But, enough of that. Everyone ready for our briefing?

Micky: You bet! :D ;)

Peter: I'm ready!

Lauren: Oh, Mick. *shakes head* I'm ready. :)

Mike: If it'll get us away from psychotic showgirls, I'm game for anything! :p

Davy: Yeah, no kiddin', mate. :p

(We begin in the Central Intelligence Service's east-coast branch. It looks more or less like Inspector Blount's office in "Monkee Chow Mein," with maps and globes all over, shelves of books, and one large desk in the middle. Honeywell goes to his desk and sits down.)

Honeywell: (As the group gathers around the desk) Ok, kids, how much do you know about (looks around - softly) Darwin?

Mike: Only that he's a master of disguise, and if that looney-tunes chorus line was any indication, has a really offbeat sense of humor. :p

Honeywell: (Nods) Right you are, Michael. He's the head of an international jewel theft ring that steals precious gems from around the globe and smuggles them into New York through cheap trinkets and souveniers.

Peter: So what does this have to do with us?

Agent Broderick: (Flips his pad) According to this, yesterday at 3:31 PM Eastern Standard Time, a Mr. Peter Tork bought a small, inexpensive Chinese statue from a souvenier vendor across from Central Park.

Micky: So?

Davy: Yeah, Petah bought a statue, but wot does THAT 'ave to do wit' Darwin?

Honeywell: Did the statue have two glass eyes and a glass bellybutton?

Peter: (Nods) Yes, he does! He likes his glass eyes. :)

Honeywell: Have any of you tried loosening the glass?

Peter: (Frowns) That would hurt him! :(

Honeywell: Son, behind the glass is the real deal.

Emma: You mean...

Honeywell: (Nods) That Chinese man has eyes and a bellybutton worth up to a thousand dollars on the international market.

Davy: But that was real glass! Some of it chipped!

Honeywell: The gems are hidden in tiny panels behind the glass.

Lauren: Wow!

Maxine: You're kidding?

Honeywell: I never kid about gemstones worth more than the capital of several third-world nations. :p

Mike: (Puts out a hand) Wait, hold on a minute here. How did the vendor end up with a statue filled with gemstones that belongs to a notorious bank robber?

Honeywell: The vendor's name is Arnold Finkelstein, and we checked him out. He's clean. Just your average New Yorker. One of the crates with the jewel-filled souveniers must have been shipped to the wrong warehouse building by mistake. Arnold's company seems to have gotten the million-dollar one.

Mike: Where do we come in?

Honeywell: We want you to help us capture Darwin.

Mike: I don't think that's a good idea.

Peter: Michael, if it'll help them get Darwin and the jewels, how could it hurt?

Micky: You have to ask, Pete? :P

Mike: Remember what happened the last time we helped them recover something that was stolen? :p

Peter: Well, we DID catch Boris, and the Chinese got Madame!

Davy: Yeah, AFTAH they almost killed us! :p

Micky: I'm not a big fan of seeing my life flash before my eyes, especially if I have a choice in it. :P

Mike: (Turns to Honeywell) Plus, Honeywell, you and your men are some of the most incompetent fools this side of a Keystone Cops short. Broderick couldn't record a sonic boom, and you, your men, and Inspector Blount have some interesting ideas of being on time. :p

Broderick: Hey, I DID record Marcovich and his assistant...

Valerie: With OUR help. :p

Honeywell: I swear, I'll have my best men keep an eye on all of you at all times, and you'll be fitted out with our latest and most basic equipment.

Micky: *interest picqued* Equipment? :D

Honeywell: Agent Broderick, why don't you call Mr. Desmond, our equipment and weapons expert, and have him show the kids what they'll use to help them catch Darwin?

Mike: IF we agree to it. :p

Broderick: (Leans in a door and yells) Hey, Desmond, get in here! We've got a bunch of new recruits that wanna see your stuff!

Honeywell: (Wiggles his finger in his ear) Agent Broderick, in the future, could you please keep your voice modulated and not scream loud enough for the KGB AND Red China to hear? :p

Desmond: (He's a crochety old British man in a rumpled suit and no-longer-white lab coat; he comes in wheeling a table full of strange instruments) Donald, my boy, there was no need to shout. I was right in the next room, perfecting the new explosives that just came over from Japan.

Donald: (Blushes) Sorry. I guess I just got excited. :">

Mr. Desmond: Are these the new recruits?

Honeywell: Sort of. We need their help to track down Darwin and those missing jewels.

Mr. Desmond: Well, let me show you the basic equipment you'll need, then.

Mike: Do we get a shoe phone? ;)

(Emma smacks him over the head as he chuckles.)

Micky: How about a lighter with a miniature Japanese cameraman?

*Lauren smacks Micky in the head. Micky shrugs, grinning.* ;)

Desmond: Please, young man, that's just television. We're far more sophisticated than that. (Pulls out a pen) You see this little pen here.

Micky: Does it write in blue or black ink? ;)

Davy: (Takes it from Mr. Desmond) Looks ordinary enough. (Points it to a wall) Bang! Bang! (That's when the "pen" lets off a shot of a bubbling liquid that hits the opposite wall and eats a hole straight into the next room)

Micky: Whoa! Oh, I like that. I like that VERY much!

Desmond: (Grabs the pen) DON'T play with these! That pen contains a highly acidic poison. The pen can shoot the acid up to two hundred feet, and the acid can eat through any metal, including iron, steel, bronze, and copper.

Kimberly: (Holds up a lipstick container) Mr. Desmond, I didn't think Blushing Rose was your color. ;)

Desmond: (Grabs the lipstick container) That's NOT lipstick. It's a marker that can write on any surface with invisible ink. The ink will only be visible when it's held up to light.

Lauren: I KNEW there was a good use for lipstick. ;)

Emma: What about the watch and the compact?

Desmond: Homing devices. (Pulls out a pad of what looks like stamps) These are minature versions. You have to lick them to get them to stay on, but when they're on, they won't come off.

Desmond: (Holds up what looks like a frisbee) This may look like an ordinary Frisbee, but please don't throw it around Central Park. (Pushes a button - a long, collaspable handle comes out) It's actually a device that can find any precious jewel or metal burried up to six hundred feet under the ground. The handle vibrates when it passes over any kind of jewels or precious metals.

Mike: Hey, where's Mick?

Lauren: *looks around* Oh no, don't tell me... :P

Broderick: Hey, Mr. Desmond, there's someone in the lab!

Desmond: Who would be in there at this hour? All of my assistants went home for the night!

Mike: Micky, get outta there! :p

Lauren: Awe, no... :P

Micky: *from the lab* But there's MORE really groovy equipment in here! :D

(Everyone hurries into the labs. Chemistry sets and huge computers are scattered throughout the room. Baskets of oranges, apples, and pears sit on top of the the table. Desmond grabs Micky's hand as he reaches for a pear.)

Micky: Hey! :P

Desmond: Don't eat that, young man! That's a highly explosive compound! :o

Micky: *makes a face* What do you take me for? I wasn't gonna eat it! I was looking. *grins* Highly explosive compound? :D ;)

Desmond: Yes. (Wiggles the stem of the pear) The stem of the "fruit" becomes a fuse (pulls out the "stem" to reveal a long, waxy white rope), which, when let off, can destroy walls up to five hundred feet thick.

Micky: *breathes out* Oh, man... :D

Lauren: *mutters to Emma* Mick's in love again. ;)

Emma: (Grins) For the very first time today. ;)

Mike: (Grabs the pear) We DON'T need him playin' with THOSE. :p

Peter: Micky likes to blow things up!

Davy: A lot. :p

Desmond: You're a demolition expert, young man?

Micky: *wide grin* You'd better BELIEVE it! :D

Lauren: We can all can vouch for him. ;) :P

Desmond: Then you'll like this little creation of mine. (Pulls out a red rubber ball) See this ball? I just worked on it today. It's a smoke ball firecracker. It'll create a spark and a thick ball of smoke that will envelope the enemy long enough to let you escape. (Holds it out) Would anyone like to try it?

Micky: *waves both arms in the air* Oooooohhhh, me! :D

*Lauren slaps her forehead.* :P :">

Desmond: I like a man with enthusiasm. (Hands Micky the ball) Throw it on the far side of the room, away from all of us.

Mike: Or maybe out a window.

Micky: *nods* Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mike. :P

Peter: What if he hits a car or a passing pedestrian?

Mike: We'll just tell them it's the smog. :p

Micky: *points across the room* I'm throwing it over there, okay? :P *throws the red rubber ball across the room. It lands, creating, indeed, a spakr, then a thick ball of of smoke* I love this place. :) :D

Desmond: (Brings the kids over to a chemistry set and hands them a plastic bottle) This bottle contains pills that will knock anything living unconcious for up to two weeks.

Kimberly: (Tries to open the bottle) It won't come undone! :p

Desmond: (Takes the bottle and opens it quite easily) You have to know how it works, young lady. I created this cap so only our men will know how to open it. You just match up the two little triangles, like this (demonstrates for the crowd), and (opens the bottle again) it opens. :)

Honeywell: That should bring you kids about up-to-date.

Mike: Up-to-date for what?

Honeywell: Your meeting with Darwin.

Mike: Now, just hold on a minute...

Honeywell: (Nods at Peter) Mr. Tork has some of the stolen goods. Some of our agents will approach agents of Darwin and arrange for Mr. Tork - followed by the rest of you and our men - to bring him the statue. We think he wants the jewels for some specific purpose, and we want Mr. Tork to find out what it is.

Peter: How will I do that?

Desmond: With this. (Pulls out a set of beads with a large pendant on the end) This pendant is actually a minature tape recorder. It can record sound up to three hundred feet away, from the tiniest mouse to the loudest plane roar.

Peter: If I have two of them, can I record in stereo? ;)

(Valerie nudges him as he snickers. :p )

*Micky grins.* ;)

Honeywell: You'll get Darwin to talk and lead us to him. You get him to confess, and we'll arrest him.

Peter: What if he won't confess?

Honeywell: Get him talking. Criminals love to talk about their endevours. ;)

Lauren: And do it gladly, too. ;)

Emma: Some of the bad guys in the James Bond movies take ten minutes describing how they intend to take over the world. ;)

Valerie: (Takes Peter's arm) I don't think Peter should do this alone.

Mike: I don't, either.

Desmond: I have to agree. Why doesn't the boy have a companion? If one gets in trouble, the other can go for help.

Valerie: I'll go.

Peter: Val, no! Not while you're pregnant!

Valerie: If it gets really nasty, I'll go for help. I'll be careful, Peter. (Leans closer to him) I just want to stay with you.

Mike: I still don't like this. This isn't really our bag. We're musicians, not spies.

Honeywell: I understand your apprehension. Why don't we give you a day or two to think it over?

Mike: (Shrugs) We'll be in town for another couple of days. (Nods) Just give us 24 hours, Inspector. We'll call you with our decision then.

Honeywell: I'm not going to lie and say it's not dangerous work, but you've all handled criminals before.

Davy: And almost not lived to tell the tale. :p

Micky: No kidding. :P But, then again, we'd get to use all of these great gadgets. ;)

Honeywell: Think it over and call us with your decision. You have our number. (Nods) Agent Broderick will take you kids back to the Plaza Hotel.

Mike: (Frowns) How did you know we were stayin' there?

Honeywell: (Shrugs and smiles) We're spies, Nesmith. That's what we do. We find out information. ;) :)

(Mike starts grumbling. Emma takes his arm and shakes her head. :p )

(Agent Broderick leads the kids through the office and out the door. Desmond turns to Honeywell, frowning.)

Desmond: Chief, do you think they'll really help you? They didn't seem all that eager, except for the chap with the curls.

Honeywell: (Puts his fingers together in an arch) Oh, they'll call us, all right. This isn't the first time they've turned down our help, only to change their minds when it turns into something they can't handle.

Desmond: What do you think this is really all about?

Honeywell: I don't know, Desmond, but I think we'll find out soon enough.

(Cut to the elevator of the Plaza Hotel. The Monkees and their significant others are the only ones still there.)

Emma: Mike, under the circumstances, I really think we should lend a hand.

Mike: And get ourselves killed?

Peter: We haven't died yet, Michael!

Micky: Face it, Mike, we've survived through some pretty hairy predicaments.

Peter: (Nods at his wife, who is just staring dreamily at the panneling) What do you think, Val?

Valerie: (Sighs) Huh? :X

Peter: Do you think we should help the CIS?

Valerie: (Nods, not really paying attention) Uh-huh.

Lauren: *grins* Val's not home right now. Please leave your name and number, and she'll get back to you after she's done daydreaming about being a mother. ;)

Mike: What about Val?

Peter: Emma and Lauren have helped out while pregnant, and Katie and the twins are fine!

(The elevator finally arrives at the 16th floor. The kids all troop off and over to their rooms.)

Mike: (To Micky, Davy, Lauren, and Daphne) How' 'bout we sleep on this, guys, and discuss it in the morning?

Peter: (Nods, yawning) We HAVE had a long day.

Micky: *nods* Yeah, okay.

Emma: We did tell Honeywell we'd give him twenty-four hours notice.

Mike: We'll see you guys tomorrow. Call us if you need us.

Lauren: Night, guys! :)

Emma: Night!

Peter: See you tomorrow! :)

(Mike opens the door to their room. He stumbles over something, curses, and flips on the light...to reveal a disaster area. Clothes, pillows, the swan soap, the luggage, Mike and Peter's instruments and cases, and furnature are scattered all over. A potted plant was overturned, it's dirt laying on the carpet in the living room.)

Mike: Holy SHIT! What the HELL happened in here?

Peter: Boy, is the maid going to get a lousy tip!

Valerie: Peter, honey, I doubt this was the maid's doing. :p

Mike: Pete, where's the statue?

Peter: (City-lighting grin) I did what you said we should do with valuables while in the city, Mike. I had it put in the hotel safe. :)

Mike: Good thinkin', Pete. (Grabs the phone) I'm gonna call the others.

Emma: (She, Valerie, and Peter go through the other rooms) They all look like the living room.

Peter: The beds were all ripped apart! Someone took the stuffing out of the mattresses! :p

Mike: Operator, get me room 16 B. (Waits a minute) Hello, Mick? Lauren?

Micky: *sighs* Your room looks like World War Three, too? :P

Mike: They hit you guys?

Micky: Oh, yeah. You should see these three trying to CLEAN up in here!*muffled* What's a little mess? Just leave it! :P

Mike: Mick, I...we...think Darwin and his cronies left this mess. They must have done it while we were at CIS headquarters.

Peter: (Gulps) Darwin? :(

Micky: I kinda figured that, Mike. But considering how BAD the mess is, *more directed away from the phone, to the others* it'd be better to just LEAVE IT! :P

Mike: Tell the others to leave the mess to the maids and get over here. We've gotta talk.

Micky: *muffled* Stop trying to clean! C'mon, we're going across the hall. We gotta talk. *normal* We'll be right over.

Mike: (Puts the reciever down) They're comin' over. The others were tryin' to clean up the mess. Don't know why. That's what they employ maids here for. :p

Emma: How did they get in, anyway?

Mike: Probably dressed as maids and bellboys and told everyone they were goin' upstairs. Nobody would pay the slightest attention to more help in a big place like this! :p

Valerie: It's a good thing Peter did put the statue in the hotel safe, or they'd probably would have found it.

Peter: What are we going to do now?

Mike: I have a pretty good idea, but let's wait until the others get here to make any decisions.

*Right on cue, there's a pounding at the door.*

Micky: *calls out* We're here!

Emma: I'll get that. They'll wake up the rest of the hotel. ;) (Emma opens the door to reveal the other four.)

Daphne: (Looks in as they head through the door) Oh, man, I think you guys look WORSE than we do! :p

Davy: They must 'ave taken a sledge'ammah to your room! :p

Lauren: Yeah, and a steel chair, and golf clubs, and a weed whacker... :P

Mike: No kiddin'. :p

Emma: Pull up a chair, if you can find one that's still in once piece.

(Valerie puts the pillows back on the couch. She, Emma, and Peter sit there. Mike rights a large, soft chair and puts the pillow back in, then sits in it himself.)

Micky: Think I'll pull up a piece of floor. *shoves some stuff aside and sits; Lauren sits next to him*

(Daphne and Davy move the TV, which is now laying on it's side on the floor, and sit where it had been.)

Mike: Look, guys, as much as I hate to admit it, I think we're gonna have to accept the CIS' offer.

*Micky tries to not grin too widely.* ;)

Peter: I wouldn't mind! I want to help my statue keep his good eyes and bellybutton!

Lauren: *sees the look on Micky's face* And we'll get to use all of their wonderful equipment, right, Mick? *elbows him* ;)

Daphne: And kick those nasty showgirls to hell and gone! ;) :D

Lauren: *nods* That, too. ;) :D

Davy: I'd love to play James Bond again. ;)

Peter: Well, we've seen all of the James Bond movies, haven't we? We know what to do!

Mike: Yeah, drink martinis and chase women. :p

Davy: Wot's wrong with that? ;)

(Daphne smacks Davy over the head. :p)

Davy: Sorry, luv. Old ‘abits die ‘ard.

Micky: *snorts* No kidding. :P

Mike: I'm gonna call the girls and see if they're up to it, then call Honeywell and see if he still wants us. (Dials the phone) Hello, operator, I'd like room 15 D please. (Pause, then) Hi, Kim, it's me, Mike. Our rooms up here were completely trashed. (Rolls his eyes) No, we didn't do it. We think Darwin was up here, lookin' for Pete's statue. (Shakes his head) No, he didn't find it. Pete put it in the hotel safe. I was gonna call Honeywell, and... (pause) Yeah, I wanted to know if you guys still wanted to help. (Pulls the phone away from his ear; when he puts it back) That's great. I'll call him as soon as I get off with him and give you more details. Bye.

Emma: Well?

Mike: They're gonna help. You shoulda heard how happy Kim was when I asked. :p ;)

Lauren: *grins* Not awfully surprising. ;)

Mike: (Picks up the phone) Operator, get me 555-3936. Thanks. (Waits for a few minutes, then) Hello? Yes, this is Michael Nesmith. I'd like to speak to Inspector Nathan Honeywell, please. (Another few minutes) Inspector, this is Michael Nesmith. We have somethin' interestin' to report. Our rooms have been trashed. (Pause) Geez, what kind of people do you think we are? WE didn't do the trashin'! We think Darwin was in here, lookin' for the statue!

Honeywell: (Cut to him on the phone) What did I tell you, Nesmith?

Mike: (Ignores him) What do you want us to do?

Honeywell: Our men are, even as we speak, contacting some of Darwin's most trusted associates. They'll give us the location of his secret hide-out. We want Mr. Tork and a partner to meet him at the Blue Olive and distract him while we find the jewels and what Darwin intends to do with them.

Mike: When do you want us to do this?

Honeywell: Probably tomorrow night after your show at the Atlantica Club, though I imagine I'll have to get a hold of my agents.

Mike: You WILL have men surroundin' the buildin', right?

Honeywell: Agent's honor, Mr. Nesmith. I'll have all my best men on this. We want to get those jewels back as much as you want this whole thing over with. It's been a thorn in our side for quite a while.

Mike: You'd BETTER. One of our number is pregnant.

Honeywell: We WON'T allow anything to happen to a pregnant woman!

Mike: See that you don't. (Slams the phone down)

Emma: Well?

Micky: Seems like it went well. :P

Mike: He's gonna call us back with the details, but it sounds like Pete is gonna meet the contact tomorrow after the show at the Atlantica Club, and they'll take him and a partner to Darwin's headquarters.

Peter: ME? :o

Mike: It's your statue, buddy, and your big brown eyes could melt solid rock.

Valerie: (Sighs and leans her head on his shoulder) And I should know. ;) :X

Mike: Honeywell said you could bring a partner.

Valerie: (Holds Peter) Me.

Mike: Val, I don't think that's such a good idea.

Valerie: We're dealing with a criminal, not the Devil. The moment something goes wrong, I'll flee the scene and call one of you or a member of the CIS.

Peter: Valerie, I couldn't stand if something happened to you or our child, especially because of me! :(

Valerie: I'll be ok, Peter. I can take care of myself. :)

Emma: (Whispers to Lauren) Not if she keeps acting like a space cadet. It must be her pregnancy. You got moody. I got hysterical. Val's getting flaky. :p

Lauren: *nods* No kidding. :P

Emma: She'll be absolutely useless if she goes on like this. :p

Lauren: There's no way she can go with Peter and actually help him. He'd be too busy just trying to keep her focused. :P

Emma: Maybe he'd better take Mike, or Micky...

Lauren: I'd say Mike. *glances at Micky* Mick's rather hung up on trying out the CIS equipment. :P

Emma: (Nods at Lauren) Right. (Out loud) Val, maybe you'd better stay with us girls.

Valerie: (Snuggles against Peter) Hmm?

Emma: And that's WHY you should stay with us girls.

Lauren: Exactly. :P

Davy: She 'as been actin' awfully spacey lately. :p

Valerie: I have?

Peter: Valerie, you haven't really been yourself in the past few days, ever since you went to the doctor's at home.

Mike: Val, under the circumstances, I think the girls are right. You really should stay where there's more protection.

Valerie: But, I can...

Peter: (Gently puts his finger on her lips) Not when you have our little one in you, Valerie. Remember how Emma had to let us take care of her? You're going to have to now, too.

Valerie: Peter, I want to be with you.

Peter: Val, I'll be ok.

Mike: I'll take care of him, Val. I'll be his partner. :)

Emma: (Goes to Mike and puts her hand on his shoulder) Be careful, honey.

Mike: Don't worry, Em.

Peter: Yeah, we're good at invading secret headquarters by now! ;) :D

Davy: We do it all the time. ;)

Micky: We could almost do it blindfolded. ;)

Emma: Don't any of you try it blindfolded!

Daphne: That includes Micky and Davy. ;)

Davy: We wouldn't try anythin' that dangerous! ;)

Micky: Nah, I'd rather get better at it first. ;)

Mike: (Shakes his head as the others laugh; he picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, Honeywell? Tomorrow, 10PM, at the alleyway outside of the Atlantica Club. I'm gonna be Pete's partner. You'll have the others. Yeah, we'll contact you if anythin' changes before then. Bye. (Puts the phone down again) He heard from his contact. The contact will pick up Pete and I at 10PM, after our last number. You guys will follow with the CIS in their vehicles. Honeywell will give you your instructions there.

Micky: Got it.

Mike: Maybe we'd better get some shut-eye.

Peter: We can't sleep here!

Mike: I wonder if they have any avalible rooms we could sleep in?

Micky: *shrugs* Feels kinda homey to me. ;) *Lauren smacks his arm* ;)

Mike: Yeah, but if they wrecked our rooms, they know where we are...and how to get past security here. :p

Peter: Maybe we could all sleep in the same room tonight. It might be better if we stayed together.

Lauren: Good idea.

Davy: Our room ain't in quite as bad of shape. We could move enough stuff around that you could sleep wit' us.

Mike: Until we can figure out this whole Darwin mess, gang, stay together, in twos or threes or more. Every time we get separated during one of these missions, we get into trouble.

Peter: I agree. We work best when we're a group. :)

Mike: (Nods at what's left of the bedrooms) We'll go get our stuff, then go over to the other room and get some shut-eye.

Emma: We'll make our strategy over room service breakfast in the morning. ;)

Micky: Food and plans. I've always liked that combination. ;)

Davy: That's wot 'e does best! ;)

(The scene fades out as everyone laughs, even Micky. ;)