkins"   "What for?"

Mikey:
"Does the word turtle-kabob mean anything to you?!"
"Didn't we see these guys on Wrestlemania?"
"It ain't the Hilton... let's face it, you'd be better off stayin' at the Hilton"
"Not to criticize science or anything, but wouldn't it easier to call it the pink one?"

Don:
"Ninja cowboy!"

Raph:
"Ol' Shred did a swan dive, with a half-gainer, right into the back of a garbage truck... ahhh!"
"Hey, Mikey! Think you could crunch any louder? I can still hear outta this one?"
*Keno stomps on his foot* "Ow! Please, can I hurt him? Please, please..." *growls*
"Ya know, if I had a face like yours, I'd try to make up for it with some sort of a personality"
*Donnie rips tape off his mouth* "Yow! Why don'tcha just rip my lips off...!"
"Amazing, guys, & I thought all of the really good dungeons were in Europe"

TMNT 3~

Mikey:
"Oooh, he who dings the shell must pay!"
"I'm not peeking, I'm spelunking for pork rinds"
"How'd you get in April's pants?"
"Kappa? Cappachino? Nah, makes me hyper"
"My neck hurts, my spots hurt, even my bandanna hurts"
"Gunfire? Better cover the melon"
"I'm really a princess in disguise! Break the spell... gimme a kiss!"
"Meow, dude!"
"Smells like a geek ran through here"
"Hey, destiny, whatta drag!"

April:
"Don't push me... Ruffles... or I'll turn you into a steaming pile of puke!"

Don:
"I think I swallowed a frog. Hope it wasn't an acestor"
"Mud wrestling is definitely a spectator sport"
"Help, I'm a turtle & I can't get up"
"Who frisbeed me in the face?"
"Turtles, it's not just a job, it's an adventure"
"Leo, high foot!"
"Bungee jumping without a bungee... *that* could be dangerous"

Splinter:
"Yo, dude... just like Elvis in Blue Hawaii"

Raph:
"Hey, hey, I don't kiss on the first date, lady"
"You gotta learn to control that temper guy... Did I say that?"
"Son of a snapper... LEO! I FOUND IT!!!"

Leo & Don (in unison):
"Schwing!"

April & Walker:
"Ya know what, he's lower than scum. He gives scum a bad name" "I know, that's why I hired him"

Leo:
"Hey, Tinkerbell, why don't *you* shoot us?"
"Okay, go ahead, punk, make my day"

Niles & Raph:
"What're you lookin' at you ugly lump of dung?" *growls profusely* "Ugly lump of dung!?"

Casey:
"Hey, Raph, how'd your brain transplant go? Good?"

Yearling Books

Raph:
"What do you use for brains, your stomach?" ~Six Guns & Shurikens
"And it appears clear that whatever you regularly drink causes the belly to swell up like a barrel of wine & gives you a face like the hind end of a donkey" ~Six Guns & Shurikens
"Well, I never thought I'd say it, but I pity the Shredder if you're the best henchmen he can find" ~Red Herrings
"It pays to be jumpy, with the kind of visitors you get down here. We don't exactly get the mailman calling to tell us we've won the New York lottery y'know?" ~Splinter To The Fore

Mike & Raph:
"What's the headline?" "It says Michelangelo not a Turtle, Shock Horror! Famous Crimebuster really a Mutant Pistachio, say Scientists!" ~Sky High

Bebop:
"I t'ink it says Ray Gun Lab, Thieves Keep Out" ~Red Herrings

Don & Raph:
"Don't let {the octopus} bite you, Raph! It's beak is poisonous!" "What do you think -- that I'm just playing with it? I'm trying not to let it bite me, for pete's sake!" ~Red Herrings

Don:
"I'm not sure Mike is a turtle. I sometimes think he's just a mutant waste disposal unit" ~Splinter To The Fore

Leo & Raph:
"It's at times like this that I'm glad I'm a turtle" "At times like this, I'd personally rather be a sixty-ton battleship" ~Red Herrings

Raph & Mike:
"...If you fall from this height, there won't be enough left of you to fill a pizza tray!" "You'd be teen, green, & smithereens" ~Splinter To The Fore

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