Everyone ready to raid the fashion show? ;)

Valerie: I haven't been to one of these things in years.

Emma: Sure, why not?

Daphne: I am!

Lauren: Ready!

(We open backstage at the Fashion Show. Young women bustle around in the latest in 1974 style. Some wear low-cut, heavily beaded Bob Mackie-style gowns. Others wear ruffled, peasant-style dresses and blouses. A few others wear bright-colored pantsuits and business wear. A group chattering in one corner wear swimsuits and bikinis.)

Emma: (Peers in) Ok ladies, the coast is clear. (She waves her arms towards the backstage area) Let's go.

(The Abbies file in. Jenny wears a romantic, high-collared lace gown. Maxine wears a chic white pantsuit. Kimberly sports a green and yellow striped bikini with a matching wrap.)

Kimberly: Come on, Daph! They're gonna be starting any minute!

Daphne: I'm coming! *wears a dark blue sleeveless dress*

Woman Guard (Frowns): Aren't you ladies a bit late?

Emma: (She whips out a card) Press pass. I'm here to cover the show. They got caught in traffic.

Woman Guard: Well, get a move on! They're just getting in line!

Emma: Yes ma'am. (She leads the others away) Ok guys, we're going to need to stop the show somehow and prove that this is some really potent stuff.

Maxine: (Grins) We could do what we did at the guys' concert in Canada. (Grins) We're experts at sabotage by now.

Emma: Good. You guys do your stuff on the runway. I'll join Val in the crowds and spread the word. Lauren and the Angellettes should be down there by now. They radioed me while you guys were getting dressed and told me they found Honeywell. He's a bit worse for the wear, but he's with them, and they're all dressed as security guards and will do their best to keep the real security guards from catching on.

("Calico Girlfriend" begins as the first group of women take the runway. Blossom announces their outfits over the music.)

Blossom: Here's Darla, in a delectable peach silk gown reminiscent of the romantic dresses worn by women in the late Victorian era...oh! (A hand reaches out and grabs Darla's hat; she chases after it, running into the next woman as she hurries offstage)

(The next girl gets her skirt torn off, revealing a lacy petticoat and white stockings. She runs off-stage after Darla.)

(Jenny shyly shows off her gown, even curtsying to the crowd. She prefers making clothes to showing them off.)

(Emma stands in the crowd. She's supposedly taking notes, but what she's really doing is eyeing the table of Fountain of Youth Skin Care cosmetics on tables surrounding the Fashion Show area.)

Blossom: And next we have... (Her eyes widen as wide-chested blond man in nothing but a tight bathing suit walks out on stage with the women. There's hoots, whistles, and wolf calls from the audience and the women on and backstage. Maxine pats the man's shoulder when he finally comes off.)

Maxine: Thanks, bro. I owe you dinner.

Maxine's Brother: Anything for my baby sis while I'm in town.

(Emma gestures to Valerie as the crowd watches the show. She and Valerie pull jars that look just like the jars of cream out of their purses. They replace the creams on the table with the ones from their purses.)

*Daphne comes out and twirls in her blue dress.*

Blossom: Ahh, and this is a simple, yet elegant creation by Blanc deRouge, one of my favorite designers. He favors flowing, natural designs intended to enhance the wearer's inherent beauty.

*The next girl comes out and is immediately tripped by Daphne. Daph turns away, looking around innocently.*

(Maxine is next. She shows off her pantsuit with flair, swinging around and tossing her hair. She drop something on the catwalk as she leaves. The next woman, in a pink pantsuit, comes in after her, steps on what Maxine dropped...and is sprayed with dark blue ink!)

(Next, we have a group of all the women in swimsuits. They surround Kimberly in her bikini. Kimberly, delighted by all the hoots, whistles, and applause, walks right off the stage and dives into the nearest pond to show the suit off even better!)

Blossom: And...um...that was the Diana Holliday Swimsuit Collection. (Puts a hand over her microphone and says to the woman guard we saw earlier) Go see if that model's ok. Then find out what the HELL is going on!

(Emma hurries backstage as the song comes to an end and the bathing suit models finish. She grins at the beaming Abbies.)

Emma: You guys did a great job! (She grins even more) How would you like to play a concert? That would REALLY get the crowd's attention.

Daphne: You have to ask?

Barbara Marion: (Joins the others) Hello, ladies. I must admit, that was the most interesting fashion show I've ever seen. Also the first fashion show I've ever seen, but I can't imagine Yves Saint Montand can do better.

Emma: Did you replace the sticks of cream, Mrs. Marion?

Barbara: Yes, I did. The ladies in security uniforms replaced the other items and gave that poor Inspector Honeywell some of Dr. Desmond's reversal cream. It seems to have done its job. He looks much better now.

Emma: Now we just have to get Blossom to use it.

Barbara: I normally wouldn't condone this, but I think what this woman is doing is absolutely ridiculous. Life is full of wonder, from the beginning and the end. A few extra wrinkles give a person personality, not a reason to panic.

Emma: Mrs. Marion, why don't you get our security force and get Blossom up here? We'll do the rest.

Barbara: Consider it done, Mrs. Nesmith. (She heads off to find Lauren and the others)

Valerie: (Joins them) I've been working on spreading gossip. Those other reporters will have LOTS of questions to ask when Blossom gets onstage.

Kimberly: (Pushes back her wet, slightly mucky hair and points to the stage) And there she goes now!

Blossom: (The man we saw earlier brings out her microphone) Thank you, Thomas. (Several stagehands bring a table full of products onstage) I'm glad to see all of you here today. Most of you know why we're here. Moonglow Cosmetics is going to launch their newest skin care line, Fountain of Youth Skin Creams and Covers! (Applause; after it dies down, she continues) These miraculous little jars of creams and sticks will make winkles melt away in an instant and time seem like almost nothing. You'll be a totally new person. Our slogan "Youth can last forever, if you use Fountain of Youth Skin Care." (More applause)

Reporter #1: (As jostling is heard backstage) Miss Lilyfair, are there any side effects to this miraculous cream of yours?

Blossom: Oh, your skin will feel slightly itchy for a few minutes, but nothing harmful.

Reporter #2: (Valerie whispers to him; he waves his hand) What about the special ingredient? Where did you find it?

Blossom: Oh, it's a very unusual plant an old friend of my late father and founder of Moonglow Cosmetics discovered in the jungles of the Amazon. It's what removes those wrinkles in an instant!

Emma: (She waves her hand) What about the missing workers?

Blossom: (Her smile now looks plastered on) I gave them vacations.

Emma: That's not what I heard.

Reporter #3: I heard that the plant actually dries out your skin instead of nourishing it.

Blossom: It does dry it out a little...

Emma: So you admit, it's not foolproof?

Blossom: Of course it is! I use it myself!

Emma: How much do you use every day? You must use a lot to look the way you do.

Blossom: Oh...five jars...maybe ten...or so. Give or take a few.

Reporter #5: You really need that much to look the way you do?

Blossom: Not really. I could stop using it any time I wanted!

Emma: Why don't you?

Blossom: I like what it does to my skin.

Emma: I thought it made your skin itch.

Blossom: Um... (she returns to the microphone) Someone else? More questions? Don't you want to know about the size of the jars? They come in 4 oz, 6 oz, and 8 oz jars, and (pulls out one of the sticks) in this handy-dandy stick form!

Emma: If it makes your skin dry, why use it?

Blossom: Next question! Next... (But her microphone cuts off there. Barbara Marion takes the stage)

Barbara: Hello, folks! We're going to present a concert to you. How'd ya like that? Free entertainment by two of the best bands in the city!

Blossom: (Mutters) What are you doing here, old woman?

Barbara: Showing a young woman new tricks. (She spreads her arm out) I give you the Abbies and the Angelettes!

(And the curtain opens to reveal the Abbies ready to play. The Angellettes stand in front and give us their girl-group rendition of "Don't Listen to Linda." Blossom takes off, trying to hide in the crowd. Barbara takes off after her - she's joined by Lauren and Honeywell.)

*Lauren dives for Blossom, tackling her. Lauren drags her back to the stage.*

Blossom: (Over the music) What ARE you doing?

Honeywell: First of all, Miss Lilyfair, I'm arresting you.

Blossom: You can't arrest me, you nerd! I'm the owner of one of the largest cosmetics firms in the United States!

Honeywell: You're still found guilty of six charges of kidnapping.

Barbara: Miss Lilyfair, why do you want to prolong your youth so badly?

Blossom: I don't want to end up a decrepit old hag like you and all those old matrons in the audience.

Barbara: Miss Lilyfair, you don't seem very happy. I'm in my 60s, and yet, I'm a very happy woman. I have my herbs, my home, my good friends. Do you have that? Clothing and shoes can make you beautiful, but they can't hug you back.

Blossom: I don't want to hear this. (She goes over to unplug the microphone)

*Lauren steps in front of the plug. Her arms are folded, and there’s a no-nonsense look on her face.*

Blossom: Get out of my way, you little freak!

Emma: (Growls) No one calls my best friend in the universe a freak and gets away with it!

Lauren: *puts out an arm in front of Emma* Hang on, Em. *turns to Blossom* I've had enough of your snide little remarks. Just because you don't like the clothes I wear or the fact that I'm a TOMBOY, you feel the need to belittle me. That ends now. As far as I can tell, no one seems to know what YOU really look like because you use so much of your own damn cream! I'll bet you couldn't take any little comments aimed at you like what you've been slinging at me.

Blossom: Try me, you little idiot.

Lauren: Ooooh, ow, that really hurt. You know what? You aren't even worth it! Why would I bring myself down to your level? You MAY think you have more class than me in your little finger, but it's the complete opposite. I'm the one with the class because I know better than to belittle someone else just to make myself look better.

Blossom: I've been with the best people, eaten with the best people, wear the best clothes...

Barbara: I can see what this girl is saying, Miss. That doesn't make you a better person.

Blossom: I am NOT going to stand here and take this abuse from (she itches her face a little) little brats in dirty sneakers and matrons in last year's suit!

Lauren: At least I'm not scratching like I have fleas or something. *starts to snicker, puts a hand up to hide it*

Valerie: (As Blossom scratches harder) You need it again, don't you?

Blossom: No! I'm just...itchy. I have very dry skin.

Lauren: *sighs, then holds out a jar of cream to Blossom* Here. Stop scratching. You'll only make it worse.

Blossom: Give me that! (She grabs the cream, rubs the jar on her face, hands, and the parts of the toes visible in her open-toed shoes. Just a few seconds after she does, she frowns) Why does my skin feel tighter? It's never done that... (She rubs her face...which is developing a few wrinkles) Oh my God! It's not working! (A few more wrinkles develop on her face and hands, and crow's feet appear around her eyes.) What's happening?

Honeywell: Our scientist concocted a cream that counteracts the one you made. It'll return you to your correct age. (He takes the microphone) My operatives called me just ten minutes ago. We did find those missing workers. They were in an older factory in Bakersfield owned by Moonglow Cosmetics. All were covered in huge wrinkles from head to toe. Desmond's assistant gave them what we just gave Miss Lilyfair. The workers are all fine now and ready to head home.

Blossom: I wasn't going to hurt them! I would have waited until the wrinkles faded and let them go, with strict admonishment not to tell anyone what happened, of course. They were treated VERY well.

Honeywell: They were kept forcibly and give some fairly dangerous drugs. Human skin is not something to be trifled with, Miss Lilyfair. (Touches his now-smooth face) Trust me, I know.

Barbara: Miss Lilyfair, actually, you're still a very attractive woman. With or without the wrinkles.

Blossom: That can't be! This isn't beautiful!

Emma: By your standards and the standards of your fashion-obsessed hangers-on. There are other standards of beauty than the ones set by Parisian runways.

Blossom: (As two men in black outfits come up to her and handcuff her) No! NO! This isn't fair! All I wanted was to be the same forever! The same Blossom, the same beauty queen! Don't take this away from me!

Lauren: Sorry, Bloss. I think Father Time has a different plan.

Blossom: Damn it! No! No! This shouldn't happen! (She grins at the two men in black taking her off the stage) Hey there boys, if you let me go, I'll show you my garden. I'll bet you'd like to see it with a pretty woman like me.

Operative #1: Whatever, old lady.

Blossom: (Her shriek is quite clear even from off camera) OLD LADY!

Barbara Marion: (She takes the microphone again) There you go, everyone. Proof positive that beauty really is only skin deep. A perfect face and figure can be used to hide the ugliest of souls. (Smiles) Why don't we remove the rest of the creams and allow these ladies to finish their numbers? ;)

Valerie: (Takes the microphone as the crowd, including the models backstage, cheer) Ok girls, let it rip! (Grins and hands the microphone to Barbara; Kimberly gives Lauren a tambourine) With the help of our two heroines of the day.

Barbara: (Takes the microphone) It would be an honor. I don't know how good these old pipes are. I haven't sung since I played nightclubs out east. I guess we'll find out.

Lauren: Gladly!

(Barbara launches into "Hard to Believe" as we fade out on the scene.)