The four of us stood around the inconspicuously marked grave of our Sensei... our father. I moved my gaze around the others, hoping they weren't waiting too impatiently for me to begin. I just wasn't sure where my emotions stood, and considering my entire life until I had left ten years ago, the others probably didn't think I had emotions... or atleast strong one. But Splinter's death had hit me hard, especially since I had never apologized to him for being a huge pain in the ass. A part of me has always said I never needed to apologize because he knew... I loved him and respected him, even though it didn't show most of the time. But I still feel guilty.

Why, though? Damned if I really know. Probably, truly because I'd never said "I'm sorry" to him. And after that night, just days before... I shouldn't have been out getting drunk off my ass, I should've been watching over him, protecting him like he did us. But no, I had to be selfish. I had to act like there was nothing wrong. I had to be me.

My gaze met Leo's. I wondered how long he'd been watching me. I'll say one thing for the guy: he's mellowed from the 'perfect son, I'm in charge' Leo that I knew ten years ago. I knew Sensei's death had really gotten to him... it really got to all of us: Leo because they were so close, Mike because of his strong emotions, Don because of the encouragement that some day he'd attempt an experiment that wouldn't blow up the lair, and me because... kinda like Mike, he understood me.

I blinked. While Leo's gaze remained fixed on me, his eyes gave off a saddened look. Then he nodded slightly. I've always wondered if Leo was truly a telepath...

I took a deep breath and stepped forward, slowly releasing it. I stopped out just far enough to make it so my back was turned to them, and I just stopped. I could feel my heart beginning to thud and my throat felt dry. Moments ago, I was pretty sure I could do this, now it feels like my legs are ready to give out on me.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I turned my head to the right and found Leo next to me.

"Take your time," he said, quietly, but in a slightly cracked voice. He wasn't keeping it together very well, either. I nodded my thanks, and he stepped back again.

I just needed to concentrate on my breathing for a few moments.

Chapter Twenty Eight: Donatello