Everyone ready to get lost?

Mike: Is that an insult? :p

Micky: Uh, what?

Davy: I must've 'eard that wrong.

(We open back in the woods. Mike wanders through the trees, pushing branches aside. For every branch he shoves, two seem to hit him back.)

Mike: Jeez... (Shoves another one; hit hits him right in the nose!) Ouch! Man, I think it's time we got back. It's almost dark, and I'm gettin' tired of the trees smackin' me. Ok, guys... (He turns around, but the other two aren't there) Guys? (Calls) Micky? (Calls louder) Davy? (Yells) BOYS? (Gulps) Hoo boy. I'm ok. I'm ok. The guys gotta be around here somewhere... (He turns around, looking for them. Suddenly, we hear the sound of a branch breaking and animals running off. Mike runs off, too, jumping over a fallen log as "Good Clean Fun" begins.)

*Davy slowly wanders through another portion of the woods, eyeing everything around him.*

*Micky walks through yet another part of the woods. He has an annoyed look on his face as he shoves branches aside. He calls for Mike and Davy, but gets no response. He shoves at some dense brush, sending several branches back at him, one catching him in the face, causing a small cut on his cheek. He fumes for a moment before making a machete appear in his hand and hacks at the greenery.*

(Mike runs through the brush...and right into Davy. Both scream and run off in opposite directions. Mike jumps logs like they're barrels, finally tripping over the last one. Three animated squirrels hold up cards that read "8.5," "9.0," and "8.0.")

*Micky continues hacking away at the greenery.*

(Mike leans against a tree, huffing and puffing. He slumps down against the tree...before jumping right back up again. An animated chipmunk runs out from under him, chattering angrily!)

*The squirrels that earlier gave rating for Mike are now throwing acorns at Davy.*

(Mike climbs into a tree, trying to see if he can figure out where he is.)

*Micky continues hacking his way through the woods.*

(Mike leans a little further out on the branch, trying to figure out where he is. As he pushes against the branch, we hear a sharp CRACK, then another. Mike scrambles to get off, but it's too late. The branch breaks, and Mike grabs hold of a vine. The vine sends him across a hunter's pit and into a bush.)

*Davy continues to wander.*

(Mike also wanders, brushing off the considerable flora he picked up after his fall from the vine.)

*Micky's finally had enough. He stands in the center of a small clearing, fists clenched at his sides. His eyes narrow...and the clearing becomes twice as large!*

(Mike wanders into the clearing as the song ends. He's still pulling twigs and branches off his clothes and hair.)

Mike: Wha... (looks around him) I coulda sworn this clearin' was smaller before. (Looks up) Hey, Mick. Where did you run off to?

Micky: *still fuming a bit* I didn't run off! These damn woods MADE me get lost! *faintly* I was about to try clearing ALL of the woods.

Mike: I wouldn't do that, Mick. This is government-protected property.

Micky: Well, I kinda didn't CARE at the moment. *sighs*

Mike: Ok, we've found each other. Seen Dave yet?

Micky: *shakes his head* Nope, not for a while. You?

Mike: (Scratches his head; makes a face as he pulls out yet another twig) I think I might have ran into him in the woods...

Micky: *makes a face* And with his height deficiency, it won't be easy for us to spot him.

Mike: I'm worried. He's little and he's got those big eyes. Some hunter might mistake him for the deer.

Micky: *snickers* Good point.

Davy: *suddenly appears from the brush* I may be small, but I can still 'ear!

Mike: Where have you been, boy?

Davy: Walking around in circles, trying to spot some familiar 'eads ovah the brush.

Mike: Ok, well, now that you've found us, we need to find our way back. We can't sleep here, and it's almost fully dark.

Davy: *grins* I'd suggest Mick light us a torch, but I'd be afraid 'e'd burn down the forest.

Micky: Hey!?

Mike: (Sniffs) Maybe I can do it. I got my wolf senses. I smell... (sniffs deeply) ...wood and coal smoke. Campfires. (Points southwest) THAT way.

Micky: *mutters* I could swear that was the direction I pointed us in earlier...

Mike: Come on. (They make their way through the woods again. Cut to the campsite. It's now completely dark. We see dim outlines of the tent, Ursula, the sleeping bags, and the now-unlit campfire. Micky makes his way in first, still hacking away at the brush with his machete, followed by Mike and Davy.)

Mike: Were there this many trees when we started this thing?

Micky: I think they multiplied.

Ursula: (As they emerge) Where have all of you been? I was beginning to wonder if I should call a ranger to send out a search party!

Mike: We had a close encounter with Mother Nature.

Ursula: (As Mike continues to pick sticks out of his hair) Very close, I see.

Mike: Look, why don't we just hit the sack? We'll have breakfast here, then stop somewhere for lunch before we hit Mighty World.

Micky: Yeah, all that fighting with nature kinda wore me out.

Ursula: You'll need rest if you're going to attend an amusement park tomorrow. Pleasant dreams, Guardians.

Mike: Night, Urse. (He picks up his suitcase and goes into the woods to change)

*Micky shrugs, sticks his tongue out in Mike's direction, then blue lights himself into his pajamas.*

Davy: Lazy.

Micky: It's better than fighting the shrubs again.

(Ursula just sighs. We fade out on the boys and fade in on them packing up the campsite, then pulling out of the clearing, down the mountain, and back onto the highway. Cut to the inside of the MonkeeMobile, a little later in the day.)

Mike: We should make it to Mighty World by late this afternoon. That'll give us the whole evenin' and night to take in what's there.

Ursula: Um, Michael, I'm feeling rather hungry.

Mike: Urse, there ain't a gas station 'round here for hundreds of miles!

Micky: *eyes widen* Wait! Look, up there!

Davy: I see it! There's a gas station!

Micky: And a place to get some grub next door!

Mike: Great!

Ursula: Please pull in! I'm about to run out!

(Mike barely gets Ursula into the gas station as the gage points at the E.)

Ursula: (Sighs as Mike pulls in) Thank goodness!

Mike: I'm gonna leave Urse here for gas and an oil change. We'll get lunch next-door.

Ursula: Are you sure that's advisable? That's a rather rough-looking crowd over there.

Micky: Aw, we're just going in for food!

Mike: We'll be ok, Urse. We've handled worse.

Ursula: (Nods as two grimy patrons in cowboy hats and overalls walk out) Just don't do anything to annoy the clientele. Those men were large enough to compete in those wrestling competitions Lauren and Micky are so fond of.

Mike: These guys ain't any different than some of the boys I knew in Texas.

Davy: That doesn't make me any less worried.

Micky: Worrywarts!

Ursula: (Under her motor, as the Monkees head over to the bar) Nice knowing all of you.

(The bar is the usual bar set seen in "Bandstand Boys" and "The Vast Wasteland," among other stories, but with more worn tables, chairs, and bar. A jukebox belts an instrumental blues tune as the Monkees take a seat at one of the grimy booths.)

Mike: (Grins) I think I like this place. Brings back memories. Sawdust on the floor and unshelled peanuts on the table. (Looks under the table; comes up with a grin) Yup, peanut shells and tobacco juice. I'm definitely liking this place.

Micky: Yeah. Makes me wanna break out into a cliché country song about my woman doing me wrong, my dog dying, and my truck not running. *laughs*

*Davy puts his head in his hands.*

Mike: (As the waitress, who wears jeans, a tight t-shirt, and an old apron, arrives) Gimme your cheapest beer, in a very large glass.

Waitress: What about you boys?

Micky: Mug of your best sasparilla!

Davy: Cheap beer.

Mike: (Grins and nods at a pool table; several very large men not unlike the two we saw leave the bar are already there) How long has it been since we've had a good game of pool? Every time we've done it at the Pad, the kids have ended up shootin' the balls across the table and messin' up our game.

Micky: Oh man. I can't remember the last time we had a legit game.

Davy: A long time.

Mike: (He saunters up to the men playing pool...who burst out laughing at the sight of him and the other two) Hey there, boys.

Man 1: (Western accent, a bit less twang-y than Mike's but definitely country) Hey there, skinny. What you doin' here, lookin' for a whole cow to add some meat to those bones?

Mike: (Tries not to bristle at the insult) No, I thought my friends and I (nods at Mike) could join you for a game.

Man 1: Well, sure! Why not? (Looks at the other three men) We ain't had some easy competition in a long time!

Man 2: Yeah, could be interestin' takin' money from kids.

Mike: We're NOT kids!

Man 1: Prove it. (Hands Mike the cue) Play in 10. Winner pays for the other's lunch and beer.

Mike: (Grabs the cue) You're on!

("Michigan Blackhawk" begins as Mike goes to the pool table. He hits the cue ball, but he's still angry and only hits one ball.)

*Micky moves behind Mike and massages his shoulders, trying to get the tension out. He gives an innocent albeit nervous grin when Mike turns a glare at him.*

(Mike nods as the first man takes his turn, hitting three balls. Mike closes his eyes and sniffs, trying to sense the balls with his wolf powers. He does manage to hit two balls in this time, just barely missing the black one.)

*Davy has his eyes covered. He can't watch. Micky smacks the back of Davy's head, then grabs his own cue stick.*

(The next man smirks as he hits two more balls in. He turns to Micky. Your turn, Skinny.)

*Micky salutes with the tip of his cue sticks, then lines up his shot and sinks three balls. He waggles his eyebrows, then blows on the end of his cue.*

(The third man growls. He's trying too hard and only scatters the balls around the table.)

*Davy grabs a cue stick of his own and looks over the table nervously, knowing he isn't quite as good as Mike and Micky. He lines up a shot, then closes his eyes. He ends up sinking one ball.*

(The next man takes his shot...and sinks four balls. There aren't too many left.)

(Mike takes his shot next. He closes his eyes and tries to sense the ball again. He hits the ball...and we get a slow motion shot as every last ball, including the black one, make it into the hole! Mike leans back with his cue and a small, satisfied Nesmith smile. The man obviously isn't happy! He takes a swing at Mike. Mike has the sense to duck...and he hits another patron instead!)

(That patron dumps his beer on the guy's head. The other guy hits him again, and we get into an all-out bar brawl!)

(Mike jumps on the bar, fighting off patrons using his cue stick as a sword.)

*Micky becomes a flurry of punches, not really caring who he hits as long as it isn't a friend.*

(A waitress brings out the guys' food. Um, do they still want it? As he ducks another patron, Mike tells the waitress that yes, they want their food, and they'll have it to go! He hits a patron as the waitress shrugs, turns around, and returns to the kitchen.)

*Davy crawls through one guy's legs, then hops on the back of another, covering his eyes. The first guy turns and punches the second guy.*

(The guy who insulted Mike in the first place at the start of the pool game grabs him and sends him across the bar! Mike smashes into the jukebox.)

*Micky jumps at the guy who flung Mike, sending both crashing to the floor in a blur of flying fists.*

(Mike finally grabs their food as the waitress brings it out and the music draws to a close.)

Mike: Um, we'll take that to go, ma'am.

Waitress: Here's your check.

Davy: *appears next to Mike* Thank you!

Mike: Here! (Hands her a wad of money) That should just about cover our meals and tips. We've gotta go! (Sees several big guys reaching for them) Right NOW!

*Davy grabs hold of Micky's collar and drags him along as he and Mike bolt for the door.*