Displaced
Chapter Three

"Cousin, I want to go on the train!"

"Not now, Balki."

"I want to go on the train!"

"Later."

Larry and Balki rounded the corner to the landing. Balki leaned over onto Larry's shoulder and sobbed, "I want to go on the train!" Larry sighed and put the girls' bags down.

Laverne walked past them. "An' I thought Shirl was bad." She continued walking.

"Balki," Larry pushed his head off his shoulder, "I promise you can get on a train soon, but not now."

"Oh-kay," Balki agreed, abruptly ending the sobbing.

Lenny and Squiggy walked past. "Here's a penny, Squig."

Squiggy took the penny, glared at it, then turned to Lenny. "This all ya got?"

Lenny pulled a quarter out of his jacket pocket. "Ya got me, Squig."

"Great, now let's go see how flattened this'll get," Squiggy said, then led Lenny to the nearest set of tracks, about 50 feet away.

Shirley stopped next to Larry and Balki. "Those two have lost more money that way."

Larry motioned towards them. "Didn't you say it was because of them you ended up here? So they know--"

"Yes, they should be helping us look for the train, I know," Shirley interrupted, then shrugged. "But they have such a short attention span."

Laverne came back over to them. "All right, I got the schedule. The next train ta Milwaukee oughtta be comin' in about 20 minutes."

Balki moved next to Laverne. "I wish you would stay longer."

She smiled at him. "Too sweet." She paused. "C'mon, let's go flatten some coins before we gotta go." She grabbed his hand and dragged him to another set of tracks.

"Well," Shirley said.

"Hm." Larry watched as they put a couple pennies on the track.

Shirley motioned to the bags. "Thanks for carrying those."

"No problem," Larry said, waving it off. He paused. "You, uh... don't like to flatten your change?" He gave her an amused look.

"I try to save my money, but then Laverne always finds my savings in the Bible, then spends it," Shirley replied. "Sometimes I ask Carmine to hold onto it..." She frowned. "Then he ends up spending it on that Mrs. Lockwash." She made a fist. "Sometimes I could just--uh, heh." She lowered her fist. "Sorry, I'm really not as crazy as they are... but they make me crazy."

Larry folded his arms over his chest. "I know the feeling."

"Here it comes!" Balki called out, pointing at the incoming train. He latched onto Larry's arm and began pulling him. "Come on, Cousin, we can see our friends off."

"Balki--"

A few minutes later...

"Now, Squig, you're sure this is the right train?" Shirley asked.

"How many times do I gotta tell ya? ...What was the question?" Squiggy said.

Shirley sat bck, hand to her forehead. "I give up."

"Balki, I'm telling you, we should get off now," Larry said, picking him up from a seat across the aisle from the girls.

"Cousin, do'n worry so much. We'll be off in plenty of time," Balki said.

"Then why do I feel like I need an antacid?" Larry added, looking toward the ceiling.

Suddenly, the train lurched and began moving.

Larry spun and grabbed a handful of Balki's shirt. "The train is pulling out of the station and we're still on it!"

Balki smiled at him. "This is great!" He pried himself from Larry's grasp. "Let's find the car with all the windows." He started moving toward the car behind them.

Shirley pulled Larry down into Laverne's seat. "He doesn't know you need tickets, I take it."

"No, and... oh, my Lord! We'll probably be kicked off and end up in Peoria. I knew we shouldn't have even gotten on, but I just had to let Balki talk me into it." Larry paused, then added, "Well, atleast this isn't my mess."

Outside, there was a clap of thunder and it began pouring.

"That's odd... it was sunny just a minute ago," Shirley commented. "Wait a minute, that's what happened before!"

Larry groaned. "No offense, Shirley, but I am seriously hoping I'm dreaming. There is just no logical reason for this to be happening."

Laverne came back and stopped next to them, standing in the aisle. "Shirl, did you see--"

"The change in weather?" Laverne nodded. "I sure did," Shirley said.

"Well, I just left Balki in the observation car and it was sunny back there," Laverne said.

"This cannot be happening," Larry said.

A few hours later, the group walked out of the train station.

"Everything looks the way it did before we left," Shirley commented.

"Great, just great," Larry began, "now, how do Balki and I get home?"

"That's easy, Cousin, we just take the next train to Chicago," Balki answered.

"But we don't know if we'll get back to 1987! We might get to Chicago, but it might be the wrong year!" Larry argued, then sighed. "I sound like I'm starting to really believe this is happening."

Squiggy jerked his thumb at Larry. "Don't he just suck the fun outta things." Larry turned a glare at him.

Laverne smacked Squiggy upside the head, causing him to look around for what hit him. "Shirl an' me'll help ya when the next train comes... an' we'll make sure we stay here." She pointed a glare at Shirley.

"Don't give me that look," Shirley said.

"Ladies, could you maybe postpone this possible argument and point out the nearest hotel?" Larry asked.

Laverne waved it off. "Hotel nothin', you guys can stay with us... as long as my pop don't see ya."

"Or Carmine," Squiggy added, grinning.

Shirley attempted to lunge at him, but Laverne held her back, allowing Lenny and Squiggy to get away.

"Hang on, there, Shirl, remember, my pop's the one ta worry about. Carmine's understandin'," Laverne said.

"I bet your Papa would understand if you explained..." Balki began.

Laverne shook her head. "You don't know my pop."

The door to Laverne and Shirley's apartment opened and the girls came in, closely followed by Balki.

Larry stopped in the doorway, a slightly pained expression crossing his face. "You live in a basement," he stated.

"And a nice basement it is," Balki said.

Laverne walked back over to the landing. "Ya comin' in or what?" She grabbed Larry's arm and yanked him inside, closing the door after.

Larry straightened himself out after nearly ramming into the couch. "Thank you." He glanced around the apartment, his eyes widening. "You know, it is amazing how much the layout of your apartment resembles ours."

"You guys make yourselves at home. Me an' Shirl will getcha some blankets," Laverne said, then she and Shirley went into the bedroom.

"This is weird," Larry commented, sitting on the couch.

Balki sat on an arm of the couch. "So it kind of looks like our apartment." He paused. "Come on, Cousin, it's like a vacation except this time you didn't make a plan."

"I think that's what's bothering me," Larry said, as a knock sounded to the tune of 'shave and a haircut.'

"You guys mind answerin' that?" Laverne called out.

"Laverne, what if--" Shirley began.

The door opened without an answer, and Carmine came in. "Hey, girls--" He stopped when he saw Larry and Balki, looked like he was going to say something, stopped, and went towards the girls' bedroom, where he stopped in the doorway. "Angelface?"

Shirley came out, blanket in hand. She and Carmine came back into the living room. "I can explain, Carmine."

Laverne came out. "Don't bother, Shirl, I kinda doubt he'd believe it." She paused. "Carmine, we gotta let these guys stay. It's kinda our fault they're here."

"Unless you wouldn't mind..." Shirley said.

"Waitaminute!" Carmine interrupted. "I don't even know them. No introductions, nothin'!"

"So introduce yerself," Laverne suggested.

Carmine glanced at the girls, then looked at the guys. "Carmine Ragusa, Golden Gloves Champ of Milwaukee."

Balki got up and hugged Carmine. "Balki Bartokomous, Mypiot and sheepherder." He paused. "You have golden gloves?"

Larry stood up and moved Balki away from Carmine. "That's boxing, Balki. Golden Gloves is boxing." He paused, turning to Carmine. "Larry Appleton, no idea why I'm here." He smiled warily.

"Well," Carmine began, "my apartment ain't too big, but one of ya can stay with me. The other, I hate to suggest it, will probably have to stay with Lenny and Squiggy." He turned to Laverne. "Mr. DeFazio's in a really bad mood."

"When ain't he?" Laverne said, folding her arms over her chest.

"Balki will stay with Lenny and Squiggy," Larry offered.

"Alright, then. Come on, I'll show ya the rest of the building," Carmine said, moving to the door, with Balki following.

Larry stopped next to the girls for a moment. "He's really the Golden Gloves Champ." The girls nodded. His brow arched. "Oh, my Lord." He shook his head and left the apartment.