Main vocal: Squiggy; ~:Lenny

Went to a wedding at the city hall
And everybody came to stare
The cats & chicks was havin' a ball
And all of Squiggy's friends were there

The old Big Bopper & the Duke Of Earl
Both started twistin' with college girls
Boney Baroni & all the gang***
~The joint was jumpin' at Squiggy's Wedding Day
~Wedding day
~Wedding day

Peggy Sue was the blushin' bride
Wedding vail hangin' on her head
The best man stood there by her side
And his name was Mister Ed!
With Speedy Gonzalez & Barbara Ann
The Great Pretender & his wife Jan
Eddie my love & the little blue man
Short Fat Fannie & Peter Pan
President Eisenhower &...

~Wait a minute!... {Squiggy keeps going}
~Where am I in this song?!
You're all over this song!...
{Squiggy starts again}
~WAIT!
Well, he's doin' the best he can.
~Look, I wanna know why I'm not at your weddin'.
I can't believe it. You're teed off with me on accounta I didn't invite you to a song? how selfish can you be?
~Invited the Duke Of Earl.
The Duke Of Earl happens to be a very important record.
~President Eisenhower didn't have a record.
Yeah, I know that, but we was runnin' outta names & I figured I'd invite him. He won't show.
~I just figured that maybe, you know, I was your best friend I could probably be the best man.
What're you crazy? We got Mister Ed for that.
~It's a talking horse!
Yeah, but that's what makes this a novelty number.
~Why can't I be in it?
You wanna know the truth?
~Yeah.
Then I'll tell ya why you can't be in it... cuz you're not famous. I mean look at the people that are comin' to this wedding: Speedy Gonzalez, Great Pretender, Short Fat Fannie - practically a legend, but Lenny Kosnowski... ::razzberry:: nothin'.
~Well, okay, maybe I'm not a household word, but nobody's ever heard of you either.
What're you crazy, read the title of the song: "Squiggy's Wedding Day". I'm the star of the whole song! I mean, if it wasn't for me, these records would have no place to hang out.
~Well, could I sing a little bit more in it? Let me just sing the harmony part here.
I hate harmony, all it is is singin' the melody wrong.
~Please?

~~Alley Oop threw a rock in the punch
~~The Purple People Eater brought a picnic lunch
~~And ol' Rockin' Robin gave the bride away
~Got ate by a cat at Squiggy's wedding day
~Wedding day
~Wedding day
~Wedding day
~Wedding day
~Wedding day
I do!

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