Ok, everyone, ready to find out what's going on with Marcovich?
Mike: (Mutters - in Emma's body) Yeah.
Davy: (In Daphne's body) Sure, luv. :)
Lauren: *sighs* Yeah. *glares at Micky, who shrugs*
Peter: (In Valerie's body) Yes.
(We come in at the cafe where a lot of "One Man Shy (Peter and the Debutante)" is set. Mike, still in Emma's body, stumbles in first, wearing a simple brown jumper and yellow blouse. Daphne, Davy, Lauren, and Micky, all also still switched around, hide behind four big menus. Marcovich sits at a table toward the end of the cafe, looking a bit thinner and more pale than in "The Case of the Missing Monkee," but otherwise the same. The four menus lower to reveal four pairs of cautious eyes as Mike makes "his" way over to Marcovich's table. He rubs his stomach and makes a face.)
Davy: (In Daphne's body still) There 'e is! I'd know 'im anywhere!
Micky: *still in Lauren's body* Kinda hard to forget him.
Daphne: (Nods in Davy's body - she wears his cream Nehru jacket and gray trousers) He sure looks like my idea of an evil Eastern European scientist. He reminds me of some of the evil head tycoons from the James Bond movies!
Lauren: *in Micky's body* Or a mad scientist in general.
Daphne: Did he REALLY do all that stuff, brainwash Peter and almost brainwash Micky?
Micky: Unfortunately.
Davy: And worse, luv. 'E was gonna send that physicist out of the country to America's enemies.
Daphne: How did you guys send him to the slammer?
Davy: You've got to stop watchin' them prison movies, luv. (Daphne sticks "her" tongue out at "him.") Actually, it was one of Mike's brilliant ideas. We made 'im think we were doctahs and Micky was the physicist.
Daphne: (Raises an eyebrow) You guys, doctors? And he believed it?
Lauren: Mick took it a bit too much to heart, huh? *grins*
Micky: Hey! :P
(Davy and Daphne chuckle.)
Davy: Shh! They're gonna start!
(Emma finally sits down across from Marcovich. Davy frowns.)
Davy: Hey, guys, do you feel...funny?
Daphne: (Nods and puts "her" hand on "her" stomach) There's something wrong here.
Micky: *groans* Aw shit.
Davy: (Nods) The last time my stomach felt this nauseous was when... (eyes widen)
Daphne: (Nods) When Zero and Shelia were after us.
Lauren: I like the warning, but I hate getting it!
Davy: (Frowns and looks around) I don't get it. We, Em, and Marcovich are the only people here. I don't see anyone else, includin' devils.
Daphne: Maybe Marcovich is causing it?
Davy: 'E don't got nuthin' to do wit' devils! Othah than bein' an ass.
Lauren: But consider who has had dealings with devils...
Daphne: Didn't you say Zero may have gone to some of the people who...chased...you guys before?
Davy: (Eyes widen) 'IM?
Lauren: *shrugs* That's what I remember hearing.
Daphne: Someone said this morning he tried to grab Peter, and we all know Zero wanted Peter's soul in the worst way.
Micky: Babe, I hate it when you could be right.
Davy: Shhh! I 'ear them!
(The four lean as close to Mike and Marcovich's table as they can without falling off their chairs.)
Mike: (Nervously - drops his accent as best he can) Um, hello, Dr. Marcovich, sir. I'm Mic...um, Emma Nesmith. I'm here to interview you for the Malibu Beach Register.
Marcovich: (Vaguely Eastern European accent - shakes "her" hand) It's nice to meet you, Miss Nesmith.
Mike: (Smiles wanly) So, how does it feel to be out of prison?
Marcovich: Excellent, Miss Nesmith. The food is so much better.
Mike: We've heard that you may be resuming your experiments. Frankly, we were all wondering about this, since it's fairly well known that you lost your position at the Remington Clinic and your medical license when you were arrested.
Marcovich: (Crocodile smile) Ahh, no worries, Miss Nesmith. I have put the terrible things I did to my former profession and to mankind behind me since then. I am now working for the good of the world.
Mike: Could you tell us about some of these experiments? You were working with certain types of mind-alteration chemicals and doing work with changing human and animal brain waves when you were arrested.
Marcovich: (Somewhat tightly) I'm sorry, Miss Nesmith, but my experiments are for the government and are highly top-secret.
Mike: (Narrows "her" eyebrows) Oh, come on, surely you could talk about SOMETHING? Are you still doing experiments on mind control and memory-erasure?
Marcovich: (Narrows his eyes) I don't like the way you are asking these questions, young lady.
Mike: (Barely composes himself) Is it true that you were once a spy for the KGB?
Marcovich: I was NOT a spy. I was a doctor. You watch too many silly action films. I am working with chemicals and the human body, but I no longer have an actual medical practice, for obvious reasons. All the better. It will give me more time to do my work.
Mike: Is there ANYTHING you can tell us about your new work?
Marcovich: I am working on chemicals that may lead to the curing of certain mind-based diseases, as well as doing some work with the human and animal mind for the government.
Mike: Isn't that more-or-less what you were doing when you were arrested?
Marcovich: No. That was intended for mind-alteration, the creation and dissemation of memories and ideas. These are to cure diseases that could ravage the mind and make it inoperable.
Mike: (It's obvious "he" doesn't believe a word of this, but "he" says nothing on that subject) Thank you, Dr. Marcovich. You've been most helpful.
Marcovich: (Nods; both stand) Thank you, young lady. I hope that the Register will allow the world to know that I am back and my intentions this time are quite different.
Mike: (Stands, putting a hand on his stomach; "he's" pale) You're welcome, Dr. Marcovich. It's been a very, um, interestin' interview.
(Marcovich leaves. Mike makes a face and gingerly sits down at the table with the others.)
Mike: That asshole is up to somethin'.
Davy: No kiddin', mate.
Micky: I don't believe that guy as far as Lauren could throw him.
(Everyone chuckles.)
Lauren: That'd be pretty far, too.
(That gets an even bigger laugh...but Mike finally gets serious and puts a hand on his stomach.)
Mike: Do you guys have...THAT...feeling, too? The stomach-ache? I mean, it could be the kid in my stomach...
Davy: We all 'ave it, Mike.
Micky: Either that or we're all pregnant. *Lauren smacks the back of his head*
Mike: (Chuckles, then becomes serious again) Oh, man. Marcovich must have somethin' big n' nasty in mind, and I don't think it's gonna help mankind.
Davy: I'll bet Shelia's lurkin' around somewhere, too.
Micky: Babe, duck under the table so she won't see me! *Lauren rolls "her" eyes.*
Daphne: (Eyes blaze) Oooooh, she WOULD be behind this! (Clentches "her" small fist) When I get my hands on that bitch, I'm gonna do a lot more than whack her with a staff!
Lauren: Save me a piece of her!
Daphne: That's right, Lauren, you didn't get a whack at her last time.
Davy: Literally.
Lauren: As long as I can get my hands on her.
Daphne: You take the upper half, I'll take the lower half. (Looks at herself) Shame we don't know where she is. I'd love to take her on like this!
Davy: As long as you don't do no damage to me looks, luv. ;)
Lauren: *grins* Me too!
Micky: Ditto about the looks!
Daphne: What's there to damage? ;)
Micky and Lauren: Hey!?
Davy: Very funny, luv. (Swats "her" - "she" chuckles)
Daphne: I was talking about the (looks around) "boys."
Lauren: Don't worry, Mick, I wouldn't get you more damaged than you've already been.
Micky: *rolls "his" eyes* That's a relief.
Mike: Ok, guys. Let's order some lunch and get out of here. (Sighs) Accordin' to Em, I've got a couple of hours work at the grocery store after this. I have NO idea how I'm gonna do that. I don't know nuthin' 'bout workin' a cash register.
Micky: Just punch buttons until the drawer opens.
*Lauren covers "her" face with "her" hands.*
Mike: (Settles back as a waiter brings drinks, rubbing his stomach) I can't believe I'm gonna be a father (makes a face) and, at this point, a mother.
Davy: Ain't you practically OUR fathah (grins), Papa Wolf?
Daphne: Mama Wolf right now. (Mike swats at her.)
Micky: Welcome to the club.
Mike: Davy, you guys are in your 20s. I ain't never fathered a kid who weren't already grown before.
Davy: I dunno, Mike. Melvin really liked ya, and you do well wit' the twins.
Micky: Yeah, you'll do just fine, man.
Mike: (sighs) I hope so, guys. (Frowns) Do you think the folks at the Acme would get too suspicious if I asked for a few pointers on the fine art of cashierin'? Maybe Em "forgot" a thing or two?
Lauren: Well, you'd probably get funny looks, at the least.
Davy: I wouldn't be obvious about it. Didn't you say Em was pretty good at memorizin' numbahs and where everythin' is?
Micky: *nods* You're in trouble, Mike.
Mike: Oh man! (Sighs) Poor Em. She says she's gonna work as long as she can. It's gonna be murder carryin' this kid around AND standin' on her feet all day.
Lauren: Preachin' to the choir, Mike.
Mike: Lauren, how did you do it? You worked at a bank while you were pregnant with TWINS!
Lauren: *shakes "her" head* I just did it. Not really sure HOW anymore. All I know is I'm lucky I can still stand straight.
Daphne: You're just having one baby, right?
Mike: Thank goodness. (Grins) Mick, Lauren, the kids are great, but I don't know how I could handle chasin' around two babies at once. I don't got the energy you two do. We don't know what sex it's gonna be yet.
Micky: And I don't think we could handle more than another one of you. *grins*
Mike: Cute, Mick. (Elbows "him," then checks "his" watch) I've gotta get goin'.
Davy: Daph n' I will drive you to the Acme in the jeep.
Daphne: I told the girls I'd be out all day with Davy, and Amber went to visit her folks in San Fransisco this afternoon.
Mike: (Gets up, a little slowly) How do you girls do it? Carry a kid around in your belly? (Looks at his wife's...um, considerable chest.) And how does Em walk around with these damn things? They're heavy and they tend to draw attention.
Lauren: *grins slightly* Have a bit more appreciation for the opposite sex?
Mike: Right now, I'm just glad Em don't like high heels. I'd fall off them.
*Micky laughs.*
Mike: (Nods) I have to talk to Em tomorrow, or when all of this has finally worn off. I guess I ain't been appreciatin' her lately. Never was good with chicks. In Texas, they all just seemed to be foreign creatures, even Mom and Aunt Kate sometimes.
Daphne: From what I've gathered from Emma, she's not good with guys, either.
Davy: Bet she's just as mystified wit' men as you are wit' birds.
Micky: You're gonna appreciate what I did for you!
Lauren: Just not until we're back in our own bodies.
Mike: (Grins) Much as I'm glad to be learnin' more about my wife, I miss bein' tall. It was kinda nice to be able to look over everyone's heads.
Daphne: You know, I wonder how Peter and Val are faring, too.
Lauren: I hope they're doing okay.
Mike: I ain't worried about Val. She's a good pianist and loves kids as much as Pete does. Pete's the one who worries me.
Davy: Why?
Mike: Pete's a sweet man and a lot smarter than anyone thinks, but he ain't no debutante. Just gettin' him to wear colors that don't look like somethin' out of an MGM musical this mornin' got him upset. He's such a hippie, but that don't go over well in the boardroom.
Micky: I'm kinda doubting he'll just sit there and nod.
Mike: He's so passionate about peace and love and not likin' the war, and he'll annoy the hell out of those conservative types Val's gotta deal with.
Davy: Someone ought to check on Petah, and someone's got to get Em...Mike to work.
Mike: (To Lauren and Micky) Why don't you guys talk to Val and see if she knows her...Pete's schedule. Dave and Daphne could take me to the Pad to get Em's...my uniform and to work.
Lauren: *nods* Sure.
Davy: (Grins at Daphne) Then, luv, could we do...othah...things?
Daphne: Not in my body.
Davy: (Sighs at Micky as the other two head out) One of these days, Mick. One of these days. ;)
*Micky just grins.*
(Davy heads out, followed by Micky and Lauren, who go over to Lauren's car.)
Micky: (Looks up at his wife) Hey, Lauren, you still pissed about bein' in my body? I mean, my body ain't so bad, once you get used to it, 'cept for the leg thing. (Grins) The air must be nice up there. ;)
Lauren: I'm not so much pissed about being in your body, it's more that your plan backfired... again. *pauses* You know, I do kinda like the air up here. The leg thing I hadn't really noticed until you just mentioned it. ;) :P
Micky: I gotta agree with Mike. I'm not used to having to look UP at people. I don't know how you, Em, and Davy do it, babe.
Lauren: *sighs* I've gotten used to it, except for all the people at work who have to remind me I'm short.
Micky: (As he climbs into the driver's seat) Bring 'em to me, babe. I'll take care of them for ya! (Frowns) Hey, did you ever call Mom and ask her if the twins switched, too, not in those words, of course? If this is confusin' for us, I can only imagine what it's like to barely year-olds.
Lauren: *makes a face* Shoot, I forgot. One of us ought to as soon as we're close to a phone. I wonder how we'll be able to tell?
Micky: Well, little Mick yells louder than his sister, for one thing. (Winces)
Lauren: Gee, I wonder why. (Thinks) That's one way, unless they're BOTH crying up a storm, in which case I'd think that would be a telltale sign.
Micky: And Shelly likes to yank things.
Lauren: *makes a face* No kidding.
Micky: (Grins) Including long hair. Boy, am I glad Mom wanted to see them this weekend! ;)
Lauren: Give our poor heads some rest.
Micky: Don't know how she would have reacted to yanking Daddy's ponytail and her brother being changed by Mommy.
Lauren: *laughs* Well, atleast we've got a REALLY interesting story to tell them when they're older. (Grins) Hey, you wouldn't happen to be willing to let me in on how your powers work, would you? *grins* ;)
Micky: Isn't hard, lovely...um, lady. Just concentrate on something, think something, and voila! You have something, or something turns INTO something.
Lauren: Interesting. *grins at Micky* Wonder if I oughta try it?
Micky: Um, I don't know if that's a good idea, babe. You don't know where my powers have been.
Lauren: Oh, come on, Mick! Just something easy.
Micky: (Uncertain, but giving in) Well...ok. Just don't do anything TOO weird. I'm in the doghouse enough as it is.
Lauren: *chuckles* Fitting that you should say that. *concentrates on "him"; "he" turns into a puppy* Wow! *picks the puppy up carefully* Pretty good, huh?
(Micky the puppy glares at her and howls as loudly as he can.)
Lauren: *laughs* All right, Mick, all right! I'll turn you back...just thought you deserved a bit of revenge. *She...he sets the puppy down and concentrates. Micky reappears, still in Lauren's body. Lauren grins.*
Micky: Don't DO that!
Lauren: I couldn't help myself! Besides, you can't tell me you didn't deserve that!
Micky: (Sighs) You're right. (Shakes his head) Why don't any of my ideas ever work out? Almost every time I've tried to help Mike and Em, it's just gotten everyone in trouble.
Lauren: *sighs* You mean well, Mick. But there's just something in your thinking that gets screwed up.
Micky: I just hope they DID learn something. (Shifts the car into gear) Which reminds me, we have to get home and make sure no one else is in trouble from all this.
Lauren: *nods* I hope so, too.
(The car pulls out of the parking lot, and we fade out, then into the Pad. Valerie, still in Peter's body, sits at the piano with Suzy Parker. It's obvious both are having a great deal of fun, playing a simple classical piece. Micky and Lauren walk in as they finish.)
Suzy: Could I try one of these songs? (Pulls out some sheet music in the back) They're some real rock pieces! Peter said I could try them sometime!
Valerie: (Eyes widen) Um, why don't we do those next week? (Grins) Or you could practice on them.
Suzy: (Sighs) I was hoping to do it with you, but that's groovy. I'll practice first, so I'll be able to play well with you next week.
Valerie: (Looks up with Peter's sunshine smile) Hi, Mick, Lauren.
Lauren: *waves* Hey, you two.
Suzy: Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Dolenz! We learned some classical music today by Bach. It was really pretty!
Micky: Sounding good!
(Suzy gets up and bows. Valerie laughs.)
Valerie: (Looks at the clock on the wall) Your mother should be here any minute now, Suzy. I want you to practice the pieces we worked on every day until your next lesson.
Suzy: Can I do the rock numbers?
Valerie: Why not? Do them at the end of your practice to have some fun. (Hands the papers to her)
Suzy: (As she gets into her coat) How come you don't want to play them? You're in a rock band!
Valerie: I...just don't today, ok, Suz?
Suzy: (A bit confused) Ok.
(There's a knock at the door. Lauren and Micky move inside as Mrs. Parker and Peter both come in at once. Peter wears a simple suit and better make-up. Mrs. Parker wears a housedress.)
Mrs. Parker: Hello, honey. Time to go home.
Peter: (Leans down; he's obviously tired) Hi there, little lady.
Suzy: Hi, Miss Valerie! (Frowns) What's wrong? You look like you need a nap.
Peter: (Sighs) I feel like I need one.
*Micky smirks slightly.*
Mrs. Parker: Come on, honey. It's time to go home.
Suzy: Can we go out to McDonald's for dinner?
Mrs. Parker: (Sighs) We'll see, dear. (They head out the door, with Suzy waving to "Peter" as she leaves.)
Valerie: She's a really cute kid, Pete. They all are.
Peter: (Gulps) Val, how do you DO it? Those meetings are sooo boring!
Valerie: I've learned to nod a lot.
Micky: Keeps you from falling asleep.
Peter: But they were saying things about the war. (Makes a face) I don't think they're very loving people.
Valerie: (Shakes her head) Some of Dad's associates are nice people, but a lot of them ARE very conservative businessmen, Peter. They're like Barnaby, the guy we met last month. They just care about money.
Peter: But that's not everything! How do you handle having all this money?
Valerie: (Shrugs) It's not a big issue for me. I was raised a socialite. (Sighs) Peter, I love the kids, but I greatly admire your talent. I just had your guitar kids practice their pieces today. I'm no guitarist, and I don't know many rock songs on the piano.
Peter: (Shrugs) That just comes naturally to ME. When I was those kids' ages, that was all I COULD do.
Valerie: (Looks up at Micky and Lauren) How are you guys doing?]
Lauren: Peachy. And speaking of kids, I have a call to make. *heads over to the phone*
Micky: Well, she turned me into a puppy. What does that tell you?
Peter: Aw! I'll bet you were a cute puppy!
Micky: Maybe so, but I didn't like it. :P
Valerie: She's till upset with you Mick, huh?
Micky: Just a little. ;)
Peter: (Raises an eyebrow) Kids?
Valerie: (frowns) You don't think...
Micky: She's calling mom to find out.
Peter: (Frowns) Don't think what?
Lauren: We'll see you tomorrow. *hangs up, rejoins the group and makes a face* Good job, Mick. You switched the twins, too! *yanks on "his" ponytail again*
Micky: Ow! I didn't MEAN to! Geez!
Valerie and Peter: (In unison) WHAT??!!!
Peter: The KIDS got switched?
Valerie: At their ages, I doubt they can tell...or care.
Lauren: Now Shelly's hollering like a banshee, and Little Mick's yanking on everything within reach.
Peter: Oh, man, Little Micky is usually the noisy one, right?
Micky: You got it.
Lauren: Poor Janelle's wondering what's up with them. I told her that I've...well, Mick's...been teaching them how to bug "Mom."
Micky: Gee, thanks. :P
Peter: Isn't that true anyway?
Lauren: Actually, yes, so it wasn't really a lie.
Micky: Hey!
Peter: (Sighs) There was one meeting I liked, though. (Sits down at the piano bench next to Valerie) Can I join the Music Society, Val? I liked the discussion they were having today on Mozart canatas.
Valerie: (Grins) Sure! You know, Dad's asked me if I would like to take over the Music Society for him, since he's so busy with the grocery stores. I think I might take him up on that offer. (Smiles) You know, Peter, I have an idea. If you teach me...and the Music Society...some of your rock and folk pieces, I'll give you some of Dad's collection of Bach and Beetoven sheet music to practice with.
Peter: GROOVY! Thanks, Val! (Gives "her" as big a hug as "he" can manage in his fiance's slender body)
Valerie: (Grins) You're welcome, honey. (Grin becomes rather wicked) You know, now that I'm in your body, I can do something I've wanted to do for a long time. (Gives Peter the biggest bear hug she can. He's out of breath when she lets go.)
*Micky and Lauren laugh.*
Peter: (Breathless) Oh...oh man! I'm really THAT strong?
(Valerie just nods, still grinning.)
Micky: We oughta let you try to bench press one of us sometime.
Lauren: *laughs* Mick!
(Valerie and Peter laugh as the door opens again. Emma - still in Mike's body - enters with Davy and Daphne. Her face and coveralls are splotched with grease, oil, gas, and dirt, and her now-long face is rather red. Davy and Daphne snicker.)
Emma: (Makes a face) I HATE cars.
Davy: Apparently, the cahs turned on 'im...'er.
Daphne: Cars can be nasty critters when they're provoked.
Lauren: Geez! What happened?
Emma: I don't know one part from another! I accidentally opened a gas tank, or at least, I'm assuming that's what this black goop is. (Makes a face) I tripped over one of the big parts, which is how my knees got dirty. Carelli finally sent me home early. He said he had no more work for me, but I think he just wanted me gone until I figured out what I was doing again. (Sighs) How does Mike do it?
Micky: He knows what he's doing. *shrugs*
Emma: (Makes a face) And the next guy at Carelli's who makes a skinny joke is going to get a field hockey stick shoved up his rear.
Lauren: Could I watch that?
Emma: I almost MISS being fat! (Makes a face) I have to get Mike to eat more.
Lauren: That may not necessarily work, Em. ;)
*Micky just grins.*
Emma: (Grins at Lauren) Hey, Laur, how do you feel about having Micky's metabolism?
Lauren: I like it! Beats feeling lazy most of the time.
Micky: Babe, I'm gonna help you out with that. *makes a face*
Emma: How did the interview go?
Davy: Let's just say we're in trouble again.
Valerie: Oh no, what NOW?
Daphne: We got THAT stomachace when we were near Marcovich.
Peter: THAT stomachache?
Davy: You know, the one that says "Danger, Devils at Work?"
Peter: I didn't know stomachs could talk!
(Valerie grins and elbows him.)
Micky: Pete...
Emma: Oh, good grief. What's Marcovich up to this time?
Peter: And what does he have to do with the devils?
Valerie: Remember what we said, Peter? Marcovich was probably one of the people Zero sent to bring you guys to him.
Peter: (Eyes widen) You mean, he worked for Zero?
Micky: Yup. Now he's saying he's gone straight, but not likely.
Emma: (Snorts) When pigs fly.
Davy: Sounded like 'e were tryin' too 'ard to convince Mike he was turnin' over a new leaf.
Peter: He's a tree?
Lauren: No, Pete. *sighs*
Valerie: He REALLY wants everyone to think he's not trying to brainwash people anymore.
Peter: Is he? I don't want to lose my memory again!
Davy: We don't know. 'E were bein' awfully cagey about that.
Peter: Do you think he'd try to (gulps) hurt us?
Valerie: (Puts her arms around Peter) Not this time, honey. We're ready for him.
Daphne: What about Shelia? She's still out there too.
Micky: I'm sure she'll show up when she's ready.
Davy: And we'll be ready for 'ER this time!
Daphne: That's right! I'll give that Devil Woman a cat fight she'll NEVER forget!
Lauren: So will I!
Daphne: We'll do it together. I'll hold her, you smack her.
Lauren: It's a plan!
Davy: If she don't turn you both into animals first. She's got this thing about 'uman menageries. :p
Lauren: Doesn't scare me.
Micky: Babe... *shakes "his" head*
Emma: Guys... (turns to the others) what ARE we going to do about tonight? Do you think Alexandra O'Malley would buy it if we all suddenly had the flu?
Lauren: Knowing our luck, probably not.
Daphne: She's a smart cookie. Pat would buy it, but I doubt she will.
Peter: Of course she's smart. She hired us! :D
Micky: Got that right, Peter.
Emma: I wonder if Mike would kill me when he's back in his own body if I tried to play Black Beauty tonight.
Lauren: You're assuming he'd let you near it first.
Valerie: What ARE we going to do?
Davy: Maybe we could get the Abbies to do an emergency fill-in?
Micky: I got it! Maybe we could play behind the "girls!" They could just lip synch!
Lauren: At least the lightbulb didn't appear. ;)
Peter: There you go!
Emma: We're going to have to do that. I'm not a guitarist, and I can't learn the things Peter and Mike play in a few hours. (Sighs) I have to admire Mike. It couldn't have been easy for him to pick up playing the guitar after his sledgehammer accident.
Lauren: I know I could at least fake drumming. I sure can't sing, though.
Daphne: I can. We'll do Davy's songs tonight. I can play guitar and the tambourine, too.
Emma: I could probably try to figure out Mike's songs. (Sighs) He writes such wonderful songs. They're so different. (Eyes light up) Wait. You can sing, Lauren! You have Micky's voice!
Lauren: I can't carry a tune! I'm afraid to even try. I might kill everyone's ears.
Davy: But Micky can, and you're in Mick's body.
Lauren: *frowns* Oh, man...
Micky: Oh, come ON, babe. Just TRY it, would ya? Geez...
Daphne: (Nods) Micky, why don't YOU sing and Lauren will sing along, and we'll see who's kept what? :)
Micky: Okay. It's probably a good idea to practice anyway, just to see what got lost in translation. :P ;)
Emma: Maybe we ought to soundproof this place.
Lauren: Thank you. ;)
Micky: Alright, come on, lets see what we have what we need to get.
Peter: Do one of Micky's songs! (Turns to the piano) We'll accompany you.
*Micky drags Lauren over to the bandstand.*
Valerie: Peter, I'm not good at this...
Peter: I'll teach you! (Turns Valerie around)
(Daphne and Davy pick up the blond guitar and the bass. The guitar Daphne grabs almost knocks her over.)
Daphne: Good grief! Dave, how do you PLAY these things? They're almost bigger than you are!
Davy: Not easily, luv. Petah's 'elped me a lot.
(Peter beams from the piano bench.)
*Micky sits Lauren behind the drumkit and hands "her" the sticks. "She" looks at them like they might bite "her".*
Micky: How about something relatively easy for starters?
(Emma stands in the doorway, watching warily.)
Emma: What are you guys gonna play?
Micky: Babe, how about "I'm A Believer?" You've said you know all the words to it.
Lauren: Okay. I think I can handle that.
Daphne: That's an easy one.
Davy: (Nods) That'll do.
Peter: That one's easy to learn.
Valerie: (Nods) Good.
Lauren: *mutters* I can't believe I'm doing this...
Peter: Just try it, Lauren.
Lauren: *sighs* Alright, lets go for it. *rolls "her" eyes to the ceiling, then counts off the song*
*They start playing "I'm A Believer." Lauren is indeed singing with Micky's voice. "She" breaks out a wide grin. Micky stands next to "her," directing her on which part of the drumkit to use.*
(Davy and Daphne happily jam in the front of the stage. Emma tries to dance along, but she's forgotten she has almost an extra foot of leg and trips over them.)
(Peter and Valerie play the piano together, Peter sometimes showing Valerie which chord to hit.)
*Lauren gets into her playing and is no longer paying attention to Micky's directions. "He" throws his arms out to "his" sides in an "I give up" motion.*
(Davy and Daphne laugh at the antics of their two friends behind the drumkit. Valerie and Peter beam at each other as they play the piano together. Emma tries to dance again, but trips over a table and lands in a chair. Emma is still in the chair as the song comes to an end.)
Lauren: *crows* That was fun!
Valerie: It was, Lauren. No wonder you boys love playing together.
Emma: (Sighs) I'm not used to having more legs than stomach.
Peter: And Lauren, you have Micky's voice. Even if we have to dub your drumming for harder songs, you can still sing the numbers. :)
Lauren: Groovy! *tosses a stick in the air and misses it* Oops. :P
Micky: *hands it to "her* Drop something? *sighs* I'd almost hate to hear what I sound like. ;) :P
Davy: I sound like a girl.
Lauren: What's that supposed to mean?
Daphne: So?
(Davy's eyes widen as Daphne leans behind him.)
Micky: *looks away* Nothing. *whistles*
Davy: Wot was that for, luv?
Daphne: How does it feel to be ogled, Dave?
Davy: She bloomin' pinched me rear!
Lauren: Nothing, huh? *get ups and chases after Micky; "she" catches "him" and tackles him.* Hey, it's nice to be on this end of the chase for once!
(Peter and Valerie laugh as Mike, still in Emma's body and now in "her" navy blue Acme uniform shirt, walks in, looking very tired.)
Mike: Ok, guys, enough roughhousin'. What's goin' on, other than Lauren payin' Micky back for all the times he's tacked her?
Davy: (Points at Daphne) She pinched me rear!
Daphne: (Looks behind Davy) But it's such a NICE rear!
Lauren: *lets Micky up* We were figuring out if we're really in trouble with that gig tonight.
Mike: Anyone got any idea of what we're going to do about that?
Peter: We're going to play anyway, Mike! Lauren can sing, and we'll dub in the playing.
Mike: Thought Lauren said she couldn't sing.
Valerie: She has Micky's voice.
Micky: Which means you don't wanna hear me sing.
Lauren: There you go with that again.
Emma: Aw, lay off her, Mick. You're just jealous.
Micky: Yes, I am! I want my voice!
Peter: Mike, we ALL switched! Even the twins!
Mike: (Raises his eyebrows) The KIDS switched? Are they aware of it?
Valerie: Apparently, their grandmother is.
Lauren: About as aware as they could be.
Emma: (As Mike helps "her" to "her" feet as best "he" can) Mike, honey, how do you do it? How do you walk on these long legs without tripping over everything in sight?
Mike: I don't. You know what a klutz I am. (Shakes his head) How do YOU do it? Them customers at the Acme are totally crazy! I mean, some of them are nice, but some of them old folks are so demandin, and if I heard another obnoxious old man make another stupid joke, I would have broke a few eggs over people's heads. (Emma and Mike gingerly settle down on the psychiatrist's couch.)
Mike: I'm glad you have that new lady boss. She was a real help, but those girls behind the counter gossip like a buncha walkin' tabloids! (Growls) Don't they ever ask different questions? No, I DON'T know when the store's gonna be remodeled. No, I DON'T know why the store is cold, or why Father Time ain't played nice with it. (Groans) And the standing...just standing there, doin' the same thing over and over again for three or four hours at a time. It ain't like playin' on a stage for an hour or two, then you get a drink and let someone else take over.
Emma: NOW you know why I'm always tired when I come home.
Mike: (Looks at Emma's messy jumpsuit) What happened you YOU?
Emma: Cars did.
Mike: Aw, come on, darlin'. Cars ain't all that hard to figure out.
Emma: They are when you've only driven a truck ten inches once in the 20-some-years of your existance.
Mike: Most small cars are fairly simple...
Emma: But there are all the "models." Models from Germany are different than the ones from America, and the American cars are different than the ones from Japan, and the Fords are different than the Pontiacs, and the Mustangs are different than the Hondas! They all look the same to me!
Mike: Guess I'm just used to them. In Texas, havin' a car means total freedom. A lot of towns are spread out, and there are miles of desert in between and not a lot of busses. (Grins) 'Sides, in some ways, makin' and repairin' cars is as much of an art as writin' books or music. Some of the classic cars I've worked on are as beautiful as any work in the Malibu Beach Art Museum.
Micky: *grins* Or moreso. ;)
Emma: (Shrugs) Cars just never were that much of a deal with me, I guess because I didn't hang out with many guys. My sisters are into cars, but they handle men better, too.
Mike: What's wrong with men? I think we're a good bunch, mostly.
Emma: Most of the boys I knew thought I was a freak. I wasn't one of the pretty girls with the long hair who could play the piano and do gymnastics and walk around in gorgeous frilly dresses. I was the awkward daughter of a commercial fisherman and an aspiring artist.
Mike: You're just insecure, honey.
Emma: So are you. You're always talking about how the girls in Texas made fun of you because you were poor and prefered writing poetry to playing football.
Peter: She's right, Mike.
Mike: Chicks don't get me.
Emma: I do.
Micky: My job is done. *grins*
Emma and Mike: (Warily - in unison) What do you mean?
Peter: He wanted you guys to understand each other...(grins)...and now we all do.
Micky: Exactly.
Emma: (Nods) You wanted me to know what it's like to be a man...
Mike: And me to understand why girls do what they do.
Lauren: *sighs* You're off the hook, Mick.
Micky: *whew* Good.
Davy: Awww, I was lookin' forward to gettin' Mick for this one!
*Micky sticks "his" tongue out.*
Mike: (Puts his hand on his stomach) Darlin...
Emma: (Takes one of "his" hands) Mike, this is truly our child now. If I ever get back in my own body, we'll both have carried it. You know what it's like now to have something so precious in you.
Mike: It's overwhemin'. I mean, I nearly passed out when you told me I was a father, but to actually have the beginnin's of a life inside you...
Emma: We're going to do everything we can to protect this child.
Mike: (Squeezes "her" hand) And the woman carrying it.
Emma: Which would be you now.
Micky: Aww... *wipes away a nonexistant tear while trying not to laugh*
Mike: Yeah, but darlin', you know you're gonna need help when you get further along in the pregnancy. Lauren did.
Lauren: Whether you like it or not, Em.
Emma: (Nods; quietly) I know, guys. I just...it's such a shock.
Daphne: Why? You've been married for almost a year now.
Emma: I never thought I would have a steady boyfriend, much less a child of my own, and now... (pats Mike's stomach)
Mike: (Shakes his head) Us...parents...
Micky: Somebody warn the world!
(Everyone laughs, including Emma and Mike on the couch.)
Peter: If nothing else, the twins will have a friend.
Lauren: And, no doubt, someone to come up with plans with to drive all of us nuts.
Mike: Your kids better not corrupt our kid!
Micky: Corrupt YOUR kid? :P
Emma: (Grins) Well, if it's a boy, little Micky will have someone to be noisy with. ;)
Mike: And Shelly will have someone to share secrets with if it's a girl. (Looks at "his" watch) We'd better start rehearsing, guys...(looks sheepish)...um, girls.
Emma: And us girls are going to have to look like we know what we're doing.
Daphne: (Makes a face) Speak for yourself.
Valerie: I agree.
Lauren: This is going to be an interesting gig...
Emma: Tell me about it. I know absolutely NOTHING about the guitar other than it sounds nice.
Mike: (Gently puts "his" arms around "her" and pretends to strum a guitar) I'll show you how to make the motions, Em. You don't have to actually play.
Lauren: At least I know I can sing now. And play somewhat.
Mike: That's right, she got Mick's voice.
Emma: And I have yours, so I could probably do your songs.
Micky: Show him what he can do!
Emma: (Grins, bouncing up on Mike's long legs) Sure! Any requests?
Mike: Just be kind, ok, darlin'? You know how I feel about my songs.
Emma: I love your songs, honey, and I love to sing them, in anyone's voice.
(Emma steps on the stage, between Daphne and Davy. "She" adjusts a microphone.)
*Lauren takes up her seat at the drumkit again.*
Emma: Ok, ladies and gentlemen...and the other way around. (Winks) In honor of the announcement of our child, I'm going to sing the song that Mike wrote for our wedding, "I've Just Begun to Care" Propin...prop...propinqu...
Mike: "Propinquity?"
Emma: (Nods, sheepish) Um, anyway, I'm going to sing that. (Looks behind her) Hit it, gang! ;) :)
*Lauren counts off again, and the group goes into the lovely song. Micky still tries to direct Lauren, but "she" ignores "him."*
(Emma sings...very much with Mike's voice, but without the Texas accent. Valerie and Peter play, Peter once again showing Valerie which chords to hit. Davy and Daphne grin as they play along.)
Emma: (Turns to the others) Well, guys, how was that?
Lauren: Alright, Em! :D
Mike: I'm gonna have to give you a crash-course on Texas-isms, darlin'. Other than that, you were fine.
Emma: (Blushes) Thanks, everyone. (Turns to Mike) Thanks, honey. That's praise, coming from you.
Daphne: And what am I going to do? I'm from Bakersfield, not Manchester, England!
Davy: We'll work on your accent, too, luv. You didn't sound that bad on the phone this mornin'.
Micky: And, babe, you got the singing, but you MUST have a crash course in drumming. *Lauren sticks "her" tongue out at "him."*
Mike: You're welcome....honey.
Peter: I can show you some chords to play some of our songs tonight, Valerie!
Valerie: (Takes his hand) I'd like that. Thank you, Peter.
Lauren: *grins* We HAVE to put "Randy Scouse Git" in tonight's playlist. *grins widely* ;)
Daphne: She just wants to play the tympani.
*Micky slaps "his" forehead.*
Mike: It's already in tonight's playlist, Laur. It really gets the crowd hoppin'.
Lauren: Darn right! *taps out the riff on a tomtom.*
Peter: It's our first number!
Micky: This isn't REALLY how I act, is it?
Davy: (Nods) Yeah, it is, mate.
Mike: Sorry, Mick, but he's right.
Micky: *sighs* So I guess I had something to learn out of this, too.
Mike: Yup. We ain't leavin' you outta THIS one, Mick! ;)
Lauren: *pokes "him" with a stick* You got it, "babe." ;)
Davy: (Puts down his guitar and goes to Daphne) Let me show you some of my moves. I do all our choreography.
Daphne: (Grins at "Davy") You do all the choreography because YOU'RE the only one dancing!
Davy: Very funny. Now, follow my lead... (He and Daphne practice some of Davy's moves on the bandstand. Emma and Mike end up back on the couch as the others rehearse.)
Emma: Mike...what are we going to do tonight if we don't switch back?
Mike: (Puts "his" arms around "her" gingerly as "she" leans her long head on "his" narrow shoulders) I don't know, darlin'. I just don't know.