Ok, everyone ready to find out more about these horse rustlers?

Mike: Yeah. I'm worried about Joanne and Aunt Kate.

Peter: I'm just worried. :(

Micky: I'm ready.

Lauren: Me, too.

Davy: Let's go, before someone 'urts those beautiful 'orses.

(Cut to the main ranch house. Mike, Emma, and Peter sit with Aunt Kate and an older man with a scruffy mane of gray hair and a bushy beard. A middle-age black woman and a younger boy bustle around the fully-stocked modern kitchen, checking food here and there.)

Mike: You say no one's seen these rustlers?

Man: Nope. They work by night. Security guards don't do no good. They drug them or blindfold and gag them from behind. Security machines just get shut down.

Aunt Kate: Someone's had to have noticed a bunch of horses being moved out.

Man: The horses probably get doped, too, or muzzled.

Emma: Has anyone investigated possible suspects?

Man: (Sighs) That's the problem. It could be ANYONE in the valley who commercially runs a horse ranch. The rodeo is a big deal. The winnings include big cash prizes, big horse sales, and a lot of prestige. Some of the people further up aways who don't come down to the valley much make almost all their money for the year on the rodeos.

Emma: Sounds like someone is trying to eliminate the competition.

Mike: Is that why security's been increased here?

Man: (Nods) Yeah. We're real scared, Mike. Hell, the whole valley's runnin' scared! Three ranches already lost their best stock.

Peter: (Shivers) That's terrible! That means they've probably won't be able to make much money this year! :(

Man: Right.

Aunt Kate: Someone badly wants the horse ranches in the area to die a stone-cold death, but who?

(No one is ever able to answer Aunt Kate's question. Joanne brings the others in as the man opens his mouth. Katie runs over to her parents and aunt.)

Katie: Mama! Papa! Auntie Katie! :D

Aunt Kate: Come over here and give your aunt a great, big hug, little girl! (Katie does so, climbing into her lap. Kate looks her over) My goodness! I think you've shot up at least two or three inches since the last time I saw you! You'll be taller than your father soon! ;)

Katie: Me big girl! :D

Mike: Nahh, she's got a while to go before she gets that far. ;)

(Joanne stares at Mike, who avoids her eyes. Emma watches them quizzically. :-/)

Peter: How was your tour? :)

Micky: It was fun, if a little wet. ;) :P

Joanne: (Grins) Fun. The kids are adorable, and they learn fast. :)

Katie: Horsie all clean! :D

Mike: Did you clean a horsie, Miss Katie? ;)

Joanne: I let them help me feed, clean, and brush Dallas. :)

Katie: Unca Micky n' Unca Davy all clean! ;) :D

Mike: (Looks the two over) I thought you two were a little damp. ;)

Aunt Kate: There's a pool at our ranch if you want to go for a swim. ;)

Micky: It'd be better than getting soaked by a bucket of water. ;)

Aunt Kate: (Looks the twins over) You know, I've never met these two, though I did meet their mother at Mike and Emma’s wedding. What's your names, partners? ;) :)

Little Mick: Me Micky! :D

Shelly: I'm Shelly. :)

Lauren: These rugrats are mine and Micky's. :)

Aunt Kate: Well, aren't those nice names? (Crooked grin) Familiar, too. Micky number two, huh? (Looks up at Lauren and Micky) They're charming, dear. Bet they’re a handlful, too, if they're anything like I remember their father being when the boys visited the ranch. ;)

Micky: Are you kidding? *grins* They're better behaved than I am. ;)

Micky: And, actually, *plants a hand on Mick's head* he's Micky number three. ;)

Lauren: *jerks a thumb* Everyone gets fooled because Mick here don't use his Jr. status, or even his whole name, for that matter. ;)

Micky: *shrugs* Dad went by his real first name. I don't. ;)

Lauren: Picky. :P ;)

Aunt Kate: They really are that much of a handful, then? (Looks at the twins and grins) Well, it shouldn't be any worse than raising six sons and two daughters. You think havin’ two kids at dinner is insane? Try six boys, five farm hands, and your nephew at one table. ;)

Mike: Yeah. I was lucky if I could grab a bread crust. :p

Aunt Kate: You were usually there first. ;) :p

(Mike grumbles as Emma snickers. ;) )

Lauren: *glares at Mick* Don't even think about it. ;)

Micky: *innocent grin* Never, babe. ;)

(Now Davy and Daphne are the ones snickering.)

Black Woman: (Grins) Everyone ready for a good steak dinner?

Man: Ruby, you can't make a bad one. ;)

Ruby: I should hope not! I've only been cooking for you for twenty years! ;)

Davy: (As Ruby brings a plateful of steaming hot steaks to the table) Micky, it's not polite to drool at the table. ;)

Micky: I'll drool if I wanna drool! I’ll just be neat about it. ;)

Ruby: Aw, let him drool! Just a man's way of showin' his appreciation for a good piece of meat...steak or otherwise. ;)

Micky: See that, Dave? So there. :P ;)

Valerie: (She comes out of a room with a sleeping Jordan in a stroller) Hi, guys. I finally got Jordan to sleep after feeding him. He was really hungry tonight! :)

Katie: Ba'by nice. :)

Mike: Katie likes Jordan. She's always playin' with him and tryin' to make him laugh. :)

Aunt Kate: Glad to hear she has friends.

Emma: She loves running around with the twins, too. They chase each other and play games. ;)

Katie: Lotsa fun! :D

Mick: Yeah! :D

Aunt Kate: (As everyone sits around a huge table, Katie in an old wooden high chair) The kids seem happy enough. It's nice that they get to be together like that. (Sighs) Mike, I'm just glad you finally found some decent friends, not those hooligans you used to run around with. :p

Mike: (Makes a face as Ruby and Joanne dish out steak, baked potatoes, and greens) Who says these guys ain't hooligans? ;)

Aunt Kate: Have any of you burned a barn down yet?

Mike: That was an accident, Aunt Kate! We were foolin' around. :p

Aunt Kate: Uh-huh. Tell that to Old Man Farber in Junctionville.

Lauren: Would explosions count? *glances at Micky, who looks around innocently* ;)

Peter: Micky likes to blow things up.

Aunt Kate: In which case, the storage shed where we keep the paints and chemicals is off-limits to you. ;)

Micky: *grumbles* Darn. :P

Davy: I'll bet you know lots of great stories about Mike when 'e was a kid, Kate. ;)

Joanne: Don't forget me. I've known Mike since we were in school together.

Mike: Ain't much to tell.

Davy: Aunt Kate, there's somethin' I've always wanted to know. Did he REALLY walk five miles both ways to get to school?

Aunt Kate: (Looks at Mike with a familiar crooked grin) He took the bus. ;)

Mike: Yeah, yeah... :p

Joanne: We used to stick together in school, 'cause we were pretty much the only ones in our class who were missing parents. We'd follow the train tracks for hours and hang out at the pool room with all the guys after they'd get off of work and study the fine art of cheating at pool and poker. ;)

Davy: Is THAT why Mike always wins at poker? :p ;)

Mike: Man, stop givin' all my secrets away! :p

Micky: You wouldn't happen to know the REAL story behind the wool hat, would you? ;)

Joanne: Actually, I always wondered that myself. ;)

Mike: Hey, I TOLD you guys I used it for keepin' my hair outta my face! :p

Aunt Kate: (Crosses her arms and shakes her head) I'll like Michael tell that one when he's ready. ;)

Micky: *sighs* I guess we won't be hearing about that, then. :P ;)

Ruby: What DID happen to all those wool hats you used to wear, Michael?

Mike: Got sick of bein' teased about them and called "wool hat." I still have them, I just don't wear them anymore. :p

Micky: He won't let us borrow them, either. :P ;)

Mike: Your heads wouldn't fit them. :p

Peter: (Turns to the man at the table before Mike and Micky can argue further) You really have a lovely ranch, sir.

Man: Thank you, young man.

Peter: I'm Peter Tork. (Nods at Valerie) That's my wife, Valerie. She owns the record company that releases our albums. :)

Aunt Kate: You have good taste, young lady. :)

Valerie: Thank you. From the moment they first auditioned for my debutante party, I knew they had real talent. It was just a matter of finding the right outlet for them to share that talent. :)

Joanne: I have both your albums. They're pretty good, but Mike doesn't have enough material. ;)

Aunt Kate: I always knew somethin' good would come of that guitar I gave you. You needed somethin' to help your hand back into shape, and music is good for the soul anyway. :)

Mike: You don't know the half of that, Aunt Kate. ;) :p

Davy: You know, 'e won't talk much about just 'ow 'e 'urt 'is 'and, eithah.

Mike: It was somethin' stupid with a sledgehammer. :p

Aunt Kate: "Something stupid?" You hit your hand with the thing when you were arguin’ with Freddie! ;) :p

Mike: He was teasin' me 'bout bein' grounded for gettin' a dent in Jerry's car. :p

Aunt Kate: Jerry needed that car. He was working at Old Man Farber's on weekends, and the dent cost thirty dollars to fix! :p

Peter: I'll bet you and Joanne used to do fun stuff together, Mike!

Emma: (Mutters) Yeah, me too.

Mike: Um, yeah, we did some crazy shit.

Aunt Kate: (Smacks the back of Mike's head) Watch your language around the children, Michael. ;) :p

Mike: (Rubs his head) Aunt Kate, I ain't some six-year-old who needs his mouth washed out! :p

Aunt Kate: Oh, no? Got any soap? ;)

Mike: Please, I learned half my vocabulary from listenin' to you get mad at the ranch hands. ;)

Aunt Kate: I wouldn't have said any of that if I'd known you were listenin'.

Mike: Yes, you would. ;)

Davy: (Grins as Ruby clears the plates) You know, this is kinda fun, watchin' you two. ;)

Emma: You should see them on holidays. They're hilarious at Christmas. ;)

(Mike just blushes and mutters; Kate chuckles. ;) :p)

Lauren: Kinda reminds me of two other people and their banter. *glances at Micky and Davy* ;)

Davy: We've done enough of that today. ;)

Micky: Says you. ;) :P

Mike: (Makes a face) What have you two done today? :p

Aunt Kate: Don't rag on them, Michael. They're alive, and you're not their father. :p

Joanne: Didn't you know? Mike's everybody's father. ;)

Mike: Damn straight. ;)

Katie: MY papa! :D (Points at Mike with her spoon)

Mike: Heck yeah I'm your papa, cowgirl. ;)

Joanne: (Ruffles Katie's hair) You're so cute. How did you get to be so cute with a dad like that? (Indicates Mike) ;)

Davy: She got Emma's side of the family. ;)

Katie: (Blushes) Aw... :">

Micky: Agreed. ;)

(Mike just mutters. :p)

(Ruby brings a huge pecan pie to the table, followed by Joanne with an equally large apple pie.)

Man: Ruby, that's the best-lookin' thing you've ever made, and given the fine stuff you've made for us over the years, that's sayin' a lot. :D ;)

Ruby: Thank you, Mr. Andrew. It must be good. I spent all afternoon tryin' to keep my boy Sam's fingers out of the fillin'. ;)

Andrew: Sam always was a kid with taste. ;)

(Ruby and Joanne slice the pies into wedges and puts them on the table, letting whomever wants a piece reach for them.)

*Micky reaches for two, one of each.* :D ;)

Aunt Kate: (Smacks Micky's hand) One at a time, boy! It ain't gettin' up and wanderin' away! :p

Davy: You'd be surprised what food does when it gets ideas. ;)

Micky: *rubs his hand* What difference does it make? I'm gonna eat both anyway. :-/ ;)

Joanne: (As she sits down) Dad, I'm worried.

Andrew: 'Bout what?

Joanne: I don't like the looks of this horse-theft ring. Three ranches lost their stock. We've worked hard to raise these horses, and I don't want us to be next.

Andrew: Jo, I've added extra security, the cops are searchin' the valley for these creatons, and all of my men know to be on the alert. There ain't much more we can do.

Joanne: Maybe we should put some people in with the horses to watch them and keep an eye on them.

Andrew: You mean, on the inside?

Joanne: Yes. I know you have men guarding the outside of the stables, but it might help to have someone on the inside stay with the horses, too.

Ruby: I don't know about that, Jo. It might be dangerous.

Joanne: They've never hurt anyone, as far as anyone knows!

Andrew: Yet.

Aunt Kate: Actually, I agree with Jo. Someone, somehow, is gettin' those horses out of the stables without anyone noticin'. If we had people on the inside, they could get the drop on them.

Andrew: Yeah, but who would be stupid enough to sit in a horse stall and wait for a bunch of possibly dangerous bandits?

Davy: 'Ow about us? ;)

Mike: What?

Micky: Yeah!

Peter: It would be scary, but if it would help those poor horses...

Andrew: It would be a big help for ME...and this whole valley. These people have got to be stopped before there's no horse stock LEFT for the Big Valley Rodeo! :p

Aunt Kate: (Frowns) Can't you get some of the hired hands to do it?

Mike: Aunt Kate, we'll be ok. We've handled worse.

Davy: MUCH worse. :p

Emma: I'll go with them.

Micky: This'll be nothing.

Joanne: So will I. I ain't gonna stand by and let those theiving jerks steal my family's pride n' joy. X(

Valerie: Lauren, you go, too. Daphne and I will stay with the kids.

Lauren: *nods* Gladly.

Davy: Daph, you are DEFINATELY not goin'. :p

Daphne: Wouldn't dream of it.

Peter: I'll go, too. I know a little bit about horses...and I couldn't stand to see ANY creature hurt or taken forcibly from it's home! (Leans over and whispers to Mike and Micky) And I could read the bandits' auras. Maybe it'll help us identify them.

Mike: Right, buddy. Good thinkin'.

*Micky nods.* ;)

Andrew: I'll go, too. This old body could use a bit of action that doesn't involve getting thrown off a horse. ;)

Emma: It's settled, then. We'll go down to the stables after dark.

Mike: Could be a "Mission: Ridiculous." ;)

Joanne: (Raises her eyebrows) What?

Mike: Running gag. We'll explain later. ;)

Aunt Kate: Just be careful. We almost lost two of you the LAST time you tried somethin' like this.

Mike: We're all goin' this time, and we'll all keep an eye on each other.

Ruby: If any shootin' starts, you boys get under cover.

Davy: I will. I don't know much about shootin'.

Peter: I do. I used to hunt with my father. I just don't prefer to do it anymore. :p

Mike: Yeah, I do, too.

Joanne: I've been handlin’ a gun as long as I could pick them up.

Andrew: And I taught her everything she knows. ;)

Micky: *grins* I can handle one. ;)

Lauren: Mick, you're the last person I'd want handling a gun. ;)

Davy: We don't need to be makin' large cratahs in the stables, the 'orses, or each othah. ;)

Micky: I'll show you a "cratah." :P ;)

Mike: (Glares at Micky and Davy) Knock it off, you two. (To the table) Ok, then, we'll meet back here at dark. Everyone wear dark clothes and carry a flashlight and some kind of weapon, just in case. Micky, no guns. I don't trust you with them. Any questions?

(The room is silent.)

Mike: Let's get movin', then. (As everyone gets up from the table, Joanne takes Mike's arm)

Joanne: Mike, I need to talk to you tonight.

Mike: Is it that important, Jo?

Joanne: Well...not really...I'm just glad to see you again.

Mike: Yeah, me too. (Sighs) We'll talk later, after we bag these asses. (Nods at the door) Come on. I've gotta split up Dave n' Mick, before they start another insult war. I can't take those two anywhere. :p

(Everyone heads out. Emma watches Joanne and Mike the whole time, a strange, confused look on her face.)