Everyone ready to run over to Lover’s Lane?

Mike: Sure.

Peter: All right! :D

Micky: You bet!

Davy: Sure!

(The camera follows the MonkeeMobile and two more cars as they drive up a winding path overlooking Malibu Beach. Micky stops the MonkeeMobile under a tree with a gorgeous view of Malibu Beach. The other two cars park a discreet, but not to far, distance away.)

Ursula: Why are we here again?

Mike: We're lookin' for the Cruiser. This is a real popular spot with kids and college students, even in our time.

Emma: Yeah. Mike and I went up here once, shortly after the Wild West trip...

Valerie: (Grins wickedly) Peter and I have been up here once or twice. (Peter blushes)

Micky: I know this place like the back of my hand!

*Lauren just sighs.*

Ursula: That doesn't surprise me.

Mike: Why don't we split up again?

Valerie: (Grins at Peter again) Yeah, none of us are going to get any action squashed in the car like this.

(Peter just drops down in the seat as Mike, Davy, and Micky whistle.)

Emma: (Sees a familiar junky car) Hey, look! (Waves as the car parks next to them) Hi, Susie and Benny! How's your night been?

Benny: (Grins) Interesting.

Susie: We went out to dinner at the new steakhouse on La Valentes Avenue, near Ol Man Tanner's field.

Mike: Old Man Tanner's Field?

Susie: Yeah, it's right out on the highway.

Valerie: (Whispers to Peter and Lauren, who are next to her) That's where the Tanner Shopping Center is now...and where they held the drag races!

Benny: Actually, we were looking for a couple of girls...

Susie: Some of my friends said that two of the Wild Riders' girls got mad at them and told them they were through with them. The Wild Riders don't like anyone touching their women, the pigs.

Mike: (Mutters) Always a spitfire, that girl, even when I knew her. (Out loud) We're just going to head off. Even this big car is kinda tight for all eight of us.

Benny: Yeah.

(Susie just makes a face. :p)

Mike: So, who wants to stay with Ursula, and who wants to head out?

Micky: I'll go!

Davy: *nods to Daphne* We'll stay and 'elp out 'ere.

Mike: We'll take the back seats. Don't want Emma getting eaten by bears.

Emma: You don't want to make out in the woods.

Valerie: Um, it's starting to look crowded here. We'll go.

Lauren: I'll go. *shrugs* Why not?

Peter: The woods are beautiful this time of night.

Mike: Ok, everyone, spread 'em out!

Emma: Mike, that's a loaded phrase, considering what most of the kids around us are doing.

Mike: Uh, well...

Valerie: Oh, just move!

(Everyone jumps out as "Shake 'Em Up" begins. Valerie takes Peter's hand and pulls him to the left. Micky drags Lauren in the opposite direction.)

(Emma gently lays her head on Mike's shoulder and sighs. He puts his arms around her and starts necking, moving up to her lips for a gentle kiss.)

(Benny and Susie neck passionately.)

(Valerie and Peter sit by a small pond and dip their toes in. They splash each other, laughing.)

(Benny tries to pull Susie closer, but she makes a face and pulls away.)

(Mike and Emma are now necking.)

(Valerie elbows Peter as Charlie and Candy join them. They all splash each other.)

(Davy nudges Daphne and points out what Susie's sitting on in the car - a black leather jacket.)

*Micky and Lauren lounge in a patch of brush, not quite out of sight. Eventually, the leaves start rustling, but not from the wind.*

(Charlie nudges Candy and indicates some trees. She grins and drags him over! Soon, there's rustling going on over there, too.)

(Peter grabs Valerie and drags her down beyond the camera's view. We hear gasping and "Oooh, Peter!")

(Everyone returns to the main clearing as the song ends, including the other cars. Mike and Emma are still necking. The camera drops down...to show Susie getting off of Benny as she buttons her shirt and he pulls his back on.)

Charlie: (As he and Candy walk into the clearing, followed by Valerie and Peter; he looks stunned) Wow that was..whoa...I mean...yeahhhhh...

Candy: Uh-huh.

Peter: Val, the woods aren't as pretty as you.

(Valerie just sighs.)

Ronnie: (He returns with his arm around his girl) It's getting late. Maybe we'd all better head back to the Valley now.

Mike: Huh?

Emma: Mike, people are watching!

Mike: They are? Oh. (He and Emma separate rather quickly)

Davy: *glances around* We're missing a pair of leaf rustlahs, mates.

Anthony: What, the mop-head guy and his chick?

Mike: They probably got caught up and lost track of time.

Davy: So wot else is new?

Susie: (Grins) Well, gang, why don't we... (sound of motorcycles in the distance) Oh shit, I think we have company!

Anthony: It's those Wild Riders!

Candy: What are they doing here?

Davy: Oh great. :P

Mike: (Pushes Emma behind him as a familiar group of motorcycles roar into view) I can take a wild guess.

(The motorcycles pull into the clearing, surrounding the cars. The leader gets off of his bicycle. Anthony and Willie's girls glare at them...as does Mike.)

Mike: What do you assholes want?

Emma: (Puts her hand on Mike's shoulder) Honey, be careful. They're likely to be armed, and at the moment, you are not.

Wild Rider 1: Wanna cut a deal with you punks. (Nods at Davy as Mike joins him) Saw the way you handled the blow-up at the drive-in. You got style, moxie. We like that.

Mike: Get to the point.

Wild Rider: We want you four to join our club.

Mike: (Raises an eyebrow) Come again?

Susie: What?

Davy: Excuse me?

Wild Rider 1: You're tough, and you do good in a fight. We could use you...if you pass our test.

Mike: (Groans) I knew it. I've done shit like this before. This is a dare, ain't it?

Wild Rider 1: Yeah, you might put it that way, Tex.

Emma: A dare?

Susie: (Narrows her eyes) What about the rest of us?

Willie: Yeah, what about the rest of us?

Wild Rider Girl 1: He's just mad he's been replaced!

Wild Rider 1: The rest of you (points to Willie's and Anthony's girls) are free to go if they accept. If they don't (cracks his knuckles) I'm not above getting a little rough.

Mike: (Closes his eyes) We'll accept your challenge.

Emma: Honey, are you crazy?

Peter: Michael, I don't wanna hurt anybody!

Micky: *has his arm around Lauren's shoulders as they join the group* You don't suppose the Chickens things would work again, do you?

Davy: Micky...

Mike: I wouldn't try it. I don't think they'll appreciate the eggs.

Valerie: Besides, these guys might know something about the Cruiser! Remember, Larry said the Cruiser would show up and stop their drag races?

Mike: Right. (Turns to the Wild Riders) The Guardians accept your challenge, Riders, on one condition. (Sweeps his arm to take in the others) Let the rest of the group go, including your women and ours. They have nothing to do with this.

Wild Rider 3: Why don't we take some replacement women? (Goes up to Daphne) You're kinda cute there, kid. Wanna get on my cycle?

Wild Rider 2: (Goes up to Valerie) You ain't bad either, sweetheart.

Wild Rider 4: (Goes up to Lauren) Hey cutie... ;)

Wild Rider Girl 2: (Grabs Lauren's) Hey! Don't get ideas!

*Lauren blows a razz at the Wild Rider.*

Wild Rider 3: (Grabs Daphne) Look, sweetie, I don't have a woman, and I'm feeling lonely tonight.

Daphne: Hey!? Let me go!

Wild Rider 2: (Grabs Valerie) This one's really hot! Love her style!

Valerie: (Struggles) Put me down, you ape!

Davy: Watch it, mate! These ladies ain't part of the deal! :P

Peter: (Wails) VAL! LET HER GO!

Wild Rider 1: Nahh, they like us better, don't they? (He looks up at the boys) Your first dare will be at the new housin' development they're buildin' down the street from Ol' Man Tanner's Field. Follow us. (They start their motorcycles and drive off, Daphne and Valerie struggling in front of two of them.)

Mike: I don't like where this is goin'.

Ronnie: I don't either.

Mike: Benny, take Susie home, then call the cops. (Looks at Ronnie and his friends) Go with him. Bring the Riders' girls. You're witnesses.

Susie: Take me home? Like hell I'd miss the action!

Benny: Susie, maybe he's right. I...I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt. Besides, (fingers the leather jacket under her) you have other things to do.

Susie: (Sighs in annoyance) Fine.

Mike: We'll meet you guys at the malt shop or at least call you.

Anthony: No problem!

(The remaining Monkees jump in Ursula and head off. The others follow in their respective cars.)

Mike: (Cut to in Ursula; Micky's driving again) Man, this whole thing is getting out of hand. :p

Peter: I'm scared! (Puts a hand on his heart) Val's just mad.

Micky: It's ridiculous, is what it is.

Ursula: Michael, why did you agree to this?

Mike: 'Cause I was afraid they'd hurt Val and Daphne if I didn't. (Makes a face) Besides, not only may they know somethin' about the Cruiser, but I wanna beat those assholes at their own game.

Ursula: You're lucky you didn't lose all of the girls!

Emma: We're lucky I'm pregnant and only two of their four girlfriends bailed out. One DID look awfully interested in Lauren until his girlfriend stepped in.

Lauren: Why do I get the feeling that may turn into a running gag? :P

(Ursula turns into a construction site. Half and quarter-built single-family homes stand quiet and desolate in the deep purple early morning hours. Only a lone bird relieves the stillness. Rows of wood slats and concrete blocks and pipes are lined up around high hills of dirt.)

Mike: (Frowns) Where are we?

Emma: This must be Fieldview Street, where the Fieldview Homes are! I remember some people in Malibu Beach mentioning they're new, but somewhat older than the Tanner Street Houses.

Micky: This looks interesting, to say the least.

(The Wild Riders are already there. The head Rider meets them at the beginning of the unfinished street.)

Wild Rider 1: Didn't think you'd show.

Mike: You have two of our women. You think we wouldn't?

Wild Rider 1: (Narrows his eyes) Watch your mouth, Tex.

Emma: What do you want?

Wild Rider 1: We want one of you to run through a little obstacle course. (Points at the construction site) One of you will go over two hills, then jump that ramp (points at two pieces of wood) and over those concrete pipes, then go through the center of those boards (points to two stacks of boards lined up parallel to each other) then over the largest hill and back to us. Who's willing?

All Four Monkees: (In unison) HE IS!

Wild Rider 3: What, chicken?

Micky: Matter of fact... ;)

Wild Rider 3: Let's make it more interesting. How about...you go over this course, or we keep your women and your jalopy and beat you up?

Ursula: (Under her "breath") Jalopy?

*This time, the guys each point at someone else.*

Wild Rider 1: (Whines) Well, SOMEBODY'S gonna go TODAY!

Emma: (Groans) How do we get involved in these things?

Lauren: And how do we stop?

Wild Rider 2: (Grabs Micky) How about this one?

Lauren: Hey!?

*Micky covers his eyes.* :P

Wild Rider 1: He'll do. Here. (Climbs off his motorcycle, pulling Valerie with him) Use mine. (Dusts off imaginary highway dirt) But you be kind to her! Don't blow her up, or anything crazy like that.

Micky: *gets on the bike* No, nothing crazy...

(Peter and Valerie exchange worried looks.)

*As Micky revs the engine, "That'll Be The Day" begins in the background. Micky the goes through the outlined "course," occasionally doing his best Goofy yell. Lauren has her hands over her eyes the entire time. Micky disappears near the end of the course as the music winds down...*

(Everybody cheers and yells and gasps and screams. The Monkees all scream "NO!" when Micky disappears and run to the end of the course.)

*The group finds a large hole dug out for a basement at the end of the course. They find Micky leaning on the bike, clearly unamused The gang members laugh.*

Mike: (As the music ends) Mick! You ok?

Micky: I'm fine, but I sure got a scare seeing this a split second before I fell into it!

Wild Rider 1: Aw, it ain't nuthin'! Look, my bike ain't even hurt!

Peter: But MICKY could have been hurt! Why didn't you mention that?

Wild Rider 1: Wanted it to be a surprise.

Micky: Gee, thanks. :P

Mike: (Wolf growl) You shit! You coulda really hurt Mick! (He puts out his fist, but Peter grabs it quickly)

Peter: (Whispers) Michael, control your temper! This is NOT the best place to turn into a wolf!

*Micky climbs out of the hole, pushing the bike and grumbling.*

Wild Rider 1: Not bad. That last jump even had me scared for a second!

Emma: Well, now what?

Wild Rider 1: Next, we're gonna have a little duel.

(The remaining Rider girls bring two old broom handles from a trailer on the construction site.)

Mike: What, we're gonna sweep each other to death?

Wild Rider 1: Sorta. Remember "Ivanhoe" with Liz Taylor and the "Prince Valiant" comics?

Peter: We're going to rescue Liz Taylor?

Wild Rider 4: Can we? :D

(His girl elbows him.)

Mike: You want to do a joustin' thing.

Wild Rider 1: You read your comics.

Mike: (Brings himself to his full height) I'll do this one.

Emma: (Puts a hand on his shoulder) Honey, be careful.

(Mike dips Emma and kisses her passionately but gently, being mindful of her stomach...then lets her go after a full two minutes and struts over to where the Wild Riders set up two motorcycles. Emma staggers into Lauren's arms, fanning herself.)

*Lauren fans her, too.*

Mike: (Gets on the motorcycle) I'm ready.

Wild Rider 1: (Gets on his motorcycle) Yeah, so am I.

("Runaway" by Del Shannon begins as the two Rider babes give Mike and the head Rider their brooms. We cut back and forth between Mike, the head Rider, and the others as they get closer and closer. When they get close to each other...they pass each other right by!)

(Mike turns around...but not as fast as the Head Rider, who comes at him and smacks him with the broom handle. He almost falls off, but rights himself. They get some close "combat" in - dueling with the broom handles - until they both turn back around, then go after each other again. A cloud of dust obscures the combatants as they face each other again!)

Peter: Oh god!

Emma: (Screams) MIKE! :o

(When the dust clears, we see Mike riding triumphantly out of it, rather like the White Knight that gives him his Guardian name. Cut quickly to the head Rider, just getting up off the ground next to his beloved motorcycle, his broom handle in two pieces. The other Riders run to their fallen leader; the Monkees and their wives run to Mike.)

Emma: Oh...oh Mike, don't ever do that to me again! (Throws her arms around him)

Mike: It's ok now, darlin'. I kicked that guy's butt.

Micky: Trying to outdo my drama, huh Mike?

Mike: Gotta keep the readers in their seats. ;)

Wild Rider 1: (Glares at Mike) Ok, boys. I'll give you that one fair and square. Now for your next one.

Wild Rider 3: I know a good one for them, and it won't involve anythin' gettin' bruised but people's egos.

*We switch right to inside one of the trailers. One of the Riders stands next to Davy as he dials the phone.*

Davy: *when the other end picks up* 'I, do you 'ave Prince Albert in a can? If you do, you'd better let 'im out! *hangs up*

(The Riders all laugh heartily. Mike makes a face. Peter sighs. Emma rolls her eyes. Valerie gags.)

Wild Rider 1: (Slaps Davy on the back) Hey, Brit kid, you're not bad!

Davy: *makes a face* Thanks, I think. Am I done?

Wild Rider 1: Nahh, you're on a roll! One more!

Davy: *sighs, picks up the phone, and dials again* 'I, is your refrigerator running? Well, go and catch it! *hangs up*

(More ribald laughter from the Wild Riders.)

Mike: This is gettin' dumb.

Peter: (Whispers) Mike, I think Susie and Benny are here. I saw their car.

Mike: (Nods and whispers) We're gonna go to them as soon as the Riders are finished annoyin' Dave. (Smirks) Although this part ain't so bad. I could do this more often.

Wild Rider 1: Ok, boys, one more dare...

Mike: No.

Wild Rider 1: No? (Looks at the other Riders) Did someone just say "No" to Vince Harris, the big man of the Wild Riders?

Wild Rider 2: Uh, I think so.

Vince: Look here, Tex, I make the rules. This is my turf. You wanna play here, you do what I want you to do. Got that?

Emma: (Raises her eyebrows as Mike narrows his and clenches his fists) Hoo boy, is he setting himself up for a bruising.

Peter: Nobody tells Michael that!

Mike: (Growls) That's it, pal. I've had just about enough of you and your juvenile jokes and dares and pranks and tearing things apart. You leave us alone and leave this town alone and start actin' your ages. Or else.

(The Wild Riders burst into laughter.)

Vince: Oh, that's a good one! Some skinny guy who don't even belong here is threatenin' the Wild Riders!

Wild Rider 2: Tell us another good one! What, are you guys going to fume us to death with your jalopy?

Mike: Don't you DARE insult that car. Ever.

Micky: *mutters* She could, too.

Mike: I'm givin' you guys five seconds to clear out, before you see what I'm like when I'm pissed.

Vince: Oooh, the stick's gonna poke me!

Emma: Maybe we'd better clear out. This could get ugly. :p

Mike: Heck yeah, I'll poke you! I'll poke you and prod you and knock you off your toy bike with a broom handle until you get it through your head that you can't intimidate us like you can the kids and their families.

Peter: (Whispers to him) Michael, PLEASE don't get mad! I don't want you to end up in the pound!

Vince: Go ahead and make me, stick!

Mike: I would, if you were worth the effort. You're just some kid, playing his little games in his little world where he thinks he's king. What's gonna happen when you grow up, little boy? You won't be king anymore. You'll just be an adult who thinks he can get away with the same stupid shit at thirty that he did at eighteen.

Vince: How would you know?

Mike: 'Cause I AM a grown-up, and if there's one thing I've learned over the last few years, it's that childhood don't last forever.

(Susie and Benny jump out of the car and hurry over to the others.)

Susie: (To Lauren) This doesn't look good.

Lauren: No, it isn't good.

Vince: Why you... (He takes a swing at Mike, but it's a bad one and he lands in the dirt and mud next to Mike, who easily ducks away)

("DW Washburn" begins as Vince and Mike get into a mud-slinging fistfight!)

(The other Wild Riders start to throw mud around, too, not to attack but because they're having fun!)

(Emma quickly gets into Ursula, who goes into autopilot and drives discreetly out of the way.)

*Micky and Lauren shrug at each other and join in on heaving mud.*

(Peter squawks and ducks away, too...until Valerie smears mud across his face. He shrugs and smears mud across hers!)

*Daphne dumps some mud down Davy's back, getting him back for his bit of a wandering eye from earlier.*

(Everyone is throwing mud at everyone else, and not really looking where they're aiming. Mike throws mud at someone's rear. He thinks it's Vince...but then Micky turns around.)

*Micky raises a fist full of mud and raises an eyebrow at Mike.*

(Micky grabs Mike's shirt and dumps mud down his chest! Mike chases Micky through one of the concrete pipes, only to get mud thrown at him again, this time by Vince. Mike runs after Vince now. They chase each other to the top of the highest dirt hill, where they fistfight.)

(Peter pulls Valerie behind some wood pilings, where they fling mud at everyone and anyone.)

(One of the Riders chases Micky over the concrete tubes. Micky nimbly dodges him...but doesn't see the Rider at the other end.)

*They clothesline Micky, knocking him down. The three end up in a dogpile.*

(The Riders smirk, finally moving off of the dirt-covered, very bruised Micky, who lays on the ground, winded.)

*The other two Riders have Davy cornered, but he ducks under them and runs right into one of the members returning from Micky. He and one of the other two turn Davy into a pinball. He eventually goes TILT and slumps against a large cement block, wheezing.*

(Cut back to the top of the mountain of dirt, where Mike and Vince duke it out. Vince finally gets a good uppercut to Mike's chin and knocks him down the other side of the mountain, sending dirt and mud skittering with him. Emma runs over to him as the song ends.)

Emma: Mike! Baby, are you ok? Anything broken?

Mike: Just my pride.

Vince: (He's laughing as he joins them) What a bunch of morons! All that talk about who's in charge! Well, Skinny, who's in charge NOW?

Mike: (As Emma helps him sit up) It sure ain't you.

Vince: Look, we beat the shit out of three of you, so why don't you leave town, before we get rough?

Mike: Nothin' doin'.

Emma: Mike...

Mike: (Looks up at Vince) How about a drag race?

Emma: What?

Susie: (She looks up from pelting a Wild Racer girl with mud) What?

Benny: Oh no...

Mike: A drag race. Here. (Looks at his watch) It'll be sunrise in about an hour or so. Let's meet back here at sunrise. It'll give us enough time to clean ourselves off and get our car ready.

Emma: Honey...

Mike: (Whispers to Emma) And get to the police and let the Cruiser know what's goin' on.

Emma: (Nods) Right.

Vince: Yeah, a drag race sounds good. (Narrows his eyes) We'll race for cars. You win, you get our bikes. We win... (smirks)...we get your jalopy.

Mike: That sounds fair.

Peter: MICHAEL!

Emma: (Turns to the others, who join them) Guys, I don't like this.

Mike: We'll meet you back here at sunrise.

Vince: Deal. (He shakes Mike's dirty hand...then drops him back on the ground, laughing) Oh, yeah. We're gonna take the rest of that deal, too. (He pulls his girl back on his bike. One rider grabs Valerie, ignoring Peter's sob; another Rider takes Daphne as the other woman joins them) Hi, cutie.

Daphne: Let me go, you creep!

Valerie: Peter!

Vince: We'll see you suckers at sunrise! (They drive off, laughing and spewing a cloud of fumes and mud in their wake)

Susie: Are you CRAZY?

Mike: No, are you? (Gets on one elbow; Emma leans over him with a smile)

Emma: You certainly have a way with people, dear. (She and Susie help the battered Mike to his feet)

Benny: You guys could probably wash off at the swimmin' hole near Lover's Lane. It'll be a little cold at this time of night, but the water's clear.

Mike: Thanks. (Stands) Benny, take Susie and Peter and go to the others at the police. Tell them that a dangerous and illegal drag race is going to be going on at the highway along Old Man Tanner's Field at sunrise.

Benny: (Nods) The others are already there.

Susie: (Shakes her head) I'll take a ride into town, but I have other things I need to do.

Benny: I'll go with you after I drop Peter off at the police station.

Peter: Why me?

Mike: Pete, you saw everythin'. They have your wife, and Davy's too. Tell the cops everythin' that you heard and saw tonight. They may not believe the kids, but they WILL believe an adult.

Peter: (Nods) Right, Michael. (Sighs) Are you sure you're ok?

Mike: Yeah, just a little bruised.

Emma: Well, what are we going to do now?

Lauren: Get these guys cleaned up. :P

Mike: Mick, do you know where that swimmin' hole is?

Micky: *nods* Yeah, there's a little side road leading to it, right after the Lane.

Mike: Good. We're goin' straight there to plan strategy and get this mud off. (Smirks) We're gonna give the Cruiser a little help.