Short Story #20
"I Don't Listen To Signs, Not Even Stop Signs!"

A Probably Not Even Close To True Story

Yesterday (Friday, Sept. 17) ABC showed a re-run episode of Boy Meets World in which Topanga's parents (played by Michael McKean and Annette O' Toole) come to visit and help plan Topanga and Cory's wedding.

Since this is a fan fiction story, let's pretend, okay? Okay, let's pretend that at the time of filming, Annette and Michael weren't married, just engaged (I can just hear some people screaming "Thank the lord!" right about now). Let's see how they got the part of Topanga's parents and how an engaged couple can play the parts of a couple on the verge of divorce.


::in the ABC studios, executive "Boy Meets World" producer Michael Jacobs (alright, we need more diversified names here! Too many Michaels!) and the cast of BMW (the show not the car, numnuts) are reviewing the script for this week's episode. It's Monday, about 5 days before the episode is scheduled to be filmed. Just one problem: Topanga has no parents in this show yet! Let's see what's happening.....::

Rider(Shawn): Well how about Topanga's parents.. got in a car accident?
Danielle(Topanga): Are you a moron or something Rider? Topanga's getting married! What kind of a show is it that kills her parents before her wedding?
Ben(Cory): It is a little cruel.
Michael(producer): No one's going to die, alright? We just need two actors who are willing to work on this show on a short notice.

::later that night, Ben goes over to visit his brother Fred (Fred Savage, Kevin Arnold on "Wonder Years"). He tells Fred his predicament::

Fred: Well I don't know of too many people who are gonna work like that. I mean, five days to memorize a script?
Ben: I guess. Then we gotta kill of Topanga's parents.
Fred: ::thinks for a minute then snaps his fingers:: Wait a minute! You know who I met the other day? Ben: Two actors who are willing to work for beans and memorize a script in five days!

::Fred slaps his little brother on the head and rolls his eyes::

Fred: I met this guy, he was on Saturday Night Live a few years back, Michael McKean. Real nice guy, why don't ya give him a call?

Ben: ::slaps him on the head:: You idiot. You think a big time actor like that's gonna work on our show?
Fred: Why not?

::They start planning on how to get Michael McKean on the show in less than five days.::


::A day later, Michael McKean and Michael Jacobs (god knows HOW I'll get through this with two Michaels on the same show in the same script at the same time) are talking in his office::

Michael(J): Well Mr. McKean it's an honor to have you working with us, and I'm sure the cast is too.
Michael(M): I've heard a lot of good stuff about the show, and I've tuned in on more than one occassion, so it seems like a pretty good idea.
Michael(J): But you see, we're also having a slight casting problem. We need someone to play Mrs. Lawrence, Topanga's mother, and we're really in a jam.
Michael(M): I wish I could help you and all, but..... wait a minute. Can I use the phone around here? I think I got someone for you.

::he walks out of the office and down the hall::

::meanwhile, in Matthew's (Jack) dressing room, sorta the meeting room for the younger half of the BMW cast, they're talking about how great it is to have Michael(McKean) on the cast, even if it's just for 2 episodes.::

Danielle: This is going to be so great! My mom loves that show he was on, Laverne and Shirley, even though she thought he was repulsive.
Trina(Angela): Yeah, my dad loved that show. He got me hooked on it when I was little. I really liked him, you know..::sighs:: his greased up hair, those ratty old jeans....

::unknown to her, Michael(McKean and Jacobs) have walked in behind her and are listening to her. Everone else is snickering::

Danielle: Trina...
Trina: Oh, and I bet under that shirt, he had a great body....

::Michael(McKean) looks down at his stomach and puts the muscle man arms (you know, the flexing arms thing)::

Lindsay(Morgan): What more about his body?

::Lindsay, being the second to youngest cast member, loves pulling jokes like this::

Matthew: Hey Trina, why don't you talk about his legs or something?
Trina: You really wanna know what else I think about him? Michael(M): I sure do.

::Trina turns around and sits there with a look of "I wanna crawl under a rock and die" on her face. She falls off the little chair she was sitting on and everyone cracks up about what she was doing before::

Michael(Jacobs): Mike, I want to introduce you to the younger half of the cast. This is Ben, Rider, Matthew, Trina on the floor over there, Danielle, Lindsay, Maitland, and Will. Everyone, from Trina's little show over there, you know Michael McKean.

::everyone murmurs and then looks up::

Rider: Don't judge us by the stupid stuff Trina does.
Trina: I don't do stupid stuff, Rider. Who was the one here who drooled all over the girls in Building G two weeks ago?
Rider: Will, Matt and Ben.

::the three guys in question look up at the ceiling whistling::

Will(Eric): Anyways.... have you cast anyone as Topanga's mom yet?
Michael(M): Actually, we might have someone, my fiance Annette O' Toole.
Danielle: Never heard of her.
Maitland(Rachel): Me either.
Michael(M): Well I guess you will then, she should be here by tomorrow.
Michael(J): Okay, let's go meet everyone else in the cast. ::turns to the kids:: Study the scripts, I don't want too many messups at rehearsal, okay?

::everyone murmurs "yeah, we hear ya" with their own interesting choice of words after that::

::in William's dressing room (Mr. Feeny [yes, it's Feeny, not Feeney as I had thought]), the hang out for the older people in the cast (they're out numbered) everyone's talking about the guest stars, since they all know who both of them are::

Betsy(Mrs. Matthews): I personaly liked him when he was on Laverne and Shirley, and on Saturday Night Live a few years ago as well.
William: Yes, his character was quite....
Russ(Mr. Matthews): Weird?
William: Bingo.
Betsy: Though that woman he's marrying hasn't had much of a carreer, I'll tell you that.

::suddenly they walk in and Russ covers Betsy's mouth::

Russ: Little Joshua hasn't had much of a carreer so far, right?
Michael(J): Well he's very new to the cast. Anyways, I'm sure you all know Michael McKean, he'll be playing Topanga's father on the episode we're filming on Wednesday.

::everyone gets all aquainted and they all sit down to talk and all::


***Shirley Feeney***
a production of Boo Boo Kitty Inc.™
a division of The Milwaukee Group™


Part 2!