Emma: (Pulls from under Carlotta, then confronts Jurisson, her voice angry) My name is Emma Redmer, and I won't let you hurt these boys anymore! Demons or not, they're living creatures and don't deserve to be punished this way! In the name of the Long Title Library, I will fight evil-doers and nasty bullies, and that means you!
Lauren: *grumbling* Micky, get your elbow out of my eye.
Jurrisson: (Pulls his whip away from the cowering demons) Very nice little speech there, young lady.
Emma: (Grins) Thanks, borrowed it from a friend of mine from the moon.
Mike: (Brushes himself off) I always knew she was a space cadet!
Martha: (Shocked at the sight of the four demons) M...my lords? (Near tears) Halsten, is that you?
Emma: (Glares at Mike, then turns to Jurrison) Let them go, you creep!
Micky: *stands and helps Lauren up* Yeah! What she said!
Jurrisson: (Just laughs) Well, well, you all played very well into our hands. It was a trap, and you fell right into it.
Lauren: Oh crap.
Mike: I knew it!
(Jurrisson grabs a cord and rings a bell.)
Micky: I'll bet that isn't the dinner bell.
Jurrisson: In a minute, every monster in this castle (glares at the demon-knights) but these four miscreants will come running and make short work of the lot of you. (Gives Martha an evil grin) How do you like your precious Halsten now, Martha? Not so sweet and handsome, running around with a bunch of unicorns, hiding from the world!
Martha: (Halsten cringes; she grabs her sword) He's still more of a man than you'll ever be!
Peter: Yeah, man! Leave them alone!
(The rock-monsters file in, surrounding the group. Jurrisson releases the demons.)
Jurrisson: (Points at the group) Remember who your master is, you sniveling bags of hairballs! They are the enemy! They are the ones you fight!
Micky: *points at Jurrisson* Remember who keeps calling you guys names!
Emma: (Turns to Robert, ignoring Mike's pained look) Robert, you helped us once. These people are evil, and whatever they did to you, we'll stop it, somehow.
Martha: (Goes up to the light-furred demon, much to Peter's chargrin) Halsten, don't you remember me? Don't you remember the time we spent in the forest together with the unicorns?
Halsten: (Confused, anguished) N...n...no...
Jurrisson: (Laughs) He remembers nothing more than his name and his conditioning!
Peter: (Turns on Jurrisson with his bow and arrow) You're mean! You hurt the knights and took their memories and everything they loved, and that's not right!
Jurrisson: Master Alakazam has great ideas for this country, great promises. A land of gray shadows, mud, constant work, no dreams...
Davy: That doesn't sound like much fun.
Lauren: Oh yeah, that's something to look forward to.
(No one notices Emma quickly take something shiny out of her bag and hand it to Mike.)
Jurrisson: (Puts out his hand) Now, boys, take the jewels away from the little girl, and we'll be on our way.
Lauren: *covers her head* Oh, did he say the wrong words.
Emma: LITTLE GIRL!? Damn it, you asked for it, pal! (Launches herself at Jurrisson, but a rock monster swats her on the back of her head, knocking her cold.)
Robert: NO!!!
Lauren: Hey!?
Mike: NO!!!!!!!! EMMMMAAAA!!!!! (Holds up something shiny and crystaline in his hand - The Aero Diamond) Stand back, folks! I gotta Aero Diamond, and I ain't afraid to use it!
Micky: *fuming* And he means business, pal!
Robert: Just hold it up to the wind!
(Mike holds the diamond up to the breeze drifting through the tower room. The breeze slowly but surely turns into a raging tornado that blows rock monsters and people helter-skelter.)
Lauren: Major spin-cycle!
Jurrisson: (Clutches a pole) Waaaaahhh! (He reaches for Emma's bag, as she's still unconcious, but Mike gets it first.)
Mike: Nice try but those don't belong to you.
Jurrisson: Nor to you, boy! (He and Mike struggle furiously over the Aero Diamond. The others try to remain strong in the wind and battle the remains of the rock monsters.)
Corelle: (As she's blown into a rock monster) Did anyone ever tell you that even rocks can have nasty breath? (Looks over her shoulder at the still-struggling Mike and Jurrisson) I think you can tone the windstorm down now!
(Micky is blown straight into Lauren, and they land on top of each other against the wall.)
Micky: *gazing dazedly* Hiya beautiful!
Lauren: *holds her head* Nice landing. *groans*
Jurrisson: (Throws Mike off of him. Mike hits the wall with a thud. Jurrisson has the diamond) Ah-HAH! (The wind dies down to a dull roar. Jurrisson frees the demons. The others, except for Lauren and Micky, who are busy gazing into each other's eyes, are still battling the rock monsters.He points at the group.) Take the four youths to Master Alakazam's labs. I want to try a few experiments on them.
Peter: (Clutches his throat) You're not going to try to put our musical abilities into a monster, are you?
Jurrisson: The Wariorresses can be thrown in the dungeon, where they belong. (Goes to Micky and Lauren, who clutch each other for dear life, and Emma, who is still out) These two lovely ladies will be our special guests. Take them to the master bedrooms and lock them there. (Jurrisson pulls the bag from Emma's shoulder.)
Micky: Wait a minute there, pal!
Jurrisson: (To the demons) Take your pick of the loot, boys, but be gentle. We don't want to harm our pretty guests, do we?
Mike: (Eyes widen in horror) Don't you touch her! (It takes three rock monsters to hold him back from attacking Jurrisson)
Micky: *stands, growling* Hey, I wanna have a chat with you! *holds out his dagger*
Jurrisson: (Laughs) My goodness, the wild-haired brat is a feisty creature, isn't he?
George: (Gets in front of Lauren and Micky) You hurt them and I'll be sorry!
Micky: *rolls his eyes*
George: (Whispers, to Lauren) I'm sorry, babe.
*Lauren gives a wide-eyed expression*
Martha: If you hurt Halsten or these kids, YOU'LL be sorry!
Micky: Ha!
Jurrisson: That's what you think, young lady! I'll see you and your band of female do-gooders rot in the dungeons for the rest of your lives!
Mina: (Pouts) I don't want to rot in the dungeons! The only men there are monsters and criminals, and they aren't fun on dates!
Lelita: Let's see how you like this, Jerkazoid! (Lunges for Jurrisson. Her fist connects with his jaw, but two rock monsters grab her afterwards.)
Carlotta: Aye caramba, senorita!
Corelle: (Grins) You go, girl!
Lauren: *cheers wildly* Yeah!
Jurrisson: (Rubs his jaw, eyes blazing - whines) Do what I say! Monsters, take the boys and the Wariorresses away! (Whinier) NOW!
(The monsters first grab the boys, Micky having to be literally dragged from Lauren's side and thrown over one monster's shoulder, then the Warrioresses, Lelita screaming the whole way. Only the demons and the two girls remain.)
Jurrisson: (To the demons) Take the girls to Master's tower room and keep them there until I'm ready to deal with them. (George takes Lauren in his arms and Robert takes the still-swooning Emma, followed by Thomas and Halsten. They fly out to another hallway, then up a series of even steeper stairs.)
George: (Trying to make conversation with Lauren) So, Babe, the kid with the afro your boyfriend?
Lauren: You could say that. *gives him an odd look*
George: You two were all over each other. (Angrily, more to himself) Damn Master! You guys were really cute together. I was sorry to break up the party.
Lauren: You were? Any chance of you guys still helping us out of here?
George: Don't worry. Rob says he has a plan for getting you out of here. (Looks over his shoulder to make sure Robert's not listening, then whispers) Rob's NUTS about your plump little gal pal!
Lauren: *grins* I did kinda figure that out. *pauses* Thanks, George. You know, you're not too bad yourself. *smiles*
George: (Grins) You're welcome, babe! (Sighs) You wouldn't have any idea of how to turn us back into whatever we were, would ya? Being this hairy is a real drag!
Lauren: I really wish I had Micky's chemistry set. Other than that, I don't have a clue of how we can turn you back to normal.
George: (As they reach the door) End of the line! (Halsten opens the door to reveal a dark-panneled room decorated all in various shades of black, gray, and purple. Robert puts Emma gingerly on the king-sized, satin-sheeted bed. George sets Lauren delicately on the floor.)
Robert: Sorry, ladies, but we have to lock you in. Master Jurrisson's orders.
Lauren: Well, thanks for the lift!
George: (Grins) Any time! You need anything, just call one of us! (Winks) Especially me!
Lauren: *chuckles* I'm gonna hold you to that!
Thomas: (Elbows him) 'ey, don't hog the goods, mate!
George: (Another wink as the four leave) You do, and I WON'T be sorry! (Closes the door. Lauren rubs her arms, as the room is damp, cold, and dark. Emma moans and once again opens her eyes.)
Lauren: Em, you okay?
Emma: (Rubs the back of her head) Ooooooh, I have a headache THIS big, and I'm going to need a lot more than Excedrin for it! (Looks around dazedly) Where are we? What happened? Where's the others? (Eyes get wide) Where's Mike? Is he ok?
Lauren: *holds up her hands* Whoa, one question at a time! *scratches her head* Let's see...
Emma: They got the guys, didn't they?
Lauren: *nods* Yeah, they did. I'm pretty sure the former-knights will give us a hand, though.
Emma: (Sees that her bag is gone) And the jewels...(puts her head in her hands.) This is all my fault! If I wasn't so damn tempermental, I would never have gone after Jurrisson! Mike was right, I was wrong, and I always was. I'm always wrong. (Breaks down crying)
Lauren: No, no, no... *sighs* I wish I had Mick's chemistry set to turn the knights back to normal and get us the hell outta here.
Emma: (Sobbing noisily) I c...can't do anything. I can't get us out of here. I can't save the others. I can't even save the knights! I'm nothing! I'm useless!
Lauren: *rubbing Emma's back* Don't say that. *sighs* Umm...man, I'm not good at this at all.
Emma: My sword and your daggers are gone. The guys are gone. What are we going to do?
Lauren: This is supposed to be a fantasy. We shouldn't be here.
Emma: Some fantasy! We're in a freakin' nightmare! (Starts thinking) Fantasy...
Lauren: Isn't there some way I could wish Mick's chemistry set here & whip up a potion?
Emma: Maybe we could try something like that. I don't want to wait for the knights to decide to go against their masters.
Lauren: That could take a while.
Emma: (Closes her eyes) Think "chemistry set!"
Lauren: *closes her eyes* As long as I don't turn into one.
Emma: Lauren, do you know anything about chemistry? I never got past basic science in high school, and I avoided it in college!
Lauren: Not really, no, but I was hoping this being a fantasy could cover up for my lack of knowledge.
(The girls open their eyes and see a table covered with glass tubes, bottles, and beakers filled with all kinds of strange potions.)
Lauren: *jumps up* Yaah hoo!
Emma: (Shaky smile) I'll be snookered, it worked again!
Lauren: *runs over to the set* Now, if I were Micky...
Emma: Why don't we just do what Micky always does and keep trying something until it blows up in our faces?
Lauren: *considers it* Sure, why not?
Emma: Just don't make any bright blue potions. I don't feel like being blinded!
Lauren: Me either. *starts mixing chemicals together*
(Emma joins her, pouring a little of this into a little of that.)
Lauren: ...And two drops of the green stuff...
Emma: (Smells her bottle and nearly passes out) Eeeew, smells like the gas from the swamps between Wildwood and Rio Grande on a hot summer's night.
Lauren: Mine isn't looking too great. *smells it* It doesn't smell too bad.
Emma: (Comes up with something greenish and bubbling) Um, I hope it's supposed to do this.
Lauren: Uhhhhh...
Emma: (Eyes get bright) What do you think would happen if we put them together?
Lauren: What's there to lose?
Emma: (Giggles) Other than the possibilty of us blowing this whole place to hell-and-gone?
Lauren: It'd put us out of our misery. ;-)
Emma: Here goes something. (Pours her green liquid into Lauren's greyish powdery stuff. The concoction bubbles and fizzes like a newly-opened bottle of Coke.)
Lauren: Don't dribble over the side, stupid concoction!
Emma: Well, if nothing else, we've invented a new kind of soda.
Lauren: Lovely.
Emma: (Gets out of the concoction's way - it's eating a hole in the floor) Yo, that stuff's hungry!
Lauren: I don't know if this stuff is safe to try out.
Emma: Did that ever stop Micky? Give it to me! (Takes it carefully from Lauren and pours it on the door. A hole the size of a large dog is burned into the door.)
Lauren: Takes care of that, but what about changing the knights back?
Emma: I don't know about that. I think the only way we can reverse that spell is to find out what Alakazam did in the first place.
(Emma peers out of the hole. George and Halsten guard the door.)
Lauren: Well, this is interesting.
George: Hi babe! (The two help the girls out of the hole) We're supposed to be guards, but we're going to help you guys get out of here!
Halsten: I hate hurting people like this, and I want to stop it for good!
Lauren: *smiles* Thanks, George!
Emma: Babe? (Raises her eyebrows at Lauren, who shrugs.)
George: We know where they're keeping your boys. Jurrisson's going to practice some of his magic on them.
Lauren: Let's hurry, then!
Halsten: (Frowns) Jurrisson's not as good at magic as Master! Who knows what he'll do to them?
Lauren: That's why we gotta go now!
George: Oh, and I have presents for you lovely ladies! (Pulls Emma's sword and Lauren's daggers out from under his miles of curly fur) Snagged these from Jurrisson on the way out!
Emma: Thank you! (Takes her sword and swings it) Come to Mama, baby!
Lauren: *gladly accepts her daggers* George, you're wonderful! *pauses* Aw hell... *gives George a peck on the cheek*
George: (Blushes under his heavy curly fur) Aw, I'm speechless!
Halsten: (Grabs his brother's arm) Save the others now, flirt later, little brother! (Nods at the girls) Follow me! (Leads the girls and George down the winding stairs. They stop at a room on the landing. There's a big iron door with a small, barred window.)
George: This is where Jurrisson and Master conduct their experiments when they're here.
Lauren: Isn't this inviting? *makes a disgusted face*
Emma: (Gasps) Shhh! Mike!
Mike: (In the room) You want to WHAT to us?
Peter: (Whimpers) Could you just take our musical ability?
Davy: You must be joking!
Jurrisson: (Laughs) What do I care about musical ability? I want to take something more than that. You will all be nothing more than robots, puppets. You'll have no imagination, no cleverness, no dreams. You'll be nothing more than servants, just like those walking fleabags Master Alakazam created!
Emma: (Eyes widen) Holy shit!
Lauren: *breathes* That son of a bitch!
Micky: Just try that, jerkoff!
*Lauren grins, despite the situation*
George: (Under his breath) Who's he calling a walking fleabag?
(There's the sound of the handle of a whip connecting with human flesh. Micky groans.)
Jurrisson: You'l watch your mouth in the future, Curlylocks.
Lauren: No! *covers her mouth*
Mike: (Roars) You...you...if I were free...
Emma: (Shoves at the door) There has to be some way to get in! I can't let them do that! I can't! I won't! I won't fail again! (Slams at the door as hard as she can, but it won't budge.)
Lauren: *turns to the demons, pleading* Guys?
(Two more tall, dark visages appear behind Lauren and Emma.)
Robert: (Grin) Need some help there, little lady? (To his brothers, who nod at him) Ok, fellas, lets put this strength of ours to someone else's advantage beside Master's. One, two... (they knock out a huge hole in the wall next to the door, instead of the door.)
George: Um, oops?
Lauren: *shrugs* Whatever works! (She indicates the door) Go!
(The room is your standard mad scientist's lab, complete with an even more elaborate chemistry set than Micky's. The four Monkees are chained hand and foot to the wall. Micky's cheek is bleeding.)
Lauren: Mick!
Emma: (Grabs Jurrisson) It's over, you bastard! Let the boys go!
Jurrisson: Not so fast, ladies! (To the demons) Well, what are all of you waiting for? Take the two girls back to the tower room!
Robert: Uh-uh, Jurrisson. (Halsten and Thomas unchain the four boys.) We ain't listenin' to you no more.
*Lauren folds her arms over her chest*
Emma: (Holds the sword to Jurisson's throat) I never killed anyone in my entire life, but if you try anything funny with the boys or the knights, so help me I will!
Mike: (Rubs his wrists as Thomas unlocks him) Better believe her, pal. She's impossible to talk to when she gets that look.
Peter: (Goes to Micky) You ok, Mick? That looks pretty bad!
*Lauren shakes her head and checks on Micky.*
Micky: (Whimpering) Ow man, that hurt!
Lauren: *smirks at him* I'll help you feel better *winks* Later, though.
\Jurisson: I could turn all of you into zombies in an instant!
Thomas: (Growls as he frees Davy) You're outgunned ten to one, Jurisson. Your days of ordering us around are numbered!
Jurrisson: (Whines) The demons are supposed to be under Master's control! You're nothing more than his pets!
Emma: Not anymore. (Aims her sword closer to his throat.) We want the jewels and the keys to the dungeon, Jurrisson, and we want them now. You can't call your rock boys if you don't have a neck.
Jurrisson: You're nothing more than some little girl! I could turn you into a duck or a dog or a...
Lauren: There he goes again.
Robert and Mike: (In unison) OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Emma: (Thrusts the sword as far as she can without actually hurting Jurrisson) DON'T CALL ME THAT! WHERE ARE THE KEYS AND THE JEWELS?
Jurrisson: (Drops to his knees and whines) The keys are on the jailer downstairs in the dungeon. I sent the jewels ahead to the Castle of the Four Elements by messanger. Just don't hurt me!
Mike: How can we change the demons back?
Jurrisson: (Smirks) That, I'm afraid, is something only Master Alakazam knows. He cast the spell. I had nothing to do with that.
Lauren: *groans* Great.
Davy: What a bloomin' baby!
Robert: (Takes Jurisson by his neck) Take us downstairs and get those keys off the walking rockpile club.
Jurrisson: (Sneers at Robert) I'm not afraid of you, Robert. Master will flail you all until your insides are showing when he finds out you've gone against his instructions!
Thomas: Maybe we're not afraid of you either, Jurisson.
Emma: (So angry, she's shaking) You're just like all the boys in school, a bully who torments others for kicks, because it gives him a feeling of power. (Near tears, points at the door with her sword) You WILL take us downstairs, you WILL tell your rockpiles to free the Warrioresses, and you WILL do it NOW!
Lauren: Before she really gets mad!
Jurrisson: Ok, ok. I'll do it. Don't have much of a choice, the way you're waving that sword around.
Mike: (Grins) Yeah, you don't want to see her when she's REALLY angry. It ain't pretty.
Peter: It's not even nice!
(The demons, Jurisson, and the six kids return to the dungeons. They encounter a very large slate-gray rock sentry at the door.)
Jurisson: I want the keys to the Warrioresses cells! We're going to be taking them to Master Alakazam to handle!
Rock Monster: (Big, dumb thug) Um, ok, Master Jurrisson. You da boss. (Goes to a selection of keys, some of which have things like "powder room" and "living room" and "alternative universe" written under them. Takes the keys with the lines "Warrioresses' Cells" under it.)
Jurisson: (Shakes his finger at the rock monster) And don't you forget it!
Lauren: *rolls her eyes* Oh brother.
(Jurrisson leads them to a cell where the girls are playing cards and Nintendo and listening to Monkee music.)
Micky: Oh sure, I get whipped and they're playing video games!
Corelle: Hey look, pardon from the governor! (Sticks her head through the bars) Any of you know how to find the Warp Zone for Level 8-1 on the first Mario Brothers?
Lauren: *raises her hand* I do!
Emma: (Grins) I do too, but this probably isn't the time or the place to show you.
Martha: (Frowns) What do you want, Jurrisson? (Looks up at the demons) Halsten, you're here.
Halsten: (Quietly) Martha...
Lauren: *turns to Micky* John...
Micky: *plays along* Marsha... *holds his cheek* Oww...
(Emma and Mike giggle. Peter, Halsten, and Martha all turn red.)
Jurrisson: (Shaky grin) This is your lucky day, ladies. You're cleared of all charges.
Mina: Oooh, I've never been in a jail break before! This is fun!
Carlotta: Just a minute! I must win this round! (Slaps a card down) Gin! That makes it, oh, five games to one?
Martha: You're just lucky, that's all!