Sooo...everyone ready for Kevin's concert?

Mike: Only 'cause we get to play.

Micky: I'm always ready.

(We open onstage with footage of Mike and Micky singing and performing "The Girl I Knew Somewhere" onstage. McStaren and Nielson watch from backstage, both anxious. After the song, Mike quickly leans towards Micky.)

Mike: Seen anythin' that looks like goons?

Micky: Not yet, but that doesn't mean they aren't here.

Mike: I'm worried. Nothin's happened. Nothin' happened at rehearsal, either.

Micky: Yeah. They must be waiting for just the right moment.

Mike: Shit'll probably hit the fan when Kevin comes out...IF he comes out. He looked terrible at rehearsal, and he couldn't remember a damn thing. :p

Micky: Sounds probable. I just hope Kevin gets his act together before the fans riot.

Mike: He'd better. We can only hold them and the goons off for so long.

Micky: No kidding.

Mike: (Bows for the audience) Thank you, thank you, you've been great. And now, the man you're all really here for, here he is, the sweetheart of sixteen million girls (Mike makes a face here, but then returns to a pasted-on smile), Kevin Casserman!

(Mike and Micky back into the wings as Kevin, wearing shades, stumbles onstage.)

Kevin: Huh? Oh, hi there, folks! (Shades his eyes) Kinda bright out here, ain't it?

Mike: (Groans) Oh god, he's gonna make a fool of himself.

Micky: *shakes his head* He's gonna get trampled by unhappy fans. :P

Kevin: Oh, well, I'm here to sing now. Do you want me to sing? (Earth-shaking screams well up from the audience) I guess you do. ;)

Mike: He sounds a little better. Maybe all that screamin' sobered him up. :p

Micky: Let’s hope so.

Mike: (Nods at backstage) Come on. They won't need us for a while yet. Let's go have a look at the backstage area and make sure no one's skulkin' around who shouldn't be.

Micky: Right with ya, Mike.

(Mike and Micky head backstage as what sounds like "I Think I Love You" begins. It's heard faintly backstage as the guys make their way around crates, equipment, and yards and yards of cables.)

Mike: Seen anythin' in a fancy suit and hats yet?

Micky: Not yet.

Mike: (Stops and closes his eyes) My wolf's intuition is actin' up again. There's somethin' seriously wrong here. Not pure-evil like Sheila n' Alex, but definitely a threat. And it's close by.

(He sniffs deeply, then makes a face.)

Mike: I smell the cologne some of those guys were wearin' last night. Real snazzy, expensive stuff, too.

Micky: Goody.

(Mike gestures to Mick to follow him...but they don't notice the shadows that follow THEM. Mike makes his way to the dressing rooms backstage. Kevin's juts open.)

Mike: (Sniffs again) I think we found 'em, Mick. They're here.

Micky: Let’s get the jump on them, then.

Mike: Maybe we'd better get Sergeant Nielson first.

Micky: And hope they don't run out on us in the meantime.

Mike: Come on, Mick. (He starts, but stops and sniffs again.) Mick, do you smell... (Suddenly, two men dressed in black grab him from behind. One clamps a hand over his mouth)

Micky: What the...

Man In Black 1: Here's one of those little asses who called the cops on us last night, boss!

(Two more grab Mick from behind, wrapping a scarf around his mouth.)

Man In Black 2: (Chuckles; he comes into the dim light. He's a very tall, wiry fellow with a rugged, pockmarked face and thick, dark gold hair) These are the ones who interfered last night, huh? Don't look so amazing to me. They're barely boys.

Man In Black 3: But this one (shakes Micky) threw me over his shoulder like it was nothing!

Man In Black 1: And this one (shakes Mike) has one hell of a right hook! :p

Man In Black 3: Can we kill them, boss?

*Micky mumbles something into his gag.*

The Huge: Not yet. We'll kill them, along with Casserman, after the concert. Tie them up and lock them in the dressing room.

(Mike struggles and growls, trying to pull away. He glares white hot lasers at The Huge.)

The Huge: I wouldn't do that, boy. (Pulls out a switchblade and holds it to Micky's neck) I can do lots of nasty things to your friend here.

(Mike stops struggling, but he continues to glare.)

*Micky's eyes widen. He mumbles again.*

The Huge: Get ridda both of them after the concert. Shoot them or somethin'. We don't have the time now. Our friend Mr. Casserman is going to have a little accident. Nothing that will kill him, just bad enough that he'll give up the money he owes me. I don't like it when my associates don't come through with payment. It...gives me indigestion. (Runs a finger across Micky's cheek, then his neck and shoulder) Have a pleasant day, boys. (He walks off in one direction. Some thugs follow him; others drag Micky and Mike into the dressing room.)

(Cut to the dressing room. Micky and Mike are tied back-to-back to the chair Kevin sat in during the first part and another chair. Mike manages to shake his gag off.)

Mike: Man, Micky, why do I listen to you? Oh, yeah, this is going to be so simple! :P

*Micky mumbles something and tries to get his gag off, without success.*

Mike: We've gotta get outta here and warn Nielson, before they do somethin' onstage that hurts Kevin and all those screamin' kids, too.

*Micky makes a noise that sounds like agreement.*

Mike: (Struggles, but finally rests) These ropes are damn tight! What did they do, triple-knot them? :p

*Micky makes an aggravated noise, trying to remove his gag.*

Mike: (Chuckles) I'm gonna have to ask Em to write more scenes with you gagged into our stories. I don't think I've EVER heard you this quiet!

*Micky says something through his gag that sounds extremely vulgar.* ;) :P X-(

Mike: Now, Mick, be nice. (Frowns) You know, maybe we could use our powers to at least loosen the ropes. No one's lookin'.

*Micky rolls his eyes and grumbles into the gag.*

(Mike concentrates. There's a dark blue light around his ropes, and they do loosen. He tugs at them, loosening them more until he has the ropes on his hands off.)

*Micky also concentrates. His ropes loosen. He pulls his hands free, then rips the gag off.*

Micky: Damn gag.

Mike: (He frees his torso, then unties his feet) Ok, Mick, got it?

Micky: Yeah, yeah... :P

Mike: (Helps Mick with the last of his ropes) We've gotta figure out a way to get outta here. They're probably guardin' the door.

Micky: Could use a little imagination power on them.

Mike: We're gonna have to, unless... (looks around the dressing room; sees a small window)...unless we find another way out. (Nods at the window) I'd say we're both thin enough to fit in there, and I doubt it's guarded.

Micky: Then lets go for it.

(Mike drags two chairs over to the window and stacks them. He concentrates on the window. There's a blue light around it, and it opens. He climbs out first, dropping to a grassy, litter-strewn area underneath.)

Micky: *pokes his head out* Show off!

Mike: Thanks for the compliment, Showboater of All Time.

Micky: No problem. *starts to squeeze through; pauses* Uh oh... :"> ;)

Mike: Mick, don't tell me you're stuck. :p

Micky: Okay, I won't tell you.

*Micky sucks in a breath and finally squeezes through, falling flat on the grass.*

Micky: Ow.

Mike: You ok?

Micky: Yeah, it's mostly my pride. :P

Mike: Don't worry, Mick. Ain't no one saw your graceful movements out here. They're all watchin' the concert.

Micky: I didn't mean the fall.

Mike: Yeah, well, it's nice to see you're finally gainin' some weight. Been eatin' too many chocolate chip cookies with the twins lately?

Micky: Shut up.

Mike: (Sighs) We've gotta get back in there and find Nielson and those goons, if Nielson hasn't found them already.

Micky: Yeah. How we gonna get back in, though?

Mike: (Points upwards) We could try the roof and the catwalks. We'll have a better vantage point from up there, too.

Micky: Good idea.

(Mike starts up a ladder on the side of the building, with Micky following close behind. They run along the catwalk. Kevin sings another bubblegum song, "Sugar Sugar," which is barely heard over the screaming fans in the audience.)

Mike: Ok, see anythin' that isn't normal?

Micky: *looks into the crowd* I think there's someone laying on top of the crowd. *shakes his head* Must be seeing things. No one's stupid enough to do something like that.

Mike: Mick, you've seen our concerts. These fans are crazy enough to do anythin'. (sniffs again, then looks thoughtful.)

Micky: True.

Mike: The crowd...Micky...

Micky: What is it, Mike?

Mike: Mick, I smell...THAT cologne. They're up here...and in the crowd. (Sniffs harder, then concentrates) They're comin' from the audience. I think there's some under us, too.

Micky: Great.

Mike: Micky...(indicates some men doing something to the amps)...look at that. You're the electrical genius here. Can you tell what they're up to?

Micky: *squints a bit, then his eyes widen* Oh, shit.

Mike: Not good, huh?

Micky: Not really. They're planting an explosive in there!

Mike: Oh, shit. Come on, Mick. We've gotta find Nielson and stop them!

(Three men in black and two stagehands come running at them at the same time.)

Stagehands: Hey, shouldn't you guys be down below?

Man In Black 1: There! That's them! They're the ones who escaped!

Mike: Man...

Micky: This is getting annoying.

Mike: Come on, Micky! Let's get these guys down below and get Nielson!

("Pleasant Valley Sunday" begins as Mike jumps over and around several thugs and stagehands, making his way downstairs.)

*Micky sets himself on a railing and waves at the thugs, then goes sliding down to catch up with Mike.*

(They both come out at the same time and run into each other. As they rub their heads and noses and grumble, Mike points to the thugs and stagehands coming at him, indicating that Micky should defuse the bombs while he finds Nielson.)

*Micky nods and heads off to work on the explosive.*

(Mike ducks under a thug, then uses cord to round a few more up. He plays guitar for another thug, but he just runs off with his hands over his ears. Mike shrugs and takes off.)

(Mike runs over to Nielson, who is on the phone. He tries to pull him to the thugs, but Nielson goes on talking. McStaren, however, does join Mike as the two take off for the stage. Several thugs push their way through the crowd.)

*Micky mutes his light and makes a screwdriver appear. He tinkers with the explosive, his tongue poking out the side of his mouth.*

(Mike grabs a drumstick from Kevin's surprised drummer and goes after one of the thugs with it. The thug grabs the other one, and they have a mock duel. Mike finally knocks the stick out of the thug's hand. He hits him over the head with a maraca, knocking him out. He hands the drummer his sticks back.)

*Sparks fly as Micky continues to tinker.* ;)

(Mike, Kevin, and a couple of stagehands cook hot dogs on the amps. Mike hands one to Micky. McStaren takes hot dogs into the audience and sells them.)

(Kevin sings as loud as he can into one crook's ear, making him run offstage.)

("The Huge" tries to make his way through the crowd, but he's squashed and deafened by several teenage girls. McStaren passes through again, now selling peanuts and candy.)

*Micky finally backs away from the amps and gives a thumbs-up.*

(Mike indicates two thugs coming at them. They both jump over the thugs at the same time as the thugs run into a wall, making thug-shaped holes as they slide down.)

(Kevin's eyes widen as "The Huge" comes onstage. He makes a jump for Kevin, but he's followed by teenage girls, who drag him back into the crowd. Mike and Micky just barely get away from them.)

(Nielson and his men run onstage as the song ends. Some of his men push the remaining girls back into the crowd. Others round up the thugs, and thugs dressed as stagehands.)

Nielson: Good work, boys.

Mike: Thanks. They booby-trapped the amps.

Micky: Which was pretty easy to diffuse.

Nielson: (Nods as they pull back offstage and Kevin continues his concert) Well, the girls don't seem to have noticed anything. They probably thought it was part of the show.

McStaren: (Grins as he comes back) And I made a fortune in food and souvenir sales!

Nielson: Where's "The Huge?" I know he's here. Some of my men spotted him in the audience not long before the last song.

Mike: I don't think there's much left of him. The audience got him.

Micky: With any luck, he's in about a thousand pieces by now.

(Two cops come backstage, holding up what might have been The Huge once. His natty polyester suit is torn to shreds, his hair is a mess, he's dirty, his eyes are wild, and he's missing his shoes and a few teeth.)

"The Huge": (Flings himself in front of Nielson) Take me to jail! Put me on trial! Anything! Stick me naked in a vat filled with boiling hot chocolate fudge and hungry lions! Just don't put me back out there with those lunatic teenage kids!

Nielson: Does this mean you're turning yourself in?

"The Huge": YES! I'm turning myself in, out, and all about, JUST GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE and in a nice, safe place, away from all these lovesick girls! :p :o

Nielson: (Pats "The Huge" on the shoulder) There, there, Mr. The Huge. We'll get you a nice, quiet jail cell where there are no girls to tear you into shreds.

The Huge: (Whimpers) Please!

Nielson: (Nods at two of his men) Ok, take him away. (Looks at Mike and Micky) I'm going to talk to the stagehands who saw this. I'll be back for your statements after the concert.

McStaren: (To Mike and Micky as Nielson heads off to the wings) What can I do to thank you boys for saving Kevin's rear...and this concert for all these girls, who inadvertently saved ALL of us? ;)

Mike: (Grins) Well... (looks at Micky)...wanna play one of OUR songs? Show these kids what good music sounds like? ;)

Micky: *grins* Would LOVE to! ;)

(Cut to onstage, as Kevin finishes another song. As he opens his mouth to introduce the next song, Mike and Micky walk onto the stage. Mike takes a guitar, and Micky gets behind the drumset.)

Mike: (Looks at Micky) Why don't we remind any bad guys that we ain't their steppin' stone? ;)

Micky: *beams* Gladly. ;) :D

Kevin: I...hey! Where did you guys go? It got CRAZY up here! The fans tore The Huge to bits n' pieces! You should have seen it!

Mike: Oh, we've been around, kid. (Looks at the crowd) You guys wanna have a nice little jam? ;)

(The crowd roars its approval. :D)

Kevin: I think I know this song. I've heard The Monkees sing it in concert! :D

(There's another roar from the crowd. :D)

Mike: Nice to see we have fans. ;)

Kevin: I can't believe I get to sing with you guys!

Mike: Yeah, I'm just glad we're ALIVE to sing at all.

Kevin: You have no idea how much I appreciate that. ;)

Micky: The feeling's mutual.

Mike: (Looks out to the audience) Oh, and thanks to all of you out there, too. You helped more tonight than any of you will ever know.

(The crowd roars it's approval once again.)

Mike: Ok, guys, let's kick it off. A one and a two and a... (And we launch into "(I'm Not Your) Stepping Stone" as the crowd goes crazy. Nielson and some of his men sing and move along with the music in the wings. McStaren returns to hawking stuff in the stands, this time t-shirts and baseball caps. And we fade out on a wide, panoramic view of Micky, Mike, Kevin, and the screaming crowds as "(I'm Not Your) Stepping Stone" fades out.)