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That night Penny is just lying in bed, when all of a sudden she has an inspiration.
P: Lenny? Lenny? Come 'ere. Will ya? ::Thinks for a second, then starts talking to herself:: Listen to me, I'm trying to call a dream!
A cloud of Bosco dust (Someone said it was like a mix) appears and so does Lenny.
L: Yes Laverne?
P: Will you take me to that computer again?
L: You bet… ::says 'Bosco' and they disappear::
In the computer room Penny has signed on to AOL and has gotten a screen name: CPennyM76, and is posting on the message board.
Penny's post:
Subject: Last Episode
Date: November 9, 1999
Time: 12:36 AM
Hey Everybody! I just wanted you guys to know that Cindy and I came up with a new idea for the last episode and we'll be using that one instead of that one you all hate, I think the writer's wanted to call it "The Mummy's Bridge" or something like that. So as of next week that episode, nor any of the episodes without Shirley will exist. Love Ya, Penny aka Laverne
Michelle reads this post and responds to it.
Subject: Re: Last Episode
Date: November 10, 1999
Time: 7:23 AM
Look whoever you are. It's not funny to joke like that with us. You must be new, because everyone else knows that we don't put up with weirdos or scammers or whatever on this board. Everybody knows you're a phony, so please just drop it or we'll all get pretty upset with ya, OK? Get the picture? Good. Have a nice day.
SBerryChica32, LavernShrl, DeFazio76, and almost everyone else respond in the same way. Penny reads these and gets depressed, but figures that she'll show them soon enough.
The next day at the studio
G: OK everybody…let's see if we can run this through with no cut scenes this time. "Moving On" Take 7!
S(entering through front door): Vernie? You here?
L(from bedroom): Yeah…I'm writing letters to some of the gang back in Milwaukee.
S: At least letters are cheaper than all those phone calls you were making!
L(paying no attention): I'm writing one to Fonz right now. And then Terry, and then Rosie, and then…
S(interrupting): Rosie? As in Greenbaum? As in you-shoved-her-fur-stole-in-the-punch-bowl-at-a-shower Rosie?
L: Yep.
S: Why?
L: Well, I felt like I should write a nice letter telling her I miss her and I'm sorry about how we always fought…
S: How noble and selfless!
L: What noble? I'm hoping she'll send me some cash!
S(mumbles to herself): I should have known that was too good to be true. Sometimes Laverne can be such slime…
Lenny and Squiggy enter. They are dressed as seahorses.
Squiggy: Hello!
S: Hello boys. And I know I'll regret asking this, but why are you dressed as undersea creatures?
Ln: This was our idea on how to promote the fish special at Cowboy Bills! Get it? Sea, horse!
S(dryly): Only you could come up with that kind of genius.
Sq: Quiet, my little hubcap, we have places to see and people to…nah that's not right…Um People to sew and…
S: Would you just go?!!!!
Ln: Touchy touchy…they move to California, forget all their old friends…
Sq: Len, we live in California too… (their voices fade out as they walk out the door and down the hall)
Ln: I thought we lived in Burbank…
S(looks at the ceiling): I'm the biggest goody-two shoes in the world why am I punished like that!
Scene 2:
L: Hey Shirl! Ya here? I got a letter back from Fonzie. Want me to read it to you?
S: Sure I guess so.
L: Why are you so sad for?
S: Oh no reason…just Carmine hasn't come by or called in days. It's like he's dropped off the face of the earth or something, or maybe I have.
L: Shirl, when you're depressed you make no sense. Anyway, here's my letter. Ahem:
Dear DeFazio,
How are things in Cal-i-forn-i-a? Old Milwaukee is the same as ever. And Mr. HotShotz's bottlecapping machine mysteriously broke down, so he's out of business. Coolamundo. But that's not really what I was writing to say… Well, Laverne, I was wonderin if-
S: If what? If what? Why'd you stop?
L: H-he he, he asked…if he, I mean if I…
S: Would you spit it out?!
L(whispers "He asked me to marry him" in her ear)
S: Holy moly! Wow! What made him wanna marry you?
L(glares)
S: No, I mean…I always thought Fonz would be single forever ya know?
L: Yeah, I know what you mean. Maybe it says in the letter or something…
Now I know you may be asking yourself: "Why would the most successful of bachelors want to be tied down?" Well, I asked myself that question too. I was feelin bored with my life, I felt like it wasn't ever going anywhere. And so I thought about getting married. Of course every girl in Milwaukee would jump at the opportunity, but I couldn't think of any one that I really cared about. And then Cunningham gave me a little "Huh huh huh" speech and I realized you're the only girl I've ever really loved, Laverne.
L: Isn't that Beau-ti-ful?
S: Sure is. I wish someone would say that to me…
L: Quiet Shirl, there's more to the letter:
And Angelface, I want you to marry me too.
S: Fonzie doesn't call me…Angelface??? That means that…
Just at that moment Carmine does a jump into the room.
C: You know I'd go from rags to riches!!!
L: Carmine?
C: I went to visit some friends in Milwaukee and-
Fonzie enters
S: You mean you two…came back to…::points weakly to herself and Laverne::…us two?
C: Yep!
G: OK everyone! That was great. We shoot Part 2 tomorrow morning!
The night after the big announcement was made Laverne and Shirley are in their bedroom talking.
S: Can you believe it? Us…married!
L: I know! I thought we'd never get hitched…I imagined I was like Old Lady Fletcher down the street…ya know, the one with 17 cats?
S: Oh yes…she came to borrow tuna once…strange woman.
L: Yeah…boy and we finally are gonna get husbands! Me…Laverne Marie Fonzarelli…
S: Shirley Wilhelmina Ragusa…
The girls drift off to sleep…
3:07AM
S: LAVERNE!!!! (Shirley sits bolt upright in bed)
L(sleepily): What?
S: A double wedding!
L: What bedding?
S: No, no, no! We'll have a double wedding!
L(more awake now): That sounds like a pretty good idea, Shirl! Kinda like the time we almost married Richie and ::sigh:: Fonzie…'cept without the gun.
S: Exactly! Oh Vernie, it'll be great!!!
1 Month Later, The day of the wedding. Laverne and Shirley are doing a last minute check…making sure of all the wedding plans-caterers, chapel, dresses, music…and everything is all arranged.
L: Do we have our menu set?
S: Check. Called the church?
L: Yep. Dresses?
S: You did that.
L: Oh yeah…wait a minute! I didn't do that!!!
S(starts whining): What?????? Our wedding is going to be a disaster…we'll never get married…we'll have 34 cats living in this apartment and we're ::slaps Laverne:: Oh! I feel so much better!
L: OK…calm down…we're going to do this…we'll just race down to the the boutique and get some dresses. Remain cool… ::both of them race for the door, knocking over their Beatles thing as they go.
They arrive at a cute little boutique…kinda like the one Laverne was accused of shoplifting in, but no snootface. Oh wait a minute…I think I spot one…
Snootface(coldly): May I help you… ladies?
L(lounges forward like she does at Rosie, but Shirley holds her back)
S(laughs nervously): My friend here is a little testy because it's her wedding day and, well as it turns out it's my wedding day too, but that's beside the point. The problem is we seem to have forgotton one teensy ::holds thumb and pointer finger a centimeter apart:: little detail.
Snootface: Oh?
S: Yes…we seem to have forgotten to arrange for our dresses. Isn't that funny?
Snootface: No. Arrangements must be made at least 2 weeks in advance.
L: Why? You've got a bunch of dresses all over the place. And we have the money right here!
Snootface: Out of the question.
S: Now I wasn't going to resort to this but-::shows her dimples::
Snootface: You are a very strange girl. Out of my shop!
S: But we need-
Snootface: OUT! You…you common trash!
L: I'll give you common trash, buddy! ::rips toupee' off and waves it in his face:: This rat you had on ya head! ::stalks out with Shirley close behind::
In the car…
S: Boy, can you believe that?
L: That snootface is gonna ruin our weddin'…no weddin, no weddin night…no weddin night no-
S: No smut! I don't want to hear about smut! Smut and snootface don't mix!
L: Sorry Shirl.
S: Oh, it's OK Vernie, it's not your fault that our wedding is ruined.
L: Well we could wear something else white…
S: Like what? Our underwear?
L: Sorry…I forgot we don't have white dresses. And I still deserve to wear one too! I have been gypped!
::They walk in the door and find 2 beautiful white wedding gowns laying side by side on their couch.::
S: What in the world-
L: These are just like the ones we were looking at! ::checks tags:: One size 10 and one size 5.
S: But where did they come from?
::Twilight Zone themesong plays::
L: Who cares where they came from! We've got dresses!!
S(checks watch): And we've got exactly one hour to get down to the church!
They race out the door…and to back stage.
Garry: That was great girls. We shoot part 3 tomorrow OK?
Penny: Do you think it was good enough…
Garry: It was great! All kinds of shows end with a wedding!
Cindy: Does that mean that we should have done something more original?
Garry: Actually it's perfect. Anyway, would you gals like to go out to dinner? Everybody from Laverne & Shirley and Happy Days is going. And also those therapists we hired a while back…the ones name after cakes?
Penny: Oh yeah…Crocker and Hines. They sure helped us, huh?
Cindy: Yeah, I guess…but I didn't like how they were dropping things and having Henry, Micheal, and Eddie pick them up…
Penny(smut laugh): Yeah, just like you in "That's Entertainment". ::mimicks:: Nurse, would you pick that up please?
Cindy: It was in the script!
Penny: Don't deny it, you like lookin at Ed's butt!
Cindy(evil grin): Ah, life's simple pleasures…
Everyone is sitting around a table eating dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. All the L&S actors are there, except Eddie who said he'd be there late, so are Ron, Henry, and Garry. Oh, but we can't forget our favorite doctors with their M.S.s in Therapy are there too. (MS stands for Mistresses of Smut)
Penny(eating her spaghetti): Well I think the script is going to be great. Much better than the whole "Shirley marries a bandaged army medic" thing.
They didn't like it anyways.
p>Everyone but Cindy gives her funny looks.
Garry: There's that they again!
Waiter: Here is their table, Mr. Mekka.
Eddie: Thanks. Hey everybody!
Dr. Hines {shoves everyone else over 2 feet (ya know, one of those circular booths) which results in Ron Howard, who is at the end, falling on the floor.}: Sit by me Eddie!
Cindy shoots her a "Drop Dead" look.
Eddie: No thanks Michelle, I gotta sit by Cindy.
Dr. Hines throws…er, drops… her fork on the floor: Would you pick that up for me please?
Ron: Sure…here you go.
Dr. Hines leans under the table and hisses: Not you numnut! Eddie!
Ron(whispers): Oh…sorry. (normal voice) Hey, Ed? Could you get Ms. Hine's fork?
Eddie(bends down): Sure. Here ya go.
Michelle fights back doing the Squiggy hand thing.
After this small smut moment everyone starts making small talk and then realizes it has gotten really late.
Garry: Well you guys better get home now…we have early shooting tomorrow…all of ya, except Ron.
::Author's note: Traitor! j/k, I'm just sad he left::
Penny: Yeah, Gar's right, we'd better get goin.
Everyone leaves and throws an autographed picture on the table as the waiter's tip.
Part 3!
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