Spoken by Yours Truly:
"Touch my L, sweetie, & your teeth go to Peoria!"

~Lenny & The Squigtones~
Night After Night 1.72MB
(Copy & paste the link into Windows Media Player, or your player of choice)

~Cyndi Grecco~
Laverne & Shirley Theme Song {30K}

~Tornadoes 74~
Telstar 2.25MB
(Copy & paste the link into Windows Media Player, or your player of choice)

"There's alot worse things in life than being adopted" "Hello" {46K}

"Oh, quit your complaining, you could look alot worse" "Hello" {62K}

"It looks like a strange creature from another world" "Hello" {67K}

"All that man wants outta life is something that cries, burps, & wets its pants" "Hello" {66K}

"There is nothing more despicable to me than this place" "Hello" {41K}

"We get to spend eternity surrounded by the good & the pure" "Hello" {51K}

"Shirl, I've always thought of you as... as the female Squiggy" {118K}

"The desert sun had turned them into raving sex fiends" "Hello" {42K}

"Whoever boxes Carmine is gonna look like the biggest fool in the world!" "Hello" {60K}

"What kind of an idiot would start a rumor like that?!" "Hey, how ya doing, Laverne?" {55K}

"You know, Kosnowski's a pretty good name. My grandfather told me it means 'Help, there's a hog in my kitchen'" {324K}

"Number two is an ice cream vendor, who plays the guitar, he's a champion shadow boxer, & enjoys Bosco & Squiggy... Squiggy? Well, anyway, say hello to Leonard Kosnowski" {329K}

"Yes, my pigeon?" "Ooh... What's the most romantic word you can think of?" "Lint" {247K}

"Touch my L, sweetie, & your teeth go to Peoria!" {39K}

"Jails are for murderers & perverts" "Hello" {31K}

"What kind of vegetable would you be?" "I would be a sauerkraut... it was my only toy as a child" {497K}

"I am not sick & there is nothing in this place that will make me sick" "Hello" {55K}

"I'll help as long as I don't hafta touch anything slimey & disgusting" "Hello" {51K}

"If that ad keeps runnin', they'll be comin' through here like termites" "Hello" {44K}

"Five bucks? That's my hair tonic money for a month!" {91K}

"Whoever invented this musta had one weird & twisted mind" "Hello" {62K}

"If in Heaven, we don't meet, hand in hand, we'll bear the heat, & if it ever gets too hot, Pepsi-Cola hits the spot" {150K}