So, everyone ready for a trip to Mighty World?

Mike: What the hell.

Micky: Definitely!

Davy: Sure.

(We open with the guys almost literally leaping into Ursula as "Heart and Soul" begins.)

Mike: (Over the music as he gets in the driver's seat and tosses the food behind him) Urse, step on it! We've gotta go!

*Micky settles in the passenger side while Davy dives in the back again.*

Ursula: Leaving so soon? I didn't think you were in THAT much of a hurry to get to Mighty World.

Mike: Well, we are now. Just move it!

Micky: Yeah, we kinda don't have a choice!

Ursula: I... (But as Ursula protests, we hear the sounds of huge trucks starting their engines. All four boys look behind them and see men piling into trucks and big-rigs with very big wheels) Um, I think we'd better leave.

Mike: Yeah, no kiddin'. (Mike steps on the gas as hard as he can. The MonkeeMobile almost literally leaps onto the highway, followed by the trucks at full speed!)

Davy: Man, Mick, we could really use some of that invisibility paint of yours right about now!

Micky: Me, too! I wish I hadn't use it all up!

Mike: Mick, tell me what some of these buttons do! (Suddenly, we hear a THUD! One of the smaller trucks is trying to ram into the back of the MonkeeMobile) NOW!

Ursula: Ouch! Blasted overgrown creature has no manners! X(

Micky: *points* Press that one!

Mike: All right...

(He does press the button. A huge wad of something pink blows out of the back of the MonkeeMobile. The balloon-like wad keeps getting bigger and bigger...until the truck hits it and it pops all over the truck's front! The truck can't see and drives off the road!)

Mike: All right!

Micky: I knew you'd like that one.

Ursula: Here come more! (Another truck tries to get them from the side)

Mike: Your turn, Mick. Pick somethin' good.

*Micky pushes a button. Shredded multi-colored paper spits out the back of the MonkeeMobile, minimizing visibility.*

(Two trucks drive off the road and into each other.)

Mike: Ya know, I kinda like these car chases. This is better than "Bullitt."

(One of the men leans into Mike's side of the car. He switches to autopilot and tries to shove the man away.)

*Davy presses a button, causing a boxing glove to appear from the side of the car behind the driver's door. The glove punches the man, knocking him away.*

Mike: (As he takes the wheel back) Thanks, Dave.

Ursula: (Looks behind her) There's still more of them!

Mike: (Grins) I know how to get rid of them. (He pulls up in front of a large red-and-yellow billboard for their latest special)

Mike: Guys, duck down! (They do so. When they duck, the car blends in perfectly with the sign...so perfectly, the trucks pass it by!)

Mike: (As the boys look up again) Whew! That was a close one.

Ursula: Would you mind telling me what this is all about now?

Mike: Just a couple of sore losers.

Ursula: Are you still going to Mighty World, or do you want to call it a day after that? I know funds are getting rather tight...

Mike: You guys up for the fun park?

Micky: After this? I think we NEED it!

*Davy nods, leaning between the front seats.*

Mike: Ok. I think the ramp for Mighty World is comin' up.

Micky: Great! Gun it!

(Mike does so. They head back on the highway. We get more highway shots, including stock shots from the first season that show obviously younger guys and include Peter. The MonkeeMobile passes a sign that says "Mighty World, Next Ramp." Mike turns on the ramp, and we cut to a shot of the guys turning into the back end of a very big and very empty parking lot.)

Mike: (Frowns as he gets out) This is weird. It's past noon. Why ain't there anybody here?

Micky: *eyes widen* Oh no...

Davy: I 'ate to be the bearah of bad news, but...

Micky: *clamps a hand over Davy's mouth* If you don't say it, then it might not be true!

Mike: (Sniffs) I don't smell any of the typical park stuff. No food, no exhaust from the cars and rides.

Mike: (Sighs) Maybe we'd better go check.

Micky: *shake his head* No, no, it CAN'T be c...c... *runs for the gate*

Davy: Mick!

Mike: Oh man... (He goes after him, not running but still moving pretty quick, with Davy following behind. Micky finally makes it up to the gates...but they are, indeed, closed. He gets around them and goes up to a large plastic cartoon mouse in a yellow cape and construction gear holding a sign.)

Mike: (Puffs as he and Davy finally catch up to Micky) Man Mick, did you run marathons in your former life?

Davy: I think...'e did...

*Micky is kneeling at the closed gates, hands on the wrought iron, sobbing like a two-year-old.*

Mike: Mick? (Looks up at the large mouse) What in the HECK...

Davy: Wot? *leans forward and pushes a button on the mouse's chest*

Mouse: Sorry, but Mighty World is closed for two weeks, so we can clean and repair America's favorite family park! Have a nice day! Sorry!

Mike: (Growls) Sorry my ass! X(

(Mike hits the mouse right in the nose, severely distorting the poor plastic creature's face.)

Mike: (Growls louder) Assholes! Damn! I can't BELIEVE this! (He helps Micky to his feet.) Come on, Mick. Let's go. We're gonna have to do somethin' else. We can still backtrack and see the second largest house made out of mud.

Micky: *sniffing* But...but...

Mike: Micky, it ain't open. There's nothin' we can do. I shoulda called ahead when I made the plans to come out here.

Micky: *whirls on Mike* NO! *pulls away and runs back, shaking the wrought iron gates and looking for any way to gain access*

Davy: This isn't good.

Mike: Micky, cut it out! The place ain't open, and we can't MAKE it open. What are you gonna do, hold up the security guards?

Micky: *lower lip quivering* If there WERE any security guards TO hold up!

Mike: They're probably all inside, makin' sure desperate jerks like us don't get IN.

Micky: *sobbing* I'M GOING IN! *turns and runs at the gate, which he grabs onto and actually climbs*

Davy: *slaps his forehead* 'E's lost it.

Mike: Oh shit. (Looks around, then turns to Davy) No one around. Let's imagine ourselves in. Hopefully, we'll be able to get Micky OUT before any guards find him and we have to explain what we're doin' here.

Davy: *nods* And it'll be easiah than climbing.

*Micky drops to the ground on the other side of the gate, a sad smile appearing on his face.*

(At the same time, there's a blue light on the other side of the park. Mike and Davy appear after the light fades.)

Mike: Let's split up. I think we can get away with it here. This is the last place the devils will be. The first person to find Mick calls the other on their communicator.

Davy: *nods* Deal. Let’s find that overgrown four-year-old.

Mike: And give him a good whack in the ass when we do. ("Don't Bring Me Down" begins as the two spread out, avoiding security guards while looking for Mick.)

(Mike peers around a corner. No one around, but no Mick, either. He starts ahead...and runs right into a HUGE face! He turns and runs away before he realizes the face is his own, magnified on a wavy mirror. His reflection turns to the camera and shrugs.)

*Micky rides the giant swings.*

(Mike bounces above the security guards on an inflatable bouncy castle, looking for Mick.)

(Davy wanders over to the games area. He's looking in the booths - some opened and being cleaned, some closed - for Mick. He sees two security guards and jumps behind an open booth. As the guards pass the booth, we see Davy hidden among the stuffed Heckles, Jeckles, and Mighty Mice.)

*Davy passes over the bridge crossing the log ride, just as a log descends, splashing and soaking Davy. Micky's screams of joy can be heard.*

(The guards wander past another booth, where Mike sells corn dogs and popcorn in Peter's ice cream man-coat from "Success Story" in the original show.)

*Micky drives around in the bumper cars, bumping into the stationary cars.*

(Mike walks into the funhouse, looking for Micky. He walks across the straight floor that suddenly becomes bumpy, knocking him off his feet. He crawls through a tunnel that starts turning around. He's so dizzy when he gets off of that, he trips over the intentionally uneven staircase and nearly falls right out of the "Shaking Shack" exit. He's too disoriented to notice the two men working on the ride's gears who didn't realize there was someone in it...or the cops who see him bumping into things. Mike bumps right into Davy, almost knocking HIM over before he continues onward.)

*Micky goes up in one of the bi-planes.*

(Mike goes up on the Condor. He spies Micky and tries to climb out...before he jumps right back in, remembering he's about 30 feet off the ground and climbing around in an amusement park ride is NOT a good idea.)

*Micky turns and waves to Mike.*

(Mike growls and tries futilely to reach for Mick.)

(Davy rejoins Mike as the Condor descends and the music ends.)

Mike: I found him, Davy. He's by the Bi-Planes.

Davy: Figures.

Mike: Let's catch up with him, before the security guards catch up with ALL of us. I saw a couple by the food stands.

(Cut to the Bi-Planes. Micky's just climbing off as Mike and Davy run over to him.)

Mike: Micky! Come on buddy, we've gotta get the HELL outta here! I saw a couple of guards by the food booths. If they catch us here, they'll arrest us for tresspassin', or worse!

Micky: No way! I'm having a blast!

Davy: *turns to Mike with a raised eyebrow* I think 'e's gone bloody crackahs.

Mike: (Grabs Micky's arm) Didja hear me? WE'RE TRESSPASSIN'! That's a punishable offense, buddy! We'll come back here another time, when it's actually open!

*Micky's lower lip quivers again, but he doesn't say anything.*

Mike: Mick, come on!

Davy: Bloody 'ell. Wot is that mattah with 'im?

Mike: Aw buddy, don't do that. We could come back when it's really open.

*Micky sniffs, but tries to hold off the actual tears.*

Davy: I think that 'elped a little.

Mike: Come on, Mick. Let's go eat that lunch we got from the diner, before it gets cold... (But just then, we hear a roar. The guys look up as a roller coaster goes up a steep incline and back down again.)

Micky: *points and yells* COASTER!

Davy: *groans* Oh no.

Mike: Micky... (But Micky has already taken off again. Mike and Davy chase after him...not noticing a security guard around a corner speak into his walkie-talkie. Mike and Davy catch up with Micky as the roller coaster returns to the entrance.)

Mike: (Puffing) Mick...come on...guards are gonna get us...

*Micky gives them a deadly glare before turning back and climbing into one of the cars of the coaster.*

Mike: Mick, wait! (He climbs into the seat next to him; Davy gets in behind him. He turns to Micky as the car begins up the track) Micky, have you lost your mind?

*Davy groans behind them.*

Micky: *turns to Mike with a fire in his eyes* We are on vacation. I wanted to have some fun. I WASN'T haven't fun. We got here. Here was CLOSED! I NEEDED some FUN!

*Davy lets out a low whistle.*

Mike: And we HAVEN'T been havin' fun?

Micky: *frowns* Everything's gone wrong! Then we get here and it's closed!

Mike: But....YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! (The car finally goes down the first big dip. The guys spend the rest of the ride screaming. Micky and Mike end up grabbing onto each other. As the guys continue the ride, we cut to the entrance. A large group of security guards, all of them armed, gather around the ride. The ride finally comes to a stop. Mike, Micky, and Davy all climb out, laughing and chattering...and not noticing the crowd.)

Guard 1: (He and his men all point guns at the boys) Freeze! What are you boys doin' here?

Mike: (He and the others put up their arms) Hol-y SHIT!

Guard 2: How did you get in?

Davy: Open gate?

Guard 2: The gate was locked, Sonny. We checked. Oh, and the broken statue at the entrance, was that your boys' doin' too?

Mike: He pissed me off.

Guard 3: Nice, boys. Now you're trespassing AND destroying property.

Guard 1: What are you doin' here?

Mike: Ridin' the roller coaster. What does it look like?

Guard 1: You're lucky you didn't get killed. They were testing the roller coaster after just cleaning the south tracks!

Micky: Uhhh...

Mike: Well, my buddies and I didn't do anythin' besides hit the mouse, and we didn't cause any trouble in here, so with your permission Officer, we'd like to leave, please.

Guard 1: Sorry boys, we're gonna have to book you. (He and two other men pull out handcuffs) Gentlemen, you're under arrest for trespassing and wanton destruction of private property...

Mike: Shit.

*This time, Micky does cry.*

(Cut from the guards slapping handcuffs on the boys to the parking lot, where the MonkeeMobile still sits. A squad car drives up to Ursula. The boys climb out, all worse for the wear.)

Guard 1: Next time boys, when the mouse says "Sorry, we're closed," he means "Sorry, we're closed." Call ahead if you want to come in. You're lucky we didn't decide to impound your vehicle and keep you longer.

Mike: Thanks officer, we'll remember that. (He turns to the others as the car drives back to the park) Let's get outta here.

Ursula: (As the Monkees climb wearily in) What was that all about? What did you do, punch a hole in their wall?

Mike: No, in their mouse.

Ursula: They arrested you, didn't they?

*Micky slouches down in the back. Davy has the passenger seat this time.*

Davy: Yes, they did.

Mike: (Nods) Cost us $50 for the mouse statue I knocked out and another $100 in bail fines. (Sighs) Let's just find the nearest cheap hotel and start out fresh to Chicago in the mornin'. We'll go straight on to the city. No stoppin' at any more tourist attractions. We don't have the money, and I'm startin' to realize I didn't plan this vacation nearly as well as I thought.

Ursula: Very well. We passed a small hotel on our way here. Not exactly the Ritz-Carlton, but it at least looked clean on the outside.

Mike: As long as we don't end up sleepin' in a park or the car, I don't care. (They finally drive off, the camera lingering on the closed park in the background as we fade out.)