Emma: Why don't we do a quick "it-doesn't-have-anything-to-do-with-the-story-but-what-the-hell" romp? ;)
Lauren: Sure!
Emma: Let's teach the guys about OUR childhoods...in the 80s. ;)
Lauren: Hee hee!
Emma: Lauren, have you taught Mick "Heart and Soul"? ;)
Lauren: You better believe it!
Lauren: Actually, I taught him "Secret Heart" and "Don't Bring Me Down" first, then I did "Heart & Soul" ;-) I went a little crazy with the "Pool It!" songs ;-)
(Mike just scratches his head - he doesn't recognize these songs.)
Lauren: Why would he? *grins*
Emma: (Explaining) Mike was a bit...busy...when these songs were recorded. :)
Lauren: He probably doesn't even know the album exists. ;-)
Peter: Why wouldn't Mike sing with us?
Emma: He was starting a TV channel at that time. ;)
Micky: Yeah, he was too busy basically fronting MTV.
Davy: (Juts a finger at Mike) 'Im, runnin' a 'ole bloody station?
(Mike, who still can't open his mouth, makes a face at Davy.)
Micky: Scary, isn't it? *grins*
Emma: Don't worry, Mike, you can still appear in the video. So...
(We launch into "Heart and Soul," which becomes a parody of all things 80s and includes clips of Mr. T, Ronald Regan, and - naturally - the MTV logo. ;) )
(Micky, as He-Man, shows off his "biceps" for an unimpressed Teela Lauren...until a mischiveous Orko Peter pokes a hole in them and deflates them.)
*An action which promptly makes Teela Lauren laugh.*
(Millions of tiny Smurfs run around Mike and Micky in Tyroleran garb. Mike has his hands over his ears - their singing is driving him crazy - but Micky happily plays the flute for them.)
(Davy looks into his watch next to a DeLorean while a wild-haired Micky looks on in a parody of the famous "Back to the Future" poster.)
(Lauren, Micky, Mike, and Davy, as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, run into each other and other objects in a cardboard "sewer," while Splinter Peter and April O'Neil Emma just shake their heads.)
(We see Mike and Emma, in "Indiana Jones" garb, briefly outrunning a rock that turns out to be a lot smaller than they first thought...the size of a pebble.)
(Micky and Lauren inspect a Wendy's burger, looking for "The Beef"...when Peter brings over a fake beef patty the size of St. Louis.)
(Emma and Mike sit on a moon...though Mike doesn't have much luck staying on and both are obviously bickering.)
(Cut to all six dressed in parodies of rock-star garb from the era, especially the girls, who look intentionally like they just walked out of "Jem and the Holograms.")
(The song ends with all six popping out of a row of lockers, "You Can't Do That On Television"-style, then slamming back in to reveal "The Monkees" emblazoned on the doors of the lockers.)
Emma: (Grins) And that's what we grew up on, gentlemen, more or less. ;)
Lauren: *cheers* Whoooo! Very cool! ;-)
Micky: You ladies grew up on some weird things, you know that? *grins*
Emma: You should have seen the 90s. ;)
Lauren: *waves a hand at him* You didn't even see the slap bracelets, Mick! ;-)
Emma: Or the plastic charms and Eddie Murphy comedies. ;)
(Mike points at his watch - he's getting impatient to continue the story.)
Lauren: *sighs* Afraid I'll have to agree with Mike, though I was having fun. ;-)
Emma: On with the story...
Davy: If I were that bloody bitch Lady Plaisir, where would I hide the glue solvant?
Emma: (Smirks) I think I have an idea...but I'll have to touch her. (Closes her eyes and opens them - she now holds rubber gloves, which she puts on.) Excuse me. (She goes to the Lady's smouldering corpse.)
Lauren: Uh oh. I think I know where this is leading to. *grins*
(Emma walks over to the broken TV set, carefully stepping over crackling wires. She leans over the remains of the Lady's considerable breasts, looking rather green herself. Mike frowns, confused.)
Davy: What's she doin'?
Lauren: *groans* I knew it!
Davy: (Grins weakly) Good lord...
(Mike just rolls his eyes.)
Emma: (Emerges with a slightly blackened but still usable small plastic tube) Where else would a former prostitute keep valuable possessions? ;) :p
Davy: I can name a place, but not in present company. :p
Lauren: *grumbles* Should've bet with someone.
Emma: Mike, sit down. I can't reach you when you're standing. (Mike settles in the chair Micky vacated. Emma gently tilts his head back and carefully rubs the solvant on his lips. After a few moments, his lips finally come apart. Mike grabs a paper towel and wipes his lips vigorously.)
Mike: (Gasping for air) Thank god! I thought I'd never be able to talk again!
Lauren: You aren't going to just yack on about any old thing now, are you? *smirks, quirking an eyebrow*
Mike: (Shakes his head) No, I'm going upstairs to tell the police what we know about those damn TV sets.
Micky: *realizes what Lauren refered to* Was that a jab at me?
Davy: (Nods at Lady Plaisir) Someone should tell the police about what happened to Lady Plaisir, too. We can't leave her there all night, and Martinelli will probably try to come back.
Lauren: It'd be nice to have some police here when he does. *smirks*
Mike: (Narrows his eyes) Martinelli is the other mind behind all this. He didn't care what Lady Plaisir did with the TV sets or us, as long as someone paid him.
(That's when the whole place suddenly comes alive at once. Stanton, Anna Maria, Peter, and the women come from one direction. Peter runs to Mike and embraces him, relieved to see his best friend talking again. Shrink, Martinelli, and the remaining factory workers come from another, and cops flow in from all sides.)
Peter: Michael, you're all right!(Sees Lady Plaisir and gasps, turning a bit green) Is that...her? What happened to her? :o
Mike: Yeah, it is her. Long story, buddy. We'll explain later.
Emma: Holy shit, I think we're being invaded!
Lauren: It's getting a little crowded in here!
Mike: (Points upwards) Split up and head for the top floors! We'll meet each other at the door and make a break for the entrance!
Davy: (Grins and salutes Mike) Rogah, oh fearless leadah! (Slaps Mike playfully on the shoulder) I never thought I'd be happy to 'ear you give ordahs again! ;)
Mike: (Grins) It's nice to be able to give orders again without having to go into a mime performance. ;)
Lauren: The miming was interesting to watch. ;-)
Peter: (As he follows his friend) But Davy, his name is Michael!
Emma: (Grabs Lauren as the boys go in the opposite direction) Come on, let's get out of here, before the groups all flatten us!
Lauren: I'm goin', I'm goin'!
(This launches into another romp, "All of Your Toys." The girls jump around cops who fight factory workers, women who scold male factory workers whom they aren't too happy with at the moment, and Martinelli herds the boys into the back of the factory. The six and Anna Maria at one point trip over each other into one big pile of arms and legs.)
(The romp ends with the girls gathering around as cops tie up some factory workers and women embrace others or give them an earful.)
Anna Maria: (Joins them as the music fades) Have either of you seen Davy? He's gone!
Stanton: We rounded up most of the factory workers, but there are still some with them, and Martinelli is nowhere to be found.
Lauren: We last saw the guys before the romp started.
Emma: I haven't seen any of them since the romp! :(
Lauren: *groans, slapping her forehead* Oh, so help me... 8-|
Emma: (Eyes widen) Oh, shit, Lauren, do you remember what happened to the guys at the end of "Head," who did it to them? :o :(
Lauren: *eyes widen also* Oh, shit!
Anna Maria: "Head?"
(That's when a truck roars through the ground floor of the factory; cops, women, and factory workers scatter everywhere. Vincent Martinelli sits on the end, looking extremely pleased with himself.)
Emma: The truck...OH F****** SHIT!!! STOP THAT TRUCK!!!!!
Lauren: Oh, Lordy, STOP HIM!!!
Stanton: Why?
Emma: He's got the guys!
Anna Maria: Davy! (She runs downstairs. Women and cops block the entrance. Vincent Martinelli gets off, his toothpaste smile blinding.)
Lauretta: (Her eyes blazing) All right, Martinelli, what ya got in the truck?
Emma: Anna Maria, get in a crane!
Anna Maria: Why?
Emma: He has the guys in that truck! We've got to somehow open it! (To Lauren) Laur, help the women stall Martinelli!
(Anna Maria starts to manipulate levers, slowing lowering a crane hook down to the ground floor.)
Lauren: *salutes* Yes, ma'am! *grins, then takes off to help the women*
(Lauren joins them as Lauretta steps in front of Martinelli.)
Lauretta: If this creep wants outta 'ere, 'e'll 'ave to get past me first!
Girl: (Joins Lauretta) And all o' us!
Middle-Aged Woman: That's tellin' 'im, Lauretta!
Lauren: *steps up next to Lauretta* Got any last words, Martinelli?
Martinelli: (Toothpaste smile) Now, ladies, what could possibly be wrong? I'm just going with these men to deliver radio parts to London for shipment to the Far East. Nothing could be more innoccuous.
Woman: We don't believe ya!
Lauretta: You're a bloomin' liar, Martinelli!
Lauren: Oh, please. Pull the other leg, why don't you? *narrows her eyes*
Cop: (He's a tall, slender, tough-looking grizzled man with a gray mustache and thick gray hair in a rumpled suit.) Mr. Martinelli, I'm Chief Inspector Alex Hamilton from Scotland Yard, and we got a tip from several very substantial sources that you and Miss Nora Olsen are wanted in several counties for illegal sexual activities, rape, and possible murder.
Martinelli: The reports were grossly exaggerated, Inspector, and I don't know a Miss Norah Olsen.
Chief Inspector Hamilton: Oh, but I think you do, Martinelli. You know her better as Lady Noira Plaisir, widow of Lord Maurice Plaisir and owner of the Plaisir media empire.
Lauren: *grins* Busted.
Martinelli: That's quite a name there, Inspector. Yes, she was my boss, but the things that went on here...
Lauretta: ....would shock Charles Manson! Don't try ta weasel outta it, Martinelli! I'll bet you were in on the 'ole thing from the beginning!
Lauren: *nods fiercely* He was definitely in on the whole damn thing!
Martinelli: Now, Inspector, I'm sure if you ask Lady Plaisir, she'll tell you that these women have obviously been watching far too many spy shows on TV. There's nothing going on here.
Lauren: *smirks* Slight problem with that.
Chief Inspector Hamilton: I'm afraid the Lady is now deceased, Martinelli. We found her wound with her own electrical cords in a gigantic TV set. (Glares) Now, what is in that truck again?
(The Inspector gets his answer as a crane hook suddenly flies down, barely missing taking off a few heads. It hooks onto the top of the truck, finally pulling the sides down to reveal a humongous fish tank...filled with some very human cargo.)
Emma: (Faint - she and Anna Maria are still in the cab) All right, Anna! Good work! :D
Lauren: Well, Martinelli?
(The four Monkees can be plainly seen pounding helplessly on the glass sides of the tank.)
Lauretta: (Shock written on her face) Will you look'ee that! 'E thinks them poor kids are fish, he does!
Martinelli: They...(feigns shock) How did they get in there?
Lauren: *sarcastic* They jumped in. *glares*
Martinelli: (Smirks) Yes, actually, they did jump in.
Chief Inspector Hamilton: Martinelli, that's just plain sick. (Nods at several cops) Get those kids outta there.
Lauren: Inspector, just let me pop him one in the jaw.
Chief Inspector Hamilton: (Shakes his head) As much as he deserves it, miss, you'll be better off helping my men get those boys out of there.
Lauren: Right! *runs over to where the cops have gathered*
(The boys float to the top as the cops pull the tank's roof off. Lauren helps the four sodden, trembling young men down a ladder to safety. Emma and Anna Maria join them, concerned. Davy throws his wet arms over Anna Maria, who doesn't mind that he's practically soaking her.)
Mike: (Grabs Emma and kisses her all over her neck and lips) Oh, thank god...thought he was actually gonna sell us, the bastard...
Emma: (Frowns) Sell you?
Micky: *wraps an arm around Lauren's shoulders* Jus' lemme lean on you for a while, babe. *grins shakily*
Peter: (Points at Martinelli) He was going to sell us to his brother's place in China!
Anna Maria: His brother's place?
Mike: (Makes a face) A brothel. Martinelli was going to separate us and sell us to brothels in Russia and the Far East. :p
Lauren: My God. :-O
Martinelli: Just wanted to make back the money on my original investment.
Emma: (Glares, under her breath, singing) "Just like all of your toys..."
Lauren: *groans* I'll never be able to listen to that song without thinking of this ever again. *rolls her eyes*
Martinelli: (Ducks away from the cops) Maybe I won't make back my money now (laughs), but I'll still take that little vacation to the Far East. I've always wanted to see China, the ruins of the Middle East, Egypt, Israel. (Decks several cops and jumps into the truck. The "truck" separates from the back, becoming a rather odd-looking car.)
Chief Inspector Hamilton: Get him! (Pulls out a walkie-talkie) Perpetrator has escaped, is armed and dangerous. Name is Vincent Martinelli, big man wearing a green-and-yellow tailored suit...yeah, I know, not the greatest taste...driving a late-model truck...er, car. Is somewhere in the vicinity of Churchill and Beecher Streets.
(The cops are already running out and getting into cars, following several more non-descript black cars with the words "Plaisir Media" painted on the sides. The kids follow.)
Anna Maria: Martinelli's getting away!
Davy: Not if we can 'elp it! (Closes his eyes - the jeep, the motorcycle, and the MonkeeMobile appear in a flash of blue light)
Anna Maria: (Gasps, her large brown eyes getting even wider) Oh, my God...
Peter: That's the power of the imagination! :D
Anna Maria: Is that how you did that? :o
Lauren: *grins* Very nice, Dave!
Davy: Long story, luv. (Grins at Lauren) Thank you. I thought so, too. ;)
(Davy climbs in the jeep; Anna Maria jumps in next to him. Mike and Emma get on the motorcycle and put on their helmets.)
Peter: Micky, how are you feeling? Do you think you're up to driving? After all, Lady Plaisir did do some nasty things to your head.
Micky: *pats Peter's shoulder* How 'bout I leave this one to you, Big Peter? *small grin*
Peter: (His sunshine smile could light whole continents) Yeah! (Gives Micky a big hug and literally leaps into the driver's seat. Lauren gets in next to him, and Micky goes in the seat behind them.)
Micky: If you need me, I'll be down here. *lays down*
Peter: (Grits his teeth in an attempt to look tough - the jeep and the motorcycle are already on their way out) Let's see what she can really do! (Slams his moccassin-ed foot down on the gas pedal, and the MonkeeMobile roars to life so fast, Lauren's head whips back. Micky snores, ignoring everything.) Fasten your seatbelts, folks, cause it's gonna be a bum"p"y (accents the "P") ride! ;)
Lauren: Way ahead of you, Pete!
(The jeep and the motorcycle join them in a wild car-chase melee to the tune of "Can You Dig It?" Cars go here, there, and everywhere. Cars leap other cars. Mike whips his motorcycle between cars, Emma clutching his thin chest for dear life. Peter grins as he maneuvers around a black Plaisir car, waving pleasantly at two factory workers, who look confused...as they run into a fruit seller's cart. The fruit seller is not happy; he pelts them with all the fruit he's got. Peter hands Lauren an apple from the fruit seller, which she gratefully accepts. He offers a peach to Micky, but Micky is still snoring away. Peter shrugs and eats the peach himself as two cars go flying overhead.)
(There's a blue light, and Davy's jeep is suddenly tall enough to go right over a Plaisir Media car...which runs into a barn, scaring all the animals. Davy and Anna Maria are seen spitting out feathers and throwing eggs over their shoulders as they rejoin the fracas.)
(More cars go flying, some in a parody of ballet. Two cars are following the MonkeeMobile. Peter grins and stops the car suddenly. Both cars go flying past him into a ditch. Micky rolls into the space between the seats, still snoring away.)
(Mike does some fancy work of his own as he tries to shake another Plaisir Media car. Mike leads them to a small brook and crosses a bridge. The car also attempts to cross the same bridge...but only ends up falling in the brook, it's owners shaking their fists at the grinning pair on the cycle.)
(As the song comes to an end, we see Martinelli's car speeding along a highway in the countryside between farms and estates. The MonkeeMobile, jeep, motorcycle, and the remaining cop cars follow him.)
Peter: (Points as Micky snorts and turns over in the back of the MonkeeMobile) There he is!
Lauren: Get 'im, Peter!
(Peter slams on the gas again and speeds in front of Martinelli. He stops the MonkeeMobile in the middle of the road and jumps out, effectively blocking the road with the big car. Lauren gets out as the jeep and the motorcycle come to a stop.)
Peter: (Puts out his hand) That's it, Martinelli! We aren't going to let you hurt anyone any more, and you're not going on vacation, either!
Davy: (As he and Anna Maria join Peter and Lauren) You're through, Martinelli. Your boss is dead. The Plaisir 2000 TVs were destroyed, and the only place you're going is a nice, cozy jail cell in Manchestah.
Lauren: You can have a nice long vacation there!
Mike: (He and Emma stand with their friends; crosses his arms) Oh, yeah, and I can talk again. That was a dirty trick, gluing my damn lips together. I could have died from starvation and lack of air, you know.
Emma: Not to mention all the other things you and Lady Plaisir did. Attempted rape, attempted murder, actual first and third degree murder, assault, cruel and unusual torture...you'll be lucky if you ever see sunlight again!
Davy: What was it to you, Martinelli? Why did you go along wit' 'er?
Martinelli: Oh, many things. Money, mostly. (Smirks) And she was damn good in bed. We'd been lovers since I was doing a B-movie in London and she was still a struggling actress. We stayed partners, even when she married that decrepid old geezer. She got his media empire and came up with the idea of the TVs. (Makes a face) Frankly, I thought the TV mind control idea was pure insanity. I knew she was off her nut, but who's gonna complain when their boss is paying them a million bucks to look pretty, be fun in the bedroom, and basically be the only man besides that sexless Shrink she's not trying to bend like a brittle stick?
Davy: (Clenches his fists) You bastard! You killed four factory workahs, almost killed my friends several times, and let your bloomin' Looney-Tunes girlfriend brainwash me best friend in the world! You ought to 'ang for all of this!
Martinelli: Shrink was responsible for the factory workers. I would have just turned them over to Noira and sent them home confused, but he thought it was best to get rid of anyone who knew too much. (Smirks) Oh, and the next time you buy a Plaisir Media TV, check the cardboard on the box. You might just run into bits and pieces of your buddy Harry Morris. Shrink offed him the afternoon after all of you took off.
Peter: (Turns green again) That isn't very nice.
Lauren: *growls* That's just sick!
Davy: You sick bastard, you're just as looney as she is!
Peter: You can't do that to people!
Martinelli: (He's a bit green, too) That's Shrink for you. Not a warm bone in his whole body. The factory is his life, love, liberty, and soul. He'd do anything to keep it from falling down around him. Noira never knew about the murders. She wanted experiments, not meat pies.
(Davy stands nose-to-nose with Martinelli)
Davy: Martinelli, you can come quietly, or you can come the othah way.
Mike: Oh, come on! You're outnumbered and the cops are right behind us.
Martinelli: (Pushes past Davy) I'd just as soon take my vacation in the Bahamas, shorty!
Davy: Oh, no, you don't! (Grins at Peter) You know what I think you need, Martinelli? (Grabs him as hard as his short arms can around the waist) I think you need another bloomin' 'ug!
Peter: (City-lighting grin) Me, too! (Also grabs Martinelli in a huge hug...and he's got more experience with crushing hugs than Davy)
Lauren: *chants* Hug, hug, hug...
Mike: (Throws his hands in the air) Love-in! (Wraps his arms around Martinelli's shoulders; Emma, who's shorter, takes his chest just above Davy, giggling. Anna Maria grabs his back)
Lauren: Lemme in there! *dives for Martinelli's legs and wraps her arms around his ankles*
(Martinelli's gasping for air as the cops arrive...and almost all of them skid to a stop at the sight of the little group and either double over laughing or scratch their heads in confusion.)
Chief Inspector Hamilton: (Scratches his head) Well, this is the most interestin' method of apprehendin' criminals I evah saw...(grins) but it seems to be highly effective. I might have to teach this to some of my men. ;)
Martinelli: (Roars) Get 'em offa me, I can't breathe!
Davy: That's the bloody idea! ;)
Lauren: *chuckles* Good! ;-)
(The cops finally pry the kids off of Martinelli. The Chief Inspector slaps the cuffs on him)
Chief Inspector Hamilton: Vincent Martinelli, you're under arrest for three counts of kidnapping, two counts of attempted murder, four counts of accessory to murder, and two counts of cruel and unusual torture.
Martinelli: I don't care where you send me or what you throw at me, Inspector (glares at the group, wild-eyed) JUST GET ME AWAY FROM THOSE KIDS!
Lauren: *waves, calling out* Please forget to write!
Mike: Yeah, cause we don't wish you were here! ;)
(Two cops lead Martinelli away as the Chief Inspector turns to the six kids leaning against the various vehicles. Micky finally pops his head out, yawning and still looking a tad spaced.)
Micky: Hey, what's going on?
Davy: (Puts his hand on Micky's shoulder) We got Martinelli, Micky. Long story. ;)
Micky: *grins* Oh. That's good. :-)
Peter: Yeah, you missed the car chase romp! You slept right through it! :D
Mike: We'll have to show it to you in re-runs. ;)
Micky: *frowns* It won't be the same, though. ;-)
Hamitlon: (Sighs and joins the kids) You will all be 'appy to know that my men found Inspectah Shrink tied up near the conveyor belts. Seems the female factory workahs caught up with 'im and 'is boys before we arrived.
Anna Maria: I helped tie him. ;)
Hamilton: (Scratches his head) From what we've gathahed, the Lady Plaisir wasn't always a Lady, or a Plaisir, for that mattah. Apparently, 'er birth name was Nora Martinique Olsen. 'Er mum was a whore, and she nevah knew 'er da. She grew up in brothels. She tried for a movie career, which is 'ow she met Martinelli, and when that didn't work out, went back to the oldest profession. 'Er looks and actin' abilities brought in a lot of 'igh class clientele. She seems to 'ave met the Lord Plaisir through them. We don't know the 'ole story, but she kept right on with the business aftah she married Plaisir, and possibly even aftah 'e died.
Lauren: *snorts* We figured that much.
Hamilton: 'Er experiences as a 'ookah left 'er bittah against men...except Martinelli, whom seemed to be 'er partnah, before, during, and after 'er marriage to Plaisir. We found the plans for the TVs in the safe in 'er (makes a face) "office." Seems she was tryin' to distort male minds to make them eithah extremly violent or the opposite direction, extremely pliable and obedient.
Micky: *groans* Know that first hand.
Hamilton: She didn't care nothin' 'bout women, 'ccordin' to Shrink, Martinelli, and the female factory workahs. She could have took or left them, preferably the lattah. She wanted revenge on the male species, pure and simple, and the media and sexual desires were the only things she knew how to take advantage of enough to gain that revenge.
Mike: (Crosses his arms) Sometimes though, as they say, revenge really is a dish best served cold...or at least warmed over.
Hamilton: Precisely, young man. To put it bluntly, she went off the deep end. Shrink was just as bloody crackahs as she was, totally dedicated to the factory and the Plaisir empire. We don't know what Martinelli's role in all of this was. Probably the money.
Anna Maria: (Raises her hand) I can vouch for her behavior, at least toward the women in the factory. She wasn't crazy or bitter with us, just snobby, like she was a tiny bit better than the rest of us.
(Another cop comes up with Stanton in handcuffs. Davy's eyes nearly pop out of his sockets and he leaps at him. It takes Peter and Mike to hold him back.)
Davy: You bastard! You nearly got us all killed, brainwashed, and sold into prostitution! You were on 'er side the 'ole time! X-(
Mike: Let him explain, Dave!
Peter: (With his big, pleading brown eyes) Mr. Stanton?
Stanton: (Hangs his head) Let David kill me, Michael.
Mike: Not until you tell us your part in all this.
Stanton: I honestly didn't see anything wrong with it. We really did believe there was something wrong going on in the factories. That much was apparent. She wanted to meet all of you and have you take a few simple paper surveys for her experiments...or so I thought. I figured it would kill two birds with one stone. She'd get what she wanted, and we'd get help in finding out what happened to those missing men. (Shakes his head, his eyes genuinely sorrowful) I had no idea she had more than a simple paper test in mind for you! Harry Morris....when he vanished, we knew something was wrong. And he had family... (Hangs his head) By the time I found out what she did to all of you and Morris, it was too late. I went to her to try to get her to lay off, but she was completely insane by then. She laughed in my face, called me a puppet and a loser. I'm lucky she didn't send me to Shrink to be shredded...althought I would have deserved it.
Anna Maria: (Frowns) What you did was very wrong, Mr. Stanton, but at least you realize it was wrong. Neither Shrink nor Martinelli nor Lady Plaisir seemed to understand that what they did hurt people very badly...and even killed them. Who knows if the minds of those poor factory workers will ever be right again?
Davy: (He's still mad) You honestly thought, aftah she panted over us all during the party, that all she wanted us for were bloody papah tests?
Stanton: (Shrugs) None of you are unattractive. I did think she overdid it, but she is always that way around new young men, since there's so few in the wealthy circles in Manchestah.
Micky: *with a touch of sarcasm* Oh, so then it was because I have a pretty face. *rolls his eyes, then props his head up, resting it on the side of the MonkeeMobile*
Peter: And what about us? She glued Mike's lips together, tried to...(can't quite get the words out)...play with Micky twice, and brainwashed Micky, Mike, and me!
Stanton: (Sighs sadly) I finally put my foot down after I found out what she did to Michael and Micky. That went much too far. She'd told me you'd all had too much to drink, which I did not believe. I honestly didn't want it to go this far. Sebastian really did tell me how well you caught criminals in America, and I thought, well, a group of kids taking a tour of a factory...how could that rouse suspiscion? I knew there would be some dangah, hense the reason I sent Harry Morris aftah you, but not to the extent of what happened. :(
Davy: Look what 'appened to 'arry Morris! 'E's now a bloody packin' crate! That almost ended up bein' us! Stanton, if I were me Grandfathah, I'd nevah speak to you again! You put us all in the line of dangah! (Points angrily at Micky) And look at 'im! She tried to mess with 'is bloomin 'ead again this evenin! If 'e's even the slightest bit 'urt, I'm 'oldin' you responsible, Stanton!
Mike: (Puts his hand on Davy's shoulder) Davy, cool it. Stanton feels bad enough as it is.
Micky: *lightly* C'mon, Dave, ease up.
Chief Inspector Hamilton: Well, kids, I'm going to take him back to Sebastian's house and see if he wants to press charges, but seems like 'e were 'oodwinked as much as the rest o' ya. (Frowns) Stanton, I'm gonna say straight out that this may cost you your job.
Stanton: (Shakes his head) I understand.
Davy: (Sighs, finally controlling his hot temper) Stanton, on one 'and, you did put us in the line of fire.
Peter: He didn't realize it, though, Davy. He was just trying to help.
Davy: It's really up to Grandfathah, but I doubt 'e'll press charges.
Emma: (Nods) Mr. Stanton did what he thought was right...even if it didn't turn out that way.
Mike: Seems that not-much-of-a-"Lady" Plaisir/Olsen had him under her spell, too.
Stanton: Thanks, kids. This means a lot.
Chief Inspector Hamilton: (Nods at the group) We'll let you kids go back to Sebastian's estate and rest, then take statements from all of you. Meet you back at the estate in about an hour. (The walkie-talkie squawks as he leads Stanton away) Criminal apprehended, along with at least one more and another possibly innocent accessory in custody.
Davy: (Looks over his shoulder at the weary group) 'ow 'bout we all just go 'ome, gang? (Grins) If we go now, we should get back in time for tea. Eugenia will probably 'ave sandwiches and 'er famous chocolate and fudge biscuits waitin' out in the garden. ;)
Micky: *gives a lopsided grin* Man, I could really go for that right now.
Mike: (Rubs his stomach) I'd eat the lug nuts from the motorcycle about right now, Dave. Remember, Mick and I didn't get to eat at that little spread Lady Plaisir-the-not-lady had out. ;)
Peter: (Claps his hands) Yeah, a tea party! :D
Davy: (Puts his hands out to Anna Maria) You're invited too, Anna. Unless you have to go back to work...
Anna Maria: (Winks and takes his arm as they stroll back to the jeep) I think I'll call in busy to work this evening, Davy. ;)
Lauren: Well, Dave got his girl. ;-)
Emma: This is his imagination. Did you think he wouldn't? ;)
Lauren: He would in anyone's imagination. *grins*
Mike: (Winks) And don't forget all those pretty little maids back at Granddad Sebastian's estate. ;)
Peter: The one with the short blue hair is very nice...and the tall one...
Micky: *shakes his head* Davy's got a sick imagination. *smirks*
Emma: From here on in, he's not allowed to watch any more late-night B action films. :P
Lauren: We'll make sure of that.
Mike: Gotta lay off the Republic serials, too.
Micky: And anything rated higher than PG.
Mike: Man, if he ever imagines my lips glued together again, I'll slap him so silly, he'll be playing the tambourine with his toes! :p
Micky: I wanna know what he's doin' imagining me...uh, nevermind, I don't want to know.
Peter: Remember what happened when we were in Mike's imagination! Some bandit lady tried to play with me, too!
Emma: Lauren got kidnapped and I almost got raped. (Frowns)
Lauren: We seem to have recurring themes here. *quirks an eyebrow*
Emma: That's it. Pete gets the next story.
Peter: (City-lighting grin) I do? Yeah! :D
Micky: And don't forget the poorest victim around here!
Emma: You'll do the next action story. ;)
Lauren: I'm still worrying about what you come up with, Mick. *grins*
Micky: *waves it off* Awe, c'mon, babe...
Mike: (Rolls his eyes as he and Emma climb on the motorcycle) I don't even wanna contemplate it. His mind is more evil than the rest of us put together.
Micky: Wha? Mike, you wound me! *lopsided grin*
Mike: (Points at Lauren) No, she does that. ;)
*Lauren waves, grinning.*
Micky: *blinks* Oh, yeah.
Peter: Micky, you're always watching horror films and reading weird comic books. We'll probably end up fighting big monsters and trapped by some weird villainous alien or something! :o
Micky: Or something. *grins* My brain's a little too fried at the moment, though.
Emma: I'm sure he'll come up with something after he gets a good nap in a more comfortable bed than the back of the MonkeeMobile. (Waves as she and Mike take off) We'll meet you at home, kids!
Lauren: Kids? *makes a face worthy of Micky*
Peter: (sighs) Sometimes, I think Mama Bear and Papa Wolf forget their cubs are all grown up (grins at Micky) physically, anyway. ;)
Micky: Ha ha ha. *gives a razz, then slumps back down on the seat* I'm goin' back to sleep.
Peter: (Nods and pulls a ratty, fringed blanket over Micky) Night, Mick. We're not that far from Grandfather Sebastian's estate. I can see it over the horizon. We'll wake you up when we get there.
*Micky snores in response.*
Lauren: *smirks* As long as he's okay for the wedding, that's all I care about now.
Peter: (Smiles) Let him sleep it off, Lauren. He'll be fine. (Smiles warmly) Come on, Lauren, let's go home, before the others eat all the tea goodies. ;)
Lauren: Good idea, Peter. I'm starving! ;-)
(Brief montage of all three vehicles and several cop cars riding over the English countryside. We see the MonkeeMobile pull in behind the jeep and the motorcycle, and Lauren and Peter help a still-sleepy Micky into the house. Lauren and Peter emerge in clean clothes at the tea, where the others, also in clean clothes and showered, sit with Grandfather Sebastian and Lady Alice Carlisle, eating biscuits and sandwiches, drinking tea and coffee, and talking about recent events.)
Peter: (As he and Lauren pull up chairs) Micky's in Davy's bedroom, still sleeping.
Lauren: *grins* The buzzsaw is at it again.
Davy: 'Ow's 'e comin', anyway? 'E still outta it?
Mike: She really did a number on him.
Lauren: *sighs* Yeah. He just seems groggy now. I think he'll be okay once he sleeps it off.
Lady Carlisle: Sebastian and your friends told me what 'appened at the factory with Lady Plaisir...Nora Olsen. (Puts her hand on Lauren's) You poor kid. You and your young man 'ave been through the bloody reaches of 'ell and back, you 'ave.
Lauren: No kidding. *lets out a breath* I'm just glad Mick's still in one piece.
Lady Carlisle: How did all of you escape?
Davy: (groans) One of the great long stories, Lady Carlisle.
Lauren: Yeah. Which escape would you like?
Peter: We almost didn't! Martinelli had us in a tank! He was going to send us to his brother's place in the far east!
Sebastian: (Frowns) What?
Lauren: No, Peter. *rolls her eyes*
Mike: Martinelli was going to sell the four of us into prostitution in Asia. Lady Plaisir/Olsen must have promised him a share of the profits from the TVs...which we destroyed.
Sebastian: (Nearly chokes on his tea - Lady Carlisle slaps him hard on the back) What? That's monstrous!
Lauen: Should've seen the fish tank they were being hauled in.
Sebastian: A fish tank?
Peter: He and his men had us trapped and we had nowhere else to go, so we jumped.
Davy: Didn't realize the damn fish tank were in a truck 'till it were too late and Martinelli were already haulin' it out.
Mike: Martinelli's way of transporting us out of there without being found out.
Sebastian: They were both mad!
Mike: (Shakes his head) Martinelli wasn't. He just wanted his profits, and when it became quite obvious the TVs weren't going anywhere but the scrap heap, he turned to other means.
Peter: Inspector Shrink was crazy, though! He turned people into cardboard boxes!
Mike: Don't even get me started on that Lady Plaisir. (Rolls his eyes)
Lauren: Don't get any of us started on her.
Sebastian: I've never liked that woman, but I didn't believe she'd try something as monstrous as mind control!
Mike: Among other things.
Emma: She glued Mike's lips together (he winces even as she mentions it), then captured him just to torment him.
Mike: I don't think she was thrilled with my speech to her at tea yesterday.
Lady Carlisle: Glued the poor bloke's lips, just 'cause 'e spoke up? (Angrily) If I evah get my 'ands on that bitch...
Lauren: *grins* No need.
Emma: (Grins) Lauren took care of that for you. The "Lady" Plaisir fell into one of her own TVs after she attacked Lauren over Micky. She was strangled with the TV's extra-long electrical wires when she struggled to free herself.
Lady Carlisle: (Winces herself; Peter pales at the mere memory) A fittin' end, if you ask me. Gruesome, but fittin'.
Lauren: I thought so. *smirks*
Sebastian: What was Stanton's part in all of this? He did absolutely nothing to help any of you. I'm highly disappointed with him.
Davy: (Sighs) Apparently, she tricked Stanton into thinkin' she were just givin' us 'armless papah tests...but even then, 'e 'ad 'is doubts.
Mike: That's why he sent Harry Morris after us.
Peter: He didn't realize that something was really wrong until Harry Morris didn't come back...and then, it was too late.
Sebastian: And what happened to those factory workers?
Emma: Under mind control, almost every single one. She'd been drugging them and using them for "experiments."
*Lauren involuntarily growls at the word "experiments".*
Davy: She gave them that orangy-red liquid to sedate them, then lured them to 'er TVs and bent their minds to be obedient or violent, dependin' on what she needed.
Emma: (Sighs sadly) She kidnapped Micky, Mike, and Peter for those experiments...and not on paper, either.
Peter: I guess I wasn't fast enough for her, and Mike must have resisted too much.
Mike: She kinda latched onto Micky, which didn't sit well with Lauren, as you may well imagine.
*Lauren's eyes narrow, but she remains silent.*
Lady Carlisle: Should have known she'd try to force 'er bloomin' looney self on somethin' she couldn't 'ave.
Peter: She wanted Micky because he understands the concepts that ran her TVs better than anyone...or she thought so, anway. Micky spent his life manipulating fantasy and reality, which is what she was doing. She wanted to harness that ability, that knowledge of what the mind sees as real and what it sees as fantasy...and make fantasy reality, and reality fantasy. That's why our dreams were so vivid that night, and so terrible. She wanted us to dream those dreams. Fear makes one easier to control. That's why she did what she did to you, Mike. She wanted you to fear her.
Mike: No kiddin'.
Sebastian: Dreams?
Mike: We had these awful nightmares the night after she grabbed Mick, Pete, and me the first time.
Emma: From what we could gather, each nightmare represented something the boys were deathly afraid of.
Mike: I dreamed of a party where I lashed out at everyone, insulted a cripple, and got Davy, Mick, and me tossed in the slammer. (Looks down sadly) I hate losin' control. It makes me feel helpless...powerless...like the little kids in Texas no one wants.
Peter: (Nods) Mine was of being caught in the war and having to participate in combat, two subjects I'm not particuarly fond of. I don't like fighting or causing harm.
Lauren: Micky dreamed he was in a desert. His was loneliness.
Davy: 'E hates bein' alone. Scares 'im to death, it does.
Sebastian: And because you were all afraid, and the dreams seemed real.
Mike: She probably had an easier time controling us that way...or would have, if Dave and the girls hadn't saved us.
Sebastian: I'm glad you're all home and safe. After all that you've been through, you deserve a long rest.
Lady Carlisle: Are you still doin' the weddin', or are you going to postpone it?
Lauren: As far as I know, we're still holding it. We were thinking of maybe using the rose garden, if that's okay. But... it's up to Mick.
Sebastian: If you wish to be married there, that would be fine. In fact, nothing would make me happier. (Smiles at Davy, who is gazing at a blushing Anna Maria) Except for to see my own grandson finally walk down the eisle.
Davy: Grandfathah, I've told you, I ain't ready to go there yet.
(Anna Maria and Davy both turn red.)
Lauren: *smiles* Thank you, that means a lot. :-)
Sebastian: It's the least I could do for you, after all you and Micky have been through. The rose garden is a lovely place, especially at this time of year. I used to walk there with my wife Cordelia before she passed on. We spent many a summer's night, talking about everything and nothing under the trellis. (Gives Davy a look) Besides, it seems I may never get my grandson out there.
Davy: Someday, Grandfathah. Just not now.
(The tall, dark-complexioned maid Trista comes up to the tea party.)
Trista: Chief Inspectah Hamilton is here, sir. He wishes to talk to each of the young people in turn, starting with Peter Tork.
Peter: (Nods) I'll do my best. (Goes with her.)
Davy: (Puts his arm around Anna Maria) Why don't all of you go see if Micky's awake until 'Amilton needs ya? (Grins) I've got business in the rose garden. ;)
Anna Maria: With whom?
Davy: (As he and Anna Maria walk off into the rapidly descending darkness) With the loveliest American Beauty Rose in the garden. ;)
Anna Maria: (Faint) Oh, Davy... (she and Davy turn a corner and are gone)
Sebastian: (Nods at the other three) Run along. Alice and I will be fine here. We've got our own arrangements to discuss, if there's to be a wedding here at all, not to mention what to do about all of these goings on. Go see your friend. He probably needs you more than anyone else at the moment, including the police.
Mike: (nods) Thanks, Grandfather. You've been a real help.
Lauren: Thank you, Grandfather!
Sebastian: I only wish I could do more for all of you...and that Stanton never got you involved in any of this.
Lady Carlisle: I'd like to slap 'is silly arse, but there's no cryin' over spilled milk now. We've got to move on (winks) and 'elp these kids get 'itched propah, before any othah bloomin' ladies try to separate them! ;)
Lauren: There better not be any others, or else they'll have to deal with me!
Emma: (Grins) And I wouldn't wish that on almost anybody...(wickedly)...except Lady Plaisir.
(As everyone chuckles, the four give their leave and walk upstairs. Lauren knocks gently on the door to Davy's room.)
Lauren: Mick?
Micky: (Mumbling) It's open. Come in.
(The four enter...and nearly trip over a cacaphony of clothes, comic books, magazines, papers, luggage, Davy's tambourine and maracas, Micky's drumsticks, blankets, pillows, sleeping bags, and posters featuring half-naked pin-ups. Ursula Andress gazes slinkily down at them from a huge blow-up poster above Davy's bed. Micky sits on the bed, now dressed in a dry pair of shorts and a T-shirt, looking a bit groggy but generally more awake.)
Mike: Damn, what happened? Did the whole army troop through here?
Lauren: Feels like home. *smirks*
Emma: You guys been keeping herds of wild elephants in this room? ;)
Micky: No, just in my head. (Groans a bit)
Lauren: *moves to the side of his bed* Mind if I sit?
Micky: (Grins) Sure! Sit anywhere you'd like. (Indicates his lap) Including here. ;)
Mike: Well, nice to know his hormones weren't affected. ;)
Lauren: I get the feeling he's okay. (To Micky) I'll sit next to you, thank you. *sits down*
Emma: Micky, are you all right?
Micky: Other than the entire Mongolian army seems to have taken resididence in my head, yeah, I'm fine. (Grins) I've gotten better. Used to be the whole Russian army in there. ;)
Lauren: I'll say that's better. ;-)
Micky: Man, what a freaky afternoon. When that...woman...tried that again, I thought I'd go crazy. (Frowns) How did it stop, man? The lights and the pleasure repeating over and over...how did it all stop?
Mike: (Grins) Lauren.
*Lauren blushes, shrugging.*
Emma: Lady Plaisir ran into her own TV set trying to get away from Lauren. She got strangled in the cords, then fried.
Micky: (Winces) Man, effective. Not pleasant, not even cute, but effective. So, the not-so-good Lady is no longer among the land of the living?
Mike: Hopefully, she's down in the farthest reaches of hell with Zero where she belongs. :p
Lauren: Better be.
Emma: She strangled herself to death trying to escape the TV set.
Micky: What about Martinelli? I didn't see all of that.
Emma: (Smirks) Shame you had to miss the car-chase romp, Mick. It was really something. Cars and cycles and Davy's jeep were flyin' all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Mike: We confronted Martinelli (grins wickedly) and hugged him into submission. ;)
Lauren: Wish I'd had a camera. *smirks*
Mike: The look on his face alone was worth more than a million words. ;)
Emma: Lady Plaisir didn't have anything to do with the murders, though. That was purely Shrink and his men.
Mike: Her way was to brainwash them...but the guys wanted it to be permenant. Shrink was the one who shredded them, though, at least according to Martinelli. (Growls) Harry Morris was another one of the victims.
*Lauren shakes her head.*
Micky: (Eyes widen) That guy who was following us...
Emma: (Narrows her eyes angrily)...got shredded too, according to Martinelli.
Micky: (Frowns) What about Stanton? I seem to remember he was involved in this, too!
Mike: From what we've gathered, Stanton was set up to lure us to Lady Plaisir...but he didn't fully trust her, which is why he sent Harry Morris after us.
Emma: Stanton honestly didn't seem to have any idea of what Lady Plaisir had in store for you guys. She told him she was giving you paper tests.
Mike: He caught on when Harry Morris vanished, but by that time, they'd probably already gotten their hands on us.
Lauren: *mutters* In more ways than one.
Emma: (Sighs) To make a long story short...
Mike: (Grins) Too late, Em. ;)
*Lauren grins.*
Emma: (Shakes her head) Stanton is innocent of everything except for bad spying, naietivity, and carelessness.
Mike: He'll probably lose his job, but it doesn't sound like Grandfather Sebastian is going to press charges.
Micky: Oh, man, this is too much. (Looks at Emma and Mike) Can I have a moment with Lauren alone, guys? We need to talk.
Emma: (Nods) Sure.
Mike: They'll probably want statements from us downstairs, anyway, if they can get Peter to shut up about all that reality and fantasy stuff.
Lauren: *grins* Good luck.
Emma: (Puts her arm around Mike) Mike, it was the crux around which the whole thing rested! That's what she was doing!
Mike: All I know is she was messin' with heads... (the two walk out, leaving Lauren and Micky alone)
Micky: (Grins) He STILL doesn't get it. :)
Lauren: Probably never will. :-)
Micky: Won't stop Em from trying to make him get it, though. ;)
Lauren: That's for sure. ;-) *shakes her head*
Micky: Lauren, I....God, I... (He takes her in his arms and kisses her as deeply but gently as he possibly can. They're still holding each other after he's through.) I've never been so scared in my entire life!
Lauren: You and me both.
Micky: She was totally in La-La Land. What she did to Mike alone would qualify her for the looney bin in California. What she did to me would make them throw the key into the nearest incinerator and slip in bread and water through the keyhole! I never want to let anyone try to get between us like that again!
Lauren: Me either.
Micky: I don't remember what happened after the wine. I guess I passed out. I'd felt light-headed the whole time. I thought I had too much. I don't remember what happened until I woke up in that chair halfway up the ceiling, nose-to-nose with the TV from hell. (Smirks) Now I know why they call TV a vast wasteland. ;) :p
Lauren: *laughs lightly* Yeah, no kidding.
Micky: It's kind of hazy after that until I came to in the MonkeeMobile and you guys were chattin' with the fuzz.
Lauren: Apparently, even when you rolled off the seat, it didn't wake you. *smirks*
Micky: I rolled off the seat? (Grins) Didn't think the bottom of the car was that comfortable. Lauren...(hesitant, shy)...you still want to get married, right?
Lauren: How's this for an answer? I asked Grandfather about the rose garden. *smiles*
Micky: WAAAAAAHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (Grabs Lauren and hugs her, then puts his head in his hands) Oh, man, I think I just hurt my own head. :p ;)
Lauren: Please, no more getting hurt! *grins*
Micky: I'm still the happiest man on two continents! When do you want to do the deed? ;)
Lauren: I'm assuming you mean the ceremony. When do you think you'll be able to stand up long enough for it? ;-)
Micky: (Thinks) Tommorow evening, right at sunset? (Grins) "When the moon hits her eyes like a big pizza pie..."
Lauren: *laughs* That sounds great, but I had a different song in mind.
Micky: (Grins) "Love Light." ;) :x
Lauren: I considered that, but I was actually thinking of "I'll Spend My Life With You." *smiles*