Are all of the little and big ladies ready for a tea party?

Valerie: I am.

Emma: I am, naturally.

Lauren: I am.

Daphne: Me too.

(We open in the parking lot of the Los Angeles County Jail. Sheila, Alex, and Zelda jump into a large black Mercades. Belavarg, in his human form, is in the driver's seat.)

Sheila: (Tosses her bag in the back) Thanks for bailing us out, you old reprobate.

Belavarg: Not a problem.

Sheila: So, why did you want us back on the streets? I would have thought you'd enjoy being the only evil creature left on the surface.

Belavarg: I need help. I can't get all of them to the dark side.

Sheila: (Makes a face) The Guardians, I mean. Quite frankly, I've had enough of them. We've chased them for centuries and barely gotten close to getting them all back! Every time we try to grab all of them, they just gang up on us.

Belavarg: What if I told you I have a way to get to those ancestors, especially Sir Robert.

Sheila: (Her breath quickens) Sir Robert? But they...we lost their souls, and we've never been able to recover them...

Belavarg: You kept trying too fast. You have to wear them down gradually, then bring them back the same way.

Sheila: And I suppose you've figured out a way to do that.

Belavarg: Of course.

Sheila: I'm glad you have. We've all been trying to think of ways to get back at those little pains and get their souls, but we've come up with nothing. (Looks over her shoulder at Zelda in the back seat) When some of us aren't obsessing over nerdy cooks.

*Zelda just grins and shrugs.*

Belavarg: I want the three of you to use your powers at the caterer's parties. My potions are too easily detected.

Sheila: What do I look like, a bloody waitress? I give parties. I don't serve at them.

Belavarg: All we need to do is wear them down. Zelda, I'm sure you'd be willing to help just to get close to that caterer.

Zelda: I'm in!

Sheila: What about you, Alex?

Alex: *Shrugs* Yeah, sure.

Sheila: (Sighs) Oh, all right. I guess I'm in, too. (Makes a face) But I'm not cooking. I'm a terrible cook.

Belavarg: *Sighs* You don't have to cook or be wait staff.

Sheila: (Crosses her arms) You bet I don't. I'll be the hostess.

Belavarg: Of course.

Sheila: What's the first party we'll be doing?

Belavarg: It's a tea party.

Sheila: (Shrugs) I can handle that. I've been to hundreds of tea parties.

Alex: *Nods* Let’s wreck a party.

(We fade out as the Mercedes takes the ramp to Malibu Beach that was last seen in "The Rain, the Ark, and Other Things." Fade in on what would appear to be the tea room set from "Pirates of Malibu Beach." Some of the more exotic trappings have been replaced with floral chintz tablecloths, wicker chairs with pillows tied with huge bows, and lacy drapes. The room is now painted in pastels. Valerie and Lauren set out silverware and china. Leah and Lizzie set fancy lace fans and tiny bouquets of roses by each place.)

Valerie: This is going to be a lovely tea party! The children will have so much fun.

(Emma comes out with a plate of finger sandwiches shaped like bears and horses, sliced vegetables, and delicate butter cookies with lemony icing.)

Emma: Here's the treats! Al's working on the petites fours and molded mint ice cream. (Sets the plates down and turns to the little girls) And how are the young ladies doing? (She smiles at their work) You did very well, ladies! Everything seems to be where all of the mommies and kids can get them!

Valerie: (Takes the trays from Emma) Thanks, Em. The guests should be arriving soon.

Emma: I'm just glad Micky and Davy agreed to take the boys and the other kids when they get home from school.

Valerie: Lauren, maybe you should go see if Al needs help with the tea and the lemonade. He has a lot on his plate, so to speak.

Lauren: I'll be right back.

(Lauren heads for the kitchen. As soon as she disappears through the swinging doors, the three Devils enter the room. Emma's eyes widen. Valerie pulls Leah close to her; Emma takes Lizzie.)

Sheila: Well, look what we have here. A mother and brat reunion. How sweet.

Emma: What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in jail?

Sheila: We're out on good behavior, Scholar.

Emma: On what planet?

Sheila: A friend recommended us to help here.

Emma: We don't need your help.

Sheila: (Shakes her head) This looks like it's going to be a very big tea party. You'll need lots of servers and hostesses for the occasion.

Emma: We can find better ones than you.

Sheila: Why don't we ask the man in charge if he needs more help? Zelda can do that.

Emma: I'm sure he doesn't...

Zelda: Yeah! Where is he?

Emma: I don't think that's a good idea...

Valerie: (Sighs) He's in the kitchen.

Sheila: Zelda, why don't you and Alex lend your expertise to the kitchen staff? I'll help with hostessing duties.

Zelda: Come on! *grabs Alex's hand and drags him into the kitchen*

*Within moments, there's a yelp from the kitchen.*

Emma: I'm going to check on them. Valerie, you keep an eye on Sheila and the girls. This could get ugly.

Valerie: (Takes the little girls' hands) With pleasure.

*We cut to the kitchen, which is now total chaos. Everyone talks at the same time. Zelda is trying to get into Al's lap, despite the fact that he's standing. Lauren finally lets out a two-fingered whistle to get everyone's attention, just as Emma enters.*

Emma: What in the HELL is going on here?

Lauren: That's what I'd like to know!

Zelda: *Grins, hanging off of Al* I'm just here to visit.

Emma: Could you let the poor man go, please, and possibly make some use of yourself? The kids and their mothers will be here any minute, and he can't cook like that.

Al: Not to mention I can't breathe...

Valerie: (Pokes her head in) The kids are beginning to arrive!

Emma: Alex, here. (She hands him a tray) Play waiter and deliver these tea sandwiches to the kids and their mothers. And don't you dare eat any! (Turns to Daphne) Why don't you and Lauren join your daughters? Val and I can take over from here. (Leans over Daphne and whispers) And you can keep an eye on things out there. I have no idea what's going on, but if the devils are here, they're up to no good. I don't know how they got out of prison, but they have to be up to something.

Daphne: *nods* You got it.

Emma: Zelda, instead of ravishing the cook, why don't you go help Sheila greet guests instead? I'll stay with Al.

(Al mouths "thank you.")

Zelda: What if I don't want to?

Emma: I'll shrink you and drop you in the soup. (Smirks) Or you can handle the little kids.

Zelda: Couldn't I just sit in the corner and gaze longingly, instead of dealing with the rugrats?

Emma: We need all the help we can get, Zelda. If you're going to be here, everyone has to do something useful. Staring longingly is not useful.

Zelda: *Folds her arms* So?

Emma: Why don't you go help Alex serve? (She directs Zelda out the door)

Zelda: Awwww!

Al: Thank you, Emma. She never would've left otherwise.

Emma: That's why I shooed her out. We would have never gotten anything done. (Sighs) Are the petit fours and ice cream ready? The guests are here.

Al: Yes, every thing's all set.

Emma: Then let's bring out the cake, before the devils do something ugly. I have the feeling they aren't here to be neighborly.

Daphne: Let’s.

Emma: (As she, Al, and Daphne roll the cake out) Not only do we need to make sure nothing happens, but I'd really like to know what's going on here. Who DID let these guys out of jail? I thought they had a twenty-year sentence!

Daphne: Someone must have paid the bail.

Emma: Yeah, but who has that kind of money? Their bail was pretty steep. Maybe one of Sheila's vice-presidents?

Daphne: Good question...

Emma: Just keep your eyes peeled. I don't want them hurting all these kids, either. (Nods to indicate the little girls dressed in their ruffled finest and their elegantly-dressed mothers sitting at tables around the room) And I think your daughter is waiting for you. Val and I will take over from here. My daughter's in school, and Val only has boys.

(Lizzie waves to her mommy.)

("Saturday's Child" begins as Daphne goes over to Lizzie. She sits in the empty chair between her and Lauren. Lizzie grins up at her mother. I saved you a seat, Mommy!)

(Sheila leads mothers and children to their seats. She makes a face as the little girls yell and squeal and talk amongst themselves. So noisy!)

(Emma pokes her head out of the kitchen and hands Zelda bowls of ice cream to give out before she can peek in on Al and unnerve him.)

(Sheila exchanges looks with Alex as he passes her. She's bored. It's time to have a little fun with this silly party.)

*Alex nods. Definitely.*

(Sheila concentrates. Suddenly, all of the petit fours turn into white mice. Some of the mothers jump on chairs. Others scream or gag. Most of the little girls, however, clap in delight. Ooh, magic, and it brought cute animals!)

*Alex turns some of the utensils into white bunnies.*

(Emma sees the mice and runs back in the kitchen. There's a blue light in the kitchen...and she comes back out with mouse traps and cages for the rabbits.)

(The bunnies don't go as far as the mice, who are now scurrying all over the tea room. Some of the little girls happily pet the rabbits. They don't annoy the mothers as much, either. Those who aren't standing on their chairs show their daughters how to hold and treat the bunnies, and even feed them sliced vegetables.)

(Emma tries to put out mouse traps, but not only do the mice dodge them...but there's little girls chasing the mice, and mothers chasing the little girls!)

(There are now children and adults running all over the tea room. Little girls tote rabbits, or feed them the remains of the veggie trays. Other little girls chase mice, following Emma. A mother takes one look at the mouse her daughter shoves in her face and faints! The little girl shrugs and shows her friend instead.)

(Sheila makes a face at Zelda and Alex. Those bloody brats aren't supposed to be ENJOYING this! Do something!)

*Zelda makes a cat appear and smirks.*

(The cat goes after the mice...which squeal and run in all directions! Now everything's chaos. The cat runs under and over tables and through food. He scares the bunnies, who try to hop away. Some of the little girls go after their new pets. Others chase the cat. Some are still chasing the mice. Emma tries to set up mouse traps...and every time she does, she sees another mouse being chased by another little girl.)

(Valerie and Al finally come out with the ice cream as the music ends.)

Valerie: (Her eyes widen at the scene before them) What in the he... (remembers the little girls) ...heck is going on?

Emma: Get more mouse traps! And catch that cat! (She points to the cat, which is chasing a mouse under the table where Lizzie and Leah are. The two girls giggle and clap as the clever mouse ducks away.)

Sheila: Blast it! Zelda, that was a ridiculous idea! The children aren't supposed to be having fun!

Valerie: I thought that was the whole point of this.

Lizzie: (Looks at Leah) I'm havin' the best time ever! Whadda 'bout you?

Leah: Me too!

Emma: I'm glad you are, but we have to get rid of these animals!

Lizzie: Why? They're cute!

Sheila: Because...aack! (The cat has doubled back towards them...right in line with the cart filled with bowls of ice cream!) Stop! Don't! Desist!

(Al and Valerie have enough sense to get out of the way before the mice run up Sheila's pant leg...and the cat runs under the ice cream cart and up Sheila's peasant blouse! More mice run for Alex and Zelda. The little girls all run past them, chasing their bunnies. The rabbits are the ones who finally overturn the ice cream cart on the Devils! Sheila's now hopping up and down, trying to get the mice out of her shirt and covered with strawberry ice cream.)

Sheila: Alex, I don't know how, but this is all your fault! Zelda, you too!

Lizzie: (Points to Sheila) The Bad Lady looks silly!

Little Girl #1: She does!

(All the little girls who aren't chasing animals turn where Lizzie points and laugh, too. Some of the mothers snicker. Emma giggles.)

Sheila: (Jumps around) Ooh...damn mice... (She turns to Zelda) You and your stupid obsession with that stupid cook! Everything is your faults! You and Alex!

(Sheila finally jumps on a puddle of ice cream and finds herself on her rear end on the floor. The cat runs over her, chasing a rabbit.)

Sheila: ALEX!!!

Zelda: *Pouts* Why can't I ever get what I want?!

Sheila: I don't want to hear it. This isn't how I planned on spending my first day out of prison! Alex!!!

Alex: What!?

Sheila: Stop this! Do something! I blame you for everything!

Alex: Me? I didn't do anything.

Sheila: You're here! That's enough!

(But the sound of laughter - from the mothers, children, and wait staff - drowns out the devils' bickering. Zelda whines. Sheila keeps yelling at Alex, who yells back. We fade out on the scene of little girls chasing animals, cuddling rabbits...and the cat making one last jump over Sheila's lap.)

Sheila: (As we fade to black) I HATE ANIMALS AND I HATE TEA PARTIES AND I HATE CHILDREN!!!!!!!