This is my own transcription of Ric Mitchell's interview with David L. Lander (via phone) & I would thank everyone to not "borrow" this. Thanx!

I missed a little of the beginning & a little near the end, but it's cut in the right places:)

October 27, 2000, 8:30am

Ric: The first thing I wanna talk about is you. How are you? I know you, you have MS & I've read the stories in PEOPLE Magazine. How are you?

David: Well, I'm fine, umm, I mean, uh, I mean, yeah, I have MS & I'm as fine as you can be on MS, I'm walking & talking & working &, & laughing & scratching, but, umm, yeah, umm, to answer your question, I'm okay.

Ric: Well, that's good. Now, you got a new book out called "Fall Down Laughing" & what's the subtitle?

David: "Or how Squiggy caught Multiple Sclerosis & Didn't Tell Nobody".

Ric: So why did you tell no one? Were you afraid you would lose jobs or something?

David: Sure. I was afraid I'd lose jobs that I didn't even know I would get. You know, it was basically, uh, when I was diagnosed & this was back in 1984 when there were no drugs you could take to help you. Umm, the doctor basically told me that is was a situation where I would never walk again, a chance I'd lose my memory, umm, my, I wouldn't have my speech, & umm, but I don't need any of those things as an actor, right? So...

Ric: (laughs) Well, atleast you got a sense of humor about it.

David: Yeah, right, then when, after a few days in the hospital, when I was walking, my memory was fine, & I wasn't losing my speech & I, they sent me home & I thought 'okay, well, if the doctor thinks MS means all that, I'm not gonna take any chances that uh, Warner Brothers or Paramount or Universal or any of those places would be any more enlightened, so the best thing is... just keep it quiet, don't tell nobody.' And that's what I chose to do for 15 years, I kept it a secret.

Ric: Yeah...

David: You know, nobody would notice & most of the time I have to say nobody did.

Ric: Well, that's great, that's really great! Umm, now I know you got the book out, is it, uh, selling well, cuz it's gotta be inspirational for alot of people.

David: Uh, yeah, it wason the LA Times Best Seller List a couple of weeks ago, & umm, hopefully it'll be there again. Umm, yeah, I, it, uh, keeps getting a really good reaction & some terrific reviews &, uh, it's a good book especially for people who've been, about 200 people a week get diagnosed with this thing & if they had the same doctor I did, they would think the future looks pretty bleak.

Ric: Yeah.

David: And, umm, maybe if they read this book, they'll realize it isn't that way, &, & maybe people who know those people, umm, might, you know, react to it slightly differently.

Ric: Now, now you're married, you got a full family, don't you?

David: I got, I got a, well, a full family, I have one daughter who's 17.

Ric: Okay, &, & your wife, are you still married?

David: Oh, yeah.

Ric: Okay, & that's good.

David: That's another thing, this disease does have a high divorce rate. Alot of people when they get it, uh, their spouse's liable to say 'well, you're not the person I married.'

Ric: Ughh.

David: 'Which means I have to constantly be feeding you & all these other things?'

Ric: Right.

David: So, I, uh, it really does test your relationship & uh, I was really lucky cuz my relationship took the test & passed. I run into too many people who, unfortunately, don't have as good a luck as I do.

Ric: You know, I see what you're saying. Well, let's wax a little nostalgia, okay? Your days on Laverne & Shirley, first of all, I saw that, did you see that movie Best In Show where Michael McKean played...

David: Yes, I did...

Ric: Where he played the g-

David: Yes, I know all those guys.

Ric: Yeah, where he played the gay guy in the, that was hysterical.

David: Mmm-hmm, yeah.

Ric: He's uh, he's really come a long way. You have good memories of Lenny & Squiggy?

David: Oh, yeah. Well, Lenny & Squiggy were created by me & McKean back in college, we, he grew up in Long Island, I grew up in the Bronx, &, we became best friends when we met each other in Pittsburgh.

Ric: Mmm-hmm.

David: Go figure. But, uh, we went to Carnegie, well, then it was Carnegie Tech, now it's Carnegie Mellon University, we both were drama students & he was doing a guy he knew from Sea Cliff, Long Island, & I was doing a guy I knew from the Bronx & that was how Lenny & Squiggy were basically, came about. We would never do 'em in the drama class, we only did 'em for our own amusement & people would say 'I don't know why you spent so much time working on those two characters, they're just, you know, they may be funny to you, but, I mean, what a waste of time.'

Ric: Yeah.

David: & we agreed with them. Huh, when no way did we, uh, turn around & say 'oh, yeah, someday they're gonna be TV stars' it was basically, they are a waste of time, but they're so much fun.

Ric: Yeah, no, I see what you're saying.

David: So, we were hired a write ourselves into the first show &, the rest as they say is the rest.

Ric: The rest is the rest. You know, we had Cindy Williams & Eddie Mekka roll through town this summer.

David: I know, doing Grease, right?

Ric: They did Grease up at Saratoga, yeah...

Ric: ...Back, uh, in the days of Laverne & SHirley people got along or was it the tension, you know, you hear these stories.

David: Well, there, yeah, uh, what did Cindy say?

Ric: Huh, no we didn't get to talk to her, that was the problem. They wouldn't, no I was just curious cuz sometimes you hear stories.

David: Oh, well, yeah, I think we didn't, I think the main thing that was gonna be wrng with us was that we were right next door to Happy Days which was another Garry Marshall show.

Ric: Right.

David: &, uh, they really were happy, huh. I mean, they, they would whatever was given to them & they would say it & they would rehearse it & they'd go out & do it which is a very professional way to handle it.

Ric: Sure.

David: I think with us, because there was no pilot to our show, & though they called Laverne & Shirley a spin-off, it really wasn't, they were just a guest shot on Happy Days & then, Fred Silverman who ran ABC at the time, said 'why don't you turn them into a show?' so without a pilot, the show started & uh, that's how Lenny & Squiggy got on cuz umm-

Ric: Did they ever consider spinning off Lenny & Squiggy?

David: Yeah, for, uh, um, well, it was a funny thing cuz after the first 5 weeks of the show, they really talked seriously about firing us because as, as Mike Eisner, who now runs Disney, said, 'I would, if they had come up through a pilot system, then they would've been the first two characters I would've cut,' I said 'why', cuz they had never seen them before, heh.

Ric: Yeah, I see what-

David: I mean, in real life, 'no, I mean on television.'

Ric: (laughs)

David: Well, no wonder TV's so inventive, heh.

Ric: Well, David, our thoughts are with you, uh, take care of yourself. "Fall Down Laughing" is the name of the book that's at all the major book stores. David Lander, Squiggy, whatever you wanna call him... you don't object to being called Squiggy, do you, yeah, I think that's great.

David: Well, the one thing about Squiggy is that, it's, uh, a name I invented, you know...

Ric: Oh!

David: It's hard to not, like some writer I never met wrote it.

Ric: Okay.

David: So, that & Lenny & Squiggy are very dear to Michael & I & are still very good friends &, & we still, every so often, we'll do them as they are now, where they're basically two dirty old men.

Ric: Sure, yeah, that would be pretty funny, right there. Well, David, best of luck to you. We'll keep, um, um, good thoughts for you.

David: Awe, thank you.

Ric: You bet, David Lander. ...8:30, at Oldies 98...

End

::shakes out hands:: There ya go! Now, remember, no borrowing, 'k?