Ok, everyone ready to catch a few devils by the tail?

Micky: I'm ready!

Davy: Me too!

Mike: Yeah!

Peter: I hope Em and Valerie are ok. :(

(We open on the road, with stock shots of noticeably younger guys on the desert road; there's even that shot of the "Clarksville" sign from "Monkees In a Ghost Town." Cut to the '72 Micky, Mike, and Peter in the Monkeemobile as they pull up next to a large ghost town. It looks a great deal like the town in "Wild West Monkees," but quieter. Everything is in much better shape, though, perfectly cleaned and painted.)

Mike: This ain't even a nice place to live. :p

Peter: There's got to be a way to those caves!

Mike: I didn't see no road.

Micky: The entrance is probably a mine shaft or something.

Peter: We'd better stay together. Every time we separate when we're trying to save people, we get into trouble! :p :(

Mike: Yeah, Pete, you're right. (Looks at Micky) Got the reels?

Micky: Yup, right here. *holds up the tins* And, actually... *blue light; a knapsack appears and he slides the tins into it, then slings the bag on his back* Easier to carry. ;)

Mike: Good idea. (Nods at the first place they see, the general store) Well, come on. (They enter. It's the Granny's General Store set from "Wild West Monkees" without Granny - goods, food, and knick-knacks are piled everywhere.)

Peter: Wow!

Mike: Mick, I wouldn't eat anythin'. It's probably stuff Alex has worked on. Might poison 'ya or do somethin' to your powers. :p

Micky: Darn. What a waste. :P

Mike: Yeah, well, you know better than to mess with anything Alex has been within ten miles of.

Peter: I'm glad we sent Davy to get the police. (Whimpers) I wish I'd gone with him. :(

Micky: *slings an arm around Peter's shoulders* Awe, don't worry, Pete. The three of us are quite a force to be reckoned with. ;)

Mike: It'll be ok, Pete. (Nods at Micky) Better contact the girls and tell them we got here safely. They'll be worried sick.

Peter: You do it, Micky! :)

Micky: Right-oh! *opens his watch, a la Bug Bunny* Micky calling "oith," come in "oith." ;)

Lauren: *over the communicator; sighs* "Oith," here. Over. ;)

(Peter laughs and Mike rolls his eyes.)

Micky: Hiya, babe. Whatcha doin'? ;)

Lauren: Mick, are you guys okay, or what? Did you make it out there alright?

Micky: We're fine, babe. No problems at all.

Lauren: Other than your bad Bronx accent. ;)

Micky: Funny, babe. :P ;)

Micky: Gotta go. We're looking for an entrance to get down to the caves.

Mike: And fillin' out what's really been a very lightly plotted story. :p

Lauren: Just watch out for any trap doors. ;)

Micky: Bye, babe. :)

Lauren: Bye, Mick. ;)

Micky: *closes his communicator* Filler is good. ;)

Mike: Ok, guys, let's go. (Groans as Micky reaches for a jar of jelly beans) And Mick, stay outta the food. Who knows what's in that?

Peter: And we don't have much money on us!

Micky: Sorry, man, they look so good!

Mike: Well, let's keep goin' until we either find the entrance or the devils.

Peter: I hope we find the former! :(

Micky: Me too. :P

(They exit the general store. Mike indicates a building with "Jail" painted on it in big letters.)

Mike: Maybe Alex decided to turn himself in.

Micky: It's definitely near the top of possible places to find at least one of the devils.

Mike: Yeah. Come on. (They push through the swinging doors...and find the lab Alex was using earlier when we saw him and Sheila with the raccoon. Everything is the same as it was before, bubbling chemicals and all.)

Mike: Holy shit! :o

Peter: Wow, I guess Alex is trying to create a new kind of beer!

Micky: *kneels by a table--the camera is behind the flasks so we pretty much only see his hair* Wow... though I doubt he's making beer. I don't see any hops.

Mike: (Takes a sniff of one of the beakers; his eyes water, and he makes a face and puts it down) Man, I hope he don't intend THAT to be beer. That's nose-clearin' stuff! :p

Micky: I'd say it's cold medicine, but we know better.

Voice: (Slurred) H..hello? Someone there? (Groans) Oh, man, I feel like shit...

Peter: (Squeaks) There's someone here! :o

Micky: Uh oh...

(Mike pulls a partition from behind some of the tables laden with lab equipment...revealing a pale young man in his boxers. He's strapped tightly to the table, and is naked other than the boxers. His thick black hair curls over his heart-shaped face, but his blue eyes are blank and...well, soulless.)

Mike: (Frowns) It's Nate, the younger Wesley guy. God, you DO look like shit.

Nate: You notished. :p

Micky: Oh, man... :P X-(

Mike: Nate, where's Alex and Sheila?

Nate: (Rather flat) The caves. They usually come and go through that door. (Points to an almost-invisible door in the woodwork near the table.)

Peter: Oh, god. (Hands the boy a lab coat) Here you go! You'll catch your death!

Nate: Feel like I already did. (He takes the coat)

*Micky inspects the door.*

Mike: Nate, (hands him a pair of chemical-spattered pants) put these on and go meet the cops when they arrive. Tell them we're on the caves and to use this door to get there.

Nate: Yes. (He takes the pants a tad rigidly, without questions or putting up a fight)

Peter: (Frowns) Nate, there's definitely something wrong with you. Your aura is shaky and way too soft. You were never this obedient on the set! (Grins) You were always a little bit of a rebel. I liked that about you. (Quieter) You sort of reminded me of Mike...

Nate: There's nothing different. I am what I am.

Micky: *glances over his shoulder, from the door* You are more than likely what the devils wanted you to be.

Nate: The...devils?

Mike: Mr. and Ms. Saunders.

Nate: I don't know a Mr. and Ms. Saunders. This is Ms. London's home.

Mike: (Grumbles) She's changin' names again. (To Nate) Hey, where's the rest of the quartet?

Nate: Alex already did them. He said he had something to do before he came back to finish me.

Mike: (Mutters) Yeah, finish you off.

Micky: Great. :P

Mike: Find anythin' in that door, Mick?

Micky: It's flat, completely flush with the frame, so why don't we give this a try? *places both hands flat on the door and gives it a push; it springs open toward him slightly* Gee, that was a little too easy.

Peter: I don't like the sound of that. :(

Mike: (Turns back towards Nate, who has gone behind the bar to change into pants) Hey, Nate, you wouldn't have seen two young women here? One tall, with long auburn hair, blue eyes and a suit, the other shorter, with glasses, wavy brown hair, gray eyes, real plump and curvy. We think Alex and Sheila may have brought them here.

Nate: (Shakes his head) No, I haven't seen anyone like that, but I've been in the holding cells or here.

Mike: (Frowns but nods) All right. (Gently pushes the boy towards the door) You go meet the police and our buddy Davy now. Make sure they get through that door.

Nate: There's another lab in the jail. That's where they keep us when we aren't needed. There's a door there that leads into the main complex, too. I'll tell them to go there as well.

Mike: You do that, shotgun. (He turns to Micky and Peter, who are staring the door) Well, don't just stand there, move it, cowboys!

Micky: Alright, alright! :P

Peter: (Gulps) All...all right, Michael. I don't like it, but I want to help Val and Em and the other kids!

Mike: Yeah, me too. (As he and the guys enter the door) And does anyone else have a serious cravin' for honey?

Micky: *blinks* Um, no. :P

Peter: (As the door closes) No...but do you still have that box of dog biscuits in the car?

Micky: And you two say that I have strange taste in food! Yeesh! :P ;)

(Fade out on the guys entering the door. Cut to...darkness. Total, complete darkness. The screen is blank. Then, we hear voices.)

Mike: Ow! Ok, who stepped on my foot?

Peter: I think that was me, Michael. Sorry!

Micky: Did someone just slap my back?

Mike: How can we do that if you're in back of us?

Peter: Oh, god, there's a monster in here! :o

Mike: Ain't no such thing, Pete.

Micky: Well, somebody hit me! :P

Mike: Look, this is ridiculous. (Sound of someone digging their heels into dirt...and various grunts and "oofs" as we hear three people topple onto the ground)

Peter: Michael, don't stop so fast! :p

Mike: Sorry, Pete! I ain't exactly built with brakes, you know!

Micky: Why do I always end up on the bottom? *groans*

Mike: You're comfortable to land on. ;)

Micky: Gee, thanks. :P

Peter: Why don't we make this easier? (We see a blue light; the sound of something being moved and handed around; then, three beams of light from three flashlights in red, white, and green light up the concrete and dirt passageway) There! Isn't that better?

Mike: (Nods) Yeah, it is.

Micky: Much. Thanks, Big Peter.

Peter: Come on! There's got to be an end to this tunnel somewhere!

Micky: Knowing our luck, there probably isn't, and we'll be stuck in here for the rest of eternity. :P

Mike: Yeah, but... (turns the flashlight to the area behind them; there's nothing there) Guess we'd just better get goin'. Musta been hearin' things.

Micky: As long as we don't start SEEING things. :P

Peter: I hope not! :o

(They continue on the passage, finally - after much bumping and fussing - coming out in what seems like the back end of a mine shaft. A mine cart sits on a rusty rail. Mike pushes it, and it moves forward just a bit.)

Peter: I don't like this! I'll bet it's a trap!

Mike: Or it could lead us to the girls, or the end of this passage.

Peter: What if it falls into the mine?

Mike: (Pushes it back and forth) Not too sturdy...

Peter: (Looks at the darkness in the passage) Should we?

Mike: (Shrugs) Might as well. Don’t seem to be any other way out.

(The three guys climb into the mine cart as "You Told Me" begins. Mike looks around for a way to start the cart, but it somehow starts on it's own.)

*They roll down the first decline, right past a bunch of bats. The guys scream and the bats scatter.*

(Peter points to the first curve. Mike gets all of them to lean slightly to the left as not to end up falling into the abyss.)

*The ride becomes bumpy. Micky looks over the side and sees some women, then animals tied to the track. He leans back, a blank look on his face.* :P ;)

(Peter screams as he points to another bat that looks like it has a Dracula cape...but Mike manages to shine his flashlight on it, revealing a bat that just has it's wings out. The bat goes for a flight, and Peter sits back, relieved.)

*The cart rolls right under a waterfall.* ;)

(Peter and Micky manage to duck away, Micky covering the reels...but Mike gets soaked. He's dripping and raging when they come out from under it. :p X( )

(Peter waves at what looks like three pink balloons with large green eyes and cat ears singing a pretty song on a series of crystalline rocks. They look slightly miffed that he hadn't been more appreciative of their song. ;) :p)

Peter: (Over the ending music) Look! (Points to a spot of light at the end of the tracks) There's the end!

Mike: Onwards, then, my good men!

Micky: About time! :D

(Cut to the end of the track. The guys climb out of the mine cart and into what looks like the opening of an old mine. There's old wood scaffolding and bits of abandoned mine equipment everywhere.)

Micky: This is interesting. :P

Peter: Guys, look! (He runs over to a stone table in the middle of the area. It's empty) Doesn't this remind you a little of something?

Mike: Yeah, a nightmare I once had.

Micky: Ditto that. :P

Peter: It looks a little like (softer) the cave where the devils killed our ancestors. :(

Micky: Like we said, a nightmare. :P

Mike: (Jumps back from the stone table like it's gonna bite him) They'd better NOT be tryin' shit like that!

Peter: I hope not. It'll drive up the rating for this story! :p

Micky: In that case, I don't think it's gonna happen.

(Suddenly, there's a black light in the back of the room, behind the stone table. Alex and Sheila appear. Behind them are four cages. One cage has the raccoon, another has a cocker spaniel puppy, the third holds a white kitten, and the fourth has a beautiful golden bird trilling away in a sweet voice.)

Mike: You BASTARDS! X(

Sheila: Now, now, what were you saying about ratings?

Mike: Where's my wife?

Peter: Valerie! What have you done with her? :o

Sheila: They're in the complex, and quite safe. You, however, won't see them until we have those reels.

Micky: What is it with you two and making your own zoos!? :P X-( ;)

Sheila: Oh, none of them will be staying animals for long...including our new female slaves. When they've been conditioned, they'll be returned to their human states and sent out to do some collecting for us.

Mike: (Roars so loudly, several parts of the cave shake) OVER MY DEAD BODY, BITCH!!!!!!! X(

Micky: In other words, no way. :P

Sheila: You want them back? Hand over those reels.

Micky: Not a chance. :P

Alex: Seems they don't want to cooperate, Milady.

Mike: (Shaking; clenches his fists so hard, they turn white) Where are they, Sheila? Where are Emma and Valerie?

Sheila: (Looks at Alex) Bring them over, dear. >:)

Alex: Gladly. >:)

*Alex makes a red setter puppy and a brown bear cub appear. He holds the cub in one arm and has a leash on the pup, who isn't making any real effort to get away.*

Peter: (Wails) VAL! :o :((

Mike: Bet the bear is Em. I knew there was a reason I wanted honey. X(

Micky: *growls* Hand 'em over. X-(

Peter: What have you done to them? :o

Mike: I want my wife human, and in her right mind. NOW. Or you know what I can do to you. X(

Alex: Haven't done much to them. Just made them a little more cooperative. ;) >:)

Mike: I know my wife. She ought to be bitin' you and scratchin' you right now. She ain't like that. (Narrows his eyes) You been...playin' with them in bed? X(

Peter: Valerie, please! (He reaches out to her head to scratch it) Oh, Val... :(

Alex: *makes a bit of a face; quick glare at Sheila* Haven't had a chance to yet. :P

Sheila: Not my fault you can't tear yourself away from your damn chemistry sets! :p

Mike: You know we're gonna grab them, Alex. (Narrows his eyes) You know what I'll do to you in order to get them back. X(

Alex: Oh, really? Just try it. >:)

(Mike growls and concentrates. A dark blue light surrounds Emma.)

Sheila: Ahh, but we have our own plans for you, luv. (She turns to Alex) You know what to do. ;)

*A black light surrounds Mike. When it clears, he's strapped to the stone table. Alex smirks.* >:)

Mike: No! Man, let me go! (He struggles as hard as he can; the bear watches, sadness appearing her gray eyes)

Peter: Michael! (Turns to Micky) Come on, we've got to get him out of there! We aren't gonna hurt him! :(

Micky: *nods* You got it, Pete!

Sheila: (Goes to Peter and takes him by the shoulders) But you won't help him. Not at all. (She backs him against a wall)

Peter: NO!

Micky: Leave him alone!

Mike: NO! NO! Get offa him, witch!

Sheila: (Looks over her shoulders at Micky) The reels, Savage. Or...(she runs her fingers along Peter's cheek, then down to his chest) Lose both your friends and their wives. >:)

Micky: Oh, man... *pulls the tins out of the bag; starts to hand them over...*

Sheila: Very good. I knew you had some sense in that curly head of yours someplace. (She reaches for the reels...when they vanish in a dark blue light.)

Mike: (Grins) Nice work, Mick! ;)

Peter: It really worked! The imagined duplicates worked! :D

Micky: *grins* What can I say? ;)

Sheila: (Her eyes are the size of flying saucers in the movies) WHAT?! :o

Alex: Dammit! X-(

Mike: Mick faked ya, Sheila. That wasn't the real film. They were just tin cans Mick's imagination conjured up. ;)

Peter: The real film is where it should be, with the cops!

Micky: So there! *sticks his tongue out* :P ;)

Sheila: You little... (She turns to Alex, who holds the two animals) Alex, do you want to handle the ladies first, or Nesmith? X(

Sheila: You little... (She turns to Alex, who holds the two animals) Alex, do you want to handle the ladies first, or Nesmith? X(

Alex: Nesmith. >:)

*Alex puts the two animals in cages.*

Peter: MICHAEL! (He starts to his friend, but Sheila holds his arms tightly) Let me go! I've got to save him!

Sheila: Not this time, Bard.

*Alex moves to the stone table and cracks his knuckles, grinning. He's about to do something to Mike when Micky moves quickly to a wooden door in the cave wall and opens it, letting in several police officers, along with Davy and Nate, who stay by the door, out of the way.*

Peter: (Grins) You're here! :D

Mike: 'Bout time you arrived, boy. :p

Peter: Alex is gonna hurt Mike, cut off his hair and slash him with a sword! :((

Mike: (Growls) Probably take my voice, too. X(

Davy: Sorry, mates, 'ad a bit of a time getting all these nice officers out 'ere. ;)

Alex: *growls* You sure know how to ruin a good time.

Micky: Sorry about that, devil-boy. ;)

Nielson: Ok, hands up, devils, and let that kid go. We know you've done something to the Wesley Collings Quartet. The evidence is in our safe.

Nate: A...alex? What's this? (Nods at Mike)

Alex: *sighs* Would've been a fun experiment... :P ;)

Nielson: (Puts handcuffs on Alex) Alex London, you're under arrest for kidnapping and assault and battery on at least two minors.

*Alex merely narrows his eyes.* :P X-(

Mike: (As Davy and Micky free him) Add use of illegal substances and cruel and unusual torture to that list, too.

Nielson: (Nods at Sheila) Bring Miss Saunders while you're at it. She's under arrest for assault and accessory to kidnapping (narrows his own eyes) not to mention resisting arrest and escaping prison. :p

Sheila: I'm not going anywhere, and I'm NEVER returning to prison as long as I live. (She black lights herself...and the cages. The animals are all returned to their human forms, including Emma and Valerie, who run to their husbands. She adds as everyone looks around, annoyed or shocked) Alex, join me later!

Mike: (Growls) DAMN IT! X(

Nielson: That... (grins at Alex) I still have you, though.

*Alex smirks.* >:) ;)

Mike: I'm gonna make sure he don't go anywhere for a while. (Mike runs a finger across Alex's head, then whispers a few words in his ear. Alex's eyes glaze over, and his smirk turns into a silly, childlike smile) There you go, Sergeant. He's all ready for ya.

Nielson: (Tugs at Alex) Ok, fella, you're comin' with us. We've got some boys at a very nice jail over the border who'd LOVE to talk to you. ;)

Alex: Oh-kay! :D

(Nielson leads Alex away as the cops question the now-human Wesley Collings Quartet and Eva Beryl.)

Valerie: (Hugs Peter) I'm so glad you're all right!

Mike: What happened to you guys?

Emma: We went to question Eva Beryl at her house.

Valerie: She leaked information about Headquarters' contract artists to Sheila and Alex, who then took their pick and seduced the freshest and the brightest of the lot into giving up their souls.

Emma: They caught onto us, though, and we ended up in Sheila's car. They did...something...to us, probably injected us with one of Alex's damn drugs, then turned us into animals. X(

Micky: That's lovely. :P

Emma: What about you guys? Did you get the evidence?

Mike: (Grins at Micky) Sure did! ;)

Micky: Of course! ;) :D

Peter: Alex won't be getting out of jail for a long time, or Sheila, either, when they catch her. :D

Mike: (Puts his hands on Emma's shoulders) Em, darlin', are you sure you're ok?

Peter: (Nods at Valerie) Your aura is still a little shaky, Val.

Emma: (Sighs, then yawns) I think I just need rest.

Mike: Yeah, I think we do, too. Why don't we give our statements to Nielson, then get outta this crazy death-maze of Alex's and go home?

Peter: That sounds wonderful! :)

Davy: Good idea.

Micky: That's fine with me!

Emma: All I want right now is to be with my family and take a nap. :) :p

Valerie: Me too.

Mike: (Crooked grin) Let's go, Guardians. (He puts his arm around Emma and Peter, and the whole group follows his lead, walking over to Nielson as the camera fades out on the happy group flanked by the stone table, the straps still attached to it...and a stray needle.)