Everyone ready to continue our journey?

Mike: At this point, no.

Peter: I'm not so sure...

Micky: We don't really have much choice.

Davy: Mick's right.

(We open back in the woods. The mist continues to thin, making the boys' flashlights far more visible than they were earlier in the story.)

Peter: I wonder how much further we have to go?

Mike: Sure feels like a hell of a lot longer than two hours.

Peter: Look! Up ahead! (He shines his light on a path to a small, old-fashioned cottage with a thatched roof.) It looks like something out of an old fairy tale book!

Mike: I sure hope the Seven Dwarves don't live there. (Looks over his shoulder) I'm havin' enough trouble with dopes an' grumps as it is.

Slip: Wanna say that a little louder?

Peter: You know, I wonder if we should go in there...

Mike: (Peers inside) Don't look like there's anyone around.

Peter: Remember Goldilocks and the Three Bears?

Sach: Yeah!

Mike: (Puts up a hand) So we won't eat anyone's porridge, sit in any chairs, or sleep in anyone's bed.

Micky: After the last mishap, I'm not doing ANY of those.

(They step into the room. It's just one small room, with a spinning wheel in one corner and a bed in another. There's a cupboard filled with dishes and a stove on the other side of the room. A table and two chairs are in the middle.)

Peter: (Smiles) It's dirty, but rather quaint.

Mike: (Sniffs...and makes a face) Whoever lives here don't smell too good. I smell danger... (makes a face) an' rottin' meat.

Slip: Don't ya ever smell anythin' good?

Peter: No. (Mike smacks his shoulder.)

Mike: (Eyes widen) I hear somethin' noisy. With large steps.

Davy: Not what we wanna hear, Mike.

(That's when a very large and hairy creature shoves it's way through the door. He has warts all over his body and wears sandals and torn pants and a shirt made from hides. His thick beard almost reaches the floor. Peter takes one look at him and turns white. Mike has to grab him to keep him from ending up on the floor.)

*Sach pushes his way behind Slip. Micky and Davy trade faces.*

Troll: What are all of you doin' here?

Mike: Leavin'. Bye!

Troll: Oh no, you don't! (He reaches for Sach and Slip first. Slip scuttles away, but Sach isn't fast enough. He tucks him under his arm.)

Slip: Sach!

Sach: CHIEF!

(The troll quickly swings Peter over his shoulder, then takes Micky and Davy under his other arm.)

Mike: Shit! Let them go!

Slip: You goon, put them down!

(The troll stamps his foot. There's a black puff of dust around him. When it subsides, all of the boys are gone but Slip and Mike.)

Mike: You BASTARD! Where are they?

Slip: What the hell did you do to them?

Troll: You'll find out after you do me a favor.

Slip: Why should we?

Troll: Do you want to see your friends again alive?

Slip: Whadaya want?

Troll: I want you to spin straw into gold.

Mike: (Eyebrows go up) Come again?

Slip: What?

Troll: I want you to spin straw into gold. Gold's precious stuff out here, an' I can never get enough of it. If you can, I'll set you and your friends free. If not (smirks) I get all of you. And I don't care how you do it. Just do it by the time I come back.

Mike: So, where's the straw?

Troll: Over here. (He stamps his foot....and the black dust reveals a gigantic pile of straw that reaches the ceiling and takes up more than half the room.)

Mike: (As he jumps away from the oncoming straw) Oh, there it is.

Slip: Great.

Troll: This all has to be gone by the time I get back, or else... (He slashes his finger across his throat and stomps off.)

Mike: Oh, this is just wonderful. From now on, Em reads the kids fairy tales.

Slip: This is ridiculous.

Mike: Do you know how to spin straw into gold?

Slip: Do you?

Mike: Maybe I could try usin' my powers...

(Mike sits at the spinning wheel and starting turning it.)

Mike: Hand me the straw, Slip.

Slip: *Hands straw to him* Here.

Mike: Thanks. (He concentrates as he runs the straw over the spinning wheel. There's a blue light, and it turns into strands of pure gold.)

(The camera shows the pile getting smaller and smaller...but when it cuts back to Mike, he also looks more tired. He's barely holding onto the straw and wheel, and the blue light is growing fainter.)

Slip: C'mon, Mike! There's still more straw! You can't be tired yet.

Mike: I ain't used to concentratin' for so long. (The blue light finally fades out all together as he leans on the wheel) I'm gettin' too old for this.

Slip: I coulda told ya that.

Mike: Funny. (Makes a face. He tries to concentrate. There's a small blue light, but nothing happens. He groans and holds his head.) Shit. I have a headache. I can't concentrate.

Slip: And that's different from the usual how?

Mike: I'm just tired.

Slip: Well, that's great. Now whada we do?

(That's when another head sticks in. Like the first troll, it's big and shaggy. This one's a bit shorter than the other. He has a larger, rounder nose, a larger mouth, and shaggy red hair instead of shaggy brown hair.)

Troll #2: Elmer? Hey buddy, where are 'ya?

Mike: (Doesn't look up from the spinning wheel) Elmer ain't in.

Troll #2: Ya know when he'll be back?

Slip: Nope.

Troll #2: Ok. Mind if I wait?

Slip: *Slight smirk* Nah, we don't mind. *pauses* You, uh, wouldn't happen to know how to spin straw into gold, would ya?

Troll #2: Me? Sure! I do that all the time!

Slip: How'd ya like to give us a hand?

Troll #2: What's in it for me?

Slip: Uhh... *remembers and pulls something from his pocket; offers it to the troll* chocolate?

Troll #2: (Drool) Chocolate...

Mike: Yeah, man....but only if you help us.

Slip: *Holds it up a little* Ya gotta do some spinnin' first. Then I'll give ya a piece.

Troll #2: I want that chocolate! (He lunges for it...but Slip pulls it away. Mike smirks.)

Mike: No gold, no candy.

Slip: Ya gotta help us first.

Mike: (Takes the chocolate) Of course, if you don't wanna help out, Slip or I can eat it... (He breaks off a piece and hands it to Slip....but the troll yanks it out of his hand.)

Troll #2: CHOOOOCCCOOOLLLLATTEEE! (He sits down at the spinning wheel, grabs the straw, and spins it until it turns golden. Soon, the entire room is filled with nothing but strands of gold.)

Mike: (Grins at Slip) You think Elmer would notice if we kept a few strands? This could sure help my business...

Slip: Wouldn't mind keepin' a few myself.

Troll #2: Chooocooollllattte... (He finally settles down on the floor with his treat, completely ignoring Slip and Mike.)

Slip: Good thing I didn't finish that.

Mike: Maybe we should get outta here and find the other guys, before Elmer realizes we had help makin' that gold.

Slip: *Nods* Let’s go.

(The boys hurry into the clearing in the back. Mike stops short, his face filled with horror, when the first thing he encounters is a wooden statue that looks distinctly like Peter with a horrified expression on his face.)

Mike: Oh no...oh Pete... (Turns around) Shit. (He sees two more statues near the edge of the woods, both poised to run) Davy! Micky! Oh god, no. (Gulps) An' my head ain't workin' well enough to turn you back! (Yells over his shoulder) Slip, have you found Sach?

Slip: *Growls* Yeah, I found 'im.

Mike: Is he wooden, too? More than usual, that is.

*Sach is positioned stock-still, with his hands covering his eyes.* :-O

Mike: Damn it. What are we gonna do?

Elmer: Where are those guys? (He stamps outside) I didn't say you could have help!

Troll #2: (Follows him) But they gave me chooocooolllattteeee!

Slip: That sonufavbitch! I'm gonna beat him black and blue!

Elmer: (He looks down at Slip) Repeat that to my face, little man.

Slip: I'll say it slower. You son of a bitch, I'll make you black and blue!

Elmer: I'd like to see you try it! I could sit on you and squash you flat!

(Mike slaps his palm to his forehead. Boy, is Slip asking for it. Elmer raises his foot to do just that, but Slip ducks away.)

Slip: Can't you move faster than that?

Mike: (As "Listen to the Band" begins) Get him to stamp down hard enough to make that dust and turn the guys back!

Slip: C'mon, fatso! You can do better 'an that!

(Mike ducks around the other troll. He keeps trying to reach in his pocket to see if there's more candy bars. He jumps away just in time. The smaller troll makes a flying leap for him. He lands right next to Micky and Davy, creating a whirlwind of black dust. When it subsides, both are moving again.)

(Elmer roars and goes after Slip. He stomps down, trying to get Slip. He creates black dust...but Slip ducks away, and the dust hits Sach instead.)

*Sach peeks through his fingers, yelps, and high-tails it away to go hide.*

Slip: *Moves over toward Peter* Yer slowin' down, ugly!

Elmer: I ain't slow! You're too fast! (He makes a lunge for Slip)

*Slip dodges again. Elmer draws up dust that hits Peter, allowing Peter to move again.*

Slip: I could out-run ya on one leg!

Peter: Oh...oh my...

Elmer: Let me at 'im!

Mike: (He grins at the smaller troll) You couldn't catch me with both legs and an elbow tied behind your back!

Troll #2: Oh yeah?

(The song ends with both trolls making a flying leap for the two young men. They nimbly jump away, and the trolls run head-long into each other. They fall in opposite directions, out cold. Mike and Slip shake hands as the others join them.)

Peter: What happened?

Mike: Those unappealin' gents wanted us to make straw into gold for them.

Slip: So we tricked 'em into makin' their own gold and changin' you guys back to normal.

Peter: (Grins) Nice bit of teamwork there, guys.

Mike: (Chuckles) I guess the giants sorta tricked us, too. They got us workin' together.

Slip: *Shrugs* Yeah, they did.

Mike: (Grins at Slip) You're a pretty darn good con man.

Slip: Yer just now realizin' that?

*Sach suddenly bear-hugs Slip. Slip winces.*

Sach: Chiefy!

Peter: (Bear-hugs Mike) Oh Mike, that was sooo scary!

Slip: Anyone got a crowbar?

Mike: Tell me about it.

*Micky and Davy just laugh.*

Slip: *Finally pries Sach off of him* Gedoffame! C'mon, let’s get movin'.

Mike: Yeah, before these guys come to and remember who knocked them out.

(Mike makes the flashlights appear again, and the boys head off on the path. Cut to the woods again. The mist is getting thinner and thinner. We can now see a lot more than the boys' outlines, though they're still shadowy.)

Micky: Man, we've gotta be near that tower by now.

Mike: I sure hope so. It feels like it's been a hell of a lot longer than two hours.

Peter: Maybe two hours lasts a week in these woods.

Sach: I once had two hours last four months.

Peter: You too?

Sach: *Grins* Yeah!

Mike: (Looks at Slip and shakes his head) Are you sure we don't have the same troops?

Slip: I'm wonderin'...

Mike: (Stops and sniffs again; makes a face) I smell somethin' that needs a bath.

Peter: (Stops as we hear growling) What's that?

Slip: Better be Sach's stomach.

Sach: *Shakes his head* But it wasn't, Chief.

Micky: Don't look at me.

Mike: No, I know what their stomachs sound like, and it ain't that. It sounds like (gulps) an animal. (Raises an eyebrow) A horny animal? I hope Sheila ain't out there.

Davy: That's bloody wonderful.

Slip: I'm tempted to ask how ya know it's a horny animal... but I'm not that interested in findin' out.

(That's when a huge, armless pink furry thing runs in! She wears pink heels and has a big pink bow on top of her head. She takes one look at Slip and grins at him, hearts in her eyes.)

Slip: Someone tell me that thing ain't starin' at me.

Micky: I'd love to, Slip, really I would...but she IS staring at you.

Mike: Uh, hi, ma'am. You know, you're really freakin' him out, starin' like that.

(That's when the monster grabs Slip and hugs him with all her might!)

*Slip makes an unintelligible noise as she knocks the wind out of him with the hug.*

Sach: Chief!

Davy: I think I've seen everything now.

Micky: Doesn't she remind you of someone?

(The pink monster continues hugging Slip as she runs off.)

Sach: CHIEF!

Micky: Oh great, now we gotta chase after her!

*Sach runs off, still yelling for his Chief.*

("Mary Mary" begins as the four boys follow the pink monster into the woods.)

(Cut to the woods. The full moon shines on the pink monster as she settles down on a log and continues squeezing Slip.)

*Slip is trying to wiggle away, to no avail. He’s gasping for air.*

*Over the song, we occasionally hear Sach call out for "Chieeeeefyyyyy!"*

*Meanwhile, the pink monster realizes that Slip's on the fuzzy side and pulls his shirt off. She squeezes him even harder.*

(Mike shoves bushes away with his flashlight, but they keep hitting him in the face.)

*Sach is running zig-zags through the bushes. He lets a branch go that smacks Micky right in the face.*

(Peter shoots anything that moves with his arrows, including things like chipmunks that are probably harmless.)

*As the pink monster continues to squeeze Slip, we see a red armless monster wearing sneakers join them. His arms suddenly appear and rest at apparently his hips. He makes a face at the pink monster.*

(The pink monster makes a face back and squeeze Slip. Can't she keep this one? He's cute!)

*The red monster shakes his head. No! No more pets! The red monster reaches out and takes her arm, trying to make her let Slip go so they can leave for home.*

(The pink monster wants to continue to squeeze Slip, but the red monster finally leads her away as the song ends and the others enter the glade.)

*Slip is left gasping for air, leaning against the log. Sach finally runs into the area. He flings his arms around Slip, who shoves him off. *

Mike: Slip! (The others all join Sach in the glade) Man, what happened? Did that chick do anythin' unrepeatable to ya?

Peter: She didn't...try anything, did she?

Slip: *Shakes his head* No...her boyfriend...came to...get her. *Reaches for discarded shirt and groans* Mighta bruised a rib...or two...

Mike: I know you hate this, but...need a hand gettin' up?

Slip: *Nods* Yeah...I do...

Sach: *Wraps an arm around Slip* I got this side...

Mike: (Also wraps an arm around Slip) I got the other. (They help him to his feet) Pete, you, Mick, an' Davy lead the way. We're gonna help Slip.

Micky: Aye aye, Captain.

Peter: (Nods) Ok, Michael. (They shine their flashlight into the woods again and head off.)