ONE
Slotnik's parking lot, afternoon

Lauren (looking over her list)- Len, did ya hafta actually put Bosco on here fifteen times?

Lenny- It's two for fifty cents!

Lauren- That's thirty jars! I'm not payin' for your Bosco!

Lenny- Awe, c'mon, please!

Lauren- You don't wanna pay because ya don't know how much that comes to.

Lenny- Well...

They walk in the store.

Lauren- I'd like to keep my list short. besides, me and Kristin made a deal. I buy my food, she buys hers and what you want plays no part in that.

Lenny- Oh, alright.

TWO
five minutes later

Lauren and Lenny are now in the cereal aisle.

Lauren- Frosted Flakes or Rice Krispies...?

Lenny- Bosco!

Lauren- Len!

The lights flicker.

Lenny- Is there s'posed to be a strobe effect like that?

Lauren- I don't think so.

The lights go out, folowed by a scream, then what sounds like a gunshot.

Lauren and Lenny look at each other.

Lauren- Ya know, I don't think any of this is s'posed to happen. (she gulps)

Lenny- We shoulda made Squig do the shoppin'.

Lauren- Then he'd be stuck here.

Lenny- They don't let Squig in here anymore.

Lauren- That'd work... don't tell me someone's tryin' to hold up a supermarket.

Lenny- Okay, I won't tell ya.

Lauren- Maybe we oughtta make ourselves scarce.

Lenny- How?

Lauren- We find a place to hide!

THREE
Laverne & Shirley's apartment

Laverne is sitting on the couch, watching TV. There's a news interruption.

Laverne- I hate it when they interrupt the show!

TV Announcer- News flash: A few minutes ago, five armed robbers took over Slotnik's...

Laverne- Slotnik's?! (calls towards bedroom) Shirl! Haul it out here, quick!

Shirley (running into the room)- What's the matter?

Laverne- Some robbers are holdin' up Slotnik's.

Shirley- Slotnik's!?

Laverne- Yeah, can ya believe it? Geez.

Shirley is now pale in the face.

Laverne (sees the look on Shirley's face)- Shirl? Whatsa matter?

Shirley- Lauren's doing her shopping today...

Laverne- I know that... What!?

Shirley- Lauren's at Slotnik's...

Laverne- What're we gonna do?

The door flies open

Squiggy (runing in)- Girls...!

Laverne- Not now, Squig!

Squiggy- Didja hear about Slotnik's?

Shirley- We just did and Lauren's there!

Squiggy- I know, so's Lenny!

Laverne- This is awful! There's gotta be som'en we can do!

Shirley- They must have cops there already if they're reporting it on the news.

Laverne- But are the cops doin' anything to get the people out?!

Squiggy- Girls! I know ya love ta argue wit' each other, but we got a problem here!

Shirley- He's right, but what can we do?

Laverne- Call Fonz and see if he can calm us down!

Carmine (coming in)- What's all the commotion?

Shirley- Slotnik's is being held up.

Carmine bursts out laughing.

Carmine (through laughter)- They must be desperate!

Shirley (annoyed)- Carmine! Lauren and Lenny are there!

Carmine's laughter drops off immediately.

Carmine- That's not funny. Maybe we should go down in the neighborhood... there's cops there already, right?

Laverne- Yeah, they should be.

Shirley- Someone should stay here, though... I'll stay.

Kristin (running in)- This is awful!...

Squiggy- We know, we was just about to go down there.

Carmine- In the neighborhood, but not in the parking lot. We gotta keep a safe distance!

Laverne- Well, let's quit yackin' and go!

Laverne, Carmine, and Squiggy leave.

FOUR
Sltonik's

Lauren and Lenny are sitting behind a counter.

Lauren (whispering)- Why'd this hafta happen? Why?

Lenny- C'mon, all those guys are still at the front of the store. They prob'ly ain't even lookin' for hostages (Lauren whines) just money.

Lauren- I just wanna get outtahere and go home. (she rests her forehead on her knees)

Lenny- me, too.

FIVE
outside, about ten minutes later

Laverne, Carmine, and Squiggy are standing on the other side of a row of trees.

Laverne- They even got the SWAT team down there and they've got no one outta there yet!

Carmine- I can't believe the bad luck those two have.

Squiggy- Yeah, it's like they're walkin' bad luck charms.

Laverne- I wouldn't call 'em taht, although it's obvious they don't have the best luck in the world.

Kristin (walking up to them)- Anything yet?

Carmine- Not yet.

Laverne- I thought you were stayin' with Shirl?

Kristin- Well, I was, but she started pacin' back and forth... I was gettin' dizzy. Besides, I brought one of Lauren's walkie-talkies that keeps pickin' up the police band. I thought it'd help us keep current on late breaking news. (she turns it on)

The four listen through all the hissing for several seconds, then hear "two just cam out from back, five hoods still inside, hold fire".

Squiggy- Are they talkin' English?

Carmine- It's police band... it's a different ty[e of English.

Laverne- Yeah, it sounded like two people who were in the building managed to sneak out...

O.S. - They never knew we were in there!

The four turn around and find the two escapees were Lauren and Lenny.

Laverne- How'd ya get out?

Lenny- We climbed through an air vent.

Lauren- A disgusting air vent! I feel like I've got dust and cobwebs all over.

Squiggy- Prob'ly cuz ya do.

Lauren glares at him.

Lauren-We were (makes inch sign) this close to bein' hostages to a bunch of stupid hoods and all ya can do is joke about the dust and cobwebs!...

Squiggy backs off and goes over to Kristin.

The group starts back towards Knapp Street.

Laverne- Wre ya scared in there?

Lauren- A little. I'm just glad those hoods didn't know we were there. The place went dark and we were near the back of the building, so we hid for a few minutes, then Len saw the air vent. (pause) What about you, Len?

Lenny- Me? I just wanted to get outta there, I never thought about bein' scared.

Laverne- See why I asked you and not him?

Lauren- Yup.

SIX
Laverne & Shirley's apartment, night

The girls are getting ready to go to sleep.

Shirley- What a day this has been.

Laverne- Yeah, one heckuva day!

Shirley- I'd have been scared stiff if I'd been in Lauren's place. What about you, Vernie?

Laverne- Well... I dunno cuz Lauren said those hoods didn't know they were there. It's hard to say... maybe a little bit.

SEVEN
Lauren & Kristin's apartment

Kristin- So, you were really only a little scared?

Lauren- Yeah. Besides, it sounded like only one of them had a gun. I hope no one got hurt.

Kristin- Me, too. (pause) You're not gonna wanna sleep with the light on, are ya?

Lauren- I would, but our electric bill is high anough as is.