A Day In The Life Of Lenny & Squiggy

One
Lenny and Squiggy's apartment, morning

The boys are still sleeping - Squiggy is on the bottom bunk and Lenny is on the top bunk. Their alarm clock is sitting on a nightstand half way across the room. The alarm clock goes off.

Squiggy shot straight up. "Huh... wha... who...?!"

Lenny looked down at him. "Squig, it's the clock! The huns ain't attackin'!"

Squiggy let out a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, the alarm is still sounding. Lenny jumped off his bunk, went over, picked up the clock, carried it to the dumb-waiter, and dropped it in.

"Now, it's the girls' problem!" Lenny said, giggling.

They each picked up a pile of clothes and headed towards the bathroom, but they got stuck in the doorway.

"Odds," Squiggy said.

"Evens," Lenny said.

They shot fingers and Squiggy won. He walked proudly into the bathroom. Lenny dropped his stuff on Squiggy's bunk and headed for the fridge. He opened the door and practically stuck his whole head in, looking for something. He took out a bowl with cereal and a spoon already in it.

"I love left-overs," Lenny said to himself as he sat down at the table and started eating.

There's a knock at the door.

"Fellas!"

Lenny got up and opened the door. Laverne stood there holding the alarm clock.

"Cute... really cute... " Laverne said.

"Awe, thank you," Lenny teased.

"Here, take your stupid clock... and if ya drop it down the dumb-waiter again, I'm gonna cram it up your nose!" Laverne said, turned, and went down the stairs.

Lenny looked at the clock. "That ain't gonna fit up my nose!"

Squiggy came out of the bathroom. He looked at the clock. "What'd it do, come back up by isself?"

Lenny put the clock on the table. "No, Laverne brought it up... then threatened to cram it up my nose if we throw it down the mine-shaft again, but that ain't gonna fit."

"It'll fit if she crams it down your throat!" Squiggy said, then laughed.

Lenny glared at him as he headed towards the bathroomand slammed the door behind him.

Squiggy picked up the clock, set off the alarm, and threw it down the dumb-waiter. "Why don't we just find out... " he said to himself.

A few minutes passed and there was another knock at the door.

"Boys!"

Squiggy opened the door. Shirley was standing there, holding the clock.

"I believe this is yours... oh, and, by the way, Laverne was gonna come up here to do something to you with the clock, but I talked her out of it..." Shirley said.

Squiggy had a disappointed look on his face as he looked at the clock. "Now, I'll never find out if this would fit down Lenny's throat!"

Shirley laughed. "That's not where Laverne said she was gonna put it!" She turned and went down the stairs.

Squiggy closed the door, sat at the table, and started eating from the bowl that Lenny got from the fridge.

Lenny came out of the bathroom and looked at Squiggy.

"Are you eatin' my breakfast?" Lenny asked.

Squiggy looked at the bowl. "It don't have your name on it!"

Lenny went over to him, picked up the bowl, and turned it over, dumping out the rest of the cereal. He pointed to the bottom of the bowl. "Right there!"

Squiggy looked at it, then sat back in his chair.

"How'd you do that?"

 
Two
Shotz Brewery breakroom, mid-morning

The boys have just gotten back from a delivery and are sitting at the girls' usual table. They're playing "Go Fish!".

"Got 'ny two's?" Lenny asked.

"Go fish!" Squiggy said.

A pretty girl walked by and the boys freak. Lenny bit his palm and Squiggy puckered up. The boys calm down and shake hands.

Laverne and Shirley came into the breakroom and came up behind the boys - Laverne behind Lenny and Shirley behind Squiggy.

"What do you think you're doin'?" Shirley asked.

"Yeah, this is our table!" Laverne reminded them.

"So, we was here first!" Squiggy said.

"Yeah!" Lenny agreed.

Laverne glared at Lenny. "I wish I had that alarm clock..."

"Uh, Squig, why don't we let the girls have their table, huh?" Lenny asked.

"Oh, all right. Give in to a threat... a clock up the nose couldn't be that bad... " Squiggy said.

The boys got up and the girls sat. The boys went to the door.

"One-a these days we're gonna stand up to those girls!" Squiggy said and left.

Lenny looked down and said, going out the door, "I thought we were standin'?"

Three
the Pizza Bowl, late morning

The boys come in arguing about something. Lenny is carrying his "LONE WOLF" jacket.

"Don't you remember nothin', Squig! Laverne sewed that "L" on!" Lenny said.

"Yeah, because she's got the hots for ya!" Squiggy teased.

Lenny got frustrated. He put the jacket on and sat at the new game that Mr. DeFazio put in. It was a strength tester.

Squiggy came up behind him. "I bet you can't even get cat on that thing!"

Lenny thought about it. "Okay, I accept if you gimme the nickel for it."

Squiggy dug around in his pockets and finally, after nearly emptying his pockets, he found a nickel.

"Here." He gave it to Lenny.

Lenny put the nickel in and grabbed the joystick.

The meter fluctuated between mouse, which came before cat and 10-year-old boy, which came after cat. It finally stopped a little after 10-year-old boy. "Ha! I won!"

"You won nothin'! I didn't betcha nothin'!" Squiggy said, laughing.

Lenny got up and pushed Squiggy into the chair. "Let's see how you do! An' if ya get higher than me, I'll buy the pizza, if ya don't, you buy. Deal?"

"Oh, all right," Squiggy said, unethused. He dug around for another nickel. He found one, put it in, and grabbed the joystick. The meter fluctuated between fish, which was just before mouse, and cat. Squiggy tightened his grip, but the meter leveled out to cat.

"HA!" Lenny said, pointing at Squiggy. "I knew it!"

Squiggy got up. "That thing don't measure right!"

"Excuses, excuses," Lenny said.

The two sat down at a nearby table.

"C'mon, Squig, you're payin'!" Lenny reminded him.

Squiggy grumbled something, got up, and went to order the pizza.

A minute later, Fonzie came in with a date and a double date, his sister Jo, who didn't look too happy and her date. The four sit at the table next to the boys' table.

Lenny starts drumming his fingers on the table, while waiting for Squiggy to get the pizza and bring it back.

At the next table, Jo makes a comment to Fonzie.

"Turn on the jukebox... I can't stand that tapping!" Jo whispered.

Neither of them noticed that it was Lenny at the next table who was doing the tapping.

Fonzie got up and went over to the jukebox. He pounded his fist on it and it started playing "Shake, Rattle and Roll". Fonzie went back over to his table and sat.

Squiggy came with the pizza and he and Lenny started eating.

"Uh, Squig, you forgot the napkins," Lenny said. "Never mind, I'll get 'em." He got up and went behind Fonzie and Jo's table without seeing then. He grabbed about ten napkins, turned around, and saw Jo with another guy and Fonzie and his date. He came up behind Jo and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned quickly.

"Lenny!?" Jo said, surprised.

"Yeah," Lenny said. He couldn't think of anything else to say - his brain hurt too much.

"Jo's datin' a doctor - Dr. Ned Sterns," Fonzie said, happily.

The doctor smiled and Jo frowned. She looked down at the table.

"Oh," Lenny said. "Well, see ya." He went back to his table and sat.

Squiggy looked at him. "What's wit' you?"

"Nothin'."

"Nothin'?"

"Yeah, nothin'," Lenny said, got up and left.

Squiggy stayed and finished the pizza.

Four
the boys' apartment, early afternoon

Lenny came in and sat on Squiggy's bunk.

The phone rang.

Lenny picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Hi, remember me?!"

Lenny thought for about two seconds. "Lauren!"

"You remembered!"

"Yeah..." Lenny paused. "What's up?"

"Actually, not much..." Lauren sighed.

"Same here."

Suddenly, the door flew open and Squiggy came in.

"Hello!" Squiggy said. "Who ya talkin' to?"

"Sounds like Squiggy just came in the room," Lauren said. "Maybe I'll call back later..."

"No, I wanna talk..." Lenny said.

"Who ya talkin' to?" Squiggy repeated.

Lenny put his hand over the mouthpiece. "Lauren. Remember, your step-sister?"

"Oh, yeah, how is the little runt?" Squiggy asked.

Lenny took his hand off the mouthpiece. "Did ya hear that?"

"Yes... tell Squiggy that he's a jerk. I'll call ya back later. Bye," Lauren said and hung up.

Lenny hung up the phone. "Jerk," he said, relaying it for Lauren.

Squiggy made a face. "Was that from Lauren... or you?"

"Both of us!"