Are all of the ladies ready to begin? ;)

Valerie: Of course! ;)

Mike: Huh?

You're not in this story, dear. ;)

Lauren: I am! *someone sneezes in the background* Bless you, Mick!

Daphne: Let’s begin! *someone coughs in the background* Don't forget the cough syrup, Davy!

(We open in the kitchen of Davy and Daphne's house. Emma, Lauren, and Daphne are there, along with the twins, Lizzie, Leah, Katie, and Robbie. Katie sits on the floor with Robbie, throwing a ball to him. He grabs at it, then rolls it back to her and claps.)

*The twins chase each other around the island.*

*Leah and Lizzie play Patty Cake. Repeatedly.*

Emma: (Sighs) I'm so glad Mike, Jack, and Nyles agreed to take the kids today! I'm doing an assignment for the Malibu Beach Register and I really need to get going soon.

Daphne: And it's just too much to watch the kids *nods at Lauren* and our husbands at the same time. :

Lauren: *sighs* I'm still curious how they got sick, but Mike didn't.

Emma: Mike says he just doesn't get sick. (Rolls her eyes)

Micky: *calling out, whiny* Babe!? Where are ya?

Davy: *muffled* I told you I 'eard them in the kitchen.

Lauren: Oh dear God, here they come.

Emma: Oh dear.

*Davy and Micky appear in the doorway to the kitchen. Both wear pajamas, looking tired and clearly sick.*

Daphne: Guys, we told you to stay in bed!

Micky: *whiny* I was gettin' restless!

Davy: And 'e woke me up and dragged me with 'im!

Emma: Get back into bed, you two, before you make the kids sick.

Katie: (Looks up) Hi, Unca Micky! Unca Davy! (Frowns) I thought you had bad colds!

Micky: We... we... *pauses as a sneeze comes on; he turns and accidentally sneezes toward Davy; sniffs* Sorry, Dave.

Davy: I'm goin' back to bed. *trudges away, brushing himself off*

Micky: *still whiny* Is there any juice?

Daphne: Yes, it's in the fridge, in the same place it was an hour ago when you asked if we had any, which has been the same answer ALL DAY!

Micky: *lower lip trembles* BABE! Daphne's yelling at me!

Lauren: Oh sweet mother of God. *rolls her eyes and gets a glass of juice for Micky; hands him the glass* Here's your juice, Mick. Now, will you please go back to bed? We don't need the kids getting sick, too.

Katie: I guess you're still feelin' bad, Unca Micky.

Emma: Robbie just got over a cold. I don't want him getting another one or for Katie to get one.

Robbie: Yucky.

Micky: *takes his juice; small voice* Thank you, babe.

Lauren: *kisses her index and middle fingers of her right hand, then presses the fingers to Micky's forehead* Go back to bed. I'll check in on you a little later.

Emma: Awww!

*Micky nods and scuffs his way back toward the bedroom.*

Lauren: I knew a kiss would make him feel better, at least enough to make him leave, but there's no way I'm really kissing him when he's sick.

Emma: I can't say I blame you. (Looks at her watch) Wasn't Val supposed to be coming by, too? She said it was something important.

Daphne: *nods* I thought that's what she said.

(Valerie arrives at this point, followed by a familiar face - Inspector Honeywell of the CIS.)

Valerie: Hi, girls.

Lauren: Hey, Val. *frowns a bit at Honeywell*

Daphne: Hi, Valerie. What's with the tag-along?

Emma: Hi, Val. (Frowns) Inspector Honeywell, what brings you here?

Honeywell: Actually, I was going to speak to your husbands, but Mrs. Thorkleson tells me they're in dispose.

Emma: Mike will be along shortly.

Valerie: Peter is...busy. (Mutters to Emma) I'll explain where that idiot is later.

Emma: Got it.

Lauren: And the other two had better be asleep. They actually are indisposed; they're sick.

(Mike also arrives at this point, followed by Jack and Nyles. Mike narrows his eyes at Honeywell.)

Mike: (To Emma) Hi, darlin'. (To Honeywell; frowns) Honeywell, whatever it is, the answer is no. We've done enough spying for you. We're not spies. We're musicians.

Honeywell: It's a very simple case, Mr. Nesmith...

Nyles: *whispers to Jack* Ten bucks say Mike punches the guy.

*Jack just rolls his eyes.*

Mike: No. No more. Not to mention, I'm sure you heard Mrs. Dolenz say that her husband and Mr. Jones are very sick and not able to go anywhere.

Emma: What is it about, Inspector Honeywell?

Honeywell: It's nothing, really. Have you heard of Moonglow Cosmetics?

Emma: (Makes a face and nods) Yeah. They're expensive. Really high-end stuff, very frou-frou. I don't use it myself.

Lauren: *folds her arms over her chest* I don't use make-up, nor do I like it.

Valerie: They make some wonderful perfumes! I have their "Summer Rose Garden" at home on my vanity table.

Daphne: I have their blush and eyeliner, but that's it.

Honeywell: The owner of Moonglow Cosmetics, Blossom Lilyfair, just announced a new "Fountain of Youth" line of skin-care creams and cosmetics guaranteed to make the consumer not only look, but BE 20 years younger.

Valerie: What do you mean?

Honeywell: The creams will remove all signs of aging from not only the face, but the whole body.

Emma: I don't think that's really possible...

Lauren: *eyes narrow* There's gotta be some side effect or something!

Honeywell: We don't, either. Frankly, Mrs. Nesmith, we've heard rumors that Miss Lilyfair may be doing something more unethical, but she's always been in compliance with the law before and we can't prove anything.

Mike: And that's where we would come in.

Honeywell: (Nods) You'd visit the Moonglow Cosmetics headquarters and factories in Los Angeles and find out if the stuff really works, or if she has other intentions.

Mike: Cosmetics? The last thing I feel like chasin' around is some chick who's tellin' other chicks that some dumb cream may make them look like Miss America.

Daphne: Davy sees enough of my make-up to make him crazy. I doubt he'd go for that, anyway.

Lauren: And I'm not sure between me and Mick who knows LESS about make-up.

Valerie: Peter is not available at the present time. (Mutters) Or for several months.

Emma: (Frowns) Honeywell, you don't seem to be convinced.

Honeywell: (Shrugs) We sent one of our men to check it out, but he had a look around the factory and talked to Miss Lilyfair, and nothing seemed to be amiss. (Frowns) However, we've heard rumors that several factory workers, men and women, have been disappearing in the factory. Miss Lilyfair says they're on extended vacation.

Emma: (Growls) Extended vacation, my ass. (Out loud) Honeywell, I'll do it.

Mike: What? Darlin'...

Daphne: Count me in!

Emma: Mike, I'm doing this piece on Moonglow Cosmetics and the new Fountain of Youth line anyway. This will not only help Honeywell, but get me a great scoop for the Register!

Lauren: *considers, "weighing her options" Make-up spying...sick husband... *makes a face* talk about a lose-lose situation.

Mike: Yeah, what about the guys? I ain't babysittin' them and the kids, too!

Emma: Micky and Davy are big boys. They're not dying. They can take care of themselves. We'll be around to check up on them every now and then.

Lauren: Yeah, no matter what they say, they're definitely not dying.

Valerie: I'll go, too. I know Blossom Lilyfair. She's a friend of my father's.

Honeywell: Ladies, I'm not sure this is a good idea.

Lauren: Why not?

Daphne: *raises an eyebrow* Because we aren't "the guys?"

Emma: Please, Inspector, don't give us the sexist stuff. We've helped the boys out on all of these little capers you've sent them on.

Lauren: *shakes a fist* We can give you some proof if you need it.

Valerie: Inspector, not only do we know the perpetrator, but we know the audience. We're women. That's more than likely why your male operative didn't find anything. He didn't know what to look for.

Lauren: *mutters* Well, I don't know what to look for...

*Daphne elbows Lauren, trying not to chuckle.*

Valerie: I don't just mean with cosmetics, either. We know other women better than most men would...and we'd know how to talk to Blossom Lilyfair.

Emma: (Leans over Lauren) And kick her rear end if necessary.

Lauren: *grins widely, nodding* Now THAT, I know how to do.

Honeywell: This is highly irregular, but since you ladies HAVE worked with us before...

Jack: Sir, the only thing highly irregular here, is you.

*Nyles snorts, then laughs.*

Emma: (Looks at her watch) Honeywell, could you give us the rest of the briefing at Moonglow Cosmetics Headquarters? I have to get crackin' on my story.

(Mike also snorts.)

Honeywell: I'll join you ladies at the Headquarters.

Emma: We'll see you there in twenty minutes.

Mike: (As Honeywell leaves) Ok Val, out with it. Where's Pete? He hasn't been at the studio, and I know he hasn't been at home.

Valerie: (As calmly as she can) Peter is in a penitentiary in Oklahoma awaiting trial. :

Mike: WHAT?

Emma: He's in jail?

Valerie: For possession of illegal narcotics.

Lauren: *groans* Oh my Lord.

Daphne: Wow.

Valerie: They let him call me. He said he barely had a few joints and a bag of weed on him and that police are so uptight, they're arresting anyone with long hair and a joint. (Growls) I TOLD him he should at least shave. He's looked like an overgrown golden bear for months.

Mike: How long are they booking him?

Lauren: *snorts; whispers to Daphne* He must look like Grizzly Adams by now.

*Daphne chuckles.*

Valerie: He says it'll probably be about four months. (Makes a face) And I'm NOT bailing him out. I think this will teach him a lesson. He knows law enforcement's been paranoid about hippies and anyone who doesn't look "normal."

Mike: What was he doing in Oklahoma, anyway?

Valerie: He was on his way to visit his parents in Connecticut. They're not going to bail him out, either.

Emma: Valerie, what are you and Jordan going to do in the meantime?

Valerie: (Sighs) We're going to close the Montgomery House and stay at the mansion in Beverly Hills until this whole thing with Peter is cleared up...and possibly after. (Quietly) I'm putting in serious consideration to getting a divorce. I've really had it up to here with his partying. He's spent almost every last bit of his own money, and I'm putting a tighter hold on mine.

Mike: He's broke?

Valerie: Just about.

Lauren: *shakes her head* Oh dear.

*Daphne lets out a low whistle.*

Emma: Valerie, what about Jordan?

Valerie: That's why I'm going back to Dad's. Matilda will take care of him while I'm at work.

Emma: (Looks at the girls) Valerie...why don't we help take care of Jordan? That way, you won't have to close or sell the Montgomery House.

Valerie: Guys, I couldn't...

Lauren: What are friends for, Val?

Daphne: *to Lauren* Do you really want an answer to that?

*Lauren turns a grin and wink at Daphne.*

Valerie: (Sighs) I'm going to have to sell SOMETHING to settle his debts. I'll take another mortgage on the Montgomery House, I guess. (makes a face) Or sell his instrument collection. Would serve him right.

Emma: We'll help you figure it out on the way to the Moonglow Cosmetics Headquarters.

Lauren: Right.

Mike: And we have to round up some kiddies. (Goes into the living room and scoops Robbie into his arms) Hi there, cowboy. Ready to come home with Papa?

Robbie: Papa!

Katie: I'm gonna go, too! I'll watch Robbie!

Mike: That's ok, cowgirl. You can play with the twins. We'll watch your brother.

Katie: (Turns to the twins) We're gonna go over to our house! You'll get to go to the beach!

*The twins cheer and jump up and down, chanting "Beach, beach!"*

Katie: (She takes Lizzie's hand) Come on, Lizzie! We're gonna go to the beach!

(Nyles lifts Leah into the air and tosses her lightly. )

*Leah laughs and claps.*

Valerie: (Turns to the other women) Ok ladies, we're going to head to Moonglow Cosmetics' Headquarters. I have Rosemarie here. We'll take her. (Turns to Mike) You can keep Ursula with you in case something goes wrong on your end.

Mike: Gotcha.

(Valerie and the girls head out as Mike and the boys herd the kids to the garage to get in the MonkeeMobile and we fade out.)