Then There Was Two

     The boys are hanging a sign that says "Mahoney Renovations".
     "Oh, Chief, which one of these screwdrivers is a Philips?" Sach asked, holding up five of them.
     "It's the one that ain't like you: It don't have a flat head," Slip replied, then turned back to the others.
     Sach put the screwdrivers down and stuck his tongue out at Slip while his back was turned, then handed off a screwdriver. "Here, Whitey."
     "Looks good, guys," Slip commented.
     "Slip, you really think people'll ire us to renovate their houses?" Chuck asked.
     "'Course I do," Slip replied.
     "Cuz we work for cheap," Sach interrupted, and received a belting from Slip and his hat. "Oop, not cheap enough, I guess."
     "I oughtta..." Slip said, pulling back to hit Sach again, when the phone rang.
     "I think we got a customer!" Bobby said.
     Slip picked up the receiver. "Hello, Mahoney Renovations. This is Mahoney 'imself. Yes. Hmmmm...? Oh, right away." He hung up the receiver. "Pack the tools, boys, we got our foist job!"

     "Well, we're here," Bobby announced, stopping the jalopy.
     "Great, but where's here?" Whitey asked.
     "Ramsdale House, 134 Hillside Road. Yup, we're here," Slip said. "Grap the equipment and follow me."
     "What else?" Sach said, following suit, but instead fell out of the jalopy and into Slip.
     "Watch it or else *you'll* need renovatin'," Slip said.
     "Sorry, Chief," Sach said, then turned back to the jalopy and helped Whitey. "Out of the car, Whitey."
     "This place is pretty creepy lookin'," Chuck commented.
     "Kinda like it's address?" Bobby added.
     "Nah, it just looks that way at night," Slip said.
     Everyone, except Slip, picked up some of the tools, and followed him through the yard.
     "I don't like the looka this place," Sach said.
     "It prob'ly don't like the look of you neither, but it's still here, now c'mon and let's go inside," Slip said. He went up on the porch. "No doorbell, guess I'll knock, then." He knocked. No answer. He tried again. Still no answer.
     "M-maybe the ghosts are hard of hearin'," Whitey said.
     Slip pounded on the door.
     Bobby reached around Slip and tried the doorknob. The door creaked open. "It was open all the time."
     "I knew that. I was just testin' ya," Slip covered.
     The group piled into the dark house and looked around. The door creaked shut behind them.
     "Who did that?" Sach asked.
     "Prob'ly just the wind," Slip said, searching for a light switch. "If I can find a switch, we can shed some allumination on this subject." He found a swtich, flipped it, and the lights cam on. "See? Nice an' bright an' cheery. Nutin' to be afraid of. Now, put that stuff down and get ta woik."
     "What're you gonna do?" Sach asked.
     "I'm gonna start the tab for this job," Slip replied, then took a seat on the couch.
     "Lazy," Sach commented, then left to join the others.
     "There's somethin' weird about this place," Chuck commented.
     "Very weird," Whitey agreed.
     "Oh you guys're just tryin' to get outta workin'," Sach said.
     "And you wanna work?" Bobby asked.
     "'Course not," Sach said, "but Slip over there ain't gonna let us leave until we do somethin' to improve the looksa this place."
     "Never thought I'd say it, but he's got a point," Bobby said.
     "Sure I do! Now, let's figure out how to improve this place," Sach said.
     "Maybe dust first an' see if it gets rida some of the creepiness," Chuck said..
     "I'm with you," Whitey agreed.
     "Will ya quick yackin' over there an' get to woik?" Slip called out.
     "Yappety, yappety, yappety," Sach said, then pulled a feather duster out of his jacket.
     The others grabbed more dusters and began to dust.
     "This ain't dust, it's layers of dirt on everythin'," Bobby complained.
     Whitey began sneezing.
     Slip rolled his eyes. "Shoulda brought some ear plugs."
     "Fellas, I gotta get some water, I"ll be right back," Whitey said, then went towards the kitchen.
     The others continued dusting. Several minutes passed, but Whitey didn't come back.
     "What's takin' him so long to get some water?" Chuck asked.
     Slip stood up from his spot on the couch. "I'll go receive 'im an' find out if there's food in this place."
     "Oh, good, cuz I'm gettin' hungry," Sach said.
     "You're always hungry," Slip said, then went towards the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway. "Whitey?" He turned back to the others. "Ya sure he came in here?"
     "Yeah, he was gonna get some water," Bobby said.
     "Well, he ain't in there now. Prob'ly escaped out a window," Slip said.
     "Ooh, that Whitey! Wait'll I get my hands on 'im...!" Sach said.
     "No, wait'll *I* get my hands on 'im. Then I'll get my hands on you... sooner if ya don't shuddup!" Slip said, then went back to his perch on the couch.
     "Com'on, Sach, better give us a hand an' let Slip cool down," Bobby said.
     "I wonder if Whitey really snuck outta here," Chuck said.
     "Sure he did," Sach said, then added, "that boy gets scared by his own shadow!"
     Bobby and Chuck exchanged looks, then shook their heads, going back to work.
     "Well, he does," Sach said, poutted, then went back to dusting.

     "Now, doesn't that look betta," Slip said. "See what a little dustin' can do."
     "We can see it," Chuck said, brushing himself off.
     "Go outside an' do that! You're makin' the dirt spread in 'ere again," Slip said.
     Chuck went outside. A few minutes passed, but he didn't come back in.
     "It couldn't take that long to clean off, could it?" Bobby said, unsure.
     "I don't know, we'll go check on 'im ta make ya feel betta," Slip said.
     The three went to the front door and looked out.
     "No, Chuck. There ain't even any dirt on the porch," Sach said.
     "This is startin' to get irrigatin'," Slip said. "Foist, Whitey leaves, now Chuck."
     "I'm startin' to wonder if they're not disppearin' cuz they want to," Bobby said.
     "You two are suspicious! Just because this place is prob'ly haunted..." Sach said, then realized what he said. "Haunted!?"
     "Haunted, he says!" Slip said, then laughed. "That's a good one!"
     "He might be right, though, Chief," Bobby said, uneasily.
     "Oh, not you, too," Slip said. "C'mon, Bobby, keep a parallel head about the situation."
     "I'm tryin', Slip, but this place could really be haunted," Bobby said.
     "See? He agrees with me, Chief. So there!" Sach said, then put his arm around Bobby's shoulders. Bobby removed his arm.
     "Fine, fine. You two go ahead an' be scared. Ya know, we still have a job ta do, inspite of havin' two walk out on us. Guess, now I'll have ta do it all myself..." Slip said.
     "Uh, yeah, maybe if we work, we can keep ours minds off this creep show house," Bobby said.
     "I left my mind at Louie's for safe keepin', so I'll stay scared," Sach said.
     "Well, then brainless, go stand in a corner or som'en an' stay outta our way so we can woik," Slip said.
     Sach poutted, then walked over to a corner of the room and stayed there. He leaned against the wall and folded his arms. The wall spun around and he disappeared.
     "Hey, Slip, how can you be so sure this place ain't haunted? I mean, it could be, it ain't impossible," Bobby said.
     "I'm just tryin' to keep moraley up for the idiot's sake. I am gettin' the necklace of an idea that you could be right, thought," Slip said.
     "I guess we just have to stick together, then," Bobby said. He glanced over to where Sach had been standing. "Slip!"
     "Now, what're ya gettin' excited about?" Slip asked. "I'm tryin' to keep ya calm 'ere..."
     "But, Slip, look!" Bobby said, pointing behind him. "Sach is gone!"
     "Awe, now, you're havin' hallukinations. Sach wouldn't leave us 'ere..." Slip said, then turned. "I don't believe it."
     "*Now* is this place haunted?" Bobby asked.
     "Now... oh, boy," Slip said. "This ain't good."