ELEVEN

Squiggy came out of the bathroom into the darkened room. "Did someone forget to pay the electric bill?" he asked. Suddenly, he felt a pillow graze his arm.

Lenny turned on the lights and Laverne pounded Squiggy with her pillow.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! This isn't fair, i ain't got no pillow!" Squiggy said, trying to grab Laverne's pillow.

Laverne pulled her pillow away and Squiggy picked up one of the other pillows and began to back her up.

"I wouldn't do that, Squig," Laverne told him.

Lenny snuck up behind him. Just as he was about to hit him with his pillow, Squiggy turned around and hit him in the head with his pillow, knocking him onto the first bed. "I ain't gonna stand for that..." Lenny began, getting up.

"Of course you ain't, you're lyin' on the bed," Squiggy said. He turned to Laverne and she slugged him with her pillow. He shook it off. "PILLOW FIGHT!" he yelled and began swinging his pillow in the air to keep Laverne and Lenny away from him. A huge pillow fight ensues and lasts until 3AM.

TWELVE
morning

Laverne woke up and rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?" she whispered and turned to find Lenny sprawled on the other bed and Squiggy laying on the floor. She began laughing.

Lenny opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "I don't ever wanna see another pillow as long as I live!" He sat up and saw Squiggy on the floor. "Hey, Squig, you alive?" he asked, kicking him.

"PILLOWS, PILLOWS EVERYWHERE!" Squiggy yelled.

Laverne laughed again.

"Huh...what's so funny?" Squiggy asked, scratching his head.

Lenny giggled, "Maybe you're afraid of pillows."

Squiggy looked at him. "You want me to tell Laverne what you're afraid of?"

Lenny backed off and went into the bathroom.

Laverne looked at Squiggy. "What's he afraid of?"

"I HEARD THAT!" Lenny yelled from the bathroom.

Squiggy didn't answer, but grinned.

THIRTEEN

Laverne, Lenny, and Squiggy walk into the hotel's restaurant

"I didn't know a hotel's restaurant could be this beautiful!" Laverne said. "You guys sure you got enough money, 'cause I ain't gonna wash dishes!"

"Of course we've got enough, besides, in a place like this they don't make ya wash dishes..." Squiggy began.

"Yeah, they prob'ly make ya clean the rooms," Lenny said, giggling.

"We're gonna get thrown outta here," Laverne mumbled to herself.

"There's a table!" Squiggy said, grabbing Laverne's hand. He pulled her all the way to the table.

The maitre d' caught Lenny. "What do you think you are doing?"

"We're gonna take that table," Lenny told him, going over to the table.

The maitre d' followed and sighed. "Order... quickly!"

"Don't rush me," Squiggy said, looking at the menu. "Am I holdin' this upsidedown, I can't read nothin' on here." He began turning the menu.

Laverne caught the maitre d' and pointed to an item on the list. "Three of these."

The maitre d' wrote it down. "Thank you, miss." He turned and walked away.

"What'd ya order?" Lenny asked.

"I have no idea," Laverne said, shrugging her shoulders. "Squiggy, you're gonna get us thrown outta here..."

"Oh, I am, huh. Well, I think I'll just go back to the room and let you two figure out how to pay for breakfast," Squiggy said. He got up and left.

"Great. Now what?" Laverne asked.

Lenny dug around in his pockets, "I'll pay." He put the wad of money on the table and smiled.

Laverne laughed.

FOURTEEN

Laverne and Lenny are outside the door to the room.

Laverne knocked on the door. "Squiggy! oopen the door!" No answer. "Where is he?"

Lenny pounded on the door. "Squig! Open up!" No answer. "He's not in there... You got the key?"

Laverne dug in her pockets. "Here it is." She opened the door and they went into the room. "So help me if he left, too, I'm gonna kill him!" She sat on the end of the first bed and leaned back to stare at the ceiling. "What is that?" she asked, pointing at the ceiling above her.

"Pudding... Squig musta had breakfast," Lenny said.

Laverne looked at him. "Pudding for breakfast? How'd it get on the ceiling?"

"Yeah, chocolate pudding. He lies back on the bed, puts pudding in a straw, shoots it out, and catches it in his mouth," Lenny explained.

Laverne made a face. "Yuck!" She sat up quickly. "I hope I didn't get 'ny on my back."

"Don't worry, he never misses, but sometimes he over shoots a little," Lenny said. He paused, "He's prob'ly either in the game room down stairs or in the laundry room watchin' someone's clothes in a spin cycle."

"I wish I'd never asked. That's too much information for nine o'clock in the morning," Laverne paused, "now what?"

FIFTEEN

There's a knock at the door.

Lenny opened the door. "Hi, Squig."

"Hello," Squiggy said, coming in the room. "Where is she?" he asked, looking around the room.

"Laverne?..." Lenny started.

"No, the Queen of Denmark! Yes, Laverne! I got a brain to pick with her," Squiggy said, fuming.

"She went shopping."

"Where?"

"I dunno... why would I ask her..."

Squiggy walked over to the window, stared out for about half a minute, and turned around suddenly. "Our train goes back to Milwaukee today at 10AM or tomorrow at 6PM."

"So?"

"I'm leavin' today," Squiggy said. He began gathering his things. "Laverne's no fun."

SIXTEEN
11AM

Lenny is sitting on the floor in front of the first bed, asleep, with the TV on.

Laverne came into the room. "How can anyone sleep like that?" She put her bag on the first bed, went over to the TV, and turned it off.

"Who turned the TV off!?" Lenny whined.

Laverne kicked him in the leg. "Wake up, it's only me." She looked around the room. "Where's Squiggy's stuff?"

Lenny yawned and crossed his arms. "He left on the ten o'clock train."

Laverne thought for a moment. "Now Squiggy's gone... when's the next train?"

"Tomorrow."

Laverne became furious. She grabbed Lenny's jacket and pulled him up. "When tomorrow?"

"6PM."

SEVENTEEN
Milwaukee

Shirley is home, unpacking her things.

"Hm... should I do the wash today or wait until Laverne gets home, then do the clothes with the most crud?" Shirley asked herself.

The door swung open.

"Hello!" Squiggy said, loudly.

"Aren't you supposed to still be in Green Bay?" Shirley asked.

"I came home early," Squiggy said, closing the door. "I figured, why should ya be alone when ya could be alone with me." He came up to her.

Shirley picked up the iron. "Don't make me use this!... Laverne's still in Green Bay?"

"Yup, so's Lenny."

Shirley put the iron down. A frozen look came over her face.

EIGHTEEN
Pizza Bowl, later that afternoon

Mr. DeFazio is talking to Laverne on the phone and Squiggy charges in.

"Mr. DeFazio..."

"Hold on, I'm talkin' to Laverne."

"But that's who I wanna talk to ya about..."

"Laverne, I'll talk to you when you get home. Bye." Mr. DeFazio hung up the phone. "What d'you want?"

"Now you wanna listen to me. Laverne's in Green Bay without Shirley..."

"WHAT?!"

Squiggy held back a laugh. "And she's there with someone..."

Mr. DeFazio began ranting in Italian (or atleast undecipherable English!). "I'm bringing her home... You know where she's staying?"

NINETEEN
outside, in front of the hotel

Laverne is sitting on her suitcase and Lenny is inspecting the flowers.

"I can't believe they threw us out!" Laverne said. "So what if we broke a lamp and got pudding on the ceiling... and what're you doin'?"

"Did ya ever just stop and think?" Lenny asked.

"Yeah, many times."

"Well, I just did for the first time and it hurt," Lenny said, sitting on the curb next to Laverne.

"Maybe I should call Shirley," Laverne paused, "nah, she's prob'ly out with Carmine."

"I wonder if she knows Squig left." Lenny commented.

"Wait a minute... when I was talkin' to my pop, I thought I heard Squiggy in the background tryin' to get his attention. You don't think that he..." Laverne said, unevenly.

"Your pop's gonna kill me," he gulped, "then he's gonna kill Squig," Lenny said, calmly this time. "And if he doesn't," he smiled, "I'm gonna kill Squig!"

"No, Len, let me do that, I'm impartial," Laverne told him.

Lenny looked at her. "I don't care what religion you are, I wanna do it!"

"All right, all right, we'll share, fifty, fifty..."

"Uh, Laverne?" Lenny said. He pointed down the street. "I think that's the grim reefer comin' now to knock on our bell... it's your pop!"

"I'll handle him, maybe I could calm him down and expalin the whole thing. I just hope that he doesn't make ya run along side the car," Laverne said, standing up.

Mr. DeFazio pulled up and Laverne immediately began explaining, while loading the bags in the car. She climbed in the passenger seat and Lenny hopped in the back. Mr. deFazio peeled off.

TWENTY
evening, at the girls' apartment

Shirley and Carmine are sitting on the couch. Carmine is flipping through a newspaper.

"Shirl, I can't find the movie listings," Carmine told her. "Why don't we just go see whatever's playing now?"

Shirley looked at him. "It's probably Godzilla or some other type of horror..."

"Hello!" Squiggy said, barging in.

Carmine looked at him. "Don't you know how to knock?"

"Yeah, but I try not to make a habit out of it," Squiggy answered.

From outside, there's a sound of a car pulling up. A voice is heard, but the words are undecipherable. Then the squeal of tires is heard.

Shirley ran over to the window and peeked out.

"Who was that?" Carmine asked.

Shirley turned, a grim look was on her face. "Laverne's father." She paused, "He bought Laverne and Lenny home."

"Hmm, sounds like someone didn't tell someone that that someone was going somewhere with certain other someones!" Squiggy said.

"What?" Carmine asked.

Shirley pointed at the door. "Get out!"

"Why should I? I wanna see what Mr. DeFazio did to Lenny..." Squiggy said.

The door opened and Laverne came in.

"SQUIGGY!... You're a dead man!" Laverne said, charging towards him.

Shirley stepped out in front of her to hold her back. "Vernie..."

"Shirl, first he sets up the whole trip, second he leaves early, and third he tells my pop something that wasn't my fault... I think that's a great reason to..." Laverne rambled.

"Okay, okay, but why don't we wait for him to get hit by a beer truck. Maybe someone we know will be driving it," Shirley told her.

The door swung open. Lenny staggered in with suitcases in hand. "Help!" he whined and dropped everything on the floor.

There was a moan heard. Everyone looked at Squiggy. He had an angry look on his face. "Whatta gyp! Three hundred bucks down the tubes!"

Lenny went over next to Squiggy. "Squig, look at it this way, I still have fifty bucks and you're gonna get up close and personal with my beer truck!" He grinned at Squiggy, who had a grim look on his face.

Laverne, Shirley, and Carmine began to laugh.

THE END :)~