Ok, are all the gentlemen ready for a real manly barbecue?

Mike: After all that fluffy little girl stuff yesterday, yes.

Peter: Sounds macho.

Micky: Better believe it.

Davy: Ready, mates.

(We open on the grounds of what looks like the sprawling woods behind Belavarg's castle. Actually, it's the same outdoor woods set used for "Monkees Marooned" and several "Dream World" stories set in parks. Al and Mike set up a large barbecue just outside of an elaborate Victorian-style picnic pavilion. Peter and Davy set up checked tablecloths and western-style centerpieces with cacti and flowers.)

*Micky is standing by, whistling innocently and bouncing lightly on his heels, even as he hungrily eyes the food.*

Peter: (He carries a box of what he reveals to be potato salad with a light vinaigrette dressing) Micky, stay out of the food. Miss Staffer is inviting a lot of guests to this big barbecue. We're going to need enough for everyone.

Mike: Yeah, man. Why don't you do somethin' constructive instead? We'll get somethin' to eat on the way home.

Micky: I haven't gotten into anything yet.

Mike: I saw the way you were eyein' Al's Mile-High Apple Pie.

Micky: I'm only eyeing it.

Mike: Keep it that way. (Sniffs at the barbecue) I think that's just about ready. Mick, why don't you get Al's secret barbecue sauce?

Micky: I'm on it! *heads off to get it*

Mike: (Sighs as he brings ribs and chicken to Al) Al, the girls told you what happened yesterday at the tea party, right? They said you were in the kitchen for most of it.

Al: Yes, because I was trying to hide from Zelda.

Mike: She's really gone about you, ain't she?

Al: Unfortunately.

Mike: (Makes a face) I did some research after Em told me yesterday that the Devils were sprung from prison. Guess who paid to get them out?

Al: Who?

Mike: Damion Lensher...aka Belavarg, the guy who drugged your food at the Staffer party the other night.

Al: Well, that's just great.

Mike: And... (he looks up...and mutters) Damn. Here comes trouble. Al, you might want to make yourself scarce somehow.

Al: *looks around, then realizes* Where? I can't exactly turn invisible or cram myself into some tiny hole.

Mike: I could shrink you and hide you somewhere.

Al: I'll take a rain check on that, Mike.

(Sheila, Alex, Zelda, and Lillith Staffer troop over to the pavilion. Sheila and Lillith wear impeccable western-style shorts, jeans, boots, and cowboy hats.)

Sheila: Well, hello there, Mr. Nesmith. Fancy meeting you here. I thought you ran a music company, not a food company.

Mike: (Narrows his eyes) I'm helpin' a friend. What are you doin' here?

Sheila: I was invited!

Lillith: Ms. Saunders and I have some things to discuss regarding our companies.

Sheila: Zelda and Alex would so like to talk to your friend the cook! Zelda thinks his food is just marvelous!

Zelda: *Nods* Mm-hmm.

Sheila: Why don't I just leave you two alone to get to know one another? (Leans over Zelda) You distract the cook while Alex and I work on the guests.

*Zelda grins, nodding again.*

Mike: No way, man! Al's gotta cook!

Sheila: Alex, why don't you and Mr. Nesmith have an, um, nice chat?

Alex: I'd love to.

*Alex grabs Mike's arm and tugs him away from the gathering.*

Mike: (As Alex pulls them into a clearing between trees) Alex, what are you doin'?

Alex: Getting you out of our way.

Mike: Yeah, well, I have work to do. The guys can't set up that barbecue by themselves. Not to mention, Al really ain't thrilled with your girlfriend hangin' off of him.

Alex: So?

Mike: So, I gotta go back, an' you can't stop me. (He pushes past Alex and starts for the woods)

*There's a flash of black light around Mike.*

Mike: (He's now tied to a tree with heavy rope) Damn it! (He struggles) Alex, let me go! They're gonna wonder where I am!

Alex: Why would I tie you up, then let you go? That makes no sense.

Mike: They'll kick your ass, Alex. (Smirks) That'll look real interestin' in front of Lillith Staffer an' all those people.

(Mike closes his eyes and tries to concentrate.)

*Alex reaches over and rubs Mike's neck.*

(Mike's eyes widen. He blinks his eyes and tries to fight the feeling of languor and calm that washes over him...but when he opens his eyes, they're clouded. He whimpers and nudges Alex's hand.)

Mike: No...friends...gotta get out... (He howls)

Alex: *Rolls his eyes* Always the same damn thing.

(Mike growls and lunges for Alex, teeth bared! He lets out a nasty growl.)

Mike: You...bad...stop...get away...

(Mike tries to lunge for Alex, but he strokes his head like a dog, then leans over and whispers in his ear.)

Alex: Be a good boy and behave. If you do, I'll give you a treat.

Mike: (Whimpers) No...not dog...don't...

(But Alex scratches him behind the ears, then on the stomach. Mike pants and howls, his eyes glazing over.)

Mike: I...good...treat?

(Mike nudges Alex's hand again.)

Mike: Want...treat...

Micky: *As he arrives* What the hell's going on here!?

Mike: (Looks up) M...micky...h...help...

Micky: That's what I intend to do, Mike.

Mike: He...ooohh! (Alex rubs his neck again, then takes firm grip on his collar) Miicckkk... (He howls)

Micky: Leave him alone, Alex! *He and Alex start slapping at each other*

Mike: (Rolls away, confused) Wha...Mick...

(Mike howls again, then shakes his head, trying to clear it.)

Mike: Mi...Mick, you ok?

*Alex finally gives Micky a shove and leaves. Micky goes tumbling and lands facing up at the sky.*

Micky: Just peachy.

Mike: (Shakes his head to try to clear it as Micky unties him) Alex...he tried to...confuse me.

Micky: I figured he was up to something, the way he hauled you back here.

Mike: (As Micky helps him to his feet) Is Al ok? I know Zelda's crazy about him.

Micky: *Guilty look* I lost track of him when I went after you and Alex.

Mike: We'd better get back there. Pete n' Davy are doin' everythin' alone, too. The guests have to be there by now.

(Cut to the pavilion. Yes, guests have arrived, mostly men milling around the picnic area, throwing a softball around, or tossing horseshoes. Lillith and Sheila appear in a very deep discussion about something. Zelda has pushed Al onto a chair near the horeshoe grounds and is snuggling against him.)

*Al tries to reason with Zelda, hoping to talk her off of him.*

(Suddenly, a slender, familiar hand reaches out and plucks Zelda off of Al by the collar.)

Mike: (Shakes her a little) Didn't I tell you to find somethin' constructive to do, kiddo?

Zelda: What do you THINK I was doing!?

Micky: *Folds his arms* Invading personal space, I'd say.

Al: *Sighs* No kidding.

Mike: Zelda, go do somethin' that ain't in his personal space. (Narrows his eyes) Or I'll turn your female part into stone.

*Zelda frowns and mutters as she leaves. Mike and Micky arrive back at the tent where the party has started.*

Peter: (He and Davy hurry over to them) Where have you been? Michael, your aura is ragged and tired. Are you ok?

Mike: No. Alex attacked me.

Micky: Fortunately, I saw where they'd gone and was able to get to Mike in time.

Peter: Good work, Micky. We'll have to keep a closer eye on each other and on the guests. If what happened with the girls' tea party yesterday was any indication, the Devils are in on the sabotage with Belavarg and Lillith.

Mike: That's probably why Bela busted them out in the first place.

Peter: Michael, are you sure you're ok?

Mike: (Sighs) As well as I'm gonna get, Pete. I ain't gonna jump on anybody, if that's what you mean.

Peter: Still, Michael...

Mike: I'll be ok, Pete. You don't need to Mother Hen me. (Turns to Davy) Has Al gotten the steaks on the grill yet?

Davy: Yeah, he's working on them now.

Mike: Micky, go see if he needs a hand. Make sure Zelda stays well away from him.

Micky: On my way.

Mike: Dave, you and Alex serve guests. Make sure he stays away from the food. I don't want any of his chemicals poisonin' guests or turning them into frogs or somethin'. We had enough of that the other night. Alex can help with the horseshoes game. Maybe one will clonk him on the head.

Davy: If we're lucky. ;)

Peter: I'll see if I can listen in on Lillith and Sheila's conversation. Nothing good can come of that. I don't think either of them have much interest in me. (Rueful grin) In fact, I think Sheila's still a little afraid of me after what happened a few years ago.

Mike: It wouldn't surprise me, Pete.

("Papa Gene's Blues" begins as the Monkees split to their respective assignments. Mike makes the rounds of the party, talking to men and making contacts.)

(Peter serves the table closest to Lillith and Sheila, who sit at a small table near the grill. He's trying to hear what they're saying without being obvious...)

*Davy and Alex serve the guests, thought Alex is more intent on chatting up the ladies.*

(Mike gets in front of Zelda and steers her away from Al again. Why don't you go drool over the guys playing horseshoes?)

(Sheila excuses herself and walks past Peter, over to Zelda. She takes the young woman's arm. We're here to cause trouble, not to drool over the help. Go help Alex make holes in the ground where the guests can fall in.)

*Zelda pouts, but nods and heads off to find Alex.*

(Sheila concentrates. There's a black light under the horseshoes crowd. When it subsides, a man retrieving his horseshoe walks right into a hole. He pops back up, dazed.)

(Lillith looks up...then smirks and returns to her beans. Good. As long as no one is badly hurt, they can do what they want. She wants Al to sell.)

(There's a black light around a horseshoe thrower. The horseshoe somehow turns around like a boomerang and knocks him on the ground!)

(There's a black light around one man eating beans with a few other guys. He lets out an...improper noise from his rear end. The guys with him think it's hilarious and asks him to do it again, and louder!)

(Mike sees Zelda sneaking over to Al and Micky again and follows her.)

*Zelda tries to jump at Al, but lands in one of the holes!*

(Mike smirks and turns back to Al to get the next round of steaks.)

(One of the men try to grab at Sheila's rear. She slaps his hand away and narrows her eyes at him. As he turns around, rolling his eyes and grumbling about how stupid she's being, she concentrates. There's a black light around him...and he's now covered in ants! He screams and runs for the nearest duck pond to wash them off. Mike and Peter wince and pull away as the guy runs past.)

(Another man tries to hit on Zelda.)

*Zelda introduces the man to some poison ivy. He also runs to the duck pond.*

(A group of men are drinking beer from the tap and laughing and singing rude songs. They're also drowning out Sheila's conversation with Lillith. Sheila concentrates. There's a light around the men. When it subsides, they can no longer talk. They all gasp and try to figure out why they can't speak anymore. Mike growls; Peter elbows him.)

(One big guy pushes past Alex and over to Micky and Al. Hey boys, can I have more steak? Alex lands in a puddle near the grill area!)

(There's a light around the man. When it subsides, he has a tail and a set of horns! He goes off to the yard to graze.)

Mike: (Growls again as the song ends) We've gotta get rid of those Devils, or there won't be any party guests left!

Peter: Michael, getting angry won't help anything.

Mike: Oh yeah?

Peter: (Grins at the other three) Maybe it's time we called in the...ahem...special forces. (When Al turns his back) Our powers, guys. Time for the Guardians to make their appearance.

(Cut back to the party. Sheila turns to Alex and Zelda, smirking.)

Sheila: I need a way to...persuade Lillith to sell Dark Star to me. She says it's fine the way it is. Perhaps we could do something with all these...ahem, lovely gentlemen. If they're so fond of horseshoes, why don't we show them some REAL horseshoes? Zelda, you concentrate on the cook. Maybe you can have a nice ride on him.

(Sheila concentrates. Suddenly, the horseshoes grow bigger. They all seem to turn around at once and attack the men!)

(The fire from the grill even leaps up and starts jumping at a man's rear end. He runs away, dashing for the lake again.)

(That's when we see a blue light...and four figures flying in the sky! The four Monkees, now wearing their MonkeeLeague eight-button uniforms, land in the middle of the party. Peter ducks a flying horseshoe as big as his head!)

Peter: (Bad southern accent) Land's sakes! That clean nearly took my head off! What's goin' on here?

*Zelda has departed to chase after Al.*

Mike: (Heavier Texas accent) Looks like lil' ol' party crashers to me. (Turns to Davy) You put out the fire under that poor fellow's biscuits. You (turns to Micky) melt them lil' horseshoes into somethin' useful. You (turns to Peter) see if you can restore the voices on those fellas with the beer. (Sees Zelda going after Al) And I'll handle that lil' lady who just can't take "no" for an answer.

(Peter concentrates. There's a blue light around the men with the beer. When it subsides, they can all speak again.)

*Davy freezes the fire.*

*Micky melts the horseshoes into one huge one.*

(Mike flies over Zelda chasing Al. He scoops her into his arms and drops her in the lake, next to the two guys getting rid of poison ivy and ants!)

Mike: (He lands in front of Sheila) You've been defeated, Devil Woman! We'll not have more of your trickery here!

Sheila: (Rolls her eyes) Can the comic book silliness, White Knight. I know who you are.

Lillith: I don't. What is this? What do you people think you're doing, breaking into my party like this?

Mike: Only doin' our duty, ma'am. (He turns to the others) We'd better go, my good men. (He turns to Al, who has run over to them, and whispers) Do you think you'll be able to finish the party alone? We'll come back after Lillith leaves to help you clean up. I think the women are onto us.

Al: *Nods; whispers back* I'll be fine, thanks.

Mike: Ok, then. (Out loud) Guardians, awaaaaayyyy! (They all take off into the sky)

Man #1: Who were those masked dudes?

Lillith: (Makes a face) Well, whomever they are, they aren't allowed at my parties anymore, if they're going to cause trouble like that!

Sheila: You mean you don't...you didn't... (Looks at Al) Tell her who they really are!

Al: *Shrugs* The Guardians.

Sheila: (Throws her hands in the air) AAARRRGGGH!

(We end with a shot of all four guys in the sky as they take off for home...waving cheekily at Sheila, Al, and the party from below.)