ONE Laverne and Shirley's apartment, morning

The girls come out of their bedroom, arguing.

"Shirl, enough about that party... please! I don't wanna go, okay?" Laverne said.

"Vernie, is the reason why you don't wanna go because you don't have a date?" Shirley asked.

Laverne glared at her, then shrugged. "Yeah."

"But your pop is throwing the party at the Pizza Bowl. it won't be the same without you... and..." Shirley said, then took a deep breath, "if you don't go, I won't go."

"Shirl, that's no fair to Carmine!" Laverne said.

"Actually, I had to talk him into it, but I think he's still gonna be disappointed... Listen, let's make a deal: if you get a date, we'll all go to the party, if you, don't we stay home. Okay?" Shirley said.

"Okay," Laverne said.

"Good, now I'll go out and get the mail. Be right back," Shirley said, then left.

A few minutes later, Shirley came back in with the mail and Laverne is now sitting at the kitchen table.

Shirley flipped through the handfull of envelopes. "Bill... bill... occupant... bill... Happy Valentine's Day... bill... Wait a minute!" She walked over to the kitchen table and showed Laverne the envelope.

Laverne took the envelope and looked at it. "It doesn't say who it's for."

"...Or who it's from," Shirley said. "Maybe we should both open it."

"That sounds fair," Laverne agreed. She put the envelope on the table and opened the flap.

Shirley pulled out the card. The card was red on the front and white on the back. The girls opened it together. Inside, it read: "Will you be my Valentine?". In the lower right-hand corner, there was more writing: "Write 'Yes' or 'No' on a card and put it in your mailbox."

"That's really weird," Laverne said.

"Oh! I'll bet it's from Carmine! It's kinda strange, though. He always signs with a smiley face," Shirley said.

Laverne thought for a moment. "The only way we'll find out who this is from..."

"...Is to leave a card with 'Yes' on it in our mailbox," Shirley finished.

"Right... but which one of us should write it?" Laverne asked.

"Oh, I didn't think of that... How about this: you write the 'Y' - you make beautiful Y's..." Shirley started.

"Awwe..." Laverne said.

"...and I'll write the 'es'. Okay?" Shirley said, getting up. "I'll get a card."

"Okay," Laverne said.

TWO
lunchtime at the brewery

The girls are eating lunch.

"I wonder if our mystery guy found our card," Laverne said.

"Well, tomorrow's Valentine's Day... we'll find out who he is eventually," Shirley said. "I hope it's Carmine!"

"I just hope he's cute," Laverne said.

"Hello!" Squiggy said, barging in. He went over and sat with the girls. "How're my two favorite girls today?"

Shirley leaned close to Laverne. "He wants something," she whispered.

"Squig, we'll make a little deal with ya - we'll letcha continue sitting here, if you tell us where Lenny is. Deal?" Laverne said.

"Well... okay. Besides, I needed to ask you girls som'en. Can I stay wit' ya on your couch?" Squiggy asked.

Shirley gave him a skeptical look. "Why?"

Squiggy looked at his wrist as though he was wearing a watch. "Oh, lookit the time... I'll be over about six tonight," he said and then left.

"That was really weird," Shirley said.

"Atleast our deal didn't get broken!" Laverne commented, going back to eating.

THREE
girls' apartment, evening

Squiggy already showed up. The girls have spent an hour trying to figure out why he's there. He broke up the questioning by going in the bathroom.

"Shirl, I'm goin' up there and see what's goin' on. See if you can keep the little twerp occupied, okay?" Laverne asked.

"Okay," Shirley answered.

Laverne left and went up the stairs.

FOUR
the boys' apartment

Laverne stood outside the boys' apartment. She pressed her ear against the door and she heard some noises from inside. She knocked on the door. "Len?"

There were a few more noises before the door opened.

Laverne walked in, but left the door open.

In the middle of the room, was a table with a long white box on it.

Laverne went over and looked at the card. It said: "I knew you'd say yes... but why did you and Shirl share the yes?" She opened the box and found a single red rose. "Awwe..."

Lenny came out from behind the open door and stopped just behind Laverne. "I'm sorry, I couldn't find an L to put on the box."

Laverne jumped and spun around. "You scared me... you sent the card?"

Lenny smiled.

"That's really sweet..." Laverne started.

Lenny's smile faded. "...But?..."

"But we've been through this before..." Laverne said. She stopped. Suddenly, she remembered all the times that he'd been so nice to her...

{Optional Flashback: "Look Before You Leap", "A Visit To The Cemetery", and "Lenny's Crush"}

FIVE
the girls' apartment

Squiggy is sitting on the couch watching TV.

Shirley is pacing behind the couch. "I wonder what's taking Laverne so long?"

Squiggy turned to Shirley. "I think I know," he said, digging in his pocket. "Does this knock on your door?" he asked, showing her the card with 'Yes' on it.

Shirley grabbed the card, then mouthed 'Lenny'. She ran out of the apartment and up the stairs.

SIX
the boys' apartment

Just outside, Shirley jumped the last few steps, stopped at the open door, and said calmly, "It wasn't Carmine." She stood at the door until Laverne and Lenny, who had been making out, finally realized she was standing there. She added, "I knew this would happen. Laverne, you've finally gone crazy... but it's kinda sweet." She smiled.

"Shirl?" Laverne said.

"Yeah?" Shirley replied.

"We're goin' to that party tomorrow night at the Pizza Bowl," Laverne said.

Shirley jumped for joy. "I'll go tell Carmine!" She ran down the stairs.

"You're gonna go because of me?" Lenny asked.

"Yeah," Laverne answered.

"You're great," Lenny said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I know," Laverne replied.

SEVEN
later that night

The girls have gotten ready for bed and Shirley is writing in her diary.

"I'm glad you changed your mind about the party," Shirley said, closing her diary.

"Well, that was the deal - I'd go if I got a date," Laverne said. She paused, then added, "What did you write about in your diary?"

Shirley glared at Laverne. "You know that what I write is none of your business!"

"Yeah, but if it's about me, I have the right to know... You didn't write that I'm crazy, did you?" Laverne said.

Shirley stayed silent and tucked her diary under her pillow. She laid down and rolled over, leaving Laverne to look at the back of her head.

"Fine, don't tell me..." Laverne said. She reached down to the floor on the far side of her bed from Shirley and picked up a diary. "I'll just hafta write a little somethin' of my own," she whispered to herself. She opened to a fresh page and paused, not quite knowing what to write. Finally, it came to her: "Hey, diary, Shirl thinks I'm crazy, but what do you think..." she paused, then nearly forced herself to write the last part, "...Laverne..." she paused again and sucked in a deep breath, then finished, "...Kosnowski?" She closed the diary and stared at it. She opened it again and found the page where she'd just been writing and added, "PS: Maybe I could just keep DeFazio... I don't much like the sound of 'Help, there's a hog in my kitchen'!" She closed the diary, put it under her pillow, and turned off the light.

EIGHT
morning

The girls are eating breakfast.

There's a familiar knock at the door.

"Come in, Carmine," Shirley said, loudly.

The door opened and Carmine came in. He didn't look too happy.

Shirley got up and went over to him. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, I know you're gonna hate me for this and I shoulda told ya last night, but I can't take you to the party tonight. I'm sorry," Carmine said, handing Shirley a card.

Shirley opened the envelope and read the card. "...It's too bad you can't come."

"Well, when we weren't going, I sorta promised Fonz that I'd be part of his pit crew. He doesn't race too often and I thought that it'd be okay," Carmine explained. "I gotta get goin'. Bye." He gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.

Shirley walked back into the kitchen and sat down. She started squealing, then hollered, "NOW I DON'T HAVE A DATE!!!" She quieted down, "Where am I gonna find a date this close to the party?..."

"Hello!" Squiggy said, barging in, with Lenny right behind him.

Laverne flashed Shirley a look.

Shirley received it. "No," she whispered to Laverne, then added, "I'm not desperate."

"You don't have a date..." Laverne said.

The boys came up to the kitchen/living room divider.

"We heard that Carmine was gonna be in Fonzie's pit crew tonight," Squiggy said, then added, "I guess you're left wit'out a date, huh, Shirl?"

"Well..." Shirley staggered.

"Hey, we could double," Lenny said.

"Whadya think, Shirl?" Laverne asked.

Shirley had a pained look on her face. "Oh, alright... but I ain't gonna be his Valentine!"

NINE
the Pizza Bowl, evening

It's an hour before the party and the girls have been decorating and are now sitting and talking with Edna.

"I cannot believe the line of people out there waiting for us to open for the party!" Edna said. "You girls got dates for tonight?"

"Well..." Shirley started.

"You wouldn't believe us if we told ya..." Laverne said.

"Hello!" Squiggy said.

The boys had come from the bowling alley. They sat down with the girls and Edna. They were still wearing their usual jackets and jeans.

"Atleast it's a come-as-you-are party," Edna said, got up, and went behind the counter towards the backroom.

"How'd you guys get in there? The place hasn't been open yet today," Laverne asked.

"Your pop let us in," Lenny said.

"Laverne!"

"I knew it! Here he comes... you guys told him you're our dates? He's gonna throw you two halfway across Milwaukee!"

"You think so?" Shirley asked, smiling.

Frank came in the room. "Laverne, com'ere."

Laverne got up and went over to him.

Frank spoke for a minute or two then Laverne came back and sat down. She had a bewildered look on her face.

"Are we gettin' tossed?" Squiggy asked.

"Yeah, should we get parachutes?" Lenny added.

"Would you believe... he's happy I'm goin' with Lenny?!" Laverne said.

TEN
the girls' apartment, late night, after the party

The girls come in the door.

"I am NEVER goin' anywhere with Squiggy ever again!" Shirley exclaimed.

"Okay, Shirl! I got the point! You've been sayin' that all night!" Laverne said, annoyed.

"Not all night... I stopped when you went outside for fifteen minutes," Shirley said.

Laverne sat on the couch. "I could still hear ya... it was ringing in my ears!"

Shirley sat next to her and put her arm around Laverne's shoulders. "Never mind that... What were you doin' out there?"

"Well, Len wanted to talk to me," Laverne said.

"What did you talk about?" Shirley asked.

"He asked why my pop didn't throw them out," Laverne said.

"So, what'd you tell him?" Shirley asked.

"Well, my pop said he didn't wanna get his hands messy before the party and he said he knew I could handle Lenny... I guess that's why he paid Squiggy to never ask me out... so that's why he likes you!" Laverne said, smiling.

Shirley got a grim look on her face. Then smiled, "Your pop has been wanting you to get married..."

"Don't push it, Shirl," Laverne said.

THE END :)~