ONE

Last time on "Laverne & Shirley"...

Shirley returned to Burbank and revealed that she didn't really love what's-his-name. Carmine returned and asked Shirley to marry him. Lenny returned and asked Laverne to marry him. Edna returned and got back together with Frank. Squiggy is bothering Rhonda for the $25 she owes from the wrecked hotel room nearly 5 years ago.

TWO
three months after the previous events, Laverne & Shirley's apartment, morning

The girls are sitting on the couch.

Shirley- Laverne, who's gonna keep this apartment?

Laverne- Well, I sorta thought that me and Lenny would keep it. I have been here longer than you have.

Shirley- But Carmine doesn't have a place! He's staying with Squiggy!

Laverne- Yeah, well, Lenny don't have a place either and he's made himself quite comfortable on this here table. (she taps her hand on it)

Shirley- Fine. I see now there's no real sense in arguing over this... I say we kick Squiggy out of his place!

Laverne- Shirl, are you listening to yourself?! I know he's Squiggy. That don't mean you can kick him out.

Shirley- He kicked Lenny out.

Laverne (rolls her eyes)- He never let him back in! You can't kick someone out if they weren't in to begin with!... Can we get back to planning our bachelorette party, huh?

Shirley- Oh, alright... You're not planning on smut at it, are you?

Laverne- Shirl, you can't be serious...

The phone rings.

Laverne (getting up)- I'll get it.

Shirley (mumbling)- Why not, it's your phone...

Laverne (to the phone)- Really!? Oh, that's great! Thanks! Bye. (she hangs up the phone)

Shirley- What was that?

Laverne- Uh, a little som'en for our party.

Shirley- One smutty affair comin' up.

THREE
Cowboy Bill's, early afternoon

Shirley and Carmine are having lunch.

Shirley- Laverne is acting really weird.

Carmine- How do ya know?

Shirley- She's been singing these little kid songs and it's just really weird.

Carmine- She's probably just nervous. I mean, the big day is tomorrow, after all.

Shirley (smiles)- It certainly is.

Carmine- You girls gonna have a party tonight?

Shirley- Just a little one... very little... us, Edna, and, unfortunately, Rhonda. What about you?

Carmine- Me? No, besides, I think Lenny and Squiggy are plannin' som'en and I really don't wanna know what it is.

Shirley (makes a face)- They'll probably end up tryin to ice skate on Jello again... Maybe I oughtta warn Laverne...

FOUR
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, night

The girls are having their party.

Rhonda- Rhonda is so happy for you!

Laverne- Can't you say I?

Shirley- Laverne. (to Rhonda) Thanks so much, Rhonda!

Edna- I'm happy, too... I wish I'd gotten you girls something for a surprise.

Laverne- Well, I might be able to take care of the surprise.

Shirley- What do you mean?

Laverne- Remember the phone call I got earlier today?

Shirley Yeah.

Laverne- Well, the rabbit died.

FIVE
the boys' apartment

Squiggy- I can't believe ya won't let me throw ya a party!

Lenny- I don't need a party...

Shirley is now freaking out across the hall. {I think she just got what Laverne said!}

Squiggy- What the heck is that?

Lenny- Maybe we oughtta find out...

SIX
the girls' apartment

Shirley is still freaking out.

The boys barge in.

Squiggy- What is up your nose?!

Edna- We just found out this bachelorette party is a baby shower.

Shirley stops.

Shirley- She couldn't even wait...

Squiggy- He couldn't either.

Shirley (pointing at the door)- OUT! (she gets up and shoves Squiggy out the door, slamming it behind him)

Edna- This is turning out better than a soap opera.

Laverne (sees the look on Shirley's face)- Edna, maybe you and Rhonda better leave, I think Shirl's about to explode.

Edna and Rhonda leave through the kitchen.

Shirley- I don't believe this!

Laverne- I don't believe you! What's the matter with you? I mean, the wedding is tomorrow!

Shirley- You got a white dress.

Laverne- Brides wear white!

Shirley- Most of them!

Laverne- Shirl, you're impossible. (she sits on the couch)

Shirley makes her way to the couch, shoving Lenny out of the way. {Yeah, he's still there.}

Shirley (sitting on the couch)- Laverne, it's the principle...

Laverne- I never liked principles... Besides, you've got a kid. {that caught Lenny's attention} You weren't married to what's-his-name that long!

Shirley- You finally got the point I was trying to make!

Laverne (with a look of confusion)- Huh? What point?

Lenny- Shirley didn't have rights to the white dress either.

Shirley 9glares at Lenny, then turns back to Laverne)- He got it.

Laverne- So we're even. What's the big fuss.

Shirley- Vernie, neither of us should be wearing white tomorrow, but we are. So, let's just try not to do anything else that'll lose us that privilege, okay?

Laverne- Okay.

They shake hands.

Lenny- Uh, why am I still here?

SEVEN

{add wedding (6/23/68, I think)... I can't write a wedding... use your imagination - get it warmed up, you'll need it again}

EIGHT
reception {condensed}

Squiggy started a food fight that landed him in a nearby pool. {Thanks, Carmine!}

Laverne told Frank about her... ahem, "little surprise" and he hit the roof, then he tried to hit Lenny, but he ran off before Frank even had the chance.

Shirley and Carmine just sat at a table the whole time talking and eating... and talking.

NINE

{add honeymoon... I told ya you'd need your imagination again ;)}

TEN
the day after the wedding, Kosnowski apartment {hee hee}

Shirley and Carmine are sitting at the table looking through the newspaper for an apartment.

Laverne is helping Lenny move his stuff.

Carmine (pointing at the paper)- How about this one?

Shirley (looks at it)- Hmm... that sounds nice, we'll make it a maybe. (she writes down the information on a pad of paper)

Laverne comes in the door, carrying a box, and goes up the stairs, followed by Lenny, who's carrying a duffle bag. {Doesn't that just figure!}

Shirley (sees Laverne)- I think we're actually got some possibilities.

Laverne (standing in the bedroom doorway)- Great, I'll take a look in a minute. (she disappears through the doorway)

Lenny drops the bag on the couch and starts out.

Carmine- Hey, Len, why is Laverne carrying the box?

Laverne comes down the stairs.

Laverne- Don't answer that!

Lenny goes out the door.

Laverne goes over to the table.

Shirley (handing Laverne the notepad)- I've divided up the possibilites.

Laverne- Hey, ya found one here on Laurel Vista!

Carmine- Yeah, but it's a bit more expensive than we were looking for.

Lenny comes back in and puts something on the coffee table.

Lenny- Hey, Vernie, how's this?

Laverne (goes over to the coffee table)- Jeffrey on the coffee table? I dunno...

Lenny (gives her that 'look' and points at the green fuzzy dice)- Whatta 'bout them?

Laverne- Jeffrey can stay.

Shirley- Laverne, do ya think your pop would let Carmine work at Cowboy Bill's for a little while?

Laverne- Do ya mind being the entertainment? The jukebox is broken.

Carmine- Why would I mind?!

Lenny- Vernie...

Laverne- Busboy... but I won't promise it. I think m pop's still not too thrilled... you know.

Carmine (excited)- AngelFace, lookit this one! (he points out the ad) I think this one is it!

Shirley (reads the ad)- But it's all the way across Burbank... isn't there anything closer?

Carmine- Not within our price range. Let's just go look at it atleast, okay?

Shirley- Okay.

They get up and leave.

Laverne- I hope they find a place soon. It's gettin' a little too cramped here.

They start out of the apartment.

Lenny- Yeah... we gotta do som'en about those Ozzie and Harriet beds...

They leave.

ELEVEN
two hours later

Shirley and carmine have just finished looking at the house - a small, one story, sorta Dutch colonial, but not really, with a white picket fence, and a dog house left from the previous owners.

Shirley (excited)- Oh, Carmine! This house is beautifu!

Carmine- And it's in a great neighborhood!

Shirley- Let's sign the papers!

Carmine- Okay!

They go over to the realestate agent and sign the papers.