------------------------------------------

Ralph sat in a lawn chair in the backyard of his and Pam’s house. He flexed his right hand, trying to get rid of the stiffness. It had been several weeks since it’d been broken... and it was also the same amount of time since he’d last encountered Mona.

Ralph felt a chill on his neck and shuddered, turning to look behind him. He laughed when he realized that the wind had simply picked up a little.

"Kid? Where are ya, Ralph?"

Ralph didn’t even turn around. "In the backyard, Bill!" he called out.

The FBI agent came out the back door, dressed in his usual gray three-piece.

"What’s up, Bill?" Ralph asked, craning his neck to look back. He watched Bill cross the yard and stop by his side.

"Thought you might wanna get some lunch."

"You’ve got a scenario you want to talk over, don’t you?" Ralph said, subconsciously flexing his hand.

"Yeah, I do. You wearin’ the suit already?" Bill said.

"No, that’s just how well I know you."

Bill glanced down and saw the younger man flexing his hand. "How’s the hand feeling?"

Ralph looked down and noticed what he was doing. Again. "It’s a little sore. I really did a number on it." He gave a slight smirk. "As if my handwriting wasn’t bad enough before."

"Sense of humor: intact," Bill commented. "Come on, kid, lets go grab a bite to eat."

Ralph nodded and paused a moment before getting up. "Hang on a minute, Bill. I’m going to put the suit on." Bill turned a look to him. He shrugged. "I’ve just got a weird feeling..."

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The room was lit by a single, dim light bulb. A dark figured walked around what looked like a large box set in the middle of the room. The figure lifted a hand and the box stood up by itself on one end.

The figure nodded, then disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

------------------------------------------

Bill and Ralph exited the diner and headed for the parking lot.

"So, she’s really around again?" Bill asked, quietly.

Ralph nodded. "Unfortunately. The black spot came back and she’d said that would be how I’d know she’s coming to try for me again. Last time, she showed up almost immediately, so she could be around here anywhere."

"That’s just wonderful," Bill commented.

They began to cross an aisle to get back to the beige Diplomat, when a black undescript car came barreling toward them.

"BILL!" Ralph yelled. He moved, shoving the agent out of the way.

Bill stumbled between two parked cars and heard a thump. He righted himself and saw the car was gone. Then he saw Ralph laying motionless on the ground. "Oh, come on. Kid, you have the jammies on..." He moved over to Ralph, quickly, and knelt by him.

Bill did a double-take looking at Ralph. The younger man was unscathed, but unconscious nevertheless. Bill checked Ralph’s vitals, finding breathing and heartbeat normal. Moving his hands away, Bill noticed that Ralph was now glowing. "...I hate this..." Then he noticed his hands were glowing... along with the rest of him. "Awe, no..."

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Bill shook his head and looked around. He sat on the floor of a mostly barren room. The only thing he saw was a large box in the middle of the room.

A groan caused Bill to turned to his right. He saw Ralph flex his right hand again, before opening his eyes. "...Did you get the number of that truck...?" he asked, muzzily.

"Not a truck, kid. A black car. Knocked you out," Bill answered. "But, uh, Ralph, do you know where we are?"

Ralph lifted his head and looked around the room. "Uhh..." Then his eyes widened. "Oh no."

"What?"

"Bill... we’re in hell."

Bill stood, then help Ralph up. "Whadaya mean, we’re in hell?"

"I mean exactly what I said, Bill. Mona must be close..."

"How very perceptive." Mona appeared in black smoke, standing by the large box. "Welcome to my home."

"Lady, you’ve got some explaining to do," Bill said.

"Bill," Ralph hissed.

"What would you like me to explain, William?" Mona asked.

Bill gave Ralph a look. The younger man shrugged. "Lets try this, then," Bill said. "What happened with that car that hit Ralph?"

Mona smiled. "Dear Ralph..." Ralph rolled his eyes. She continued, "That interesting red suit kept him unscathed. However, since it does not protect his head, he was knocked unconscious when his head hit the ground, thus allowing me an opportunity to bring both of you here."

"Lucky us," Bill commented. "So, what’s the plan, sweetheart? String us up by our thumbs, strap us to the racks..."

Ralph ran a hand over his face, shaking his head.

"First, I will explain one other thing as dear Ralph has already found out. Here, his red suit does not work the same way," Mona said. Ralph folded his arms, glaring at her. "As such, it is my intent to keep him in the suit while he is here."

"And there I thought you wanted him out of the suit!" Bill argued, causing Ralph to glare at him.

"Hm." Mona smiled. She walked around to the far end of the large box.

"What is that?" Ralph asked.

Mona raised the lid, its hinges creaking as it moved. "You will see." She let the lid go, leaving it wide open. "This is the perfect length."

Ralph and Bill exchanged looks, then turned back in time to see Mona moving closer to them. Ralph put an arm in front of Bill. "Stay away from him," Ralph warned.

"It is not he whom I wish for." Mona held a hand up.

"Look out, kid, I think she’s gonna put a hex on you or something," Bill said.

Ralph took a step forward... and froze. The only part of him still moving were his eyes.

"Hey, I was kidding about the hex thing!" Bill complained.

Mona pointed at Ralph, then moved her finger toward the box. Ralph began walking toward it. He stopped next to it, then stepped in. Mona lowered her hand and Ralph laid down on it. As she had said, it was the perfect length for his height.

"What is this, some kinda twisted magic trick?" Bill asked. He watched her close the lid, then lock it. "Okay, fun’s over. Let him out. Now."

Mona snapped her fingers, making a book of matches appear. Bill’s eyes widened. She pulled one out and struck it on the book, lighting it.

"You wouldn’t," Bill said.

Mona held the lit match over the box... then dropped it. The fire spread quickly over the top of the box.

"I don’t believe it..." Bill said, shocked. All he could do was stare at the flames.

Mona walked over to Bill and waved a hand over his eyes, causing him to sag into her arms. She set him down on the floor, then turned back to the box.

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Bill opened his eyes and found himself on the floor once again. He immediately looked to where the box was and found it gone. "Oh no..."

A creaking caught Bill’s attention and he turned to a door that was opening, apparently by itself. He stood and cautiously went through it. This room contained a table, with a white sheet draped over a form. Bill fought against wanting to run over and rip the sheet off the table, but instead took his time. Carefully, he glanced around the room as he crossed. He stopped next to the table and grabbed an edge of the sheet.

Bill lifted the sheet slowly and peeked under. He was met with curly blond hair. He pulled the sheet back, uncovering Ralph’s face. The younger man still looked unscathed, despite this time being in a burning box. Now, Bill pulled the sheet off altogether. Ralph still wore the suit and had no markings on him at all.

Bill moved back, away from the table, feeling that something wasn’t right. He noticed an upright cabinet against the far wall and went over to it. He tried the handle, but found it locked. Bill found a mallet on the counter running along the wall and used it on the handle. The broken handle clattered to the floor and both doors of the cabinet swung open, revealing Ralph tied up inside.

Ralph grumbled something into the gag as Bill reached for it, then pulled it off. "Thanks, Bill." He turned so Bill could untie his hands. Stepping out of the cabinet, he flexed his right hand again and caught sight of the ‘other Ralph’ on the table. "Uh... Bill?"

They both walked back over to the table. "How’d I find you in the cabinet?" Bill asked, voicing the question of the feeling he had.

"Hm," Ralph began, looking over his ‘counterpart.’ Then he noticed it. "I know. There’s no black spot."

Bill frowned, turning back to Ralph. "How did you get out of that flaming box of death?"

Ralph blinked. "The what?!"

Bill sighed. "Devil woman made you get into a large box, then set it on fire. After that, she knocked me out. Don’t know what happened. How’d you get out?"

"Bill, the last thing I remember is telling Mona to stay away from you, until waking up in the cabinet," Ralph explained.

Suddenly, Ralph’s double on the table reached out and gripped Ralph’s right hand tightly.

"Hey!?" Ralph exclaimed, trying to pull his hand from the grip. Bill started trying to pry the fingers from his hand. The grip remained tight.

"C’mon, let go," Bill said, prying with all his might.

Meanwhile, Ralph was basically being forced to the ground. He was on his knees, when his double finally sat up, still keeping the grip.

Bill turned to the double. "Why don’t ya go back to your nap?"

The double used his free hand to slap Bill, knocking him into the wall, then clamped his other hand onto Ralph’s as Bill righted himself.

"No, ahhh, let go!" Ralph yelled, pain clearly etched across his face now.

Bill picked up the mallet he’d used on the cabinet and gripped it tightly. He knew what he had to do. He walked up behind the double, took aim, closed his eyes, and swung the mallet down, striking the double in the back of the head.

Bill opened his eyes and found Ralph still kneeling on the floor, cradling his hand. The double was gone. "Kid, you okay?" Bill asked.

Ralph shook his head. "No..." He tried flexing the hand and cried out, instead.

Bill grabbed the white sheet and a pair of scissors, then went back to Ralph. "Here, wrap it with this." He cut a strip off the sheet and began wrapping it around Ralph’s hand.

"Gotta get out of here," Ralph muttered through gritted teeth, watching his hand get wrapped.

"Yeah, kid." Bill went back over to the counters and rummaged through a couple drawers, then came back with a few safety pins. He knelt next to him and tacked the loose end of the wrap, then glanced at Ralph, who was looking a bit pale now. "How do we do that, Ralph?" The younger man ran his good hand through his hair. Bill frowned. "I really hate it when you do that."

Ralph shook his head. "I only know of one way to leave. Last time, I told Mona to send me home."

"That does not make me feel better," Bill said, then sighed. "So we find her."

"Yeah," Ralph said, then let Bill help him up. They left the room and started down a hallway.

"Ralph, I got a question. That dame said that wearin’ the suit here is pretty much the opposite, so you’d have its powers without it on, right?" Bill asked.

Ralph nodded. "Yes. That’s part of how I got out of here last time."

"So can’tcha take the jammies off again now?" Bill asked, as though it was the most obvious idea ever.

Ralph didn’t voice a response, instead he used his good hand to undo the suit’s belt first... but found it wouldn’t come off. "Bill... I can’t get the belt off."

"Well, maybe it’s just stuck. You’re workin’ with one hand anyway," Bill said, folding his arms.

"Just don’t offer to help," Ralph muttered, tugging at the belt again. He made a face, "Dammit!"

Bill made his usual aggravated noise. "Maybe we’ll have better luck playing ‘Lets Make A Deal’."

They continued down the hall until Ralph stopped suddenly. "Hold on, Bill..."

"What is it, kid?"

A few moments passed... then the floor began to tilt until it slid both of them into one of the rooms. Both hit the back wall of the room and everything leveled off once again, and the door to the room closed.

"I’d ask what that was, but considering what we’ve been through already, there’s no need," Bill said, then watched as Ralph knelt down and placed his left hand on the floor, feeling around. "Looking for a trap door, Ralph?"

"Wondering if we’re going to be human popsicles or sauteed first..." Ralph commented.

Before Bill could reply, a low, steady hum began to sound in the room. He looked around for a speaker as Ralph stood again and followed suit. The volume of the hum was now beginning to increase. The hum was also becoming distorted, sounding more like noisy feedback. Bill put his hands over his ears. He glanced at Ralph, who had one covered, but couldn’t do the same for the other ear because of his hand.

The sound changed pitch and became more piercing, causing Bill to wince, even with both ears covered. Ralph fell back against one wall, beginning to slump. He slid down the wall until he was seated on the floor, head back against the wall, looking dazed, but still conscious.

Then suddenly, the noise stopped. Bill warily took his hands away from his ears, then went to check on Ralph. As he neared, Ralph moved his head off the wall and gave it a shake.

"You okay, Ralph?" Bill asked, but didn’t wait for a response. "This is ridiculous. I wonder if the little green guys had this in mind when they gave us the jammies for you to wear."

Ralph gave him a questioning look. Bill continued his tirade, but Ralph wasn’t listening. All he could hear was a ringing in his ears. He knew Bill was speaking because he could see his mouth moving, but couldn’t hear the words. Ralph looked up and saw Bill staring down at him. He went to respond, but found he couldn’t hear himself...

"What was that, Ralph? I didn’t hear that," Bill said.

‘What?’ Ralph mouthed.

"What’sa matter with you, kid? Cat got your tongue?" Bill asked, and Ralph returned the confused look again. Bill sighed. "No voice?"

Ralph’s eyes widened slightly, understanding that, then gave a thoughtful look. He shook his head, then shrugged.

"What’s that supposed to mean?!" Bill said, becoming frustrated.

Ralph pointed to his left ear, then shook his head.

Bill paused, realization hitting him. "You can’t hear me, can you, Ralph?" Receiving the confused look again, he sighed. "Not a lip reader, either, huh." He helped Ralph get up and watched the younger man try to say something. "You can’t understand what I’m saying?"

Ralph frowned. He could pick out a word or two here and there, but couldn’t get the gist of what Bill was trying to say.

Suddenly, the black smoke appeared, revealing Mona, who was smirking.

"You again," Bill said. She was really getting on his nerves. He pointed at Ralph. "Give the kid his hearing back and let us out of here!"

"But I am not yet finished with you," Mona said, folding her arms.

"You wanna make a bet?" Bill said, pushing his sleeves up.

Ralph’s eyes widened at the motion Bill made. Bill moved to swing at her, but she disappeared, then reappeared farther away. She held a hand out and made a black ball of light appear in the palm, then sent it flying at Bill. Reflex made Bill put his arms up over his head, much like Ralph did when being shot at, but Bill never felt any impact. He lowered his arms and saw Ralph in front of him, arms out in front of him in a stop motion. Mona was now gone, Bill noticed as he walked around Ralph.

Ralph didn’t move, didn’t even blink. He just stared straight ahead.

"Kid? Ralph, blink if you’re conscious in any way," Bill said. Receiving no response, he waved a hand in front of the blond’s eyes. Still nothing, Bill groaned. "Great, you became a human statue and I gotta deal with the devil dame! Thanks alot, Ralph!"

------------------------------------------

Several minutes passed and Bill glanced up from where he sat against the wall again. As he thought, Ralph still remained in the same position, as still as a statue.

"Kid, why couldn't you just let me take the hit for a change? That's how you got in trouble before, remember? Those goons were shooting at us and you got in front of me and took the bullet. Then those little green guys drove us around in that overgrown hotdog wagon. You gotta stop doin' these things, Ralph. I'm an FBI agent, I can handle it." Bill paused, then sighed. "This stinks."

After a few moments, Ralph's right hand dropped just enough to be noticeable. Bill watched intently, waiting for another movement, or to find out he was seeing things. Ralph's hand moved again, moving closer to his chest. Then he doubled over, protecting the still injured hand.

"Kid, you're back!" Bill said, as he got up again. He went over and helped Ralph straighten, then moved him over to sit against the wall.

Ralph got situated against the wall and against noticed Bill's mouth moving, but he could still only hear the ringing. He was getting irritated by it, to say the least. Suddenly, Bill's hand moved too close by his face and Ralph grabbed Bill's wrist with his left hand. Ralph's eyes narrowed, then he frowned and let Bill's wrist go.

'Sorry,' Ralph mouthed.

Bill nodded his acceptance, rubbing at his wrist. "Me, too, kid." He paused, then said, slowly, "So, now what?"

Ralph shrugged. He was annoyed and his hand was throbbing. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Then he mouthed, 'You try something. I've had enough.'

Bill glared at Ralph even though he couldn't see it since his eyes were closed. He was about to say something, but realized Ralph wouldn't even know it, so why waste his breath.

They had to get out of there and soon. Ralph was already looking like he was ready to give up. Bill, on the other hand, was not. Matter of fact, he was no where even remotely close to giving up.

Bill began to check out the walls, looking for anything he could "use." After almost searching one full wall, he found a false panel which hid a handle. He turned the handle and immediately heard a creaking sound. Smoke began entering the room.

The smoke had a sweet smell, Bill noticed. Ralph opened his eyes and sniffed the air. He made a face and stood, then went over to Bill. They watched the smoke as it enveloped them. Both had a sense of vertigo, the felt like they were falling.

They landed in a grassy field. It was bright and sunny.

Bill sat up. "Well, this doesn't look like Hell to me."

Ralph lifted his head and pulled the cape back so he could see. "Where are we?" he asked, muzzily.

"Kid! Can ya hear me?"

Ralph blinked, then realized. "Yeah, Bill, just fine. Man... what happened?"

"Maybe that was the release handle I found..." Bill said, then stood. "Wonder if we're back on earth."

"If we are, I have no idea where we are," Ralph said, then shook his head. "I don't know, Bill. It couldn't be that easy."

"Try the suit out."

"I'll try flying. That won't hurt any more than the landings do." Ralph then took three running steps and jumped... the landed face down on the grass. "Ow..."

"Guess that's our answer. Must still be in Hell," Bill surmised.

"Damn," Ralph cursed, then got up. "I wonder what this place is, then."

"This is my back yard." Mona appeared in a puff of black smoke.

"I've had just about enough of you," Bill said, starting towards her.

"Bill!" Ralph called out.

Bill turned and found two men dressed in black, each holding on of Ralph's arms. He struggled, but, thanks to the reverse effect of the suit, to no avail.

Mona appeared next to Bill. "Watch."

The men dragged Ralph over to a platform and laid him on it. The platform sat atop metal legs and seemed to turn a bit while they began to strap Ralph down. He cried out when one of the men forced his right hand against the platform to get the strap around his wrist.

Bill tried to dart out to help Ralph, but he ran smack into something unseen and fell backwards onto the grass. "What the...?"

"Invisible wall," Mona answered.

Bill sat up, propped on his arms. He watched the two men step away from the platform, having strapped down Ralph's legs, also. They stopped at a small podium. One of them put a hand on a joystick type object and pulled it towards him.

Bill's eyes widened as he watched the platform begin to spin, picking up speed every revolution. He could hear Ralph yell out, at first calling for him and eventually becoming screams.

Bill got up and turned to face Mona, but found her gone. He tried moving ahead and found the wall gone. He ran to the podium as the two men disappeared. He pushed the joystick forward and watched the platform begin to slow. Once it had slowed considerably, Bill went over and stopped its motion himself.

Bill shook one of Ralph's shoulders. "Ralph, kid, can ya hear me? Groan or something if you can." He received no response and checked the younger man's vitals. Breathing and pulse were only a little more rapid than normal, which seemed odd considering what Ralph had just gone through, though Bill was thankful at any rate. He checked Ralph's eyes, but only saw the whites, meaning Ralph had passed out. Bill undid the straps, being careful of Ralph's right hand.

He picked up Ralph, one arm under his knees, the other under his underarms. Bill walked away from the platform, not really caring about the direction.

After around forty feet, Bill stopped. "Hey, devil woman! Listen, you want Ralph so badly, why don't you come here and take him from me!"

Within seconds, there was a familiar poof of black smoke. Mona smirked, arms folded. "How very interesting. You gave up quicker than I anticipated."

"I didn't say I gave up. Pardon the expression, but you've put this kid through Hell, and for what? Because you want him? So how come you don't just take him? Or maybe you can't..."

Mona made a face. "What are you talking about?"

"I'd be willing to bet that he's too good for you to take him, that's why you're messing with him, hoping he'll crack. Well, sorry, but you're dead wrong! I know Ralph too well. He will not crack. Ever!"

Mona cried out as black smoke encircled her. At the same time, a white smoke enveloped Bill and Ralph...

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Ralph flinched as he thought he felt rain drops falling on his face. His eyes blinked open and he saw the ceiling of his living room.

"How do you feel, hon?"

He turned his head and saw Pam sitting next to him. "Better. What happened?" He saw Pam look to her right and he saw Bill enter from the dining room.

"We made it back, kid," Bill replied.

Ralph sighed, then gave a small smile. "In one piece."

-End-