ONE
Lauren & Kristin's apartment, afternoon

Kristin comes in and sees Lauren, sitting on the couch, looking through a box.

Kristin- What're you doin'?

Lauren- Huh, oh, I was looking through some pictures.

Kristin- Can I look?

Lauren- Yeah, there's a pile here from before ya came out here.

Kristin- Gimme! (grabs the pile away from Lauren)

Lauren (sorta sarcastically)- You're welcome.

Kristin bursts out laughing.

Lauren- What're you laughin' at?

Kristin- This one of you lin' on the floor and Lenny on the couch. What happened, ya roll off? (continues laughing)

Lauren- Sorta. We were watching a movie, one of the Godzilla ones and we fell asleep. Next thing I know I'm on the floor cuz Lenny moved his arm.

Kristin (goes to the next picture)- What is this? (shows Lauren the picture)

Lauren- That was from the first night I was here. I went out onto the stoop to get some fresh air and Len came out...

Kristin (starts flippng pictures like crazy)- These are practically all of just you and Lenny. Who took these?

Lauren- I think Laverne and some of the really early one were Squig's because I think he was gonna try to blackmail me with 'em or som'en stupid like that.

The door flies open.

Squiggy (coming in)- Hello!

Lauren- Com'on, that was an obvious one... Whadya want?

Lenny- How do ya et peanut butter stains out?

Kristin (makes a face)- Peanut butter stains?

Lauren- Eww...

Squiggy (grabs the pile of pictures from Kristin)- Hey! This is my blackmail pile!

Lauren rolls her eyes.

Squiggy (still looking through, then pulls one out)- Ah ha! This is the one I was lookin' for!

Kristin- Which one? Why? (goes over to Squiggy) Oh, the one with Lauren on the floor. That's good for a chuckle.

Lauren- I was staying with the girls.

Lenny- No, they'd asked ya to watch their apartment for 'em, remember?

Lauren- Gee, I'd forgotten that part. (rolls her eyes again)

Kristin- The girls weren't there? So, it was just you two? (an evil grin forms on her face)

Lauren- I was wathing a movie and Len came down the dumb-waiter cuz Squig set up some alarms on their door.

Kristin- Some really weird things went on before I came.

Squiggy (puts an arm around her)- Thanks!

Lenny goes over, picks up the box of pictures and starts rummaging through them.

Lauren- I gotta correct ya, things are still pretty weird around here.

Kristin- She's got a good point. (pause) Good job, Squig!

  Squiggy- Thanks, Krissy!

As they start kissing, Lenny finds something in the box.

Lenny- Lauren?

Lauren (turns)- What?

Lenny- Lookit this.

Lauren (takes the paper and starts reading)- Oh, geez... (slides the paper under one of the cushions and glares at Lenny) Ya had to chicken out!?

Lenny (shrugging)- I couldn't do it.

Kristin and Squiggy finally separate.

Kristin- That was fun. (pause) Let's go see a movie.

Squiggy- Okay!

Kristin- You two comin'?

Lauren- No, thanks, you two go on.

Squiggy- C'mon, Krissy, we don't wanna miss the cartoon!

They leave.

Lauren lets out a sigh of relief.

Lauren- I swear, if they'd seen that paper, that would be the end of everything... Of course, (pulls out the paper) you could always sign it and then there'd be nothin' to worry about. (practically shoves the paper in his face)

Lenny- But they're not gonna see it. (puts it back under the cushion) There's already nothin' to worry about.

Lauren- I dunno...

Lenny- The NewView's showing two Godzilla movies in a half an hour.

Lauren-What was I worrying about? Let's go!

They leave.

TWO
about an hour later

There's a knock at Lauren & Kristin's door. No answer. The doorknob turns and the door opens. Laverne comes in.

Laverne- Lauren? Kristin? (nothing) Geez, they forgot to lock their door. (pause) While I'm here I think I'll see if they've got 'ny ice, they won't miss it. (starts past the couch and bumps the end cushion off; a paper falls on the floor; she picks it up, starts reading it, and her jaw drops)

THREE
Laverne & Shirley's apartment

The door flies open and Laverne rushes in.

Laverne (loudly)- Shirl!

Shirley (coming out of the bedroom)- My goodness, Laverne, could you be any louder?

Laverne- I could be, but... nevermind that! Look at what I found! (practically shoves the paper in her face)

Shirley- Not ice, apparently. (shoving the paper back at Laverne)

Laverne- Shirl, forget the ice! (gives Shirley the paper) Read it!

Shirley reads silently to herself and her jaw drops.

Shirley- Vernie, where did you find this?

Laverne- Under one of the couch cushions. I think Lauren was trying to hide it.

Shirley- Well, if she was trying to hide it, then what should we do?

Laverne- I only found it by accident. The cushion was over the edge of the couch frme and I bumped into it and this fell on the floor.

Shirley- Put it back. Just put it back where it was hidden and forget about it.

Laverne- How'm I supposed to forget about it?!

Shirley- Then just put it back and don't forget about it.

Laverne- Shirl, Lauren said that they were gonna take care of that and this little piece of paper is the real deal! Ya can't just hide a partially agreed on anulment paper!

Shirley (puts a finger up to her mouth)- Shhhh! You want the whole building to know?

Laverne- Yeah, well with the seven of us, half the building already knows.

Shirley- I wonder if Kristin and Squig know...

Laverne- It's too quiet, I don't think so.

Shilrey- Yeah, just look at the way you reacted.

Laverne- Well, how should I have reacted?

Shirley- Being a little clamer would be a good place to start.

Laverne- Shirl... I mean, come on, this is pretty serious.

Shirley- I know that...

There's a knock at the door.

Shirley (starts for the door)- ...but there has to be a good reason why. (opens the door)

Lauren (coming in)- This is so weird. The door to my apartment was open and I know I didn't leave it that way...

Laverne- I was looking for ice, I guess I forgot to close the door.

Lauren- Oh. (pause) Well, atleast I know who left the door open. I'll hafta go and figure out your reason, though. (turns to go up the stairs)

Shirley motions for Laverne to say something.

Laverne- Hey, Lauren?

Lauren (turns back)- What?

Laverne- Uhh....

Shirley goes over and gives Laverne a smack in the back of her head.

Laverne- The real reason I left the door open is because I sorta ran outta there.

Lauren- Why?

Laverne- Well...

Shirley gives her another smack.

Laverne (to Shirley)- Stop that! (to Lauren) Okay, I found this. (holds out the paper)

Lauren goes over and looks at the paper.

Lauren (kinda loud)- How the heck did you find that!?

Laverne- I was walking the couch and I bumped the cushion and it fell on the floor.

Lauren- I don't believe this! All this because I moved to Milwaukee... This is ridiculous!

Lenny (comes down the stairs)- What's with the yelling? I could practically hear ya upstairs.

Lauren (still sorta loud)- Ya wanna know why I'm yellin'?! (grabs the paper from Laverne, goes over to Lenny, and shoves it at him) This is why! (goes up the stairs)

Lenny (looks at the paper)- Oops.

FOUR
outside, on the stoop

Lauren is muttering to herself.

Kristin and Squiggy walk up.

Squiggy (quietly to Kristin)- I think she's flipped.

Kristin (quietly)- Nah, you can tell when she's really flipped when she starts tellin' herself to shut up.

Squiggy- Oh. (pause; to Lauren) What're ya doin'?

Lauren- Huh? Oh, uh, just tryin' to calm down. (pause) Um... Squig, could I talk to ya for a minute?

Kristin- I get it, I'm gone. (goes in the building)

Squiggy- Whassa matter?

Lauren- Promise you won't yell or go and hurt someone?

Squiggy- Yeah, sure.

Lauren whispers something in his ear.

Squiggy- Well, why not?

Lauren- You started all this, remember.

Squiggy- Yeah, but I didn't think they'd make ya get married. How're ya s'poseda see som'en like that comin'?

Lauren- Listen, the point to this was... I'm gonna hate myself for this... (quietly) can you forge Len's signature?

Squiggy- Is that all? Why didn'tcha ask me that in the first place? Ya got the paper?

Lauren- No, Len's got it.

Squiggy- Be right back. (goes in the building)

A few minutes later...

Lenny comes out and sits next to Lauren.

Lenny- Ya still mad?

Lauren- Kinda. I just can't believe that Laverne found that. The worst part is that she found it accidentally.

Lenny- Yeah. (pause; pulls out a piece of paper)

Lauren- What's that?

Lenny gives it to her.

Lauren (looks at the signed paper)- I'm so sorry, but I had to ask Squig to do that.

Lenny- Doesn't matter... besides, he didn't do it, I did.

Lauren (surprised) Really?! Well, uh... why?

Lenny- This whole thing wasn't right to start with. I didn't wanna sign it cuz I thought I might lose ya.

Lauren- There's no way that's gonna happen. Well, now, maybe things can go back to normal...

They look at each other and lean into a kiss.

Suddenly, applause and cheers are heard ffrom the girls apartment.

Lenny- I didn't know we had a cheering section.

Lauren- I didn't either. (pause) How about we check out Inspiration Point?

Lenny- Sure, as long as they don't follow us.