Emma: Well, everyone ready to celebrate this new year by walking a mile in someone else's shoes, boots, sneakers, or moccassins? ;)
Lauren: *grins* Yeah! ;)
Peter: Yeah...huh? :/
Micky: Say what?
Mike: Yes...I think. :p
Davy: I ain't gonna ask. Let's just staht. :p
*Lauren chuckles.* ;)
(It's about two or three weeks after Christmas. New Year's has come and gone, and the decorations in Micky and Lauren's house have been reluctantly returned to boxes and put in storage. The four boys rehearse for their Club Fairview gig in the "Rainbow Room," the bright-colored rehearsal stage that first appeared in "Ooh Baby Baby." Emma and Lauren sit in chairs, the babies on their laps. Valerie is reading a bridal magazine, one eye on the boys. "Pleasant Valley Sunday" comes to a close. The girls "clap," or make the babies clap.)
Emma: Very nice, guys. (Nods at Shelly in her lap) Shell thinks so, too.
Lauren: *grins* So does Little Mick.
*Micky and Davy take a bow.*
Davy: Ahh, our public.
(Peter beams. Valerie beams back.)
Davy: (Looks at his watch) I've got to 'ead out, guys. Daphne's meetin' me here. I'm gonna go watch 'er and the girls play at the Club Fairview, then take 'er to dinnah somewhere. :)
Mike: Em and I oughtta be goin', too.
Micky: Remember to be home at a reasonable hour, Dave.
Mike: Earlier than daybreak would be nice.
Micky: That'd be a great title for a song!
Lauren: *shakes her head* Mick... ;)
Mike: What, "Earlier than daybreak?" (Grins) Hey, you're right.
Emma: (Makes a face) I haven't been feeling well lately. (Rubs her stomach) I'm hoping to get a call tonight that should clear that up.
Peter: Emma went to the doctor's office this morning.
Lauren: *looks concerned* Oh, man...
Mike: (Puts Black Beauty in her case and goes to his wife) Darlin', are you ok?
Davy: Maybe she got that virus that's been goin' 'round.
Emma: (Smiles) I should be when I hear from the doctor.
*Lauren tries not to grin. Micky smacks his forehead.*
Peter: She was throwing up this morning! I didn't think my ten grain pancakes were THAT bad!
Emma: Peter, honey, it wasn't the pancakes.
Mike: (Eyes widen) You mean you might...you mean we...I...we could...
(Emma nods with a smile and bounces Shelly on her knee.)
*Micky cackles.* ;)
Valerie: (Hugs Emma lightly) Really? That's WONDERFUL!
Mike: Oh, man, darlin', you're really...I mean we might...have a kid?
(Emma can only nod again and beam dreamily while Shelly plays with the buttons on her shirt. :D )
Davy: 'Ey, Em, Mike, that's really great!
*Lauren grins widely and gives Emma a one-armed hug.*
Micky: I knew you had it in you, Mike!
Peter: Oh, wow! Groovy! (Hugs Emma gently)
(Micky ducks a thrown guitar pick.)
Micky: What was THAT for?
Emma: (Blushing big-time) Now, boys...
Lauren: Don't push it, Mick!
Mike: Not everyone is part bunny rabbit, Mick!
*Micky shrugs, still grinning.*
Emma: Guys, don't start.
Peter: The last time we all argued, we had that really weird nightmare! I don't want one of those again!
Micky: *eyes widen slightly* Oh, yeah... *makes a face*
Emma: (Shakes her head) Won't happen again. Shelia and her "uncle" Zero are gone, remember? We beat the Devils. Even Humphery Bogart couldn't do that.
Mike: Um, not exactly.
*Micky looks down.*
Peter: (Lets Emma go and turns to his friend) Michael, what's wrong?
Mike: (Turns to Mick) We really should tell them now. We're gonna have to protect the babies...and now, Emma too.
Emma: (Narrows her eyes) What?
Valerie: What's wrong?
Micky: *nods* We have to. *sighs*
Lauren: I don't like this.
Valerie: Me either.
Emma: (Bounces Shelly again) Ok, guys, spill it. What's wrong? You two look like you just saw Shelia and Zero poking around in the shrubbery or something.
Micky: Or one of them, at least.
Mike: Shelia ain't dead.
(Everyone's eyes widen.)
Emma: What?
Lauren: How?
Davy: You must be joking!
Peter: Oh no!
Mike: We're not sure. Ursula can feel her sister, though...and she knows she ain't dead. She must have escaped....(eyes widen)...when she knocked us out the window during that little jam concert we had at the Montgomery House that took Zero out!
Micky: She snuck away!
Emma: (Nods) That's right. Zero and the demons were the only things in the room when we were playing. She was still outside. The music must not have been strong enough out there to kill her.
Lauren: And she's been out there the whole time!
Emma: Why hasn't she attacked since March?
Micky: Recuperating, I'm sure.
Mike: Accordin' to Ursula, we really drained her...and when Zero, um, died, she inherited his dough and his holdings. She's apparently spent a lot of time figurin' those out.
Lauren: Oh, good Lord.
Valerie: And then came Christmas, which I doubt is a demon's favorite holiday.
Mike: Urse says it makes her real annoyed and drained and she don't go out much in December.
Micky: *half grin* I'd have killed her with my holiday spirit alone.
Emma: (Frowns) But now that the holidays are over...
Mike: We're fair game again...especially you, Em.
Emma: I will NOT let her get to me. I'm going to have this child whether she likes it or not.
Lauren: You tell 'er, Em!
Mike: (Goes to her and takes her hands; Valerie takes Shelly off her lap) I'll do everything in my power to protect you and our child, if we're gonna have one, Em. I'd die if I lost you or it.
Davy: I'm sure THAT would make Shelia's day.
Peter: (Shakes his head) No, it wouldn't. She liked Mike, remember?
(Mike winces.)
Emma: If she tries to brainwash a father-to-be, I'll give her a love-in she'll NEVER forget!
Davy: She already did. (Looks up at Micky)
*Micky just makes a face.*
Lauren: We have to keep an good eye on the twins too, not that we don't already.
Mike: (Nods at the kids) Right, Lauren. The babies still have very innocent souls that I'll bet Shelia would LOVE to get her hands on.
Micky: THAT ain't gonna happen.
Peter: She'd try to raise the twins to hurt people!
Emma: (Eyes flare) Never.
Mike: You'd better believe it, darlin'.
Valerie: As I recall, she has no love lost for Emma, either.
Emma: No. She hated me...and probably hates me even more now, after what happened in the attic of the Montgomery House.
Valerie: Can't imagine she's crazy about Daphne or me, either.
Davy: And Daph gets irked so easily...
Mike: Davy, you're gonna have to talk to Daph about controllin' her temper. Gettin' in Shelia's face like she does is a good way to get her killed...or at best, turned into an animal or somethin'.
Davy: I love that girl, and I admire 'er tempah, really, but it gets 'er into trouble...and I know Shelia couldn't 'ave been crazy about it or 'er.
Valerie: (Puts an arm around Peter) And don't forget us.
Peter: We're getting married, and I don't think Shelia likes marriage very much!
Micky: Hey, lets face it, Shelia don't like ANY of us. *folds his arms*
Valerie: Except for Mike.
Mike: (Makes a face) Man, what's WITH that chick? Why don't she just accept the fact that I ain't my ancestor?
Micky: Who knows?
Emma: I guess that's how much she loved him.
Valerie: Or lusted after him, more likely. I'll bet she'd love to get all the guys in her bed.
Lauren: Let's not go there.
Peter: She didn't seem interested in me that way.
Valerie: (Mutters) Thank goodness.
Davy: I wouldn't go to bed wit' 'er if she 'ad me undah a 'undred spells!
Mike: That's what I would have said a year ago, Dave.
(Mike grumbles and Emma blushes.)
Micky: Now you see why we didn't wanna tell you.
Emma: I understand that, but don't forget, us girls can protect YOU boys and the babies just as much as you can protect US.
Lauren: Darn right!
Mike: We didn't want to worry you, darlin'. (Rubs her stomach) You're gonna be awfuly vunerable with a little one in you.
Emma: (Puts her hand on the hand that runs across her stomach) I'll be ok, Mike. I'm good at taking care of myself. I lived in a little apartment all alone for years.
Mike: Yeah, but you didn't have any devils and who-knows-what-else chasin' you in New Jersey.
Lauren: Well, Shelia will have to get past ME first.
Micky: *rolls his eyes* Babe...
Peter: Emma, you took care of Lauren when she was pregnant. Let her-and US-take care of you now.
Emma: Guys, I don't know if I even AM pregnant.
Mike: Well, if you are, you won't be able to swing that hockey stick of yours around with a kid in you.
Lauren: Let me swing the hockey stick for you.
Emma: Mike, I hate feeling helpless. You know that.
Mike: (Rubs her hands now) So do I, darlin', but you have an important job. You're gonna have our child (grins at Lauren) or children.
Emma: We don't even KNOW yet.
Lauren: Just in case, Em.
Emma: It won't be easy. I'm so used to being able to do things on my own...(softly)...and to being able to watch over the ones I love.
Peter: Nothing worth doing is ever easy, Emma!
Lauren: You can do it, Em. I know you can!
Mike: I'm here for you, darlin'.
Micky: *nods* We're all here for you. :)
Emma: (Sighs) What are we going to do with it when...if it comes? We don't have much money. We're saving as much as we can to buy and fix the Pad. Neither of us have parents in the area willing to watch it all the time when we work, and we'll need baby clothes and food and formula and...
Mike: Darlin', you're worriyin' too much. Lauren and Micky have done ok, and they have TWO kids.
Emma: (Grins faintly at Mike) You're one to talk, honey.
Micky: I'm still standing, ain't I?
Mike: (Looks at Micky behind his drums) Actually, Mick, you're sittin'.
Davy: 'E's right. ;)
Micky: *Sticks his tongue out* Funny! :P
Emma: Ok, guys, enough. (Sighs) I wish this wasn't going to be such a literal and figurative pain in the rear.
Peter: (Frowns) Emma, you're scared.
Emma: You boys don't understand. It's not easy to have a child or carry one...or two...in you!
Lauren: You'll be fine, Em.
Micky: Or be on the receiving end of someone who's carrying two kids.
Lauren: *rolls her eyes* Oh, here he goes.
Mike: Darlin', I still love you. I'll love you through mood swings and yellin' and weird food cravin's. ;)
Emma: Nice to know.
Peter: (Hugs Valerie and Shelly, who is pulling at her gold chain necklace) You too, Val, when we have kids someday!
Valerie: (Grins faintly) Let's get married first, Peter.
Peter: OK! (Sighs dreamily) June seems just TOO far off.
Micky: *grins* You'll be okay, Pete.
Mike: Hey, Em, Mick didn't have problems with Lauren when she was pregnant!
Micky: *mutters* That you know about.
Emma: Other than complaining about mood swings and having to wake up at 3AM to buy ice cream?
Lauren: That wasn't too much.
Emma: And my job...(sighs) I'll have to take maternity leave.
Mike: More time for writin'.
Emma: (Sighs) Well, if Mom can survive four kids and Lauren can have a pair of beautiful Dolenzes, I can have one little Nesmith. (Smiles shakily)
Mike: Shouldn't be that hard! (Grins)
Lauren: Ha ha.
*Micky smirks.*
Emma: Mike, just promise you won't leave me.
Mike: I will, darlin'. I want to be a real father and give our child two parents and you the support you need.
Micky: *wipes away a nonexistant tear* That was beautiful!
Mike: I love my mom...but sometimes I missed havin' a man around the house, 'specilly after my uncle died.
(Davy gets on the bandstand and smacks Micky lightly on the shoulder with the tambourine.)
Emma: Mike, you just don't know what it's like to be a woman.
*Micky gives Davy a razzberry.*
Mike: I should hope not. I don't have the equipment.
Emma: (Rolls her eyes) That's not what I mean. You're John Wayne and tough talkin' blues and country. You don't understand how women think.
Lauren: Most guys don't.
Mike: (Makes a face) How about you? You don't know much about guys, either. You're always complainin' bout how dumb they can be, but do you really know what it's like to BE a guy?
Emma: I don't think I want to know.
Mike: See, darlin'? You always do that when it comes to the opposite sex.
Emma: (Turns red) I haven't had the best experience with men in the world. My dads aren't always at home, I didn't have a brother until I was 12, and I spent most of my grade school years listening to boys and their girlfriends tell me I was ugly, stupid, crazy, and walked funny.
Peter: But WE don't tell you that, Em!
Mike: Darlin', you gotta get over that.
Micky: We're better than that, I think...
Emma: What about you? Didn't you tell me the girls in Texas were just as nasty to you, honey, because you were poor and thin and shy?
(Mike mutters and turns away.)
Valerie: You can't let that get to you now, though. You may be having a beautiful child or even two! They'll need a man and a woman in their life!
Peter: Children need balance to guide them.
Lauren: That's right.
Valerie: My mother's gone, but Chrissy still has me, and Dad, and our grandparents.
(Daphne walks in. Davy goes to her as Mike gets up and starts putting instruments away. Emma walks to the other end of the room, her face a mixture of worry and bemused happiness.)
Daphne: Hi, Davy! Ready to go to the Club Fairview? The girls are waiting for us outside.
Davy: (Nods at Daphne) We'll leave in a few minutes, Daph.
Daphne: Well, let's hurry! The girls don't wait well, and the van guzzles gas.
Davy: (Puts his arms around Daphne) I think they'll keep for a few moments more, luv. They ain't gonna melt. (Leans agains the drum set and kisses her.)
(Peter and Valerie put their arms around each other and go to the French doors that overlook the veranda and the pool. Valerie hands Shelly over to Micky before they go. They discuss wedding business, ignoring the others. Davy and Daphne help Mike with the equipment. Emma goes over to the French doors as well and sighs.)
*Micky takes a seat next to Lauren.*
Lauren: *glances at Micky* You have that look on your face. *elbows Micky* Out with it.
Micky: I had an idea.
Lauren: Oh no...
Micky: *quietly* What if Emma and Mike had a chance to see what the other's going through? *waggles his eyebrows*
Lauren: Mick, I really don't think that's such a good idea.
Micky: Why not? It'll be fine. I'll just use my powers. It'll only last a day... not even a day. Just long enough to make them understand each other just a little bit more. ;)
Lauren: Mick, everytime we do this, it backfires somehow.
Micky: Well, I'm bound to not have it backfire sooner or later, right?
Lauren: Just...do whatever you're gonna do.
(Daphne and Davy are two steps from making out against the drums. Mike just rolls his eyes.)
Mike: (Mutters) Wish they'd take it to a room or somethin'.
*Micky closes his eyes, a small smirk in place. Lauren rolls her eyes.*
(Valerie and Peter murmur into each other's ears, Valerie's head laying on Peter's shoulder. He gently lifts her chin, and they, too, kiss. Mike finally goes to Emma and puts his arms gently around her.)
*Micky still has his eyes closed. Lauren gets impatient and leans against him, poking his leg.*
Micky: *opens his eyes & grins* Oh boy, are those two in for a surprise! ;)
Lauren: Do I even want to KNOW what you just did?
Micky: *whispers* When Mike and Em wake up tomorrow, they're gonna see how it feels to be the other...literally. ;)
Lauren: *looks up at him* What?
Micky: They'll be IN each other's body. *grins wider* I get to practice time delay in my powers this way.
Lauren: I knew it.
Mike: (Nuzzles the still-somewhat-worried Emma; whispers) It'll be ok, darlin'. We'll make this work.
Emma: (Smiles a little) Thanks, honey.
Mike: (to the others - Peter and Valerie are no longer kissing, but they're still in each other's arms. Daph and Davy are still necking on the bandstand) Ok, guys. Time to head home. We'll meet here for practice tomorrow before going to the Club Fairview.
Daphne: (Finally breaks from Davy - both are panting and grinning ear-to-ear) As much as I'd like to continue this, the girls ARE waiting for us.
Davy: Think the girls would notice if we continued this in the van?
Daphne: Uh, yes. And they WILL talk.
Davy: Damn. (Snaps his fingers)
Micky: Since when do you care if there's an audience, Dave? ;)
(Davy and Daphne blush.)
Daphne: There actually ARE a few private things in this world.
Lauren: Mick still doesn't know what those things are.
Davy: Maybe we'd bettah go, luv. Mick, Lauren, kids, I'll see you tomorrah. I'll see everyone else at the Pad latah.
Daphne: See you guys later! (The two quickly make their way out)
Peter: (Turns to face Valerie) Val...
Valerie: (Shakes her head) I've got things to do for Dad tonight and tomorrow, not to mention attend Chrissy's piano recital. I should be out in time to see you guys play at the Club Fairview tomorrow.
Peter: Groovy!
Valerie: (Gives him another little kiss, this time on the cheek) I love you, Peter. (Heads out)
(Peter puts his hand on his cheek and remains where he is with a dreamy look on his face. ;) :X)
Micky: Awww! *Lauren elbows him.*
Mike: Yeah, time for the rest of us to head out. Let's go, guys. (Emma starts across the room, but Peter remains where he is. He still looks dreamy. Mike snaps his fingers in Peter's face.) Pete? Pete, you in there? It's time to go home!
Peter: Huh? (Eyes come back into focus) Oh, hi, Mike.
Emma: Leave him alone, Mike. He's in love.
Mike: Well, he's gonna miss the boat if he doesn't get his feet movin'.
Peter: I'm coming. (Crosses the room, following Emma. As he leaves; to Emma) But we're came here in the MonkeeMobile, not a boat! (Emma just sighs.)
Mike: I'd better go, too. Meet us at the Pad for rehearsal at four. (Crooked grin) Have a nice night, guys (tickles the babies), kiddies.(finally leaves)
Lauren: Speaking of, probably ought to put the twins down for the night, assuming you don't feel like getting up at 3am.
Micky: (Looks at little Micky) Does your daddy like getting up at 3AM? (Turns to Lauren and grins) NAAAAAHHHH!
Lauren: *laughs* Well, neither does Mommy!
(The twins gurgle and giggle.)
Micky: (Hoists Shelly) You know what I think, little lady?
Lauren: She'd say "what?" if she could.
Micky: (Chuckles as he heads out the door) I think this little lady needs a bath, and her brother probably does, too.
Lauren: Yeah... *gets up to follow* but this time, could you not soak ME, too? *heads out the door*
Micky: (Heard from outside the Rainbow Room) Why not? It's fun! Isn't it fun to soak Mommy, kids?
(Baby burbling)
*Lauren groans loudly.*
(We fade from the empty Rainbow Room to Emma and Mike's room in the former basement of the Pad. It's reletively neat and tidy, but rather dark except for a string of Christmas lights on one wall. Emma and Mike are sleeping in a large, somewhat dilapadated bed on one side. Emma is the first one to awken. She yawns and turns to Mike...but then frowns.)
Emma: (Texas accent) What the...darlin'? (Puts her hand on her stomach) Oh, man, do I feel lousy... (puts her hand over her mouth, grabs Mike's brown robe from a chair near the bed, and runs up the stairs and out of the basement.)
Mike: (His voice is accent-less) Honey? Honey, was that you? Are you ok? (His eyes flutter open - he then frowns) There's something wrong. (Looks down at himself...and screams) OH MY GOD! (Pulls the blanket around his body and goes to the full-length mirror between a closet and a dresser.) I...I'm Mike! I CAN'T be Mike! I'm a woman! This can't be happening! (Suddenly, there are screams from upstairs. Mike...Emma...runs upstairs, holding the blanket around her private parts. Peter runs out of his room and Davy runs out onto the balcony, both looking shocked and wide-eyed.)
Mike: Guys?
Peter: (Shakes "his" head) No, I'm Valerie!
Davy: (He, too, is accent-less) And I'm Daphne. (Makes a face and puts up a fist) If this is Davy's idea of a joke, I'm gonna give that Brit a whack in his pretty little face so hard, his mouth will end up on the floor like in those "Duck-Rabbit-Duck" Looney Tunes!
Mike: (Nods) I'm Emma! Where's Mike? Is he here?
Valerie: I thought I saw someone running into the bathroom.
Daphne: This is insane! How did this happen?
Emma: Believe me, Daph, I wish I knew. I don't WANT to be a guy! No offense, but it's a lot easier to embrace and cuddle your husband when you aren't in his body. (Looks at "her" body) Not that it isn't a nice body, but (makes a face) doesn't he ever eat?
(The phone rings as Valerie and Daphne join Emma in the living room. Emma gets to it first.)
Emma: He...(remembers who she is supposed to be and does her best Texas accent)...Hello?
Valerie: Who is it? (The other two "girls" join Emma at the phone)
Daphne: If it's Davy, tell him I'm going to kill him first and ask questions later if he had anything to do with this. :p X(
Micky's voice: I'M GONNA KILL HIM, EM!
Emma: You guys, too?
Valerie: Uh oh.
Daphne: If she keeps screaming like that, she'll go hoarse.
Lauren: I KNEW something would go wrong! Did he LISTEN? NO!
Emma: (Makes a face) "He?"
Daphne: Oh good grief!
Valerie: (Rolls her eyes) Micky. Figures.
Lauren: We're coming over. I won't kill him until he's in his OWN body. *slams the phone down*
Valerie: (As Emma puts the phone down) Not good?
Emma: Not good. Sounds like Micky had something to do with this.
Valerie: (Groans) Another experiment that backfired on him.
Daphne: And on all of us this time.
*There's a knock at the door. Valerie opens it. It looks like Micky has Lauren in a headlock.*
Lauren: This was the worst thing I could think of that wouldn't damage my body!
Micky: Awe, c'mon, babe, I apologized!
Emma: And they switched, too, if her screaming was any indication...(goes to the door) Oh, good lord almighty.
Valerie: Ok, Mick, how did it happen THIS time?
Emma: Did the twins switch, too?
Daphne: And why am I in a man's body? (Makes a face) Not to mention a few inches shorter!
Micky: *as Lauren finally lets him go; gulps* It was only supposed to happen to Emma and Mike!
Emma: (Eyes widen) Don't kill him, Lauren. Give ME that pleasure first! (Lunges for Micky)
Lauren: Not while he's in my body!
Micky: *yelps* Hey!?
("Mike" comes downstairs in Emma's body, wiping his lips and looking shaky.)
Mike: (Emma's voice with a Texas accent) Man, I feel awful. (Frowns) Em? Mick? What...
Emma: (Glares at Micky) Mr. Wizard here decided we should all switch bodies.
*Micky tries to sneak away, but Lauren grabs "his" ponytail.*
Mike: What? Mick, the doctor called last night!
Emma: Micky Dolenz, I'M PREGNANT! (Sighs) Or I WAS...
Micky: *frowns* Oops...
Mike: (Indicates his plump, voluptuous body) And now I have to walk around with a kid in me and get sick every mornin'.
Emma: Better you getting sick than me.
("Mike" just makes a face at her. :p )
Micky: Now you know how Emma feels!
Lauren: *glares at "him"* You are NOT helping!
Emma: This is weird. I'm not used to seeing OVER people's heads.
Lauren: You and me BOTH!
Mike: And I ain't used to havin' to look UP at them.
Daphne: Tell me about it.
Emma: Is that a short joke?
Micky: I feel like I might get stepped on down here.
Lauren: *eyes narrow* No, THAT was a short joke! *jerks "his" ponytail*
Daphne: Micky, I'm Daphne, Davy's girlfriend?
Valerie: Micky, I'm Valerie! I love Peter to death, but I don't belong in THIS body! (Looks down at her orange footie pajamas) And I must discuss his choice of sleeping apparel the next time I see him and he's male.
Micky: This wasn't supposed to happen to everyone!
Mike: Well, it did, Mick. I'll bet your kids even switched.
Lauren: Better NOT have. We dropped the kids off at Janelle's.
Micky: I'm SORRY, okay?!
Valerie: You know, something just occurred to me.
Daphne: Me, too. If Val and I are here, where are Davy and Peter?
Lauren: *eyes widen* Uh oh...
(The phone rings at that moment. Emma gets to it first.)
Emma: (In her fake Texas accent) Hello, Tork/Nesmith/Jones residence.
Valerie's Voice: (Sobbing) I WANNA GO HOME! I LOOK LIKE VALERIE AND I'M SCARED AND I WANT MY TEDDY BEAR!!!!!
Valerie: Oh, man. (Puts "her" hand over her heart) He's scared to death. Chrissy should be at school by now, but he's going to have to avoid Dad somehow.
*Lauren smacks the back of Micky's head.*
Valerie: Tell him to take my car over here and to tell Albert to tell Dad something very important came up and I'm going to have to skip the Malibu Beach Civic Club meeting this morning.
Emma: Heard that, Pete?
Peter: (Sniffles) Y...yeah...
Emma: We'll figure something out, honey. Don't worry, ok?
Peter: (A little brigher) Ok. (Gulps) I'm still scared, though. Why do I look like Valerie? How did I end up in the mansion? Michael, why does your voice sound funny? You don't sound like yourself
Emma: (Sighs) We'll explain it when you get there.
Peter: All right, Michael. I guess you're just excited over Emma having a baby. See you later!(Hangs up)
Mike: Oh, man. How are we going to explain this to Pete?
Lauren: We'll just tell him it's Mick's fault.
Daphne: (Eyes widen) Wait a minute. If we're all here and the babies are with Micky's mom and Peter's at the Cartwright mansion, Davy...
Mike: Davy must be at your place with the... (eyes also widen)
Lauren: Oh, crap.
Emma: (Finishes) ...The girls. Davy amid four young, buxom, probably half-dressed young women. :o
Daphne: In MY body.
Micky: He's in Heaven.
Lauren: He WILL be if they figure out he's not really her!
Daphne: If he touches my chest, I'm gonna pop him one, and I don't mean the question.
Valerie: We should warn them somehow.
(Daphne is already on the phone)
Daphne: Way ahead of you, Val. (Puts on her best British accent) 'Ello, luv? It's me, Davy. (Makes a face) I want to talk to Daphne. (Rolls his eyes) No, Amber, we didn't do THAT last night, and I am NOT hungover! I...have a really bad cold. That's why I sound weird. Just get Dav...Daph for me, ok, luv? Thanks, Amber. (There's a pause, and Daphne hisses, without the fake accent) David Thomas Jones, so help me god, if you've laid one cute little hand on my body or my roomates bodies, I'll... (Growls) No, I DON'T know what's going on, only that I'm at the Pad and you're not, and somehow, we ALL switched bodies. (Pause) Yes, Micky is now in Lauren's body and Mike is now in Emma's body and etcetera and so forth.
Lauren: *calls out* And it's Mick's fault!
Daphne: (Sighs) Yes, that was Lauren you heard, not Mick. Apparently, Micky's been experimenting again, or something. (Smirks) Get in line, Dave. We ALL want a piece of him, preferably in smaller pieces. Just get over here, ok? Tell the girls you had some shopping to do alone in the San Fernando Valley. I'll call the Sunshine Stables and tell them you're sick and you won't be coming in today. (Makes a face) Davy, if you even LOOK at any of my roommates that way, especially Amber, or touch my body at ALL other than to change clothes and use the bathroom, I WILL find a way to damage you. I'm stronger than you are now, remember? (Smirks and hangs up the phone) He's on his way.
Mike: (Turns slowly to Micky and Lauren) Ok, Mick. How did this happen, and should we dare ask WHY it happened?
Emma: Not more chemicals! :p
Valerie: But we didn't eat or drink anything when we were together last night.
Micky: *gulps* I just meant for you and Emma to understand how the other felt. *sighs* I used my powers.
Mike: Oh, man. (Puts his hand on Micky's shoulder) Man, thanks for tryin'.
Micky: But I'm still dead, aren't I?
Emma: (Shakes her head) It won't really do any good, Mick. You meant well, as usual. Now, you're just going to have to change us back.
Micky: Well, um, there's a slight problem with that.
Mike: (Narrows his eyes) How slight?
Emma: What kind of a problem?
Daphne: Why don't I like the sound of that?
Micky: I already tried to change us back. I can't do it. It's gotta wear off.
Lauren: Now you understand why I was yelling earlier.
Everyone in the room: (In Unison) WHAT????!!!!!!!
Mike: You mean, I might be carryin' around this kid all day? How can I fix cars if I can't lean over them or twist around inside them?
Emma: Or at all. Honey, we can't go to work like this. I'd NEVER explain this to the Acme!
Mike: Darlin', we need the money.
Emma: But I can't fix cars! All I know is that they run!
Mike: And I've never worked in a grocery store before!
Valerie: (Smiles) I wouldn't mind working with Peter's kids...(frowns) but I don't know how he'd handle my schedule.
Lauren: *eyes widen* Oh no. What if this doesn't wear off by tonight? The guys have their gig tonight!
(Emma, Valerie, and Daphne's eyes widen.)
Daphne: Oh god, you're right!
Mike: So we play.
Micky: Like this?
Emma: Honey, you can't. You're not the Monkees.
Mike: (Looks down at himself in Emma's round body - now HIS eyes are wide) Oh GOD...
Emma: I can't play guitar or bass!
Lauren: I can't sing or play the drums!
Valerie: I can play the piano and the keyboard, but not the bass or the guitar!
Daphne: (Shrugs) I can play the guitar, and I usually do the tambourines and maracas with the Abbies.
Valerie: You have the EASY part. You're a rock musician, and Davy doesn't play as many instruments as the others.
Lauren: At least Em can sing. *frowns*
Emma: (Nods, but then frowns) Yeah, I can sing...but country's not my strong suit, and that's mostly what Mike sings.
Valerie: I sing ok, not like a nightingale and certainly not like Mike or Mick...
Daphne: But Peter doesn't sing except for his own songs and "Your Auntie Grizelda."
Lauren: We're in BIG trouble!
Daphne: I can sing! I sing a lot of the Abbies' songs!
Mike: Oh, shit, Davy plays the drums sometimes, too. Daph, do you play drums?
Lauren: Please tell me you do!
Daphne: (Shakes her head) No. Maxine or Kim always played them.
Lauren: I'm dead.
("Peter" walks in at that moment, wearing Valerie's most colorful blouse, tight pants, a pair of soft boots, and love beads. It's obvious "he's" been crying. His attempt at make-up is smeared and messy, and he's rubbing his eyes.)
Valerie: Peter! Oh, honey, you look terrible. (Goes to "him" and takes him in her arms)
Peter: V...Valerie? Is that you...or is it me?
Valerie: (Shakes "her" head) It's a long story, Peter. It's Valerie...but Micky accidentally transferred my soul to your body, and vice versa. He was trying to help Mike and Emma understand each other better.
Peter: (Smiles) Oh. That's ok. Now we'll ALL understand each other better!
*Micky nods vehemenously.*
Lauren: He's STILL dead meat.
Peter: (Frowns) What's wrong? ("He" goes to Micky) Your aura isn't right. It looks more like Lauren's.
Micky: No kidding, Pete.
*Lauren rolls her eyes.*
Mike: Pete, he didn't just switch you and Val and Em and me. We ALL switched!
Peter: (Frowns) You mean...EVERYONE got switched around?
Lauren: Maybe even the twins! *glares at Micky*
Daphne: (Nods) Yeah. I'm Daphne. Davy is on his way over here in my hopefully un-ravaged body.
Peter: (Raises his eyebrows) Davy in a little apartment with all those girls? Uh oh.
Daphne: BIG uh oh. :p
Mike: Pete, there's somethin' else. We've got the Club Fairview gig tonight.
Peter: (Nods; grins) Yeah! (That's when it hits him) Oh, god, yeah...
Valerie: Honey, I can play the piano and the keyboards, but I don't know the first thing about guitars or any of the other instruments you play.
Peter: ("His" large blue eyes get misty) What are we going to do?
Lauren: Pray for a miracle?
Emma: We can't learn the instruments in less than a day. It just isn't possible.
Peter: You don't play guitar, do you, Emma?
Emma: (Shakes "her" head) Only a tiny bit of piano. I can sing, but I'm not great with Mike's country tunes.
Peter: Guess Lauren's never played the drums, either.
Lauren: Nope, and you already know I can't sing.
Daphne: I can play the guitar and I usually do the tambourine and maracas, and I can sing. I don't play the drums, though.
Lauren: We're dead.
(Davy enters at that point. "He" wears a very short pink minidress, a pink and white sweater, and white go-go boots. His make-up is impeccable and his hair is pulled back in a bun.)
Davy: (Daphne's voice with a British accent) Ok, mates, wot 'appened?
Lauren: Yet another plan of Micky's backfired.
Davy: Wot did 'e try to do to Mike and Em this time, and 'ow did WE get involved?
Mike: To make a long story short, he wanted us to walk a mile in each other's shoes...but somehow did it to EVERYONE.
Micky: I don't know what happened.
Emma: Micky, when did you do...it?
Micky: Last night, but I was trying a little time delay so it happened over night sometime.
Davy: 'Ow do I switch back? I got 'it on by three men on the bus comin' ovah 'ere!
Lauren: We don't switch back, at least not until it wears off.
Daphne: (Smirks) How does it feel to be on the reciving end of lousy pick-up lines?
Davy: Makes me feel like one of Micky's steaks, the kind 'e drools ovah while they're cookin'. :p
*Micky sticks "his" tongue out.*
Peter: See, Davy? Now you know how all the girls you ever chased feel like. This might be good for you and Daphne, too.
Emma: (Eyes widen) Oh SHIT! I have an interview today, with a fairly well-known scientist and doctor. A Dr. Marcovich, or something Eastern European-sounding.
(The "boys'" eyes get even bigger. Mike gasps.)
Mike: You WHAT?
Emma: (Shrugs) Don't look at me! The Register gave me the assignment.
Peter: (Gulps) That was the man who took my memory!
Micky: And almost took me out of the country instead of that other doctor!
Emma: That's him? The guy from the Remington Clinic who kidnapped that phyiscist? I've heard that story a couple of times now, but it might not be the same guy.
Davy: Didn't Tilly say a "mad" scientist got out of prison back in Novembah?
Mike: Oh, man...you mean there was finally somethin' to all her ramblin' after all? :p
Micky: Who knew?
Mike: Em, you can't interview that man. Not in or out of my body!
Emma: (Lip trembles) Honey, I have to! It's too late for them to get someone else!
Peter: What harm could it do? He doesn't know she's your wife. There could be other Nesmiths in LA.
Davy: If 'e's reformed...
Mike: Do you REALLY believe that?
Micky: Kinda doubt it.
Daphne: Actually, this might be a good idea. If this guy's really caused you that much trouble in the past, we could get the drop on him.
Valerie: Or at least figure out what he's up to now...and if it involves US.
Lauren: Good point.
Davy: Why would 'e be aftah us? 'E don't know we're even still in the area unless 'e's frequents the club scene, which I doubt.
Mike: Ever heard of "gossip," Davy? Word gets around small towns and suburbs like Malibu Beach pretty quick.
Daphne: He could just look you up in the phone book, too.
Lauren: Face it, guys, you're too well known for your own good.
Mike: Davy, do you know any weirdo on the face of this planet who ISN'T after us?
Davy: You don't think 'e were one of Zero's "minions?"
Mike: Wouldn't be surprised. No WONDER he was so interested in Pete.
Micky: It'd make sense.
Peter: (Whimpers and leans into Valerie) Don't let him get me! I don't want to forget my name and you guys again!
Mike: (Clenches "his" jaw) We won't, Pete.
Emma: Don't forget every villian's favorite word - "revenge." You guys DID send him to jail and probably discredited him with a lot of folks, too.
(Peter whimpers harder.)
Lauren: Wonderful.
Mike: Darlin', just be careful.
Emma: But Mike...I CAN'T give the interview! It's in two hours!
Mike: W...what? I ain't an interviewer!
Emma: I'll write down questions for you to ask. You just get him talking about general things, like his newest project and what he's done since he's been out of jail.
Mike: Em, maybe you'd better come with me.
Emma: I can't. I have to figure out the difference between a carburator and a dipstick. Some of the others could go with you, though. The interview is at that little cafe on Main Street, and there should be other diners there, too.
Mike: Oh, man, Em, you don't need to go to work! Not to MY work, anyway.
Emma: Yes I do! We need the money! How hard could it be to figure out?
Mike: At least bring a manual or somethin'.
Emma: That will alert Mr. Cardelli that something's wrong.
Micky: So will knowing nothing about a car.
Mike: I got some books on the top shelves of the old bookcase in our room, ok? Just read a couple of those before you go to work, and take them with you to use as a guide.
Emma: Speaking of guides, who's going to the interview with Mike?
Davy: I'll go.
Daphne: Me too. (Flexes an arm) Lend my sterling physique.
Davy: Don't do too much damage to that sterlin' physique.
Daphne: Bet I use it better than you do!
Micky: *sees Lauren's glare* I'm going
Lauren: Me too.
Emma: It shouldn't take too long. Marcovich only has about an hour. He said he had to get back to work quickly.
Mike: Good. (Puts a hand on his stomach again) Um, excuse me, folks. I think I've got to use the facilities. (Hurries upstairs, his hand still on his stomach)
Peter: What about us, Valerie?
Valerie: I could do your teaching, Peter. I like kids. (Sighs) You're going to have to go to all of my meetings, though, and pick Chrissy up from school.
Peter: I could pick Chrissy up. I know where her school is. I don't know about the meetings, though.
Valerie: (Smiles) You'll be fine, Peter. Just nod your head and look like you're listening.
Peter: Ok!
Emma: (Sighs) Ok, then. Davy, Daph, Mick, Lauren, you'll go with Mike to the cafe downtown. Come back here directly afterwards. DON'T stop anywhere, including at Millie's for cheesecake. We don't need to explain this to anyone else. I'll take the MonkeeMobile... (frowns) Oh, man. I don't drive! I haven't driven anything since I took my dad's truck out of the driveway when I was sixteen!
Valerie: I'll drive you to work, Em. The others can take the MonkeeMobile.
Emma: No, they can't. It would probably be less conspicuous if we took Lauren and Mick's car, not to mention people would talk if they saw me behind the wheel, since I don't drive.
Micky: Speaking of driving, babe, how the HECK do you reach the pedals? *Lauren smacks him*
Daphne: I was wondering the same thing about Davy and his jeep. (Davy smacks Daphne)
Emma: Ok, guys, enough. Daphne and Valerie need to get dressed, and Mike should be down in a minute. We'll meet back here in time for the rehearsal and report.
Peter: (Grins) Yes, Mama Bear!
Valerie: Or Mama Wolf.
Emma: (Rubs her hands across Mike's chin stubble) Yeah, I feel like a wolf, too. How can you guys stand all the hair on your chins?
Peter: I think it feels nice!
Valerie: Tell me about it. Peter's gets bushy.
Peter: Hey!
Micky: Lauren keeps making me shave it.
Valerie: Think I'll shave, too. I do NOT want to look like a bush.
Peter: Aw, and it was growing in nice!
Valerie: And I'm sorry, Peter, but you can't go to my meetings looking like a hippie. They dress very conservatively.
Peter: Aw, that's no fun!
Emma: Ok, ok, guys. I'm going to see if Mike's ok in my body. (Goes upstairs)
Peter: Do you think they've figured it out yet? Mike and Emma, I mean.
Micky: Knowing my luck, not yet. *sighs*
Davy: I 'ope they do soon, Val...Petah. For ALL our sakes.
Lauren: I think they're getting there. *pauses* Face it, Mick, you're dead meat no matter what. ;)
(Everyone laughs. Micky just groans.)