ONE
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, the day before
Halloween, afternoon
The girls are putting up some decorations.
Laverne (coming out of the bedroom, carrying something rather disgusting looking)- Hey, Shirl! Where should I put the bloody head?
Shirley- Back on your shoulders! (she laughs)
Laverne- Ha ha ha. Very funny, Shirl. (she goes over to the coffee table) I'll just put it here on the table.
There's a knock at the door.
Laverne (going over to the door)- I'll get it. (she opens the door and sees... a vampire?)
Lenny- Whadya think?
Laverne- Not bad, but I don't think Dracula ever wore a blue Hawaiian shirt with his cape.
Lenny- Picky, picky, picky...
Laverne (turning away from the door)- Where's Lauren? I thought she was gonna help us decorate?
Lenny (going over to the couch; he picks up the head)- She's still trying to pick a costume. I thought I'd give ya a hand... or how 'bout a head? (he turns to face the girls, still holding the head)
Shirley (coming out of the kitchen)- Vernie, let 'im help decorate. I gotta go uy some food for the party. (she goes to the closet, gets her coat, and leaves)
Laverne (tossing Lenny some streamers)- Here, do som'en with these... but no mummies.
Lenny- Darn.
TWO
a half an hour later
There's a knock at the door.
Laverne (going over to the door)- I got it. (she opens the door)
Lauren (coming in)- Hi, Laverne. (sees Lenny trying to hang some streamers) Hi, Len.
Lenny- Hi...
Laverne- What, no costume yet? You shoulda came dressed... I already got Drac helpin' me.
Lauren- I would've, but it's a surprise.
Lenny- A surprise?
Lauren- Yeah... and don't even think of tryin' to make me tell ya either, because if I tell someone, I won't have the guts to wear it.
Laverne (leaning close to Lauren)- Is is smutty?
Lauren (giving Laverne a weird look)- no, it isn't smutty. (she looks around) What's left to decorate?
Laverne (looking around - Lenny's having a slight problem with the streamers)- Maybe you could help Len with the streamers... (whispering) before Drac turns himself into a mummy!
Lauren (smiling)- Good point.
THREE
an hour later
The girls' apartment is completely decorated. Shirley is putting away the groceries and Laverne is sitting on the couch.
Laverne (turning the TV on)- I wonder if there're any good monster movies on now?... (she turns the dial and bangs the side of the TV)
Shirley- Laverne, don't hit the TV! it hasn't done anything to you!
Laverne- Maybe, but it hasn't done much for me, either... (mumbling) Where's Fonzie when you need him.
Shirley- I wonder what Lauren's costume is.
Laverne- I'm more interested in what Kristin and Squiggy are gonna come as!
Shirley- Laverne, what did you choose?
Laverne- Well, since I talked Norman into taking the night off, he's gonna let me borrow a police uniform.
Shirley- Great! You can raid your own party!
Laverne- What're you and Carmine gonna come as?
Shirley- We're goin' classic: Romeo and Juliet.
Laverne- Figures... Hey, Shirl, do you think we should pt a little plan together for a good scare for our unlucky party guests?
Shirley- That's a good idea... but just by you and me? Maybe we oughtta let someone else in on it.
Laverne- I know who...
FOUR
fourth floor, the next day, morning
Kristing comes out of her apartment and into the hall. She looks over at the boys' door and takes a few steps closer. The boys' usual sign isn't on the door; the new one says "All Ghouls This Way". Kristin smiles and laughs lightly.
Kristin (to herself)- Whatta sense of humore! (she knocks on the door) Squig?
The door opens.
Lenny- You just missed 'im.
Kristin- Darn! He hasn't told me what costume he got yet... I still need to get mine. Do you know what he got?
Lenny- Naw. I wish I did, though. Do you know what Lauren's is?
Kristin- No, she's keeping it a big secret... I think she padlocked the closet. Well, thanks anyway. (she turns and goes down the hall)
Lenny goes out into the hall and sees that Kristin left the door open. He goes across the hall and into the doorway.
Lenny (knocking on the open door)- Anybody here?... dead or alive? (he listens - nothing; he goes in and looks around; he spots a box sitting on the floor and goes over to it) I wonder if... (he opens the box and looks inside - it's empty) That's weird...
Suddenly, the door slams, causing Lenny to fall over.
Lenny (sitting up)- Must be a draft in here. (he looks at the window; it's closed) ...No draft.
The window shoots open, loudly.
Lenny (staring at the now open window)- Uh... I think it's time I left. (he gets up quickly and runs to the door; he tries to open it, but it won't open) how can the door be locked!? (the window slams shut; Lenny spins around and is now standing with his back to the door) I don't like this... (all the lights go off) Awe, no, not the lights, too! (he turns to the door; it's still locked) Whatta great time for the door to have a mind of its own! (worried) I gotta get outta here... (he looks towards the window) I'm not goin' that way... the dumb-waiter! (he starts to make his way over to the dumb-waiter, but trips over something; the lights come back on; he turns and looks at what tripped him - a hand from underneath the couch; he jumps up, runs over to the door - it's open; he runs out and into his apartment, slamming the door behind him)
FIVE
Laverne & Shirley's apartment (while Lenny's
getting scared)
Kristin- Are you sure you don't know what costume Squig's got?
Shirley- Positive.
Kristin- It must be som'en good if he hasn't told anyone...
The door to the boys' apartment just slammed, being accompanied by Lenny yelling.
The girls stop and listen.
Laverne- What the...?
Kristin- Why is he yelling like that?
Shirley- Maybe we should go find out.
SIX
fourth floor
The three girls are coming up the last flight of stairs.
Kristin- Hey! I left the door open! (she darts over to her apartment and looks in) Nope, nothin' here. (she digs out her key, closes the door, and locks it)
Laverne (knocking on the boys door)- Len?! (she turns the knob and the door opens) I think he forgot to lock it behind him. (she goes in) Len?!
Lenny (peeking out from under the blankets on the top bunk)- Laverne?
Laverne- What's goin' on? We heard you yelling all the way from our apartment.
Lenny (coming out from under the blankets)- lauren and Kristin's apartment... it's haunted!
laverne- Haunted? (she goes over ahd helps him off the bunk; he's shaking like crazy) What happened?
Kristin and Shirley come in.
Kristin- My apartment's haunted?
Shirley- What happened?
Lenny tells them the whole story - Shirley believes it, Laverne doesn't, and all Kristin can say is "My apartment's haunted?".
Laverne- Len, you're not s'posed to hit the cider until the party.
Lenny- I'm not kiddin'!
Shirely- Vernie, atleast give 'im the benefit of the doubt.
Laverne- Well, then he's gettin' alot of benefit because I dout any of that happened. it coulda been a nightmare for all we know...
Squiggy (coming in)- Hello! (sees everyone) What's wit' the welcoming committe?
Kristin- My apartment's haunted?
Squiggy- Oh, is that all?
Laverne- Lenny claims that Kristin's apartment is haunted...
Lenny- It is!
Shirley- Laverne, I don't think he'd make up a story like that.
Laverne- And I doubt that the apartment is haunted! (she goes to the door) I'm goin' back downstairs. let me know if he sees any ghosts! (she laughs, going down the stairs)
SEVEN
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, 30 minutes later
Laverne is pacing behind the couch, while Shirley is sitting.
Shirley- Vernie, I don't think that we should do any scaring at the party.
Laverne (stops pacing)- Why? Because-a Lenny?! The guy's afraid of lenoleum!
Shirley- But still...
laverne (begins pacing again)- Naw, we gotta come up with som'en. (she quickens her pace) Som'en good an' scary...
THe door flies open. {It's not Squiggy}
Lauren (coming in)- What the heck is goin' on around here? (she comes over to the couch) Kristin keeps repeating "My apartment's haunted?" and Lenny's freaking out without a reason! What happened?
Laverne- Len thinks your apartment's haunted... I think he's got a good imagination, but he's a terrible liar.
Shirley- I still believe him.
Laverne- You would. (turning to Lauren) Do you think your aparment could be haunted?
Lauren- No...
Laverne- See, Shirl!
Lauren- yes.
Laverne (giving Lauren an odd look)- Make up your mind!
Lauren- I don't know. Weird things can happen on halloween. (she turns for the door) I gotta go get ready for the party... and see if I can talk Lenny into leaving his apartment. (she leaves)
Shirley- You are so skeptical, Laverne! (she gets up and goes into the bedroom)
Laverne (mumbling)- And Lenny a big coward.
EIGHT
party, early evening
Nearly all the guestshave already shown up.
Shirley (dressed as Juliet)- Look at all those great costumes!
Laverne (dressed as a cop)- I can't believe Squiggy came as Frankenstein!
Shirley- And Kristin as the bride of! They're cute, though!
Laverne- Yeah, cute... Where's Lauren?
Shirley- I dunno. Maybe we oughtta go and see what's keeping her and Lenny.
Laverne- I'll check on Lauren. You check on Lenny.
They leave.
NINE
fourth floor
Laverne and Shirley come up the stairs. They see Lauren knocking on the boys door - they do a double take. She's dressed like as Lenny, except her jacket says "Lone Wolfette". {Don't ask how she fit it on there}
Shirley (coming up to Lauren)- How cute!... Atleast you didn't slick your hair.
Lauren (still knocking)- Thanks. I'd really like to be at your party, but Drac won't come out. (she stops knocking)
Laverne- Why don't we show him your apartment isn't haunted. We'll all go in together.
Lauren- That's a good idea. (she turns to the door) Len? C'mon out. We wanna show ya my apartment ain't haunted.
The door opens as far as the chain will allow.
Lenny- We all go?
Lauren- Yeah, whadya say?
Lenny- Okay. (he closes the door, takes the chain off, opens it, and comes out - he's wearing the blue Hawaiian shirt again with the cape)
Laverne- Ya run outta shirts?
Lenny- Ha ha... let's just get this over with.
Lauren opens the door and all four go in.
Lauren- See, nothing!
The door slams behind Lenny.
Lenny- It did it again
The three girls look at each other. They move over to the window and the couch. Lauren checks the window, Laverne checks under the couch, and Shirley is standing between them. The lights go off, there's a scream, and the lights come on. The three girls look at each other again, then look over to where Lenny was standing, except now he's lying on the floor.
Lauren (running over)- Len!
Laverne and SHirley stand frozen.
Lauren (kneeling next to him)- Len? (she shakes him - nothing) Lenny? (she shakes him again - still nothing) Awe, no...
Lenny- Gotcha! (he sits up)
Lauren- You scared me half to death! (she puts her hand over her heart)
Lenny- Now, ya know how I felt! I knew ya pulled that scare on me earlier!
Lauren- How?... Oops!
Laverne- What?!
Lauren- Alright, I confess. I set up that little prank... but I meant to do it to Squig. I'm sorry.
Lenny- Awe, it's okay. We're even. Besides, I love your costume!
They kiss. Shirley looks on, smiling, and Laverne is being sickened.
THE END :)~