And now, let's begin. Everyone ready for a little dyn-o-mite, action-packed excitement?

Mike: Huh?

Peter: Um, no. I think Val and I will sit this one out.

Micky: I'm always ready! :D ;)

(We open at a concert filled with screaming teenagers, mostly young girls, and their parents...but it isn't a Monkees concert. A young man with long blond hair and flashing blue eyes sings the last of "The Day We Fell In Love" as the camera zooms in on two people in the crowd. It ultimately follows Micky and Mike backstage.)

Micky: Isn't this great, Mike? :D ;)

Mike: (Over the crowd) No. You know I hate this kind of bubblegum crap. We're the oldest damn people here besides the stage crew! Kevin Casserman is just like Frankie Catalina and all the other cutsie-pie blond idiots a bunch of managers stick on a stage for teen girls to moon over.

Micky: *rolls his eyes* Mike, Mike, Mike...

Mike: Micky, why are we here, other than to support other Headquarters artists?

Micky: Kevin's in a bit of a bind, actually...

Mike: Micky, what did you get us involved with THIS time?

Micky: Death threats.

Mike: What, some kid finally decided to expose him for bein' a phony?

Micky: Not exactly. See, he borrowed some money from some guys he thought were his friends. Since then, they've been wanting a portion of the money he's earned, and he's tired of it. And since he's no longer paying him, they're threatening his life.

Mike: Great. What does that have to do with us? We ain't the ones who were dumb enough to pull shit like that.

Micky: I sorta told Nielson we'd handle it.

Mike: Why us? We're goin' on tour in a few weeks ourselves, we have an album to finish, and WE ain't cops!

Micky: Because I'm tired of rehearsing all the damn time, Mike! Same thing day in, day out. I'm going crazy!

Mike: I understand that, Mick, but the fact remains WE AIN'T COPS.

Micky: So? How much of what we've been through already could you say that about, but we did it? How's this any different from all those other times?

Mike: (Sighs) Mick, I'm bored, too, but when I'm bored, I work on music or play with the kids. Not to mention we're a tad short on help right now. Davy and Daphne are visiting her parents in Bakersfield, and I think Pete said he and Valerie wanted some quality time with Jordan before our next tour.

Micky: That's exactly why I thought this was perfect. It's just you and me. We can't really rehearse without Pete and Davy, and there's only so many games I can play with the twins in one day before I'm ready to lose my mind. And before you ask, I've already had eating contests with Lauren. We're tied so far.

Mike: (Sighs) Well, all right. As long as the cops do the really heavy stuff. This ain't "Shaft," ya know, and we ain’t Richard Roundtree.

Micky: Of course! ;)

Mike: (Looks around) Maybe we'd better get backstage while we can, before the fans see us here and start beggin' for autographs an' everythin' else they can get their hands on.

Micky: Good idea. I don't fell like being torn to shreds unless it's done by the twins or Lauren.

(Mike pulls Micky backstage, ducking around men carrying various lights and microphones and amps.)

Mike: Ok, Mick, how are we gonna keep an eye on this guy without the fans noticin' us?

Micky: Well... *glances around* Ah HA! *ducks towards a trunk against a wall. He returns with two sweatshirts and two baseball caps.*

Mike: (Bursts into laughter) THAT'S your idea of a disguise?

Micky: What? :-/

*Micky puts one of the caps on, completely hiding his curls underneath.*

Mike: Mick, they'll see through that in five seconds! (Grins) Maybe we could arrange to hide in plain sight.

*Micky sticks his tongue out when Mike turns his back on him.*

Mike: Where's Nielson? Talkin' to Casserman? I wanna tell both of them I have a great idea for an openin' band who will attract even more attention to the concert. ;)

Micky: Probably talking in his dressing room. Should be right back here...

(Mike follows Micky to the dressing rooms. Micky pulls him into the one with the large gold star on the door. It's a typical dressing room, filled with flowers, racks of costumes, make-up, playbills from various concerts, fan letters, and pictures of Casserman with celebrities. A somewhat weary-looking Casserman sits at a chair in front of the huge, light-lined mirror. Nielson is on one side of him. A dapper-looking older man in a fine suit is on the other.)

Nielson: Dolenz, glad you could join us.

Casserman: (Grins) Ahh, fans. It's nice to see some male ones.

Micky: *grins* Glad to be appreciated. ;)

Mike: (Crosses his arms and leans against the door grumpily) I ain't no fan of yours, boy. In fact, I think your stuff is for five-year-olds. I just don't wanna see the idol of five-year-olds get killed in a very adult way.

Nielson: Happy as ever, Nesmith?

(Mike grumbles.)

Micky: He's all charm, can't ya tell? ;) :P

Casserman: (Looks down) Look, a few years back, I was just starting in LA and needed money, so I went to some guys I'd met who claimed to be in the loan business and borrowed some money from them. I later found out that "loan business" involved money-laundering, racketeering, kidnapping, and other things of which I'd prefer to keep my ass out of. I refused to pay the money back after I made my first gold record. Then, last year, after my gold record, I got this letter. (Hands a tattered paper to Micky. Mike leans over his shoulder)

Mike: (Whistles) You ARE up a serious shit creek, ain't ya, boy?

Micky: Damn.

Casserman: And that was just the beginning. I didn't take it seriously at first, but there's been other letters, and more...threats. Crewpeople and opening band members have been hurt or disappeared suddenly. Someone shoved a light onto the stage, and it barely missed me. A microphone short-circuited and almost fried my hands. Amps and equipment have been stolen, and there's been claims to the press that I have a sordid past involving women I never knew. :p

Mike: So what do you want us to do?

Nielson: We want you to find out who's been getting on the concerts. You're popular with almost the same crowds he is, and you work with a lot of the same people. You have access to inside information we don't.

McStaren: (Nods and shakes both boys' hands) My name is Richard McStaren, and I'm Kevin's manager. I know your manager Valerie Thorkleson well. I could call her and Headquarters Records and arrange to have you brought on to replace the opening band that dropped out.

Micky: Well, Mike? ;)

Mike: I can't believe I'm agreein' to this, but...(sighs)...when do we start?

Casserman: You'll do it?

(Mike just nods, clearly unhappy.)

Micky: *grins* You bet we will!

Casserman: (Puts his arms around Micky) I like your style, Micky. I've always wanted to meet you guys, but you never play town at the same time as me. (He grabs a paper and a pencil from the dresser) Can I have your autograph? My friends will never believe I have two of the Monkees as an opening act! :D

Micky: Thanks, man, of course! *takes the paper and scribbles signature* Here ya go, Kevin. ;) :D

Casserman: (He's beaming) Thanks! This is beyond awesome! (Takes a paper and signs his) And of course, you'll want mine to show all of YOUR friends. ;)

(Mike snorts.)

Micky: Naturally.

McStaren: Why don't we discuss your playlist and opening act, then tell you more about my boy here? (He puts a hand on Casserman's shoulder)

Casserman: I'm dying to tell you all about me. That's why you're here, after all.

Mike: (Growls and pokes Kevin in the chest) Look, I'll help you and keep you from endin' up in cement shoes, but just remember that I'm here for the cops, not 'cause I'm one of your lovesick groupies, understand?

Casserman: Don't blow a fuse, Nesmith. You're as much fun as a wet rag.

Mike: And you have the brains of one.

Nielson: (Gets between the two) Ok, ok, boys, save it for the poolroom, or wherever musicians have bar brawls. Right now, we need to find out who has been committing these acts of sabotage, not sabotage each other.

McStaren: He's right. (Takes Casserman's shoulder) Come on, Kevin. Let's show them the playing venue. Let them get acquainted with the big-time.

Mike: We're more than acquainted with it, thank you.

Casserman: Oh, I'm sure you are, old man. After all, you've been around for a while now. Your fans probably throw you their false teeth instead of their panties onstage.

McStaren: That's ENOUGH! (Takes Kevin's shoulder firmly and leads him away as Mike raises his fists)

Micky: Oh brother. :P

Mike: Can't I pop him one? Just one?

Nielson: You shouldn't let him bait you like that, Nesmith. He's just a kid.

Mike: Yeah, well, he's gonna have a few false teeth of his own if he don't learn to keep his trap shut.

Micky: You aren't exactly innocent in all this, either, Mike.

Mike: Gee, could that be because I don't like him, even if I don't think he deserves what I'm sure the mob has in mind for him? :p

Nielson: Please, Nesmith, put your personal dislike aside and remember that this is a kid in way over his head with some very nasty people. We think this could lead us to one of the larger LA area mobs.

Mike: As long as he stays away from me and don't run on about how he's God's gift to everythin', I think I can handle it.

Nielson: Just go out and get acquainted with the crew and other musicians. See what you can find out, and report back to me tonight.

Mike: (Sighs) Fine, but I ain't gonna enjoy it. Come on, Mick. (Looks around; Micky's gone) Micky? (He and Nielson go off in search of Mick, Casserman, and McStaren as "The Door Into Summer" begins.)

(Mike runs to the catwalks, looking for Micky...who is under him, talking to Casserman and some crew members. We see the camera pull back as Mike runs to the floor. Casserman and Micky now appear over him on the catwalk. ;) )

(Nielson hears what he thinks is gunshots. He drops to his knees and shoots into the curtains. A young man comes out with his hands up, horrified. He dropped a huge tin "E" for "KEVIN," which is now filled with bullet holes. :o )

*Micky helps out a crew member working with the ropes backstage. He takes hold of the rope while the crew member goes to check on something else. As soon as the crew guy lets go of the rope, the rope flies up, taking Micky with it.* :P

(Mike is still looking for Micky. He looks up...and sees Micky holding onto the rope on the ceiling. He points downwards, ordering Micky to get down here NOW.)

*Micky looks at the camera and shrugs his shoulders, then lets go. We see a blur, then a shot of Mike and Micky on the floor, Micky sitting on Mike.*

(Mike pushes Micky off with a groan and goes in search of Casserman.)

*Micky scratches his head, wondering what he did wrong.* :-/ ;)

(Mike goes to the stage. He smiles and picks up a guitar, playing a few notes. Suddenly, we hear a noise, and when we cut back to Mike, the guitar is smoking and there's another bullet hole in the poor crewman's "E." The crewman takes off. Mike drops the guitar and takes off in the other direction.)

(Casserman pulls Micky over to the drumset. He wants to see him play up close.)

*Micky takes the drumsticks, twirls them, then crashes the cymbals to start. Unfortunately, the entire kit falls apart. Micky clearly mouths "I didn't do it!"*

(Casserman kicks the bass drum, complaining loudly about cheap equipment...and there's an explosion the moment his toe touches it that brings Mike onstage. Mike glares at Micky.)

*Micky puts his hands up and shakes his head. Again, you can see him mouth "I didn't do it!"* :P

(Casserman starts in on Mike, telling him to leave Mick alone. Mike lets loose with his opinions on Casserman and his music, many of them likely profane. As the two argue, we see a pair of hands in dark gloves on the shadowy catwalks pushing something large and square towards the two musicians on the stage.)

(Several people cry out as a huge, solid rectangular object brings the music to a crashing halt. Micky jumps one way and Mike pushes Casserman the other way as a piano lands on the stage, putting a very large hole in the stage and bringing Nielson, McStaren, and most of the rest of the crew back on.)

Nielson: Holy god-damn SHIT! What the hell was THAT?

Mike: (Helps Casserman to his feet) Someone's idea of bein' obvious. :p

Casserman: They tried to kill us!

Mike: No shit.

Micky: *gulps* Uhhhh...

Casserman: NOW do you believe me?

Mike: I believe you definitely pissed someone off you shouldn't have. :p

Casserman: These guys mean business! I don't wanna die! (Grabs Mike and whimpers) Oh my GOD, I don't WANNA DIE! (Shakes Mike) MAMA, I DON'T WANNA DIE!

Mike: Geez, don't kill ME, man. (Pries Casserman off of him)

*Micky tries to not chuckle, but fails.*

Nielson: Look, we'll provide around-the-clock security for you during and after all concerts. We'll also beef up security at the concert venue.

Casserman: Good. (Grins) While you're doing that, why don't we go out and have some fun? ;)

Mike: (Narrows his eyes) What do you have in mind?

Casserman: (Puts an arm around Micky and Mike's shoulders) Why don't we get our minds off of all this and go to a place I know of where mob goons will NEVER find us? ;)

Micky: Gladly.

Mike: I dunno...

Casserman: It'll be fun! Come on, Mike, learn to live a little!

Mike: Well...

Casserman: I'll bet Micky would want to hit some fashionable nightspots and dance with all the gorgeous chicks, right?

Micky: Hit the night spots, yes, but if I dance with any gorgeous chicks other than my wife, SHE'LL hit ME.

Casserman: How will she know?

(Mike grins.)

Casserman: Well, I'm sure you'll still have a great time. Even if you can't have the women, I'm sure you'll enjoy the wine and the song.

Mike: THOSE I can handle.

Casserman: Well, let's go, then! My treat!

Micky: Alright! :D

(The three walk off, Mike pushing Casserman's arm off his shoulder. As they leave, followed by Nielson and McStaren, we see something else fall...this time a safe.)