The Date

     Shirley sat on the couch, reading a magazine. The door to the apartment flew open and she looked up briefly, rolled her eyes and went back to her magazine. "Forget something, Laverne?"
     Laverne stood in the doorway, leaning against the door. "No."
     "I thought you were going out tonight, you know, with your 'mystery boyfriend'. Vernie," Shirley paused and looked at her friend, "why won't you tell me who it is? Do I atleast know him?"
     Laverne gave her a nervous smile. "Yeah, you know 'im... uh, can I borrow your car keys?"
     "What for? You've got your own," Shirley said, turning back to her magazine.
     "Well, that's kinda a long story that I'll tell ya later, I just need your keys," Laverne answered, quickly.
     "Hey, Vernie, what's takin' so long?"
     Shirley looked up from her magazine,surprised. "Laverne, tell me I'm hearing things and that that was *not* Lenny's voice I just heard calling for you." She glared at her friend.
     "You're hearin' things, Shirl," Laverne obliged, but not very convincingly.
     Shirley squealed what was quite possibly the worst sounding squeal she'd ever made.
     Laverne put her hands over her ears. "Shirl! It's been a whole month! Shirl! Stop makin' that noise! Shirl!"
     Shirley stopped and glared at her. "What? Why? How?"
     "First, if you need ta know where your voice is, it's in my ear, ow," Laverne replied. "Why not, Shirl? When ya get past the initial "he's friends with Squiggy", he really is sweet."
     "It wouldn't be because he's proposed to you twice?" Shirley asked.
     "He was sincere, Shirl," Laverne argued.
     "Considering the situations, Vernie!" Shirley retaliated.
     "I got a date to go on, here, Shirl, are ya gonna give me your keys or make me explain this to ya in full detail in writing?" Laverne countered.
     "Fine," Shirley said, giving in. She grabbed her purse off the coffee table and dug through it. She pulled out her keys and tossed them to Laverne. "Just so you know, Vernie, I will not accept any blind dates you try to fix me up with while you're dating Lenny."
     "Why not?" Laverne asked, turning to go out the door.
     "I'm afraid it'll be Squiggy," Shilrey answered.
     "You're funny, Shirl," Laverne said. "Gotta go, I'll be back later."
     "By ten, Vernie," Shirley said.
     "Awwwe!" Laverne said, as she closed the door.

     Laverne came out the front door of the building and onto the stoop.
     "What took ya?" Lenny asked.
     "Shirl found out an' flipped," Laverne answered.
     "So *that's* what that noise was? I thought someone was usin' one-a those dog whistles, you know, the kind only dogs can hear," Lenny said.
     "No, Len, that *was* Shirl," Laverne said. "She also said to be back by ten."
     "But it's nine now," Lenny pointed out.
     Laverne thought for a moment, then grabbed Lenny's hand. "I've got an idea." She dragged him down to the car and they sat in it.
     "So what's your idea?" Lenny asked.
     "Well, Shirl wants me back by ten. I think I'll keep her happy about the time, but she'll also want to know what we did. I wanna make her flip when I tell her what we did," Laverne explained.
     Lenny looked confused. "What're we gonna do? We don't have enough time for a movie or..."
     Laverne interrupted him with a kiss, full on the lips... and they stayed that way for a good ten minutes.
     "I like that idea," Lenny said, looking slightly dazed.
     "I knew ya would," Laverne said, smiled, and kissed him again.

     Laverne entered their apartment at exactly ten.
     Shirley was in the kitchen, behind the divider. "Vernie? You're on time? There's something wrong, isn't there?"
     "There's nothin' wrong, Shirl, why do ya automatically assume somethin's wrong when I'm on time?" Laverne said.
     "You're never on time, and I never heard the car start. Were you just sitting out there?" Shirley said.
     "Yeah, we were," Laverne said.
     "Oh," Shirley said. She crossed the room and stopped in front of Laverne. "I'll most likely regret asking this, but what were you doing sitting out there?"
     Laverne put on an accused look. " But I cleaned up the backseat, Shirl!"
     Shirley smiled. "That's good." Then she realized what Laverne meant, and squealed.
     Laverne laughed. "Shirl, I'm only kiddin'! We just made out in the front seat, that's all."
     Shirley sighed. "I'll never understand you, Laverne."
     "Why bother, Shirl? I don't understand you," Laverne said, hugged her friend, and headed for the bedroom. "'Night, Shirl."
     "'Night, Vernie," Shirley replied, half dazed.

The End