Emma: Ok, so, is everyone ready for the dinners...and to find out what Mr. and Margaret Potts are up to? ;)
Mike: (Mutters) Would be nice...
Lauren: Yeah!
Valerie: Let's go!
Peter: I'm ready! :)
Micky: Of course! ;-)
Davy: I gotta go talk to Melody and see if she's up for good food. ;)
(It's later that evening. Emma and Mike sit at a secluded table in the back of Micky's Inn, eating roast beef and broccoli. Micky, Lauren, Peter, and Valerie sit at the next table over, straining to hear their conversation. Davy is chatting up Melody at the bar as she finishes her shift.)
Emma: Mike?
Mike: (Between bites of roast beef) Yeah, Em?
Emma: (Nervous) Mike, there's something I've got to ask you...
Mike: What, Em?
Emma: (Sighs) Well, I've heard these rumors...
Mike: People hear a lot of rumors, Em. It depends on whether or not they're true.
Emma: It's about...you.
Mike: (Swallows and spears another piece of beef before Emma can read his face) People even hear rumors about me, Em. It happens.
Emma: (She doesn't know how to continue) Mike, do you...(blurts out)...know anything about King Michael? You know, the one who disappeared?
Mike: (Looks away from Emma and at his food) No more than the average peasant, Em.
Emma: I heard...that you...
Mike: (Eats a piece of broccoli) Yeah, Em? You heard what?
Emma: That you...might...know something about his whereabouts.
Mike: (His face is unreadable) Why would a simple country cobbler know anything about a king?
Emma: Because you're more than that. The way you carry yourself. The way you give orders and come to everyone's rescue. You're intelligent and witty and brave.
Mike: There are a lot of peasants like that, too, Em.
Emma: It's not just that, Mike. There's just something about you that's...noble. You practically radiate strength.
Mike: (Smiles tightly) You sound like Peter and his metaphysical mumbo-jumbo.
Emma: (As Peter makes a face) Maybe there's more to that than you think. I'm a fairly good judge of character, Mike, and I can tell you're not from the same stock as most of the people around here.
Mike: Why you askin' me all these questions, anyway?
Emma: (Sighs) I don't know. There's just something...different...about you. I worry about you, Mike. I don't want you to get hurt.
Mike: Bein' hurt is part of life, Em.
Emma: And that woman who came into the shop today, you seemed like you were almost scared of her...
Mike: (Grumbles; face is unreadable again) She just startled me, that's all.
Emma: To the point where you choked on your brownie?
Mike: Em, why are you so concerned?
Emma: I heard her father wanted you to marry her.
Mike: (His smile is more genuine) There's nothin' you gotta worry about there, darlin'. I don't even know her. (Softer) Em, I really...(takes her hands as one of the little waitresses removes their plates)...I really...like you alot. I haven't felt this way about anyone since Phyllis left.
Emma: I...(blushes)...like you too. A lot. (Smiles. The two look into each other's eyes, holding hands.)
(Switch back to the other four, who now have their food but continue to monitor the volitile pair nearby.)
Peter: (As he digs into his broccoli and beans - he has no roast beef, as he's a vegetarian) Aww, aren't they adorable? :x
Micky: *grins* So when do they kiss already? ;-)
Valerie: (Sighs as she eats her roast beef) Mike still won't confess to being king, though.
Lauren: *shakes her head* And he probably won't either. Not without a lot of haggle. ;-)
Peter: (Shakes his head) That's how Mike is. It'd take a greased crowbar to pry a confession of something like that out of him!
Micky: Anybody got a greased crowbar?
(Chuckle from the group.)
(Mike finally leans over and gives Emma a deep kiss.)
Lauren: All right! Now we're talkin'! ;-)
Emma: (Sighs) Ohhhh, Mike... :x :">:D
*Micky whistles.*
Mike: Emma, I want...I mean, I wanna ask you...
(The group is almost literally on the edge of their seats.)
Emma: Yes, honey?
Mike: I mean...well, maybe it's time we...(looks up at the doorway and turns pale)...oh, shit, it's her!
(The tall, exotic Margaret Potts couldn't be more different than her short, pudgy father. Both wear nicer clothing than that afternoon. Margaret is dressed in a black velvet gown trimmed with yards of lace and ruffles, and Mr. Potts wears a good evening suit.)
Mike: (Takes her hand) Maybe we better take this to your place.
Emma: But we haven't had dessert yet!
Mike: We'll take it to go. (Orders the waitress to put their slices of rich chocolate mousse cake in two containers. The waitress returns with their desserts, and the two leave just as Margaret and her father sit down at another table close to the pair.)
Valerie: (Eyes widen) Don't look now, but the Potts are back! :p
Peter: (Frowns) Oh, man! :(
Micky: *frowns* They have wonderful timing.
Lauren: Don't they? *rolls her eyes*
(Mr. Potts won't let the two escape, however. He and Margaret stop the pair as they try to pass around their table.)
Mr. Potts: (Chortles) Why, Cobbler, fancy seeing you here! Isn't this a bit too simple for the tastes of someone as exhaulted as yourself?
Mike: The food is good, the atmosphere is casual, and I know the owners. I'd give it three stars.
Micky: *to Lauren* Only three stars? *Lauren shrugs*
Emma: (Frowns) Mike, who is he?
Mr. Potts: (Eyes widen; he smiles slimily and shakes Emma's hand) My name is Cordelius Potts, Miss...
Emma: (Pulls her hand away as soon as politeness allows) Emma, Peasant of Redmartown, sir.
Mike: Look, Potts, I told you, my answer is no.
Margaret: (Reaches up and touches his cheek; Emma emits a low growl) I could make it worth your while, Michael. Surely, you couldn't fancy this plain, fat little peasant wench over someone...
Mike: (Takes Emma's hand protectively and pushes Margaret's away with the other hand) Look, I love this girl. I don't even know you!
Emma: Why don't you leave him alone?
Mr. Potts: (Chuckles) I knew he'd be stubborn. (Sighs) Well, that's that. (Takes Margaret's hand) He's bent on marrying his little peasant bookshop owner. What will his cousin say?
Emma: (Looks at Mike) His cousin?
Mike: (Narrows his eyes) My cousin needs to learn to stop trying to arrange my life. I don't give a rat's ass what she has to say.
Mr. Potts: And, of couse, you've heard the big news of the day. Princess Gwen has put out a ransom on her wayward cousin. The first woman who learns his whereabouts and returns him to Castle Lone Star beyond the Impenetrable Forest, the Glass Mountain, and the Knife Fields will gain his hand in marriage.
Emma: (Looks up at Mike, who's face is stony, and makes a face) That's not fair to King Michael. Doesn't he have anything to say about who he marries?
*The four still sitting at the table exchange looks.*
Margaret: Fair or not, the decree has been made. Every eligble woman in the kingdom will be seeking His Royal Majesty by tomorrow morning, if not by tonight.
Mike: (Near growl) Come on, Em, let's go home. The cake is gettin' cold. (Pushes through the pair and slams out the door, pulling a surprised and worried Emma along with him.)
Peter: (Narrows his eyes) She doesn't care about Michael! She only wants to be queen!
Micky: *nods* There's gotta be something we can do about those two trouble makers.
Valerie: (Makes a face) And Potts is very likely only interested in my father's money and inheriting the grocery store. It's very profitable.
Davy: (Heads over to the table and joins them, sipping a tankard of milk) Hullo, luvs. (Nods at the "troublemaking pair," who are coming back their way) Don't look now, but here comes unwanted visitors.
Lauren: So we've seen.
Mr. Potts: (He and Margaret stand in front of the table) Why, hello Innkeeper, Mrs. Innkeeper, Lady Cartwright. Fancy seeing all of you here!
Margaret: And how are we tonight?
Valerie: (Frowns; Peter takes her arm protecively and gives Potts the nastiest look his innocent face can muster) We're just fine, thank you.
Davy: We were having a grand old time, 'til you two showed up.
Peter: We don't like you!
Micky: Face it, you're not wanted here. *smiles*
Mr. Potts: (Puts his hand over his heart hammily; his daughter rolls her eyes) Why, you've cut me to the quick, young peasants! We're just in town on business and thought we'd take in this fine establishment.
Lauren: Yeah, right. With all the fracas you're creating...
Mr. Potts: (Tries to look innocent) Fracas? Who's creating a fracas? The cobbler just reacted rather badly to our little business proposition, that's all. Not our fault he has a temper hotter than a sunspot in July! We're just....
Valerie: (Before the little man can ramble on for the entire story) You're just here to force two perfectly happy people into unwanted unions.
Micky: *glares* You two need to learn to take "no" as an answer.
Margaret: (Looks at her father) Perhaps this inn does not need our business, Father. I will go into the large hostelry in the main town.
Mr. Potts: (Shakes his head) Oh, you can, Margaret my little love, but I'm staying right here and having dinner. That place does terrible things to my nerves! It's so noisy, always filled with violent jousters just coming out of a game, not a good place to relax at all...
Margaret: (Sighs and cuts her father off; she's used to his rambling) We will meet later. I am going into town for more action.
Mr. Potts: Yes, that's good, darling, you go have fun. I know you do so love the town. You buy ribbons and lace and lots of pretty things and enjoy yourself. (Strokes her hand and she leaves)
Lauren: *mutters* Good grief.
Valerie: Goodness, the little man does tend to go on and on, doesn't he?
Lauren: He rambles more than Mick does. *Micky sticks his tongue out at her*
(Mr. Potts sits at a table on the other side of the room and orders the roast beef and broccoli from one of the little waitresses. She sighs and disappears through a set of swinging doors into the kitchen.)
Peter: (As the waitress comes around with their desserts) I'm worried about Michael. That lady might try to bother him and Em again.
Valerie: Potts knows that Mike is really the (looks around) ...well, that he isn't what he seems. He thought he could hold that over him, but it doesn't seem to bother Mike.
Davy: We've got to find out what those two 'ave in mind.
Micky: And put a stop to it as soon as possible!
Peter: For Michael and Valerie. (Valerie squeezes his hand)
Valerie: I'm not worried for myself, Peter darling. My father knows I love you and you alone. He wouldn't try to force me into something I don't want.
Peter: (Quietly) But Mr. Potts might.
Lauren: There's enough forcing going on already.
Davy: Well, does anyone 'ave any ideas?
Peter: (As the waitress clears their plates) Maybe we ought to follow Michael and Em, just to make sure they're ok.
Valerie: But we don't know where they went!
Davy: Probably either to Em's shop or Mike's.
Micky: We can check both together or split up.
Valerie: Maybe we'd better split up. We could go in three groups. Davy and Melody could stay here and keep an eye on Potts, Peter and I could check Mike's shop, and Micky and Lauren could take a look at Em's place.
Lauren: Sounds good to me.
Davy: Awww, I gotta miss the action? (Watches as three cute, buxom waitresses walks past their table) Well, maybe I'm not missin' ALL the action. ;)
Micky: You never miss the action, Dave. ;-)
Peter: Davy, you promised!
Valerie: (Sighs) He's at it again. Even I know his reputation!
Davy: (Puts up his hand) I'll look. I won't touch. We've got more important things going on at the moment.
Valerie: (Stands) Then it's settled. Come on. Who knows what that Margaret could be plotting even as we speak?
(The four head out as Davy takes a table closer to Potts, joined by Melody. Valerie points at a light in Mike's shop window. Mike and Emma stand in the doorway, holding hands.)
Mike: (as the four creep up closer in the gathering darkness)...and that's why I couldn't tell you, Em.
Emma: Mike, you have to go back.
Mike: Not without you.
Emma: (Hugs him) Mike, I love you, but you have responsibilities to your country. You can't just leave whenever you want.
Mike: It got to be too much, Em. Day in, day out, snobby girls chasin' my money, Gwen on my case after she married Phillip.
Emma: You can't always put everything off. This isn't a bill that has to be paid or cleaning the Pad. It's a country, filled with people and animals that need your strong leadership.
Mike: (Sighs sadly) Maybe my leadership ain't always strong, Em. I keep thinking about the time I went out for mayor. People can talk me into things.
Emma: (Shakes her head with a slight smile) Nobody's perfect, honey. :)
Mike: (Smiles gently) How about we decide what to do in the morning? I'll turn myself in then. That'll stop all this marriage nonsense cold, or at least keep women from chasing my likeness all over Grenwicha. :)
Emma: (Shakes her finger playfully in his face) As long as you promise to take me to Castle Lone Star with you tomorrow! The only time I've ever seen a real castle was during our visit to the Land of Sunshine and Beauty! ;)
Mike: I'll give you the grand tour, darlin'. I'll get one of those special carriages with the steel spiked wheels that are guaranteed never to get stuck anywhere, including in the mud! ;)
Emma: (Sighs and hugs him) I love you so much, Mike.
Mike: (Kisses her) I love you too, darlin'. (Grins and turns her to her shop) Now you go get a good night's sleep! I have the feelin' we're gonna have a very interestin' day tomorrow!
Emma: (Giggles) Well, it should be exciting, if nothing else! (Trots over to her shop. Mike goes inside.)
(Lights go on in both shops. We see Emma and Mike, each sitting dreamily in their windows. Emma holds a book and Mike holds his hammer, but both are too busy dreaming and thinking to use either.)
Valerie: Do you think we should keep looking out for them? I don't trust Margaret to not come back.
Lauren: Maybe we should...
Peter: At least she can't blackmail Mike anymore. He told Em.
Micky: *sniffs* That was so sweet!
*Lauren smacks Micky's arm. He grins.*
Peter: (Grabs Valerie's hands) Come on, Valerie! Let's go to Em's shop! She might not have put the food away yet, and I want to see if she has that book on ancient Indian meditation techniques I've been looking for!
Micky: *to Lauren* That leaves us with Mike.
Lauren: Thank you, Captain Obvious. ;-)
Valerie: (Grins) Another stomach! (Takes his hand) I wanted to see what her poetry collection is like, anyway. (Walks hand in hand over to Em's shop. Peter knocks on the door. Emma, still smiling, stands and lets them in.)
(As Lauren and Micky make their way over to Mike's shop, they notice a wizened, hunched-over little figure making it's way to the store.)
Micky: *scratches his head* Now what?
(The woman has a basket covered with a dark cloth on her arm. She knocks on the door and Mike lets her in, making a bit of a face. She waddles over to a large rack of various shoes in the back of the shop and selects a pair of simple black boots. Mike goes over to the cash register and puts his hand out. She shakes her head and takes something shiny and red out of her basket.)
*Micky and Lauren peek in through a window, watching.*
(Mike shakes his head, but she pushes the object into his hand. It's a beautiful red apple. She talks while he puts the boots in a bag. She keeps indicating the apple.)
Lauren: *mutters* Now I've seen everything.
(Neither Mike nor the Dolenzes notice four large, burly figures sneak across the darkened square.)
(The woman presses the apple into Mike's hand again. He shrugs and takes a bite.
(He seems all right for a moment or so, but then his large brown eyes glaze over. He smiles and tries to look like everything's all right, but his face is pale. He has to grab hold of his work bench to keep from ending up on the floor. The woman puts out her hand to steady him, but he waves it away.)
Micky: Uh oh. Now there's trouble!
Lauren: Why'd he have to do that?
(His eyes roll, his knees buckle, and he ends up on the floor unconcious as one of the four dark, brawny figures ambles into the shop.)
Micky: Oh, crap.
Lauren: You can say that again.
Micky: Oh, crap!
(The old woman smiles and indicates the unconcious cobbler. He throws the slender young man over his shoulder and heads out.)
(She laughs and raises her hands. In a puff of smoke, she turns into Margaret.)
Lauren: *eyes widen* "Oh, crap" is right!
(Suddenly, there's noise from Emma's shop. Lauren and Micky run out to the square, joined by Mr. Potts, who is discreetly followed by Davy and Melody.)
(Three of the knights from earlier that day come out with Peter, Valerie, and Emma. Emma and Peter gasp when the fourth knight joins them with Mike over his shoulder.)
Emma: What did you to do him?
Margaret: (She joins them) He's merely in a deep sleep, bookshop owner.
Mr. Potts: Why, my daughter wouldn't harm her husband to be! This was her idea, after all, I was just interested in Lady Cartwright, but she said no, I must be queen...
Margaret: (Glares at him) Father, you run your tongue for far too long!
Emma: Wake him up!
Margaret: Oh, I'll wake him up, plump peasant wench, but only after I've taken him to his cousin at Castle Lone Star and fetched my prize...the hand in marriage of King Michael himself.
Peter: But he doesn't want to marry you!
Mr. Potts: No, Margaret that's true.
Margaret: (As a large black carriage pulled by four huge crows arrives into view, then lands next to the fountain in the square) Oh, I have my ways of changing his mind, Father. As do you.
Mr. Potts: (Takes Valerie's hand) I'm going to take you to my remote home in the Impenetrable Forrest, Lady Cartwright. You will be a wonderful wife!
Valerie: (Pulls away as Peter lunges for Potts; the knight holds firmly onto the boy's arm, keeping him from reaching for the Magic Locket) I've already said I won't marry you!
Mr Potts: You'll be singing a different tune when I take you away, pretty Lady! (Waves his hand - Valerie is now very small and imprisoned in a bird's cage)
Peter: Valerie!
Valerie: (Shouting) No! Let me out! Peter!
Margaret: (Points at Emma) We'll bring her along, too. We can't have her breaking the spell over my husband-to-be! (The knight grabs Emma's arm.)
Peter: Let them go! Put Michael down!
(The bobbies arrive in the square just as Margaret, the knights, and Mr. Potts climb into the carriage. Potts has Valerie's cage in his lap. One knight clutches Emma in the front, next to Margaret. The other has his arms around a still-sleeping Mike.)
Officer Bobby: (His men block off the exit to the square, joined by Davy, Melody, Micky, and Lauren.) You're not going anywhere with those wee ones, Potts! You're through! This is kidnapping!
Peter: (Closes his eyes and easily slides out from his captor's arms, then runs to join the group) Make Valerie big again!
Valerie: Peter!
Margaret: (Shakes her head as the carriage starts moving around the fountain, picking up speed) You think your little barricade will stop a vehicle pulled by winged creatures?
Peter: (Shrugs) It's worth a try.
Micky: Sure can't hurt!
(Margaret flicks the reins, building more speed. The crowd in front of the circle's entrance scatter as the carriage nears at breakneck pace...but, instead of going out, it goes up...and is soon out of sight as the bobbies shoot at them with slingshots and dried peas.
Peter: No! Michael! Valerie!
Lauren: *sarcastic* Well, this is just great.
Officer Bobby: (Shakes his head) Lord Cartwright is going to be terrible put-out, not to mention those two violated half the laws in Avon-On-Calling.
Peter: She's probably taking Michael to Castle Lone Star to turn him over to Princess Gwen.
Officer Bobby: She found the king?
Melody: That poor tall git is the king!
Davy: What did they do to him?
Micky: Knocked him out with an apple, of all things.
Davy: (Makes a face) The ol' poisoned apple trick.
Lauren: He should've known better. *shakes her head*
Micky: Even I wouldn't fall for that apple trick!
Lauren: Sure... ;-)
Davy: Yeah, some lady with a foreign accent 'ands me an apple, I'd run in the other direction.
Melody: (Makes a face) Unless she 'ad a bust like mine. :p
Davy: Now, luv, that's not true...
Melody: Then what ya been gapin' at all aftahnoon, boy, me smashin' intellect?
Davy: Well, you are smart, Melody, but...
Melody: But I got melons the size of the Black 'ole of Calcutta.
Micky: *smirks* She's got you there, Davy.
Officer Bobby: The cobbler...is the king?
Davy: In disguise.
Peter: (Smiles) Romantic, isn't it? Mike became a cobber so Em would like him. :x
Officer Bobby: (As his men dispurse for a square brick building that says "Bobbies and Georges" just outside the circle) I'd think any lady would want to marry some with King Michael's looks and status.
Peter: (Shakes his head) Not Em. She doesn't care about royalty or fancy things. People who can work and think impress her, not money or titles. And Valerie...(looks down sadly)...she doesn't really care about those things, either.
Officer Bobby: (Smiles) Ah, the good Lady Valerie. Smashin' girl, what? No wonder Potts fell for her like a ton of hay in a horse's mouth.
Peter: (Near tears) I love her more than anything, even when she's the size of a bird!
Officer Bobby: (Pats Peter's shoulder) There, there, good musician! We'll get her back, and your other lady friend, too.
Micky: *moves next to Peter* Yeah, come on, big Peter. We'll save them. :-)
Peter: But what about Michael? He doesn't want to marry Margaret!
Officer Bobby: (Shakes his head) I'm afraid Princess Gwen did give out that beastly decree. Your king is fair game.
Davy: We've got to stop Margaret before she takes Mike to Castle Lone Star and forces him into a weddin'.
Officer Bobby: (Eyes widen) That's insanity, Tailor David! The Castle Lone Star is a great many leagues from here, beyond the Impenetrable Forest, the Glass Mountain, and the Knife Field! It would take days to reach the Castle from here! (Pats Peter on the shoulder as the crowd dispurses) Don't worry, lad, we'll do what we can. Just leave it to us. (Heads off for the police station.)
Micky: *frowns* Leave it to them?
Peter: (The group sits forlornly on the fountain as the last rays of night shows against the water) Guys, I want to get Valerie and Em back, but I don't want to leave Michael, either.
Davy: (Makes a face) Every time we leave it to the cops or the spies, they leave us in the cold. :p
Micky: And we're already in the cold. :-P
Peter: Oh, I don't know, it feels pretty warm tonight...
*Micky flicks some water at Peter, smirking.*
(Peter puts up his arms to shield himself, laughing.)
Lauren: *shakes her head* There's gotta be something we can do.
Davy: (Points at Peter's neck) 'ey, Pete, don't you still 'ave that magic locket thing?
Micky: Hey, yeah!
Peter: That's right! Maybe she can help us again! (Bites into the tin medallion around his neck. There's a puff of pink smoke, and a woman in a thick pink terrycloth robe, her red hair in curlers and her wings flopping gracelessly on her back, appears. She's a bit annoyed.)
Fairy: (Shakes her head) Why do you always call at the worst times? I was just about to take a bath!
Melody: (Gasps) That's a...a...
Fairy: Fairy. That's what they usually call me.
Peter: You've got to help me again, Miss Fairy! Margaret and Cornelius Potts stole our friends Mike, Emma, and Valerie!
Fairy: (Thinks) The tall guy with the Texas accent, the short bookshop chick, and your girlfriend, right?
Davy: You got it, Miss.
Fairy: (Looks at herself and turns a tad red) Well, let me get into some decent clothes first. I'm startin' to get a draft. (Lifts the wand over her own head - there's another puff of pink smoke, and she looks like she did in "Fairy Tale.")
Melody: (Grins) I gotta get me on 'o those wands. It would make gettin' dressed in the mornin' so much easiah!
Lauren: *nods* That's for sure!
Fairy: (Grins) Takes me five minutes or less in the morning, and that's with my cup of coffee and cheese danish. (Gets serious) Look, we've gotta get goin'. Gwen's declaration states that the girl who brings your buddy Mike back will get to marry him as her reward within twenty-four hours.
Peter: We need a way to get over the Glass Mountain, through the Impenetrable Forest, and around the Knife Fields.
Davy: What?
Peter: The Impenetrable Forest!
Micky: I know this bit. ;-)
Fairy: I'd love to know how he does that. (Peter grins) I think I have a solution that's gonna make all you kids grin as wide as your musician friend here. (Waves her wand - the MonkeeMobile appears, in car form.) I've modified it a bit for ya. (Shakes her head as Micky grumbles) Don't give me that look, Skinny. You'll like these modifications. (Goes to the driver's seat of the MonkeeMobile and pushes a button. Two large red-and-white wings pop out of the sides of the car.)
Peter: Oh, boy, a flight! We haven't gone on a real flight since we rode the Pegasus!
Micky: *eyes widen* Holy sh... *Lauren slaps a hand over his mouth*
Fairy: That's how you'll get over the Knife Field. (Pushes another button. The wings retract, but the wheels now have suction-cup tread.) That should get you over the Glass Mountain. Just watch yourself on the summit. It cracks easily.
Davy: Bet Mick wishes 'e could keep all of this aftah the story's ovah! ;)
*Micky nods, his mouth hanging open.*
Melody: (Her eyes are huge) Oh, my, what a carriage! (Looks around) Where's the horses? What makes it go?
Fairy: (Grins and touches the tank - multi-colored sparkles emerge from it) As long as it's in Grenwicha, it runs on my own special fuel. I call it "Magic Monkee Dust." ;)
*Lauren snickers.*
Fairy: (Waves her hand over the five kids - they are all now dressed as knights, as Peter was in the original "Fairy Tale," only Peter has a bow-and-arrow instead of a sword, and Davy's sword is more slender. Melody wears hers over her peasant skirts.) Now you'll be armed to take on Potts in the forest! He's taken your Lady Valerie there!
Micky: *looks himself over* Groovy!
Melody: (Gazes at herself) Coo-ee! Get a load of us!
Lauren: *smirks* Like the shoes. ;-)
Fairy: (As the five climb into the MonkeeMobile.) Farewell, my good friends, and God speed...not to mention good speed! (Indicates the locket) And remember to keep an eye on that locket, Peter of Tork! You know I'll get killed if it gets messed up!
Peter: (City-lighting grin) I'll guard it with my life.
Fairy: (Nods) Right. (She vanishes in a puff of pink smoke as the MonkeeMobile takes off.)
Micky: I wonder what kind of mileage it gets like this. *grins*
Davy: I wouldn't try it, Mick. You might blow 'er out.
Peter: Why don't we fly to the forest? :D
Micky: Why not? Let's go for it! :-)
Davy: (As Micky gets into the driver's seat) There's the button, Mick. Why don't you give it a try? ;)
Melody: Oh, this is all so excitin'!
Davy: Isn't it, luv? (Takes her hand; she giggles)
Lauren: *groans* Micky and buttons do not a good combination make.
Micky: *glares at Lauren briefly, then pushes the button* Funny.
(Davy and Peter chuckle.)
(The wings pop out, and the MonkeeMobile takes off with a roar into the blue sky. The group giggle at the reaction of various animated birds as Micky "drives" the MonkeeMobile through fluffy clouds and over painted mountaintops, to the tune of "I Can't Get Her Off My Mind.")
Peter: (Points downwards over a painted, animated panoramic landscape. A little house is visable through the thick grove of trees.) Look, there's a house! Maybe Mr. Potts lives there!
Davy: It's worth a try. (Grins at Melody, who's watching the view) I'm gettin' a bit dizzy up 'ere! ;)
Micky: You got it!
(Micky directs the MonkeeMobile into the trees and stops it near a little house with a big picture window filled with herbs, iron cauldrons, bottles of strange potions, and thick, old books. They can see Mr. Potts hang the cage with Valerie in it on a hook in a back wall.)
Peter: Oh, Valerie!
Davy: I don't see anyone else, though. Margaret must have gone ahead with Mike and Emma. :|
Lauren: Then we should try to make this quick!
Davy: Ok, folks, out and ovah! (Everyone climbs out of the MonkeeMobile and sneak around the back of the house. They peer in a window.)
Valerie: (Bangs on the side of the cage) Turn me back into my normal size, Potts!
Potts: I might consider changing you back to your original height, my pretty one, if you consent to marry me.
(Peter glares angrily.)
Valerie: (Turns on her heel in a circle, her back now facing Potts) Never!
Potts: Then you will stay that way until you do agree to become my bride! (He tries the swinging-the-cape-over-his shoulder thing again and hits a clock on a table; the clock falls over with a crash.) Darn clocks, you never know where you might find them! Stubborn girl...
(Potts walks out mumbling to himself. The others enter when he's gone.)
Peter: (Runs to Valerie's cage. She has flopped on the cage floor, forlorn) Valerie, my love, I'm here to save you!
Valerie: Peter! Thank goodness you've come! (Points at a large, thick, ancient book on a stand in the back of the shop. The shop is filled with sweet-smelling dried herbs, heavy wooden furniture, and potions of every size, shape, smell, and texture on shelves, tables, and stands.) That's where the Potts keep all of their spells. You might find a way to turn me back there!
(Micky, Lauren, and Melody run to the book as Davy and Peter try to unlock the heavy padlock on the cage.)
Melody: There's got to be somethin' in there that will turn Lady Valerie back to 'er right size! (The three flip through the book)
(Peter is unlocking the padlock on the cage with the shaft of one of his arrows. Davy runs to the door, keeping a watch out for Potts.)
Lauren: *over her shoulder* How's the padlock coming?
Peter: (As Valerie watches hopefully; Peter's tongue is out in total concentration) Almost got it! (There's a click) Aha! (Removes the padlock and gently takes Valerie on his mail-gloved palm. He nuzzles her with his nose.)
Micky: *as they continue through the book* Aw! ;-)
Valerie: (She's almost knocked off his palm) Oh, Peter, that tickles! (Laughs)
Peter: (Brings the tiny heiress over to the book and joins the others) There's got to be some spell in here to turn her back.
Valerie: (Nods) I can't go through life this small!
Melody: 'Ere's a section on size spells. Maybe somethin' 'ere will change 'er back.
Lauren: We'll find something...I hope!
Peter: Here's something. (Reads) "To restore one who is small to one who is tall, all you need is the hair of a horse's tail, bread mold, ground poison ivy leaves, and a dill pickle. Shake well before using."
Davy: (Nods) Bettah get a move on, Petah! That Potts could be back any minute! :o
(Peter sets Valerie down on the table with the potions, and the others get to gathering the items.)
Melody: (Holds out a bottle of greenish stuff) 'Ere's the ground poison ivy leaves. (Holds it away from her) Guess I'd bettah be careful with these! I don't fancy scratchin' meself for the rest of the day!
Davy: (Looks up at Melody's bosum) I'll do the scratchin' for ya, Melody. ;)
Peter: (Leans into a big box with a block of melting ice under it; emerges with something long and green) Here's the pickle. (Dumps it into a cauldron) Why don't you guys find the other stuff? I'll get something to mix with.
Lauren: Here's the hair of a horse's tail.
(Brief clip from "Don't Look A Gift Horse in the Mouth" of the Monkees dragging Jeremy the horse around.)
Micky: Sure, leave the bread mold for me.
Davy: (Ducks his head out, then back in) Guys, Potts' comin' back, and 'e's got the knights with 'im! 'urry up with that potion!
(Peter is mixing the potion quickly with a big wooden spoon as Micky searches for bread mold.)
Micky: Found it! *runs to the cauldron, drops the mold in, just before sliding on the floor*
Lauren: At least you didn't fall this time! ;-)
Melody: Mistah Dolenz, are you all right?
Valerie: What did you slip on, Micky?
Micky: Fine! *glares at Lauren* I always do that. *looks around* I don't know what that was.
Melody: (Holds up a banana peel) Probably this, Mistah Dolenz.
Peter: (Mixes the potion furiously) I think I've almost got it!
Davy: Good thing, Petah, (ducks in the door) 'cause they're HEAAH!
(Potts and his men arrive in the door. The knights attack the kids and Potts tries to push Peter away from the potion, to the tune of "Take a Giant Step." Potions are knocked here, there, and everywhere. Peter reaches for Valerie, but Potts gets her first and sticks her in his pocket. Peter grabs a feather and tickles him until Valerie falls out and into his waiting hand. He holds her up to his lips, and she gives him a gentle kiss.)
(Smoke in every color imaginable fills the room as the kids duck over, under, and around the knights. Melody just sits on a chair, but it's enough - every time someone comes to ogle her, she hits them over the head with her sword. Potts accidentally knocks over the cauldron as he fights with Peter. Potts pushes Peter out of the way as the contents spill on Potts, Valerie, and the knights.)
(As the song ends, Valerie is her right size again, but now Potts and the knights are barely thumb-sized.)
Valerie: Oh, Peter, thank you! (Takes him in her arms. He dips her and kisses her as deeply as he can.)
(Micky takes the now-diminuative warlock and his men and lock them in the birdcage. Lauren puts the padlock on herself.)
Lauren: *dusts her hands off* Much better. *grins*
Davy: Well, that takes care of Potts and his boys, but we've still got to get Mike and Emma. (Smacks Peter's back - he and Valerie are still kissing) 'Ey, Pete, get a room, ok?
Peter: Hey, you guys get to rescue your girls all the time! It's my turn!
Potts: (Chuckles) Oh, it's too funny.
Davy: (Glares at the now-even-smaller warlock) What is?
Potts: Margaret is even now taking your little friends to Castle Lone Star! Princess Gwen may be a nasty woman, but she won't be able to go back on her word. And even as we speak, my little girl has taken your king under her spell. She will wed the King the moments those 24 hours come to an end!
Davy: What about Em?
Potts: Oh, my Margaret will think of something nasty for your little bookkeeper friend. Perhaps she'll arrange for her to be eaten by a chimera or be burned at the stake. She really does enjoy her little games...
Lauren: What!
Peter: (He and Valerie have broke up - both gasp) She wouldn't! Not to Em!
Potts: She could even arrange that your precious King doesn't remember his time as a peasant. It can be done. I knew a fellow once who had a girlfriend...
Melody: Oh, shut up, Potts! You ramble like an elderly storytellah!
Peter: Oh, Michael!
Valerie: He must mean she's going to somehow wipe his memory...
Peter: ...So he can't remember loving Em at all! :( :((
Davy: Or bein' a peasant.
Lauren: We've gotta put a stop to this!
Potts: That's the spell! I know it quite well, it's really very simple...
Davy: Oh, we've 'eard enough outta you, Potts! (Takes the cover to the bird cage and throws it over)
Micky: Man, even I know when to shut up. *shakes his head and sighs*
Davy: Most of the time. ;)
Peter: (Gulps) She'll marry him, then make herself queen...and maybe even try to get rid of Mike then, so she'll have the throne all to herself! :(
Melody: We've got to get to that castle!
Davy: Let's get outta 'ere, before Potts and 'is buddies start moltin'.
Micky: And that would not be pretty sight. ;-)
(The five kids climb into the MonkeeMobile and drive through the forest.)