SIX
Laverne and Shirley's apartment, early evening

The door opens and Laverne's key is stuck in the lock. She starts pulling on it while the boys come in arguing.

"It ain't my fault they gave you my shift!" Lenny argued.

"Yes it is! I bet you had this all planned out!" Squiggy argued back.

"Boys," Laverne said, yanking one last time on the key, finally getting it out of the lock, "will you knock it off! And I thought me and Shirl were bad." She went across the room to the kitchen. "Hasn't your apartment been... de-charred yet?" Laverne asked, getting a glass out of the cabinet.

Squiggy took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV. "It'll be in four days."

"Four days?! That's most of my vacation from Shirley!" Laverne complained.

"Thems the breaks!" Squiggy said.

Laverne got the milk and a bottle of Pepsi from the fridge and sat at the kitchen table.

Lenny came over and sat down at the table with her. "Sorry 'bout ruinin' your vacation."

Laverne started mixing her milk'n'Pepsi "It's okay - I'd be alone otherwise," she said, then took a drink.

"Is that good?" Lenny asked.

"This? Yeah. Want some?" Laverne asked, stretching out her arm, putting the glass right in Lenny's face.

"Uh..." Lenny paused, "sure." He took the glass and looked inside first, then drank some.

"Well?" Laverne asked.

Lenny put the glass on the table. "...That's not bad!"

"Tell Shirl that. She makes a face everytime... and she's never even tried it... I don't think," Laverne said.

"Yeah, she did. Remember, we were doin' Alice In Wonderland..." Lenny said.

Laverne slapped her forehead. "That's right - she wanted lemonade... oops!" she said and began laughing.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

"Laverne!"

Laverne's eyes went wide. "My pop! I bet Carmine told him about out little fight last night."

"Laverne!"

The knocking became pounding.

"Comin' pop!" Laverne said, loudly, getting up.

"Want us to hide?" Lenny asked as Laverne walked by.

"No - maybe if you guys explain, he won't give ya a smack," Laverne said. She got over to the door and opened it.

Frank charged in. "You!"

Laverne grabbed his arm. "Pop, it's okay. They've got no place to stay - they had a fire in their apartment..."

"Bonfire," Squiggy corrected, still watching TV.

Laverne slapped the back of his head and mumbled, "Don't help!"

"Then why don't they stay with Carmine?" Frank asked.

"Because Carmine can't stand them. Especially after Squiggy's sleepwalking the last time," Laverne answered.

"Then you come stay with me," Frank said.

"Uh, no, Pop, because I'd be too worried that they'd set fire here!" Laverne said. She began pushing Frank towards the door. "Everything's okay, Pop, don't worry..."

"Okay, okay," Frank said and left.

Laverne closed the door, leaned against it, and sighed.

"Boy, did you almost get it," Squiggy said.

"Huh?" Laverne questioned.

"Not you - him," Squiggy said, pointing at Lenny.

"Why me?" Lenny asked.

"She were layin' on your bed when Carmine came in last night," Squiggy said.

Lenny started to go over to the couch, but Laverne waved him off.

Laverne picked up a pillow. "Squig?"

"Yeah - " Squiggy started and turned, getting a pillow in the face.

SEVEN
mid-evening

Lenny is watching TV, when Laverne comes in the room.

"I hate Spring cleaning!... Where's Squig?" Laverne asked, sweeping the floor with her broom.

"He had a date - someone he met on what woulda been my shift," Lenny answered.

Laverne stopped sweeping and looked at him. "Jealous?..."

"No," Lenny said, quickly, "besides, she's more Squig's type anyway."

"Sorry," Laverne said, turning back to the bedroom. She flipped the light switch, the light blinked, and popped. She dropped her broom on he floor and put her hands on her hips. "I hate it when it does that!" Laverne said. "Now, I gotta replace the lightbulb..." she paused, "Hey, Len, would ya put the bulb in? I really don't feel like trying to find a ladder."

"Sure," Lenny said, getting up.

Laverne got the new bulb and the two went in the bedroom. She gave him the bulb.

Lenny put it in. "Anythin' else? I might as well help ya."

Laverne thought for a moment. "Uh... I don't think there's anythin' else - I don't wanna throw out somethin' of Shirl's and have her yellin' at me for weeks after."

"Okay," Lenny said. He went back into the living room and plopped on the couch.

Laverne followed him. She went behind the couch and pulled out a photo album, brought it with her to the front of the couch, and sat next to Lenny.

"What's that? I thought only Shirl had one-a those," Lenny said.

"Well, I saw how Shirl always acted and... well... I promised myself that as long as I don't squeal the way she does that I would keep one of my own," Laverne said, opening the album. "It's not really of my family - it's mostly of me, Shirl, Carmine, you, and Squig... but not Squig too much. I'm afraid he's gonna crack my camera lens one of these days," she chuckled.

Lenny giggled. "So that's why his mom don't have 'ny pictures of him!"

Laverne turned the page and immediately covered a picture with her hand. She began to turn to the next page.

"Hey, what's that?" Lenny asked, trying to pry Laverne's hand off of the picture.

"It's nothin'... nothin' at all..."

Lenny finally got her hand off of it. It was a picture of the two of them after Laverne found out he had a crush on her. "What's wrong with that?"

"Uh... well... I... dunno. I mean," Laverne paused and sighed, "Squig's on a date... and we're... just sittin' here."

"Yeah, so? Whadya think I'm gonna flip out over ya again! No way, I learned... we're friends and that's it," Lenny said and crossed his arms.

"I'm sorry," Laverne paused, then mumbled, "I keep apologizing!" She sighed again. "So, do ya think Squig's gonna be back tonight?"

"Prob'ly, but it depends on how long she can stand him..." Lenny said.

They looked at each other and shook their heads. "Not long!" they said in unison.

EIGHT
six days later, early morning

Shirley has just gotten home. She's looking at the mess around her. "Laverne!"

Laverne comes running out of the bedroom. "Shirl!"

The two collide in a hug, then separate.

"Laverne, what's with the mess? I thought you were gonna do some Spring cleaning?" Shirley asked.

"Well," Laverne said, looking around the room, "I didn't wanna throw somethin' of yours out and have ya yellin' at me for weeks after and..."

"Laverne!"

Shirley got a weird look on her face. "What was that?"

"Huh? What was what?" Laverne asked.

"Laverne!"

"That!" Shirley exclimed, getting frustrated.

"Well, we were tryin' to clean that stupid closet... you know, how everythin' falls out when ya open the door..." Laverne began.

"Laverne!"

Suddenly, there was a crash, then a high-pitched yelp.

"Laverne!"

Shirley put a hand on Laverne's shoulder. "Before we find out what that was, answer me this: who is 'we'? You and who?"

"Follow me," Laverne said and began pulling Shirley into the bedroom.

In the bedroom, stuff from the girls' closet was all over the room.

Shirley screamed and covered half of her face with her hands, but stopped when she saw something move. "Laverne," she said, pointing a finger.

Laverne chuckled. "Don't worry," she said, trudging through the mess. She found a hand and pulled. "It's only Lenny," she said, pulling him out of the mess.

"Talk about an avalanche!" Lenny said. "Hi-ya, Shirl!"

"Hi... Len," Shirley said. She came up to the edge of the mess. "I didn't know there was this much junk in that closet..." she paused, seeing Lenny's bandaged wrist, "What happened?!" Shirley began climbing through the mess to get to him.

"Oh, Shirl, you freak out about everythin'. He's fine," Laverne told her.

Lenny nodded his head in agreement.

"You know, I was going to ask about what happened while I was gone... but now I don't really wanna know!" Shirley said, wading out of the mess.

"C'mon, Shirl, lemme tell ya!" Laverne said, following her, leaving Lenny still standing in the mess.

Shirley entered the living room and screamed. Squiggy was sitting on their couch.

Laverne came up behind her. "Now, do ya wanna know the story?... I have a shortened version?"

Shirley sighed. "Just tell me why Lenny and Squiggy are here."

"Our apartment got charred," Squiggy said, fiddling with the TV antenna.

"Charred?" Shirley asked.

"They had a little fire, so I let them stay here. Of course, their apartment was fixed up three days ago, but they wouldn't leave..." Laverne began to explain.

"Wait, they've been here all week... with you?" Shirley asked.

"I wasn't gonna leave 'em here. They'd prob'ly set fire here..." Laverne said.

"Are you nuts?!" Shirley yelled. "Those two... you... here... alone..."

"Whoa, Shirl, calm down. Boy, everybody just wants to freak out - Carmine, my pop..." Laverne said.

Lenny came out of the girls' bedroom and walked up behind the girls.

"Laverne, I don't care. Just get them outta here!" Shirley said, going over to Squiggy. "C'mon, get outta here!" She grabbed his arm and began pulling.

"Hey, I'll go when I'm good an' ready," Squiggy said.

"GET OUT!" Shirley yelled.

Squiggy backed off. "Okay, okay, I'm ready." He gathered his stuff and left, with Shirley watching him the whole time.

She turned and saw Laverne standing there, not doing anything, with Lenny behind her. "Laverne," she said, motioning her finger to signal Laverne to turn around.

Laverne turned around right into Lenny, who put his arms around her and kissed her. As soon as she realized what happened, she gave him a shove. "I thought ya said ya weren't gonna do that." Laverne said.

"I lied," Lenny said, shrugging his shoulders.

Laverne picked up a pillow and Lenny made a run for it, grabbing his stuff as he headed for the door and ran out and up the stairs.

Laverne went up to the door, closed it, and turned around slowly to face Shirley, who now had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot on the floor in disgust.

"Laverne..." Shirley started.

"Ya know, Shirl," Laverne said, coming up next to Shirley. She put an arm around Shirley's shoulders. "He may be a little dense, but Lenny's not too shabby at kissin'!"

Shirley freaked out and began chasing Laverne around their apartment.

THE END :)~