*We open in a dark room lit by only a dark blue lava lamp. There's an evil laugh as a black light dims the light from the lava lamp.*
(There's an "oof" as the outline of Mike lands face-first on the floor.)
Mike: (As he gets to his feet) Man, what in the HELL was that? Where am I? (Looks around)
Alex: Even YOU know that's the floor!
Mike: (Looks up...and growls) Alex. Yes, I know damn well this is the floor. Where IS this floor?
Alex: In one of my rooms. One of my FAVORITE rooms, as a matter of fact.
Mike: Where? Arizona?
Alex: Of course! I get frequent flyer miles, ya know.
Mike: But...I was just in England....
Alex: I know that! I get double points for going across oceans.
Mike: How...
Alex: I'm a devil. You have to ask how?
Mike: (Concentrates; mutters) I've gotta get outta here...
Alex: *sends a black light over Mike* Not so fast, Knight. *picks Mike up off the floor* I haven't had any fun with you yet!
Mike: (He tries to struggle, but he can't move) Put me down, you creton!
Alex: Aw, you have a pet name for me! *half drags, half carries Mike to an examination table*
Mike: No! Let me go! Where's the guys?
Alex: Them? They're still in England. For now.
Mike: You...you...
*Alex straps Mike to the table by his ankles and wrists.*
Alex: *leans on one elbow and waggles his eyebrows at Mike* Me what? I know you have another pet name you wanna call me.
Mike: (Struggles as hard as he can) Asshole!
Alex: *grins* Ooooh, that's a GOOD one! I knew you loved me.
Mike: I could NEVER love you.
*Alex whistles as he walks around the table. He goes to a smaller table that holds various items.*
Alex: *turns* Never? Oh, I don't know about that. I think I could change your mind.
Mike: Don't even TRY touchin' me like that.
Alex: *shrugs* You know what I have to do. *Goes back over to Mike and runs his hands over his arms, then his legs*
Mike: (Makes a face) Get off me.
Alex: *leans over in Mike's face* Mmmmmm...no.
(Mike spits right in Alex's face, hitting him directly between the eyes.)
Alex: *wipes his face; sniffs* Our first lovers' SPAT!
Mike: WE ARE NOT LOVERS!
Alex: *looks taken aback* But...but... *looks like he's going to cry, then shrugs* Oh well.
Mike: I love Em, Alex. She's the only one I want.
*Alex turns back to the table and picks up an item, then turns back to Mike.*
Mike: I ain't gonna play your little sex games, Alex. What do you want me here for, anyway? Where's Sheila?
Alex: Oh, she's around. Matter of fact, she's probably busy by now.
Mike: Busy with what...or whom?
Alex: *nods* Whom would be the correct word.
Mike: Softenin' me up for her?
Alex: Of course! (Leans over him) Now, time to play a game. *taps the end of a drum stick on Mike's chest*
Mike: Stop that!
Alex: Stop what? *taps Mike again*
Mike: That's annoyin'.
Alex: What's annoying? *taps him again*
Mike: Ow! Cut it out!
Alex: *taps him again* Cut what out?
Mike: That's not funny! I ain't a drum!
*Alex taps him twice.*
Mike: Alex!
Alex: I love it when you say my name! *taps him on the chest several times*
Mike: Man, this is gonna leave bruises...(growls) but you probably want that.
Alex: Hopefully. *taps his way down one of Mike's legs*
Mike: Man...
*Alex makes another drumstick appear and moves back up to Mike's stomach. He taps out the riff to "Mary, Mary."*
Mike: (Struggles wildly) Alex, KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!
Alex: Hmmm. Maybe a different song. *grins* I got it! *taps out "Randy Scouse Git"*
Mike: Alex, I'm warnin' ya...
Alex: Alright, what song do you want me to play?
Mike: (Looks into his eyes as well as he can) I want you to return me to England, to my wife, and to the guys. They're gonna miss me. You know that.
Alex: Yeah, I know that, but you should know... *shrugs* I don't care.
Mike: I do care. When I get outta here... (He pulls at his bonds)
Alex: You'll what?
Mike: I'm gonna bite you in the butt so hard, you and that bitch devil woman of yours ain't gonna be able to sit down for the next thousand years!
Alex: I'd probably enjoy that.
Mike: You won't like what I aim to do to your family jewels.
Alex: *lays one of the sticks across Mike's throat* You're hardly in a position to threaten me.
Mike: I will be when I get out of this.
Alex: *rolls his eyes* Shut up and kiss me. *leans over Mike again and gives him a big smooch!*
(Mike roars and struggles as hard as he can...seeming to blur between wolf and man...)
Alex: Whoops! Overdid it a little there. Sorry about that, Knight. *rubs Mike's temples*
Mike: (Pants; as he finally slumps, he grounds out) Bastard.
Alex: *unbuttons Mike's shirt* Another pet name.
Mike: Get off...
Alex: No. *feels around Mike's chest*
Mike: Please...oh Em...
Alex: *kneads Mike's chest* Forget about her...
Mike: My Em...Alex, I want...her...
Alex: Soon enough, Knight... *continues to knead; leans over to kiss Mike again*
(This time, Mike just turns his head away.)
Alex: *sighs* No more games, Knight. *climbs onto the table and straddles Mike; glances at the camera* Might wanna give us a little privacy.
(Fade out on Alex and Mike and fade in on...darkness. We finally see some points of light, followed by Davy and Peter as they make their way through a dark, dusty passageway.)
Peter: Didn't we just do this at Kibbee Manor? :
Davy: I think we did.
Peter: I wonder where this leads?
Davy: I don't know, but I'm sure we'll find out.
Peter: I wonder how long this place has been here? I haven't seen any ghosts.
Davy: No ghosts, but it's still really creepy. I wondah if Mike and Mick 'ave found anything yet?
Peter: Probably the kitchen. You know Mick. He's always hungry.
Davy: No kidding. I'm kinda curious why 'e kept saying 'e was cold. That was odd, even for 'im.
Peter: Yeah, it's not THAT cold in here. Actually, I thought it was pretty warm.
Davy: I did, too.
Peter: (Stops; frowns) Davy, do you hear something?
Davy: I don't 'ear anything...
Peter: I do. I think there's someone behind us! (He shines the flashlight behind him.)
Davy: I still don't 'ear anything!
Peter: It sounds like footsteps. (Camera turns to Peter's face...which shows an expression of horror) Davy, they're here! They're here!
Davy: 'O, Petah? And I STILL don't 'ear anything! :P
Peter: Davy! Davy, they're... (And suddenly, there's a flash of black light, and the light of the flashlight falls to the ground)
Davy: Petah?
(Davy runs over to where Peter was...but there's nothing there but the flashlight.)
Davy: *picks up the flashlight* Petah!
(Nothing replies but his echo.)
Davy: Not good.
(Fade out on Davy; fade in on a large living room area. The room is very, very 70s, with bead curtains, heavy burnt orange shag carpeting, lava lamps, paisley throws on the couches, and dark wood panneled walls. Peter appears on a soft beanbag chair.)
Peter: Wh...where am I? (Gulps) This place looks groovy, but I don't like the aura...
Familiar Voice: Hi, Big Peter.
Peter: Who's there? (Turns around; eyes widen in horror when he sees the newcomer) Alex!
Alex: *walks up to Peter, arms folded over his chest* Welcome to one of my personal suites. *half smirk* I hope you enjoy your stay.
Peter: But I'm not...I don't want to stay here!
Alex: I'm sorry you feel that way, Bard. Really, I am.
Peter: Alex, this isn't my home. I want to go back to the guys and Valerie!
Alex: *steps up to Peter; drags his fingertips along Peter's cheek* I think you need to calm down, Bard.
Peter: (Moves back against the chair) No, I don't.
Alex: *pushes Peter into the chair* Yes, you do. *moves behind Peter and starts massaging his shoulders*
Peter: (Whimpers) Stop...
Alex: *continues to massage* Stop what? I'm just trying to help you release some tension. Is that so bad?
Peter: You...you want me for a collector. I don't want to hurt anyone.
Alex: Bard, you will not hurt anyone. My collectors don't hurt.
Peter: Taking souls hurts people!
Alex: You don't know that for sure.
Peter: I saw what happened to our ancestors! So did you!
(Peter whimpers as Alex continues to massage, but he is relaxing.)
Alex: You NEED to calm yourself, Bard.
Peter: (Leans back in the chair) Just don't hurt me...take me home...
Alex: *smirks* I'll take you home...
Peter: (He's near tears) MY home...
Alex: I will.
(As Alex continues to massage a relenting Peter's shoulders, we fade back to the passage. Davy is in the same place we left him, holding Peter's abandoned flashlight.)
*Davy walks down the passage and finally sees light ahead of him. He picks up his pace, but before he reaches the passageway, he trips and takes a tumble.*
Davy: Blast it! (He mutters English curse words and picks himself up) What was that?
*A whimper answers Davy.*
Davy: Hey! Are you ok? (He shines the light into the passageway)
*The person puts their hands up over their face, trying to hide from the flashlight beam, but it's hard to mistake the curly hair.*
Davy: Mick! Man, you scared the livin' daylights outta me!
Micky: *peeks between his fingers; warily* Davy?
Davy: Mick! What are you doin' in here?
Micky: *lowers his hands; looks around, a fearful look on his face* Sitting alone...
Davy: Alone? Where's Mike?
Micky: Disappeared...left me alone...
Davy: Micky, get a hold of yourself! Peter disappeared, too!
Micky: Are you gonna leave me next?
Davy: No, Mick. (Helps him to his feet) I'm gonna stay right with you!
Micky: *surprised* Really?
Davy: Really. (Frowns) You're really upset, aren't you?
Micky: *nods, hugging himself again* Yeah. Cold, too.
Davy: Cold? Micky, why do you keep saying you're cold?
Micky: Because I am. Aren't you?
Davy: Not at all. Micky, are you feeling all right?
Micky: *still hugging himself* I guess. I don't know. Felt weird since we came in here.
Davy: Tell me you're not seeing ghosts too!
Micky: *shakes his head* No, just cold. *pauses* I wanna leave, Davy. Let’s get Mike and Peter and go.
Davy: We just need to find them. I guess you haven't seen Peter.
Micky: No. *shivers* We need to leave, Davy.
*Micky grabs Davy's hand and pulls him back into the passageway.*
Davy: Micky, your hands are like ice! (He pulls away) Did you make yourself a cold drink in the kitchen?
Micky: *frowns* No. We have to go!
Davy: What about Mike and Peter?
Micky: *grabs Davy's hand again* We'll get them! Let’s go!
Davy: All right. (Looks around) Let's get out of this passage. It's givin' me the willies.
Micky: No, we have to go this way! *tugs Davy to the passage*
Davy: (Shivers) All right, but I think I'm gettin' cold now. It must be drafty in here... (He follows Mick down the passage)
Micky: *mutters as he continues to tug Davy along* Gonna find them...get outta here...
*The guys continue through the pitch-black passageway until Micky stops suddenly, causing Davy to walk into him.*
Davy: Ow! (Rubs his nose) Micky, what was with that?
Micky: ...Arizona...
Davy: Micky, we're in England!
Micky: Need to go to Arizona!
*A dark blue light envelopes them & they disappear from the passageway.*
(The two reappear in Sheila's black-and-red suites in Arizona, both laying on the huge canopy bed, with Sheila in between them.)
Sheila: Hello, boys. Aren't we just cozy?
Davy: Ugh! (He jumps out of the right side)
Micky: Yikes! *jumps out of the left side*
Sheila: Aw, don't you want to play?
Davy: For the love of God, how did we end up here?
Micky: *eyes narrow* You MADE ME bring us here!
Sheila: I was in the mood for some fun. Aren't you?
Micky: Uh, no!
Davy: Like hell we're not! Where's Mike and Peter?
Sheila: They're not with you?
Micky: No, the both disappeared on us!
Sheila: They're not here. I don't know where else they'd be. (Smirks) But you're here now, so why don't you... (Reaches for Micky's head - he's closer)
Micky: *eyes widen* No! *ducks away, crawling over the bed*
Sheila: Now now, Savage. (Tries to grab hold of him) If we wanted to play that way...
Davy: Sheila, get off of him! (He grabs her arms)
Sheila: I like the way you think, Lord!
Micky: Get away from him! *pauses a moemnt before grabbing her around the waist and tugging her away. They both go tumbling.*
Sheila: (Grins; Micky's on top) Well hello there, Savage. You have an interesting idea of foreplay. Want to go first?
Micky: No! I was trying to keep you AWAY from Davy...and ME! *He tries to crawl away, but Sheila grabs the back of the waistband of his pants.* Dave! She's got me!
Davy: This is madness! (There's a dark blue light. Sheila finally falls away, revealing Davy standing over her, holding his rapier) Got 'er with the handle of me sword.
Micky: *lands face-down on the floor; glares up at Davy* You could've warned me to brace myself first.
Davy: Sorry 'bout that, mate. (He helps Micky to his feet) Let's just get out of here. If Sheila don't know anythin' 'bout it, Alex must be behind this.
Micky: *scratches the back of his head* I'm almost positive. I think he might've had something to do with the way I was acting back there.
Davy: Wouldn't surprise me. (Nods at the door) Let's get goin', before Sheila comes to and realizes that her toys are missin'.
Micky: Yeah. I REALLY don't feel like being played with right now.
*They head out the door as we fade out.*