You boys ready to find what goes bump in the night? ;)
Mike: If it won't kill me or try to seduce me, sure. ;)
Peter: Let’s go!
Micky: That sounds safe enough.
Lauren: I'm ready! :D
Davy: Me too. :)
(We open on the front lawn of the Montgomery House, about a month after the July-set tag sequence of "Way to a Bard's Heart." Several moving vans, including Larry McNulty's, stand on the curb. Three or four large men in coveralls are joined by Larry McNulty and the four Monkees. Valerie directs traffic. Emma and Lauren sit with the Dolenz twins on a blanket on one side of the wrap-around porch, watching the action.)
Larry: (Grins at Peter as the two of them carry a plush armchair into the house) Thanks for hiring me, Peter.
Peter: You're welcome! Well, it was really Valerie who hired you. I told her you were the best in the entire San Fernando Valley! :D
Larry: (Blushes) Well, I don't know about that...
Mike: (Comes out, drinking a Pepsi) You helped carry all of Millie's furniture in our place, didn't you? And she's got a TON! :p
Larry: Millie is a bit of a pack rat. She has a hard time letting go of things.
Mike: (Gets out of the two men's way as they head in) No kidding. And I thought the PAD was cluttered. You should have seen it after Millie moved in. :p
Micky: *comes out next* This is MUCH easier. ;)
Davy: (Follows him) Yeah, I can actually move aftah this! ;)
Micky: I still beat Mike to the door that day. ;)
Mike: Barely. ;)
Emma: (Fans herself with one of the twins' cloth books) God, it's hot. Why does it have to be so damn HOT in August in California? :p
Mike: Darlin', do you need anything?
Emma: Yes. Have this baby for me. :p
Lauren: *smirks* Oh, if only... ;)
Mike: Now, darlin', I know you're hot and the baby's overdue, but we can't do nuthin' till she comes out.
Emma: I feel like a great big tub of lard. :p
Mike: You look gorgeous to me. :X
Micky: *slaps Mike on the back* You sweet talker, you! ;)
Emma: (Groans) Stop trying to be nice. I KNOW I look like a beached whale. (Lays down on the blankets on the porch)
Lauren: Oh, come on, Em. :P
Mike: (Sits down on a wicker chair as Micky and Davy go to the moving vans and bring out a table) Darlin', you've been cranky for over a week. You're drivin' Davy and me nuts. The baby will come out when she's ready.
Emma: You aren't the one with a life inside you that keeps kicking and puching and probably speaking profanity you can't hear. You aren't the one who's the size of Magilla Gorilla and about as attractive. You can see your feet. You can move without help. You don't have everyone in the entire universe asking you if you and your child are "fine" every two minutes. :p
Mike: We're worried about you.
Emma: (Gulps) I'm just....what's wrong with me? I wish she'd just come out! :p
Mike: She ain't ready yet, Em, that's all.
Emma: (Almost a whine) Why?
Mike: 'Cause she ain't.
*Lauren covers her ears.* ;) :P
(Micky and Davy are making their way up to the porch with the table.)
Davy: Be careful, Mick! This is Valerie's table! It probably costs millions!
Micky: I AM being careful! YOU be careful, Dave! :P
Davy: I'm not the one who almost dropped it!
Mike: If it cost millions, she wouldn't be letting you two handle it. ;)
Micky: Hey!? :P
Davy: Now, what's wrong with 'ow we 'andle things?
Micky: It'd be easier on me if you held your end up higher! :P
Lauren: Do you want the whole list or the Reader's Digest version? ;) :P
Micky: Ha ha ha. *sticks his tongue out*
Davy: This is as 'igh as I can go. (makes a face) Very funny, Lauren. :p
Lauren: *shrugs* I thought so. ;)
(The two boys, with much grumbling and bumping, finally make it up to the porch with the table.)
Lauren: *claps* Very good, guys! Not much further now. ;)
Davy: (Frowns) 'Ow are we gonna get it through the door?
Mike: Try turnin' it on its side.
Micky: See, like this, Dave... *starts to turn his end*
Davy: 'Ey, wait for me, Mick! (Turns his end)
Micky: Well, don't lag behind!
Davy: I've got shortah legs than you do! :p
Micky: Excuses, excuses! :P
(The two finally manage to pull the table into the house. As they do, Peter, Larry, Valerie, and a few other men walk out.)
Larry: I'll go check, but that should be about all of it.
Peter: I'll go, too. :) (The pair go check the vans, joined by the other men.)
Valerie: (Smiles) Hi, girls. We're going to set up for the housewarming party as soon as the moving men leave. (Looks up at the rapidly darkening sky) We'd better get it started soon, too. The last time we had a big party like this, we got stranded with no power, no phone, and Lauren went into labor. :p
(Emma just groans from on the porch.)
Lauren: Yeah, nothing like a little bit of deja vu. *makes a face* :P
Valerie: Em, are you ok?
Emma: I'm almost two weeks overdue. I'm hot and sweaty and the size of Canada. Do you THINK I'm ok? :p
Lauren: I'm gonna take that as a "no." :P
Mike: She's been like that since the due date came and went and the kid didn't come out.
Valerie: Emma, the due date is an approximation, not an exact science.
Lauren: That's right.
Emma: (Struggles back up with Lauren's help) I just want this kid OUT. It wasn't bad back in the spring, when it was cooler and I wasn't the Goodyear Blimp. I still want to have a child...just NOT in my body.
Lauren: Just think of how happy you WILL be when you have the baby. :)
Mike: (Takes her hand) I can't wait to hold her for the very first time. She'll be like the twins when they were babies, all soft and sweet...but she'll be OURS. :)
Lauren: Yeah, & not mobile, either. :P Little Mick, get back here! *follows after the little boy who's crawling away on the porch*
Emma: Yeah.... (Her eyes tear as he takes her hand)
Valerie: (Sees Shelly following her brother) Hey, there, young lady! Come back! (Follows her)
Lauren: *returns holding Little Mick, who's giggling* You think you're so funny, don't you? :P
Valerie: (Catches the baby girl, then turns to Lauren with a grin) Of course he does. He's Micky's son. ;)
Mike: They must drive you bonkers, Lauren...and I don't just mean the twins. ;)
Lauren: *sighs* And not a good role model for his sister, either. *nods at Mike* Yes, all THREE drive me nuts. ;) :P
Micky: *comes out the door* I heard that! ;)
(Larry and Peter come back on the porch.)
Peter: Everything's in the house! :)
Micky: Good! :)
Larry: Ok, kids. Oh (hands Peter two boxes), here's Millie's housewarming present. One's her coconut cheesecake. The other is sugar cookies. :)
Peter: Oh, wow! They'll be great for the party! :)
Larry: We wish we could come, but I've got an out-of-town delivery, and Millie's going to a baker's convention in San Diego. (Smiles) We both wish the two of you the best of luck, though.
Valerie: Thank you, Larry. (Tries to reach into her pocket, but Shelly is grabbing at her blouse)
Larry: Oh, consider this my housewarming present for you, Valerie. You're good kids. You all deserve to be happy. :)
Peter: Wow. (Hands Micky the boxes and gives Larry a big hug) Thank you! That's so nice! :)
Micky: Oooooh... =P~
Larry: (He's almost knocked off the porch) You...you're welcome, young man.
Lauren: Oh, no. Mick, give me those and take your son! :P
(Mike and Emma chuckle)
*Micky does as told & sticks his tongue out at Lauren in return.* :P
Larry: I'm going to get going now. (Tips his hat) Congradulations, kids, and have a nice party. :)
(He heads out to the van, and all of them drive down the street.)
Valerie: He and Millie are so sweet.
Peter: That was a great housewarming present!
Valerie: Well, why don't we go in and get ready for the party?
Emma: If I can get up all the way. :p
Lauren: Mike can help you up. :D
Mike: Sure! (He gently helps Emma to her feet, when we see for the first time that she is quite big)
Emma: Is there somewhere I can lay down inside?
Peter: There's a really nice couch in the parlor next to the kitchen. :)
Valerie: (Pulls Shelly's hand away from her blouse) We'll be in the next room, getting the party ready. :)
Mike: I'll stay with her. You guys called everybody, right?
Micky: Better believe it. ;)
Emma: Honey, you don't have to babysit me.
Mike: (Rubs her hand) Darlin', we don't have much together time left before this little cowgirl comes. :)
Emma: (Eyes tear again) IF she comes... :((
Mike: (Sighs and puts his arm around her) Come on, darlin'. You need some rest. (Leads her inside as she starts to sob)
Lauren: *frowns* Poor Em. :(
Emma: (As they go inside) Ohhhh, Mike, I'm NEVER gonna have this baby! (Her voice fades as they go further into the house)
Peter: How long has she been like this?
Lauren: Since her due date came and went. :P
Micky: Geez... :(
Valerie: (Sighs; Shelly starts playing with her ponytail) She's not taking this very well.
Lauren: Not at all.
Peter: She's been crying more than usual for the past few months! :(
Lauren: *sighs* Comes with the pregnancy.
Valerie: (Nods) I asked Chrissy's nanny, and she says it effects different women in different ways. Lauren got moody and short-tempered when she was pregnant. Emma’s weepy.
Lauren: Usually the opposite of the normal personality.
Micky: I don't know if I'd say that, babe. *gets an elbow in the gut* :P
Peter: (Puts out his hand; a few drops of rain are seen) I think we'd better get inside. It looks like it's going to storm soon!
Valerie: Good idea. The kids don't need to catch their deaths, and we don't, either.
Lauren: No kidding. :P
(Everyone follows Valerie inside. Mike emerges as they make their way down the hall.)
Mike: I put a sleeping spell on Em. It should last until the party. (Sighs) I love her to death, but she's been a pain these past few weeks. She can't work, and her not doing anything is driving us BOTH nuts. :p
Peter: She's just scared, Michael. Remember what happened when she first found out she was pregnant.
Mike: I know, but it seems like all she does these days is eat and cry. :p
Valerie: She'll be all right, Mike. She just needs to know we're all here for both of you, no matter when the child decides to come into the world. :)
Micky: Darn right. :)
*Little Mick chooses that moment to let HIS voice be heard, too.* ;)
Micky: *makes a face* Thanks, little man. :P
Mike: (Grins and pats the little boy on the shoulder) You sure are your pop's kid. You can't stand not gettin' your two cents in. ;)
*Little Micky grins widely.*
*Lauren chuckles, headed towards the kitchen with the boxes.*
Peter: He even has the same big smile! :D
Micky: He'd better! :D ;)
(They all follow Lauren to the still very modern kitchen. It's been spruced up somewhat with yellow paint and cheerful daisy-print curtains.)
Valerie: (Sits down at the table with Shelly still in her lap) What do you guys think? Does the paint look ok? There wasn't much else I could do with this room.
Peter: (Wraps his arms around Valerie, making sure to not hurt Shelly) I think it looks wonderful, Val. It's so nice and bright. :)
Micky: *nods* Looks great! :)
(Davy comes in the kitchen shivering. It's started to rain harder, splattering against the big window in the back of the room in torrents.)
Davy: You guys did a nice job, but this place STILL gives me the willies. :p
Mike: Oh, come on, now. Shelia's nowhere NEAR here, and Zero's dead.
Micky: Bad memories. :P
Davy: That's not what I mean. There's somethin' 'bout this place that's just plain creepy.
Peter: We just have to get all the furniture set up. When it's completely done, it'll be beautiful! :)
Valerie: (Nods at the little girl nodding off in her lap) Maybe we'd better take the kids upstairs. This miss looks like she could use a nap. :)
Peter: (Rubs Shelly's cheek) She's so cute. Look at her big, beautiful brown eyes.
Micky: Her brother could use a snooze, too. *grins at the now dozing little boy*
Lauren: *grins* They've had a long day. :)
Peter: (Smiles) Must be very exciting for them, being in a new place! :D
Mike: We're pretty excited, too. (Walks out of the kitchen)
Micky: They love it! :D
Valerie: I'll show you where the nursery is, Lauren. :)
Valerie: And Micky, too. You can put the kids there when they visit.
Lauren: Thanks. :)
Mike: (Comes back in the kitchen) I was just checkin' on Em. She's ok. Sleepin' like a little round China doll. :)
Peter: Maybe that will make her feel better. :)
Mike: (Puts his hand on his chest and sighs) She really is feelin' hot and big, but goin' into hysterics every five minutes over nothin' ain't helpin’. :p
Peter: She'll be ok once the baby comes. :)
Mike: I hope so, buddy. I hate to see her like this.
(Valerie leads the crew upstairs. The wind whistles and moans outside. Inside, the house creeks and groans.)
Peter: (Gulps) Valerie, are we alone in here?
Valerie: As far as I know.
Lauren: Old houses always make weird noises.
Mike: Don't start on that ghost crap, guys. :p
Micky: Why not? It's kinda fun. ;)
Mike: Well, it's just stories. Ghosts ain't real. :p
Davy: (Jumps as another creak is heard) I'm startin' to wondah about that, Mike. :p :o
*Micky makes creepy sounds.* ;)
Lauren: *groans* Mick, don't DO that! :P
Micky: *grins* What? ;)
Valerie: (As they hit the second floor) Micky, please. We have enough atmosphere with the storm as it is! :p
Micky: Killjoys. :P
Peter: And you'll wake up the babies!
Lauren: I wouldn't be so sure about that. ;)
Mike: Dunno about that. If they can sleep through Micky's snoring, they can sleep through ANYTHING. ;)
Micky: Again with the snoring... :P
(Everyone chuckles as Valerie leads them into a large room. The only things set up are a record player and radio, a rocking chair, and a crib.)
Valerie: This is our nursery. We'll have more furniture here later when Dad can find the rest of Chrissy's old baby stuff. :)
(She lays Shelly in the crib and pulls a pink knitted blanket over her.)
Micky: *lays little Micky next to Shell* Nice room! :)
Valerie: You have a nice nap, Shel. That's a very cozy blanket. It kept Chrissy warm for years. :)
Lauren: Too bad they're already asleep, or we could've had Mick sing them a lullabye. ;)
Peter: (Nods - the walls are painted a soft green, with yellow accents) We wanted something our children and their friends could enjoy regardless of gender. :)
Valerie: We set up the radio and record player to keep them company, too. :)
Mike: (Looks at his watch) Come on, guys. The kids will be fine up here. Let's go get the food ready. The gang'll be here soon. :)
Valerie: And if I know them, they'll be hungry. ;)
(Valerie leads everyone back downstairs. Davy and Micky stay together as they make their way back to the kitchen.)
Davy: There's somethin' I don't like 'bout this place, Micky. Somethin' I can't quite put my fingah on.
Micky: *nods* Yeah, I'm getting it, too. :P
Micky: They did do a great job of making it better than it was.
Davy: (Nods at the brightly but elegantly painted walls and warm and rich wallpapers and rugs) Actually looks somethin' like a 'ome in 'ere. :)
Micky: And not something out of one of my nightmares. :P
Davy: (Looks at Micky as the two stop in the living room) Mick, you nevah did tell me what those nightmares were all about.
Micky: *makes a face* They're usually just about what we've been through... with the exception of that last one you caught me taking a walk on.
Davy: Wot was that one about?
Micky: *scratches the back of his head* I don't really remember that much about it anymore. Most of the time, I wake up and half of it's gone already.
Davy: Must 'ave been pretty bad for you to go out in the middle of the night!
Micky: It was just...creepy. I don't usually go all the way down to the beach. *small smirk* I've parked at the top the wooden tower a couple times. It makes for a nice hiding spot. ;)
Davy: We ought to make it our 'ide out before the kids are old enough to take it ovah. ;)
Micky: Because as soon as they're able to climb that ladder, it's no longer for the rest of us. ;)
Davy: Exactly. (Grins) Although we could bring Little Mick wit' us until 'e's old enough to go on his own. 'E should start learnin' guy talk. ;)
Micky: *laughs* Have no fear of that, man. Lauren complains about my muttering when I'm working around the house as it is. She thinks I'm teaching them bad stuff. ;)
Davy: And you ain't? ;)
Micky: *feigns innocence* Who, me? You MUST be mistaken. *grins* ;)
Davy: They ain't gonna 'ear five hundred different dirty jokes from their mothah. ;)
Micky: Someone else has to handle that. Just so happens it's me. *waggles his eyebrows* ;)
Davy: I'll provide the othah five 'undred. ;)
Micky: You got it, man. ;)
(There's a knock at the door as the two chuckle.)
Davy: Sounds like the guests 'ave arrived, Mick.
Micky: Let the party begin! :D
Peter: (Joins them) Hi, guys! (Opens the door - it's Nyles holding a wrapped box and a bottle of champagne)
Davy: 'Ey, Ny! Glad you could get 'ere in the storm. :)
Nyles: Hey, man! *pauses* What storm? ;)
Peter: Hi, Nyles! Come in! (Leads the big blond man inside)
(Peter takes his coat and hangs it in a closet next to the main stairway)
Peter: Oooh, champagne! (Grins as he looks at the bottle) Gee, it's imported! :D
Nyles: Nothin' but the best! :D
Davy: Come on, Ny. They've got food in the kitchen.
Nyles: Food! :D
Peter: Be quiet, though. Emma and the Dolenz twins are resting. :)
Nyles: Oh, sorry! *grins widely*
(As they lead Nyles into the kitchen, the door bell is heard again.)
Peter: You boys take Nyles into the kitchen. I'll get the door. :)
Micky: You got it! :)
(Peter goes back to the main hall as Davy and Micky take Nyles to the kitchen.)
(Valerie and Lauren set up ceramic bowls of cut-up fruit and veggies, dip, chips, pretzels, popcorn, the box of cookies, and the cheesecake.)
Davy: (Grins) Everythin' 'bout done, ladies? The guests are startin' to arrive. :)
Lauren: Just about. And no snitching yet! :P
(Davy and Micky were about to grab a few cookies. They both put them down, looking sheepish.)
Valerie: Put the champagne on the counter.
Lauren: *grins* Wow. ;)
Nyles: Sure thing! *sets the champagne down*
(Peter comes in with the Four Martians and Tilly. Tilly carries a bouquet of flowers. John has a large, wrapped box. Chris carries a keg of beer. Danny has a bag of chips.)
John: Hey, guys!
Valerie: (Grins) Hi, gang! (Takes Tilly’s flowers and puts them in a vase from a cabinet that she fills with water.)
Lauren: Hey, fellas. :)
Peter: (Door bell is heard again) I'll get it! You guys get settled down. :)
Micky: Till, any more stories? ;)
Tilly: (Nods) I read in New York that someone's been stealing important government documents and passing them on to foreign nations, but no one knows who it REALLY is! All they have is a name. (Lowers her voice to what she thinks sounds like a dramatic whisper) DARWIN.
Marcus: She told us about this one on the way over here. :p
Lauren: *mutters* Thanks for provoking her, Mick. :P
Micky: Really!? ;)
Tilly: Yeah, really! They say Darwin is a master of disguise, and no one knows their true identity! They don't even know if he's a guy or a chick!
Nyles: Wow!
John: You been readin' those paperback spy novels again, Till?
Tilly: No, true story! I read it in the New York Times, and their front page says "All the News That's Fit to Print!"
Mike: (Comes in, shaking his head) Em's ok. She's still out. (Grins) Hey, guys! Ready for the party?
Nyles: I'm always ready for a party, man! :D
Valerie: Shame the Jolly Green Giants had a gig.
Mike: This crowd is probably more than enough for us to handle. ;)
Tilly: (Jumps as there's more noises) What was that? I thought I heard a ghost!
John: You can hear a ghost?
Chris: Is it female?
*Nyles laughs & slaps Chris on the back.* ;)
Marcus: (Rolls his eyes) Mind out of the gutter, Chris. :p
Micky: At least he's found something to focus on. ;)
(Peter comes in with the Westminster Abbies. Maxine has a wrapped bundle. Daphne carries a box tied with string.)
Maxine: Hey, guys!
Jenny: I'm ready to go!
(There's another, louder moan.)
Davy: I swear this house is trying to talk to us.
Lauren: Everyone heard that, right?
Micky: Maybe it's trying to tell us to start the party already. ;)
John: Tell me that was Nyles or Mick's stomach.
Nyles: Wasn't mine, man. :P
Mike: Aw, come on, guys! There's no such thing as ghosts!
Tilly: How do YOU know?
Mike: That's old movie stuff. :p
Micky: Some of those movies are really groovy, you know.
Mike: Hey, Pete, you got a pack of cards?
Peter: (Grins) Sure! There should be some in the study. :)
Valerie: I’ll get them. (Heads out)
Mike: (Cracks his knuckles) How 'bout I whip you all at poker?
Micky: Oh, is THAT how you're gonna be?
John: Yeah, right, Nesmith!
Nyles: I don't think so, man! :P
Maxine: Whatever, Mike. :p
Lauren: *groans* Oh, no, not Poker. *gets poked in the side; Micky grins* :P
Chris: (Eyes the Abbies) How 'bout strip poker?
Daphne: Not in this crowd! :p
Lauren: Oh, good Lord. :P
Peter: Um, I kind of like my clothes...
Micky: Me, too. :P
Kimberly: Let's do something safer. Let's play for Millie's cookies instead. ;)
Micky: I am DEFINITELY in! :D
Lauren: Play first, then you can eat them, Mick. ;)
Daphne: And the cake I baked! (Opens the box to reveal a lopsided round cake with "We..lc.. om..e Val..r.. n.. P..ter" written in icing)
Maxine: The girls kept snitchin'. :p
Kimberly: We're growin' girls! ;)
(Valerie returns with the cards.)
Mike: Ok, gang. Who's in?
Micky: Me!
(Everyone but Valerie, Tilly, Jenny, and Lauren raises their hands. Micky raises two. ;) )
Lauren: *shakes her head* This is gonna be a massacre. :P
(There's another creak and a groan.)
Tilly: The ghosts are getting closer! :o
Peter: V...valllleriiiee, what was that?
Lauren: It's just an old house!
Valerie: (Sighs) Guys, it's not anything that'll hurt you.
John: Aw, come on, guys! Are we playin', or aren't we?
Micky: Yeah! And if that noise is made by anything that can hurt us, I'll fend it off! :D ;)
*Lauren slaps her forehead.*
Davy: Now I'M scared. ;)
Lauren: Mick, you been snitching from the keg already? ;)
Micky: Me? Nahhh. :P ;)
Mike: Well, ladies, gentlemen (starts dealing cards) let the game begin.
(Everyone jumps and screams as thunder rolls and the lights flicker.)