So, is everyone ready to save the dinner?

Mike: For Al's sake, yeah.

Peter: I am.

Micky: You bet.

Davy: Me, too.

(We open back in the main room. The guests have all arrived and are watching the evening's entertainment, a British rock group that mostly plays songs from the 60s. Emma and Valerie watch from a table. Mike and Peter deliver salads and drinks to the guests.)

Mike: Pete, can't you talk Valerie into doing SOME serving? Even just pouring drinks?

Peter: I might be able to do that, but she won't give out food. She says it's not in her genes.

Mike: Genes, shmens. I ain't no waiter, either, and I'm doin' it.

*Off in the background, Belavarg is sneaking around the stage.*

Mike: (Looks up) Damn. Someone's headin' out...and the men's room ain't in that direction. Come on, Pete. Let's go check it out.

Peter: Yeah, but I.... (Mike takes off before he can stop him) I'm not finished with the food!

(Peter starts to follow Mike, but a woman looks up and waves at him.)

Woman: Young man, where's my salad?

Man: (The man next to her) I want someone to refill my coffee!

(Peter just sighs.)

(Cut to backstage as the music ends. Mike ducks around several people holding small bronze statues in the shape of a naked woman holding a pen. He sees the back end of a familiar pair of tuxedo trousers and shiny black shoes and taps on the back of them.)

Mike: Nice butt, Bela.

Belavarg: *Straightens* What are you doing here?

Mike: Makin' sure you ain't doin' anythin' crazy. (Narrows his eyes) Like what you did to me. I think these people have enough dark sides as it is. This is the LA business community. (Smirks) You know, your pants are too tight.

Belavarg: It's the style.

Mike: Is leanin' over curtains and messin' with the stage also the style?

Belavarg: Why don't you just go away?

Mike: Why don't you get out from behind there? I didn't know you were winnin' an award.

Belavarg: *Strides over to Mike* I'm giving an award, if you must know.

Mike: Shouldn't you be onstage?

Belavarg: I'm not up yet... *drapes an arm around Mike's shoulders*

Mike: Don't touch me. The last time you did that, I ended up drugged and signin' a contract for you that I've regretted ever since. (Reaches to take his hand off his arm)

(We hear people drone, clapping, and music playing as various speeches are made and statues handed out onstage.)

*Belavarg works Mike's shoulders and neck.*

Mike: (Whimpers, then) I...no, not now! I...can't... (he shakes his head, trying to clear it) I...won't! (He blinks his eyes, which are rapidly growing darker...)

Belavarg: Yes, you will...

Mike: I... (takes a deep breath and opens his eyes, which are now black; he smirks a little) What was I sayin'?

Belavarg: *Whispers in Mike's ear* Go back out there and keep the others busy.

Mike: Yeah. I wanna have a little talk with Pete.

Peter: He's right here...with reinforcements. (He, Micky, Davy, and Valerie hurry backstage) Emma's keeping an eye on the crowd.

Mike: Well, hello there, folks. Fancy meeting you here.

Peter: (Narrows his eyes) Micky, Davy, grab him and get him to Emma. His aura is dark. Dark like mine was when Sheila corrupted me.

Mike: Stop right there, boys! (He concentrates and makes a black light appear around Micky and Davy. When it subsides, Mike holds two kittens, one with curly black fur, one with sleek brown.)

Valerie: Boys!

Peter: Let them go. (Leans over) Val, go get Lauren and Daph from the kitchen.

Valerie: Will do, dear. (She gives Peter a kiss on the nose and hurries out as Peter confronts Mike)

Peter: Michael, what are you doing?

Mike: Removin' a problem. (Turns to Belavarg) How'd you like to experiment on a couple of kittens?

Belavarg: *Grins* Thank you.

Peter: (Suddenly, an arrow shoots overhead and breaks a rope, sending a sandbag down on Belavarg's head) Next time, that'll be something a lot more damaging. Let them go, Michael. You don't know what you're doing.

Mike: Like hell I don't. You're still a pussy cat under that rabid dog coat, Pete. You wouldn't hurt a fly, much less my best friend.

Peter: You're not my best friend, Michael. My best friend wouldn't hurt his two other best friends in the world.

Mike: Maybe he's wonders just how much you'd be willin' to lay down your precious pacifist views and get into a good old-fashioned, dirty brawl with him? (Snorts) Yeah, right. You, Mr. I-can't-bring-myself-to-hurt-ants!

Peter: I don't harm anyone unless I absolutely have to, Michael. I respect all living creatures.

Mike: How about havin' some respect for me? The one you almost drove crazy, just 'cause you got pissed over the damn "Head" soundtrack.

Peter: (Sees something move over his shoulder and grins slightly; turns to Michael) Don't look now, but the calvary's coming.

Mike: Wha... (He doesn't have the time to react before the butt of a dagger with an amethyst handle smacks him over the head. He drops the cats, rubbing his noggin.) Ow! I didn't know how damn hard purple rocks were!

Lauren: Well, now you do!

Mike: Well, hello there, little girl. (Sees Daphne behind her with her Pink Tourmaline Spear) Two little girls. Ain't this special? (Makes his Diamond Sword appear) I could have a lot of fun with you dollies.

Daphne: *To Lauren* Is he serious?

Lauren: *Shrugs* He's obviously not in his right mind.

Peter: (Sees Belavarg going onstage) I'm going after Bela. Girls, you help your boys and stay with Michael until I can get him to Emma. Val went back out there with her to deal with the Devils.

Mike: Stop! (But Lauren and Daphne block him before he can block Peter) Damn it! Bela's gonna kill me!

("Apples, Peaches, Bananas, and Pears" begins as the girls confront Mike. He draws his sword, eyeing both of them.)

Mike: (Over the music) Who wants to take me first?

Lauren: Certainly you can take us both on at the same time.

Mike: (Smirks) Well, you're just girls. Little ones, at that. How hard could it be?

(He puts out his sword, jumping at them immediately.)

*Lauren and Daphne separate. Mike goes sailing between them.*

(Mike lands flat on his face. He gets back up and lunges for Lauren this time, his black eyes flashing.)

*Lauren clocks him again with the handle of her dagger.*

Mike: (Over the music) Ow! (He growls) You've asked for it! (He makes a savage lunge for Lauren, trying to knock her over)

*Daphne trips him up this time.*

Mike: Damn it! Stay still! (He swings at Daphne)

Daphne: Nah!

(Mike lunges for Daphne, knocking both of them through the curtains and onto the stage! They land against Belavarg, who is about to give an award to Lillith. All four go tumbling, just as Peter darts onto the stage. Peter holds Belavarg at bay as Lillith pushes aside, clutching her award for dear life. Mike holds his sword at Daphne's throat.)

*Lauren comes up from behind and clobbers Mike directly on the head. He drops his sword and falls unconscious.*

Peter: (As the music ends; he's confronting Belavarg) Lauren, you and Daph go restore Micky and Davy. Quick, before they get in the audience and try to eat everyone's fish dinners.

*The girls go to gather their men and restore them.*

Peter: (He grabs the microphone as an older, balding gentleman runs onstage) Ladies and gentlemen, don't mind us. We're having technical difficulties...

Sheila: (As we cut to the Devils' table) Technical difficulties, my foot. I think it's time we brought in some help. Don't you think so? (She turns to Zelda and Alex, who have joined her for dinner. Zelda is staring at Alex, who is stuffing his face.) Don't you ever do anything besides eat? I thought you went after the little blond cook.

Zelda: I could get anywhere near him.

Sheila: In that case, we'll definitely need to call the help. (Glares at Alex) If someone has finished his meal. We're supposed to be attacking the man, not sharing recipes.

Alex: I'm attacking his food.

Sheila: You and that stomach. (She concentrates. There's a black light around the room. When it subsides, her demons - ugly, fuzzy, and none-too-bright - appear. They grin at each other and dive into the crowd, grabbing people, throwing people around, and eating off of plates) That's better. Are you sure you're not related to some of them, Alex?

Alex: Thankfully, no.

Peter: (Sees the demons) Oh man. (Micky, Davy, Daphne, and Lauren run onstage) Go handle the demons. Sheila must have decided to just send in the help. I'll handle Belavarg.

(Emma has already run onstage and taken Mike in her arms.)

*Belavarg charges at Peter and collides with him.*

("Long Title: Do I Have To Do This All Over Again?" begins as Belavarg knocks Peter to the stage! The two roll across the stage, Peter trying to keep Belavarg's claws from his neck.)

(Emma pulls Mike away from them. She hauls him into her arms as well as she can and drags him away.)

(Valerie points as some of the demons make their way into the kitchen. Micky, Davy, go help Al!)

*Micky grabs two fists-full of food and heaves it at the demons.*

(It hits two demons straight on. They grab the plates from two surprised women and throw them back at Micky!)

(The other demons all look at each other. Oooh, this looks like fun! Two more grab food from a pair of gentlemen and throw it at Davy, then each other. Two more throw leftover salads at Daphne and Lauren!)

(Peter pushes at Belavarg, trying to reach for his crossbow, which has fallen to the stage.)

(Now, there's food being slung all over the ballroom! Lillith hurries across the room, trying to avoid food and get people to sit down.)

*Lauren and Daphne come up on either side of Lillith and throw pies at her.*

(Lillith ends up being knocked on the ground...until she grabs a pie and fires back!)

(Sheila tries to make her way around the room, but the demons keep knocking into her.)

(Cut back to Peter and Belavarg on the stage as the music ends. Peter pushes at Belavarg as hard as he can.)

Peter: Bela...let...go...

(We get a brief shot of Emma kissing Mike passionately and his eyes fluttering before we cut back to Peter and Belavarg.)

Peter: Bela, the others need me...

Belavarg: Not a chance...

Peter: Damn it, Bela, get off! I have to help the others! I'm in charge...

(Peter's eyes widen as he realizes what he said.)

*Belavarg's face breaks into a wide grin.*

Peter: I...I... (Gulps) Belavarg, it's not what you think.

Belavarg: What do I think?

Peter: Belavarg, I'm not...what I look like.

Mike: No, he's better than that. (Something grabs Belavarg bodily. Two somethings, actually. Mike and Emma pry Belavarg away from Peter) Get your damn claws off of him.

Belavarg: This is not over!

Mike: It is for now. Lay off Al, and tell Lillith Staffer to, too.

Belavarg: Fine.

Mike: Or, (Belavarg is hit with a pie) we'll sic Micky and Davy on you. (Sees a pie-covered Micky and Davy coming towards them) Nice shot, guys.

Micky: Thanks.

Mike: (To Belavarg) Why don't you go find your lady friend and tell her Al ain't interested, and we can finish this little party?

Peter: (Turns to Mike) Michael, are you all right? Your aura isn't quite you yet.

Mike: I'm fine, Pete. Just fine. (They follow the others to the main room. Most of the guests are standing on tables, have fled, or are joining in the rapidly-ending food fight. Lauren, Daphne, and Valerie tie the demons together with tablecloths.)

Peter and Mike: (In unison) Nice work, guys! (They look at each other and laugh.)

Sheila: Oooh! (She runs up to them, covered in cake) Look at what you've done to my new dress!

Mike: Where's Zelda and Alex?

Sheila: Probably wherever that little cook is.

Lillith: (She storms up to them) WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Al: *Joins the group, none too happy and also covered in assorted foods* I'll TELL you what's going on here. I am NOT interested in any deals with you, and I'm not doing any more JOBS for you, either! *Storms away. In the distance the band's lead singer hands him a towel to help clean off.*

Lillith: (Goes after Al) So catering my next reception for my new chicken pot pie is out of the question? (Mike shakes his head as she runs off)

Mike: Man, that chick don't take "no" for an answer.

Sheila: Neither do we. Don't think this is over, White Knight. We will get all eight of you, mark my words.

Mike: (Crosses his arms) When pies fly.

Emma: Shut up, Sheila. (She hits Sheila in the face with a pie. She screams and runs after Lillith)

*Micky, Davy, Lauren, and Daphne all launch pies at the Devils and Belavarg.*

(We fade out as the others watch the Devils and Demons retreat from the pie onslaught and the rest of the room continues to throw food at each other.)