It broke my heart to see Raphael like that. Deep down, he really did understand that everything was better... but the guilt that had built up remained and it wouldn't crumble without a fight.
I took a side-long glance at him. He was still staring at the ground. It was hard to believe that just minutes ago he'd been so angry and now... he looked so lost.
I closed my eyes for a moment. I wondered if anyone had heard his outburst. Or if anyone did, if they'd come and check. Personally, I'd rather just remain like this: sitting here, just the two of us.
Suddenly, I felt his shoulders shudder and I looked fully at him. He sniffed and ran the back of a hand over his eyes.
Yes, this was the same Raphael. The same one who'd fought gators. The same one who'd stayed together so well for so long. He'd said at one point that he'd actually made himself forget about his family... although they had remained in the back of his mind.
But I knew he'd only suppressed those memories. Now, they flooded him and his emotions were going to hell and back. He was finally dealing with them, though. Once everything was in the open, he'd feel better.
Or, atleast I hoped he would.
Raphael sighed quite audibly, and I looked at him once again. He met my gaze. "Gotta stop goin' to pieces like that." He smirked, then sniffed.
I smiled. "Because eventually you might lost track of some of those pieces."
His smirk turned into a half smile, sniffing again. "I'll remember that."
It was another few hours, we remained in the barn, talking. It had started raining outside and there was the occasional clap of thunder. I wasn't all that interested in making a mad dash to get back inside the farmhouse. Well, there were two things that threatened to change my mind: hunger and the need to use the bathroom.
"Addy?" Raphael asked, giving me an odd look.
"Huh?" I was a little too engrossed in my thoughts.
"Ya wanna go back inside?" he asked.
"Well..." I said, not sure if I really wanted (or needed) to, yet. "I am getting a bit hungry."
There was another clap of thunder--that was fairly close--and a flash of lightning.
"On second thought..." I started, but left it dangling.
"It'll be over in a while," Raphael said. "Hang on a minute." He got up and rummaged through some junk on a table. He returned with a portable radio in hand.
I took it from him. "I'll find a station."
He gave me an exaggerated pout.
I smirked, while playing with the dial. I stopped when I heard a familiar country song.
Raphael groaned. "Gah..."
"I thought you were starting to like some of these songs," I said. He shrugged. I shook my head. "Just when I think I've got you figured out."
Showers was all my cares away
I wake up to a sunny day
Cuz I love a rainy night
Yes, I love a rainy night
Well, I love a rainy night
I love a rainy night
Well, I love a rainy night
I love a rainy night
I love to hear the thunder
Watch the lightning when it lights up the sky
You know it makes me feel good
Well, I love a rainy night
It's such a beautiful sight
I love to fell the rain on my face
Taste the rain on my lips
In the moonlight shadow
Puts a song in this heart of mine
Puts a smile on my face everytime
Cuz I love a rainy night
Yes, I love a rainy night
Ooh, I love a rainy night
Yeah, I love a rainy night...