The Writing Contest

ONE
Lauren & Kristin's apartment, early afternoon

Kristin is sitting on the couch, stuffing cotton in her ears. Lauren is in the bedroom, blasting some music. Kristin gets up, goes over to the closed bedroom door, and starts pounding on it.

Kristin (still pounding on the door)- Lauren! Turn the volume down! I can't hear myself think! (no answer; she turns away and leaves the apartment)

About 30 seconds later, the door opens and Lauren looks out.

Lauren- I thought I heard somethin' out here... (she comes out into the living room, carrying a clipboard) Ah, silence... that music was way too loud... I gotta get the volume control fixed on that radio. (she sits on the couch and starts writing)

The door flies open. {It's not Squiggy!}

Lenny (coming in the door)- Whatcha doin'?

Lauren (hiding the clipboard)- Nothin'.

Lenny gives her an odd look.

Lauren- Well, okay. (she pulls the clipboard out from uder the cushion) I entered a story-writing contest.

Lenny- Really? (he sits on the other end of the couch)

Lauren- Yeah, except I haven't come up with anything even half way good yet.

Lenny- What can ya write about?

Lauren- Anything, really. I just can't come up with anything.

Lenny- Why don'tcha write about us?

Lauren (giving him an odd look)- It's'posed to be a decent story, Len.

Lenny- I didn't mean that. I meant use all of us as characters. Maybe you could even write about som'en that's happened.

Lauren (with a thoughtful look)- That's a great idea!... Why didn't I think of that?

Lenny- I dunno... I'm wondering how I came up with it.


TWO
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, late afternoon

Everyone is crammed into the living room.

Lauren- Okay! I called this little get-together because I need to ask som'en.

Laverne- You ain't lookin' for money, are ya?

Lauren- This has absolutely nothing to do with money.

Carmine- Can we roll this along? I gotta dance class to teach in half an hour.

Lauren- If everyone would shut up, I'll get to the point.

Everyone starts talking at once. Lauren whispers something to Lenny.

Lenny whistles and everyone stops talking.

Lauren- Thank you. Now, that I've got your attention, I just wanted to ask if it's okay with everyone to use you guys as characters in a story I'm writing.

Shirley- You're writing a story? How wonderful!

Kristin- But why are you asking?

Lauren- Because I'm writing it for a contest and I just wanna make sure it's okay with everybody.

Squiggy- What if I say no?

Lauren (glaring at him)- I'll have Carmine kick your butt!

Carmine grins at him.

Squiggy- Oh... I'm in!

Lauren- So, it's okay with everyone?

Everyone starts talking at once again.

Lauren (exasperated)- I give up.


THREE
on the stoop, night

Lauren has changed her surroundings about three times. She finally decided to go outside. She's been scribbling away for about five minutes and suddenly stops.

Lauren (thinking)- I can't write for myself... Oh, this is not good at all! (she gets up, tucks the clipboard up next to the building, and starts down the street)

A few minutes later, Lauren comes back and sees Lenny reading what she's written.

Lauren- I don't remember sayin' you could read that yet.

Lenny- You weren't here... Why'd you stop at your first line?

Lauren (takes the clipboard and sits on the stoop)- I can't write for myself... I dunno why I even entered that stupid contest.

Lenny- Awe, c'mon. So ya ran into a little speed bump...

Lauren (interrupting)- Writer's block.

Lenny- It's still road construction!... So what? (he pauses) You could have someone else write your character.

Lauren (looking at him)- Lemme guess that you meant yourself, right?

Lenny- Was it that obvious?

Lauren (sarcastically)- Very subtle. (normally) I dunno. (she looks down at the clipboard) No, I don't wanna write anymore. (she pulls off the written sheets, and crumples them; she gets up and hands Lenny the clipboard) Here. Go see if the girls have a use for this. (she goes inside)


FOUR
Lauren & Kristin's apartment, two weeks later, late morning

Kristin comes in with the mail.

Lauren (coming from the kitchen)- Anything but bills in there?

Kristin (looking through the envelopes)- Nothing yet... Wait a minute. (she looks at one of the envelopes) I thought you said you didn't send a story in?

Lauren- I didn't. (she takes the envelope and tears it open; she reads the letter to herself) There must be some kinda mistake. I never wrote anything... but his says I won the contest!

Kristin- What?! (Lauren shows her the letter) It says they don't usually accept them handwritten, but since the story was so good, it won anyway. It also says you should invest in a typewriter... You don't have crummy handwriting.

Lauren- I know I don't... but I know who does... (she goes out the door and across the hall; she starts pounding on the boys' dor) Fellas, open up!

The door opens.

Lenny- Yeah?... (Lauren shoves the letter in his face) Hey!...

Lauren- What did you do?!

Lenny (looking at the letter)- You won!

Lauren- Not me. Did you write som'en?

Lenny- Uh... no?

Lauren- What did you write? And why'd you do that?

Lenny- Well, it was sorta about that first time you visited here... {Remember "The Step-Sister"?}

Lauren- Sorta?

Lenny- Okay, I did it because I wanted you to win! You seemed so happy about entering.

Lauren- Yeah... but, Len, I can't accept winning because I didn't write the story.

Lenny- What's the prize?

Lauren (looks at the letter)- Um... eight tickets to the carnival.

Lenny- You can't accept that?!

Lauren- Hmm... well, maybe I can.


FIVE
a week later, at the carnival, evening

Lauren finally accepted winning the contest and gave tickets to everyone - herself, Lenny, Kristin, Squiggy, Laverne, Fonzie, Shirley, and Carmine. {Whew! That was tiring!} They've all split off into couples and everyone's at different areas in the carnival.

Laverne and Fonzie haven't been anywhere except the tunnel of love. Shirley and Carmine went to the dunk tank - Carmine didn't like the guy that was there so he dunked him ten times, that was the limit, then Shirley dunked him five times. Kristin and Squiggy went into the funhoue. Lauren and Lenny mostly walked around until it got dark, then they went to the field to watch the fireworks. They're still there.

Lauren (on the ground, laying on her back, watching the fireworks)- I could watch this all night. (she looks at Lenny) It ain't the fireworks, is it? {Think "The Festival", the end of part one}

Lenny- Naw. (he pauses) It's just, well, everybody else is off doin' som'en and we're not doin' much of anything.

Lauren- Bored?

Lenny (reclining)- Yup.

Lauren (sits up, then looking around)- Well, there's no one else around... (she reclines) Besides, I didn't actually thank you for sending that story in...

{Not THAT kind of thank you. Get your minds outta the gutter!}


SIX
midnight

The whole group is beginning to gather out in the parking lot - almost everyone. Laverne and Fonzie already left for Inspiration Point. Lauren and Lenny just haven't shown up yet.

Shirely (arms crossed and tapping her foot)- They're late.

Kristin- Maybe they went into the funhouse... You can get lost in there, ya know!

Squiggy- Yeah, we know from esperience!

Carmine- That's a shock.

A few minutes pass. Finally, Lauren and Lenny come rom the gate.

Shirley (giving them an odd look)- What's with the grass stains?

Kristin- Think about it, Shirl.

Shirley (realizing)- Nevermind. Don't answer that.

Lauren- Okay, (she looks down at her clothes) I hope these come out.

Squiggy- Just don't ask Shirl for help, she'll turn everythin' pink!

Shirley- That was not my fault!... Can we leave now? I'd like to get home before morning.

Kristin- Me and Squig are gonna walk. (she winks at him)

Squiggy- Okay!

They leave... but not in the direction of Knapp Street. {Try Inspiration Point! Boy, it's gonna crowded!}

Shirley- Anyone else opting to walk? (she glares at Lauren and Lenny)

Lauren- Yeah. No offense, Shirl, but the way ya drive scares me half to death.

Shirley (sarcastically)- Ha ha, very funny. (normally) C'mon, Carmine... unless you're gonna walk, too.

Carmine- Now, why would I walk instead of bein' with you, AngelFace?

Lauren makes the 'gag me' motion and Lenny giggles.

Shirley (getting in the car)- Goodbye, you two.

Carmine gets in and they leave.

Lauren and Lenny start walking.

Lauren- Boy, how do ya like that? Laverne and Fonzie have prob'ly been at Inspiration Point for a half an hour already, Kristin and Squiggy were obviously goin' in that direction. Shirley and Carmine are goin' home... Looks like it'll be another cold shower for Carmine...

Lenny- So, where're we goin'?

Lauren- I dunno... I'm still not too familiar with alot of the roads... (yawns) but I wouldn't mind goin' home.

Lenny- Okay, follow me! (he grabs her hand and starts running)

Lauren (trying to free her hand)- This must be the fast tour!

Lenny- Yup!


SEVEN
about fifteen minutes later, outside 730 Knapp Street

Lauren and Lenny come around the corner - one thing, Lenny's carrying Lauren, who's now asleep. {She gets tired easily... we're delving farther into the actual me than I really want to!}

On the fourth floor, Lenny knocks on the girls' door, in case Kristin's already there {sorry, not knocked, kicked... he's sorta got his hands full!}. There's no answer. He digs out the key {don't ask}, opens the door, carries her in, and sorta plops her on the couch.

Lenny (to himself)- She gets tired out from running... which makes me tired from havin' to carry her... again. (he goes into the kitchen and gets a glass of water; he puts the glass on the counter and starts looking round the apartment; he... ahem... goes into the bedroom)

Lauren wakes up and notices she's on the couch.

Lauren (thinking)- Awe, Len musta carried me up here... (she gets up off the couch and goes into the bedroom)


EIGHT
fourth floor, morning

Kristin and Squiggy are coming up the stairs.

Kristin- Whatta beautiful sunrise!

Squiggy- Why didn'tcha wake me up to see it?

Kristin- Sorry about that. It's just that you're so cute when you're asleep... of course, you're cute when you're awake, too!

They kiss and each goes into their own apartment.

Kristin goes straight to the kitchen and gets breakfast. She sits down at the table and starts eating. After a minute or two, she hears the bedroom door open.

Lauren (coming into the kitchen)- So, how did the rest of your date go?

Kristin- We watched the sunrise... Well, I did, Squig fell asleep.

Unknown to Kristin, Lenny has snuck half way across the room already, going for the door.

Kristin (through a mouthful of cereal)- How was the rest of your date? We didn't see ya at Inspiration point.

Lauren- We just came back here. Nothin' too exciting...

With Lauren's last word, Lenny tripped up the steps (he was watching them to make sure Kristin didn't see him). He sits there on the floor frozen for a moment, then covers his ears when Kristin screams.

Lauren (shaking her head; to herself)- You big dope. (loudly; to Kristin) Shush, will you!!!

Kristin (pointing at Lenny)- "Nothin' too exciting", huh?!

Lauren- You are just like Laverne... ya go right for the smut!!!

Kristin- Yeah? Well, you're like Shirley... except, unlike Carmine, (points) he don't hafta take cold showers!

Lenny (getting up)- Yes, I do...

Lauren- Kristin, there are two beds and the floor in there and all three were used!!! Besides, he locked himself outta his apartment... he lost his key.

Kristin- Really?

Lauren- Go check.

Kristin- Naw, it's okay. I believe ya. (turns to Lenny) Sorry, Len, I just sorta jumped to a bad conclusion.

Lenny- I've had worse happen. (he opens the door) Bye.

Lauren- Bye, Len. (he leaves) You really believe me?

Kristin- Yeah, I shouldn't've done that. It was just the initial shock.

Lauren (shaking her head)- Boy, all this because of one little piece of fan fiction! { ;)~ }


THE END :)~