"I don't know about tomorrow."
Addy turned to look at me. "You'll be fine."
I sighed. "I wanna believe that, but tomorrow it'll be ten years." I paused and let out a shaky breath. "I still haven't even gotten rid of the guilt."
She propped herself up on one elbow. "I find it amazing that you can overcome something so major an nearly losing an eye, then going through a surgery to have it fixed, and being injured numerous times before, yet you can't heal from this."
That felt like a a punch to my plastron; it was so true. "Addy, I'm not good with emotions. I'm better with actions and... apparently that's been bawlin like an idiot lately!"
Adalida gave me a wide-eyed look. I'd said that last part alot louder than I'd meant.
I dropped my head, removing my eyes from her gaze. "I'm sorry. Didn't meant to snap atcha... I'm jus'... not doing too well with this situation."
"Have you tried meditating?" she suggested. I looked up abruptly to give her a questioning look. "Well, it couldn't hurt, could it?"
"I don't have the strength for it," I admitted, and it was true, too. I was emotionally drained from having years of suppressed feelings come out nearly all at once. truthfully, I'm surprised I didn't have a nervous breakdown, or something to that effect. "I jus' need some rest."
Adalida didn't say anything more. She just watched me. Actually, I'm pretty sure she was watching my eyes, especially the, eh, 'enhanced' one. I wanted to close my eyes and get out from her scrutiny, but her gaze was warm, inviting. She wanted me to say more, but I really had nothing more to say... or atleast not at the moment. Seeing that I wasn't gonna talk anymore, she lowered herself off her elbow and stretched an arm across my plastron. feeling her warnth, I let out a sigh, and finally closed my eyes.
* * *
"Raphael."
That voice. It couldn't be, but I felt the presence. I turned, then looked down slightly at Splinter. Looking into his eyes, I realized I couldn't stand any longer and to my knees. I looked at the ground and squeezed my eyes shut. This couldn't be happening...
"My son," Splinter said, then placed a furry hand on my shoulder, "please look at me."
I let out a shaky breath and looked up. "Sensei..."
"Raphael, I am sorry for the guilt you feel and have felt these last ten years. I am sorry I was never able to speak with you after that night. I knew then and still know that you had not meant what you said. However, in a way, despite the guilt, you have managed to better yourself, my son. I am proud of you. I was always proud of you, Raphael. I forgive you, but do you forgive me?"
* * *