ONE
Bronko's Garage, afternoon

Fonzie is looking over the next day's schedule. Lenny comes in.

Lenny- Fonz? Remember when you said that Potsie finally listened to you about not driving?

Fonzie- Yeah... what'd he do?

Lenny- Well, see, Squig was s'posed to be goin' back to Shotz after he dropped off his delivery...

Fonzie- Lenny, the suspense is killin' The Fonz, lemme guess, they collided into each other?

Lenny- You heard this already?

Fonzie- Lucky guess. (looks at the next day's schedule again; picks up a pencil and starts erasing) Looks like I'll only have five dates on Saturday.

Lenny- Five girls? Wow!

Fonzie- Five dates... I promised this chick named Shortcake I'd take her up to Inspiration Point. We were planning on closing it all day to the public... now it'll just be closed through the evening. (pause) You drive, right?

Lenny- Yeah, I've had bad luck with bikes.

Fonzie- Yeah, whatever. Listen, why don't you try and talk to Potsie and (cringes) Squiggy and tell them to be more careful... or else, okay?

Lenny- Okay... Does that mean I get ta leave early?

Fonzie- It's ten minutes till quittin' time... go, just come earlier tomorrow and maybe we'll fix the wrecks before the day's over.

Lenny- Thanks, Fonz! (leaves)

Fonzie- Potsie and (cringes) Squiggy crash into each other and my only help to fix the wrecks is a cross between the two. (gets up and goes into the office

TWO
Kosnowski apartment

The door flies open.

Squiggy (coming in)- Ya gotta hide me!

Laverne- Why?

Squiggy- I just wrecked one-a Shotz's trucks...

Laverne- He'l demote ya for that.

Squiggy- ...An' it got towed to Bronko's.

Laverne- Fonz is gonna getcha for that! Did ya hit someone?

Squiggy- Uh... maybe.

Laverne- Maybe...?

The door opens.

Lenny comes in with Potsie talking a mile a minute.

Potsie- You've gotta tell me where he is! (sees Squiggy) You!

Squiggy- Bye! (he runs out the door)

Potsie- Come back here! (runs out after him)

Laverne- We shoulda seen this comin'. After all, Squig did crash two vehicles and squashed BooBooKitty before he left the living room.

Lenny- Yeah, because-a those two, me and Fonz gotta work on both wrecks tomorrow.

Laverne- There go the movies.

Lenny- You can still go with Shirley and Carmine.

Laverne- Are you listening to yourself? If I go alone with them, they'll be doing Lord-knows-what the whole time and I'll actually hafta watch the movie.

Lenny- How 'bout you get Edna to watch Tommy and come down to Bronko's with me?

Laverne- Yeah, okay, I'll do that!

Lenny- Now, what were you sayin' about doin' Lord-knows-what?

THREE
next morning, Bronko's Garage

Laverne and Lenny come in. They go over and look at the two wrecks.

Laverne- Are you sure Fonz said these'd take only one extra day?

Lenny- Well, I only saw him erase one day's schedule... there's gonna be alotta unhappy people because-a Squig and Potsie.

Fonzie (coming out of the ffice)- There are those names again.

Lenny- Sorry, Fonz.

Laverne- Hiya, Fonz.

Fonzie- Laverne!... Where's the kid?

Laverne- I asked Edna to watch him... I knew you'd end up wanting to play with him, so I figured this way you'd get more work done.

Fonzie- Sounds like The Fonz will have to stop by more often... I'll get you one of those hotel "Do Not Disturb" signs.

Lenny- What for?

Laverne smacks him in the back of the head.

Lenny (realizes)- Oh!

FOUR
later that day

Fonzie comes in from his lunhbreak (part one of his date with Shortcake) and finds Laverne and Lenny making out. Fonzie goes over and leans against the closer wreck, waiting for one of them to see him. They don't, so he starts looking around and whistling. Still, they don't notice him. Finally, Fonzie crosses his arms.

Fonzie (looking right at them; loud, but with his usual cool)- Ahem!

Lenny- Sorry, Fonz.

Fonzie- It's nice to know that the art of using one's lunch break to spend time with a chick is still alive and well.

Laverne- Of course, Fonz. The only people who actually eat during their lunch break either hate who they're working with or they're just ignorant.

Squiggy (coming in)- Hello!

Fonzie looks at Laverne.

Laverne- Sorry 'bout that. (pause) Whadya want, Squig?

Squiggy- Shotz wants to know if his truck's ready yet.

Lenny- It ain't ready yet, Squig.

Squiggy- Can'tcha work a little faster!? Shotz is dockin' me by the hour.

Lenny- Ya want this done right or ya want it done fast?

Squiggy- What about both?

Fonzie- Enough. The Fonz will call Shotz and let him know when his truck is ready. Now, will you leave? You're cramping The Fonz style.

Squiggy- Fine, I'll leave, I don't have any style anyways. (leaves)

Fonzie- Whenever he is around, I can just feel my cool disappearing.

Laverne- Yeah, he has that affect on people.

FIVE
Arnold's, later that evening

Two girls walk in.

Girl 1- Wow, this place looks even better than ya said. (scans the people in the booths) Some cute guys, too!

Girl 2- See, I told ya there was nothin' to worry about. (scans room) I don't see Fonzie, though. He must still be at work.

Girl 1- Hey, is that Laverne over there? (points)

Girl 2- Yeah, it is! Let's go say hi.

The girls go over to where Laverne is sitting.

Girl 1- Hiya, Laverne!

Laverne (looks at them)- Lauren? Joanie? Geez, it's been a long time!

Lauren {Girl 1}- Very long.

Joanie {Girl 2}- What're ya doin' on this side of that tracks?

Laverne- I'm waiting for Lenny and Fonz to fix a coupla wrecks.

Joanie- Wait, Fonz told me that our date was shortened because of those wrecks. So, you're waitin' for Lenny.

Laverne- Yup.

Lauren- Pay up. (holds her hand out at Joanie)

Joanie- Awe, nuts! (starts digging in a pocket for money)

Laverne- What're ya doin'?

Joanie- Before ya moved out to Burbank, well, Lauren and I sorta made a little bet.

Lauren- And I won!

Laverne- You two aren't makin' any sense.

Lauren- You're right! I'm makin' dollars!

Joanie- We bet on whether you and Lenny would get together or not.

Laverne- Well, sorry about not inviting ya to the wedding.

Lauren- Wedding?! (turns to Joanie) Pay up!

Laverne- You bet on that, too?! I don't believe you!

Lenny comes in and goes over to the booth.

Laverne- Hi, Len, you guys finish up on those wrecks?

Lenny- Finally. (notices Lauren and Joanie) Hi, girls.

Lauren- Well, I guess we'll get goin' now that I got my money.

Joanie- See ya later.

They go over to an empty booth.

Lenny- Did I miss som'en?

Laverne- Not really.

Fonzie comes in and goes over to the girls' booth.

Fonzie- Shortcake!

Joanie- Hiya, Fonz!

Lauren- Ahem!

Joanie- Fonz, this is Lauren. She didn't have a date so I let her come along.

Fonzie- There's plenty of The Fonz to go around.

The girls stand and Fonzie puts an arm around each of them and they leave.

Laverne- Those two are just like me and Shirl were.

Lenny- Shortcake?

Laverne- Maybe she likes whip cream.

SIX
730 Knapp Street, outside the building

Potsie- I spent my life savings on that car!

Squiggy- So? It was a wreck already! I got demoted to truck washer for a month!

Potsie- Atleast the roads will be safer with you not driving on them!

Laverne and Lenny come around the street corner.

Laverne- I don't believe they're still arguin'.

Lenny- They never got along to start with. (pause) Walk by quietly, maybe they won't notice us.

They start past them and up the stairs.

Squiggy- Hey, Lenny!

Laverne- We weren't invisible enough, I guess.

Lenny- Yeah, you go in and I'll see what he wants.

Laverne goes in the building and Lenny goes back down to the street.

Lenny- Why're you guys still arguin'? Fonz and I were nice enough to fix them for free... and Fonz had to cut his dates short tonight.

Potsie- I'm just trying to get an apology out of him.

Squiggy- It ain't gonna happen.

Lenny- He's right. I've known 'im practically all my life and he's only apologizd to me once and it was after he pushed me out a window...

Squiggy- Not that again!

Lenny- Even then I hadta talk 'im into it.

Potsie- So, I'm wasting m time?

Lenny- Pretty much, yeah.

Potsie- It's a good thing my dad doesn't talk to me. I'd be in trouble for this! (turns and starts down the street)

Squiggy- That was close!

Lenny- It wouldn'ta killed ya to apologize, Squig.

Squiggy- It ain't my style.

Lenny- Yeah, but it was your fault.

Squiggy- My fault? He's the one who was driving the wreck already!

Lenny- An' those beer trucks aren't wrecks?

Squiggy- Well... maybe they are, maybe they aren't. (pause) Why'd ya help me?

Lenny- Ya called me back down here.

Squiggy- I did?

Lenny- Yeah, remember, you said 'Hey, Lenny'.

Squiggy- But I only wanted to say 'Hi'.

Lenny- Squig, you're givin' me a headache.

Squiggy- Wait a minute... you ain't mad at me no more?

Lenny- When was I mad at you?

Squiggy The moment you showed up in Burbank.

Lenny- No, you were mad at me cuz you thought I still owed twenty-five bucks on that bill, then you found out it was Rhonda who owed.

Squiggy- Oh, yeah.

Lenny- And you're jealous.

Squiggy- Am not.

Lenny- Are to!

Squiggy- Am not!

Lenny- Yeah, you are!

Squiggy- Why?

Lenny- Cuz...

Squiggy- Cuz...?

Lenny- Just cuz.

Squiggy (makes a face)- That don't make any sense... (pause) Oh! That cuz! (pause) Well, maybe a little.

Lenny- What about Francine? Remember, she followed us out to Burbank and you thought they were twins separated at birth.

Squiggy- They weren't?

Lenny- No, the girl you were out with on Hoot Night was Frqancine! She prob'ly gave ya another name so ya wouldn't think she followed ya.

Squiggy- Prob'ly... I think I'll go down and hang around outside the Tango Palace. That was the first time she said she liked moths.

Lenny- Awe...

Squiggy- Yeah, yeah. Hey, don't tell anyone, but, thanks.

They shake hands to a "stupid!".

THE END   :)~