(We open in the Monkees' dressing room. It's about a half-hour before the concert. Mike is playing Black Beauty. Davy is doing his nails.)

*Alex is air-drumming on anything he can get his sticks on.*

Mike: (Alex tries air-drumming on his shoulder) Mick, cut that out! What's WITH you? You've been movin' all after noon! It ain't like you to be this nervous about a show!

Alex: I ain't nervous! I'm just warming up! Sheesh!

Mike: You're usually a million miles away right before a show!

Stagehand: (Pops head in) Half-hour, boys!

Mike: (Sighs) All right. Let's do some rehearsin'. (As Alex walks out, still air-drumming) Davy, does somethin' strike you as bein' wrong here?

Davy: *nods once* Yeah, even for 'im.

Mike: (Sniffs and groans) My wolf senses are still out of whack. I know SOMETHIN' happened to me last night that got my noise out of joint, but I can't remember for the life of me what.

Davy: Maybe you've got a cold comin' on.

Mike: A cold would effect my nose, but it wouldn't effect my memory...OR my ability to sense danger. I know there's somethin' bad here, but I can't put my finger on what it is.

Davy: Mm. Just trying to make light of the situation, is all, wotevah the situation may be.

Mike: (Smiles a little) I know, Dave, and I appreciate it. I'm just worried. I still say there's somethin' fishy about Micky's suddenly showing up when he did.

Davy: If it were anyone else, I'd say wot 'e told us is a load of bull, but since it IS 'im... (Sighs) Still, it seems a little too weird, even for 'im.

Mike: (Looks out and sees Alex on a phone out of the corner of his eye) I wonder what he's doin' out there? (Smirks) Must be callin' Lauren and makin' sure she and the girls are gonna show up.

Davy: *grins* 'E's alright. A little weird, make that a lot weird, but 'e's alright.

Mike: Good ol' Mick. (The camera ends on Alex on the phone out the door before fading out on him and fading in on the penthouse room. Daphne and Emma remain where they were at the end of the last part. Daphne is bound but not gagged. Emma is both, and struggling and growling fiercely. Two demons play cards at a table, but otherwise, they're alone.)

Emma: (Gets the gag off; growls) I can't BELIEVE this!

Daphne: I don't either, but for some reason, it doesn’t surprise me.

Emma: We'll ask Zelda questions as soon as we get out of this. The question is...how ARE we going to get out of this?

Daphne: Good question.

Emma: Let's save some time and make it the easy way. I don't think they messed with our minds THAT much. They were in such a hurry! (She concentrates. There's a dark blue light, and she's now untied) That's better. (Another dark blue light, and Daphne's free)

Daphne: Thank goodness for devils in a rush.

Demon 1: (His eyes widen) How you ladies do that? You ladies shouldn't do that!

Demon 2: We gotta get Milady Zelda!

Emma: (Grins) Yeah, why don't you get Milady Zelda? We'd like to talk to her.

Demon 1: Uh, you not fight?

Emma: Not yet. Not if Milady Zelda tells us what we want to know.

Daphne: Bring her in.

Demon 2: Uh, ok! (They go in the suite shared by Alex and Zelda, where Lauren is being kept. A none-too-happy Zelda is with them) Here she is!

Zelda: What the heck is going on?!

Emma: We could ask the same of you. What are Alex and Sheila doing at the concert? What was all that talk about removing multiple souls?

Zelda: Add two plus two. *rolls her eyes*

Emma: (Growls) Alex has been in the labs again. (Louder growl) And where is Micky? If Alex is at the concert, what did you do to Micky? Is he being held here, too?

Zelda: *shakes her head* I didn't do anything to him, and no, he isn't here. Alex took care of him.

Emma: (Snarls) I'll bet. WHERE IS HE?

Zelda: I don't know where he is.

Daphne: *folds her arms* Sure you don't.

Emma: Release Lauren and tell us where Micky is. Now. Before we get rough with you.

Zelda: I'm not releasing Lauren, and I told you, I don't know where Micky is.

Emma: Why don't we make her talk, Daphne?

Demon 1: I can talk just fine!

Emma: Not you, ugly.

Zelda: I can't talk about what I don't know.

Daphne: Let's make her. And I've got the perfect idea of how to do it.

Emma: (Moves to the side) Be my guest, dear Huntress.

Daphne: Now, don't worry, Zelda, this won't hurt at all.

Zelda: What're you doing? *Backs up as Daphne nears her. Daphne blue-lights Zelda before she can defend herself in any way. When the light clears, Zelda's tied to a chair, her feet bare, on an ottoman. Daphne now holds a feather.*

Emma: (Concentrates; her field hockey stick appears in a black light. She hefts it over her shoulder) Now, why do you think we'd want to hurt you? (Grins; she knows what Daphne has in mind) Go to it, Huntress! I'll keep the Unattractive Club at bay. (Indicates the demons)

Demon 1: Hey, what you do Milady Zelda?

Demon 2: How you make her talk with feather?

Daphne: Like this! *starts to tickle Zelda's bare feet with the feather*

*Zelda starts laughing like crazy, her face flushing quickly.*

Demon 1: Huh? What you do to Milady?

Emma: (Has to suppress a snort herself) Ok clone, talk! We want to know where Micky is.

Zelda: *between guffaws* He's...he's..at the..at the..the zoo!

Emma: Why is he at the zoo? Is he ok? What did Alex and Sheila do to him?

Demon 1: What so funny?

Demon 2: Why she laugh a lot? What's the joke?

Zelda: *between guffaws* He's..he's in...in the...the polar..polar bear pen!

Daphne: *stops tickling* Excuse me?

Emma: So Alex wasn't lying...entirely? What's he doing there, other than getting together with long-lost relatives?

Zelda: *trying to catch her breath* We turned him...into a bear cub. Alex want him...out of the way...to get to the souls..at the concert.

Emma: Because Micky's into machinery and would easily figure out what he was up to.

*Daphne slaps her forehead.*

Zelda: *finally catching her breath* That's right.

Emma: (Narrows her eyes) Micky's not the only one who would figure it out. I'll bet you confused Mike's wolf senses last night. I felt SOMETHING strange. I felt listless and really tired for a few minutes. He hasn't been able to sense or smell anything since he sniffed at you last night. He was getting too close, wasn't he?

Zelda: *sighs* Yes. I had to do something. Messing with him that way was the easiest to do.

Emma: You are going to take us to the zoo, Zelda, and you are going to release Lauren.

Zelda: And if I don't?

*Daphne holds up the feather again.*

Zelda: *eyes widen* Alright, I'll do it!

Demon 1: Milady Zelda, you want us to whack 'em?

Demon 2: We good at it!

Emma: Forget it. We don't have the time to play with you idiots. (She concentrates. There's a dark blue light around the demons. When it subsides, they are now fat brown kittens.)

Kitten 1: Hey, when did I shrink? (His eyes widen in horror) I shrunk! Milady Zelda, I shrunk!

Kitten 2: And Master Alex isn't here!

Daphne: Hey, they're finally cute! Kind of... ;)

Kitten 1: I want some tuna!

Zelda: *groans* Would you guys shut up?

Emma: (Goes into the bedroom; comes out with two leashes and collars. She puts the leashes and collars on the kittens and ties the leashes to the leg of a heavy wooden chair) That should hold them for a while. (Turns to Zelda) Ok, you're going to free and dress Lauren, and then you're going to take us to Mick. (To Daphne) Call the Abbies. Ask them to stall the concert until we arrive with the real Mick.

Daphne: Got it! *goes to the phone*

Zelda: *sighs* Alright, fine, I'll do it. Just let me up.

Emma: No tricks?

Zelda: And take my chances at being tickled out of my mind again? Definitely no tricks.

Emma: Fine, but remember, I have this. (She indicates the field hockey stick. There's a dark blue light, and Zelda is free again.)

Zelda: Thank you. Alright... *points at a closed door* Lauren's in there.

Emma: (Nods) We saw a bit of her before Sheila and Alex trussed us up like a couple of Thanksgiving Turkeys. (She turns and heads for Alex and Zelda's room)

*Zelda takes the opportunity and tackles Emma from behind. She then black-lights herself out of the room.*

Emma: What in the... (she sees the black light and the empty space) Damn it! (She goes to her best friend) Lauren, are you there? (She concentrates; Lauren now lays in bed, clothed and free but still short-haired and a bit vacant) Lauren? Honey, are you ok?

Lauren: Huh?

Emma: Lauren, long story short, Alex had you in here...and I think Sheila finished the job. Zelda, your clone, just took off. We're going to go to the zoo momentarily to make sure she doesn't take off with your husband.

Lauren: Oh-kaaay...

Emma: (Helps Lauren off the bed) Can you stand? We're going to need your help.

Lauren: *goofy smile* I like to stand.

Emma: Great, you're worthless. (She helps Lauren to her feet) Feel better?

Lauren: Nooo...am I on my feet?

Emma: Yes. (Grabs her hand, takes her field hockey stick with the other hand, and pulls her over to Daphne) Did you alert the Abbies?

Daphne: They're current in stalling mode. *frowns at Lauren* I take it she's not okay.

Emma: No. Sheila must have been trying to make her into one of her vacant slaves and didn't finish the job. (Growls) When I get my hands on that devil, I'm going to dent her head so badly, her hair will never part right again!

Daphne: Oh boy.

Emma: Zelda escaped, and she probably went to the zoo to get Mick. We'll take the blue-light way. Lauren's in no condition for limos or public transportation, and we're running short on time.

Daphne: Works for me.

(There's a dark blue light. When it subsides, we're at the polar bear pit again. There's a dark figure leaning over the pit...)

Emma: (Points at the pit) There she is! Stop her! (She and Daphne rush toward Zelda)

Zookeeper 1: (He's coming to feed the polar bears) Hey, what're you doin', lady? You ain't supposed to feed the bears!

Zelda: I ain't feeding 'em! I'm trying to get one of them! :P

Zookeeper 1: Get outta there, before I call security!

Emma: Zelda, don't you dare!

Zelda: Try and stop me!

Daphne: Get her!

*Meanwhile, Lauren leans against the railing, completely spaced out.*

("Randy Scouse Git" begins as Zelda, Emma, Daphne, and the Zookeeper all jump in the pit at once!)

*One little polar bear watches the commotion. He sees all four coming at him and takes off running!*

(Emma chases after Zelda. Daphne chases the little polar bear. The mama polar bear chases Daphne - she doesn't like humans messing with her cubs! The zookeeper chases after the mama bear. The other cubs just chase after everyone. They think it's a game.)

*The little one ends up climbing a tree. He watches the people trying to get to him and almost appears to be laughing!*

(Mama Polar Bear stops under the tree first. Come down from there, Junior! You'll get hurt!)

*The little polar bear sticks his tongue out. You're not my real mom!*

(Emma stops next. She tries to reach for the cub, but she can't climb trees, especially fake ones! One growl from Mama Polar Bear and a cry from the Zookeeper send her on her way again.)

(The other cubs all stop under the tree. They want to learn how to climb that high, too!)

(Papa Polar Bear is curled up in a corner, snoring and not paying attention to the ruckus.)

*The little polar bear climbs down the other side. He scampers around the tree and spots Lauren leaning against the railing. He runs over and nudges her foot with his nose.*

(The zookeeper dives for him, but Emma knocks his feet out from under him with her field hockey stick. The other cubs nudge him while he's on his back. They smell fish!)

*Lauren, still dazed, leans over and pats the bear's head...then she thumps herself on the ground, holding her head.*

(Emma knocks Zelda's feet out from under her and tackles her. Emma lands on top and holds her to the icy ground. Daphne and Mama Polar Bear run over to the little cub and Lauren as the song ends.)

(Mama tries to pull the little cub away. No playing with humans!)

*The little cub shakes his head, then climbs into Lauren's lap and nuzzles her.*

Daphne: *puffing as the song ends* I'm so out of shape.

Emma: (Looks up from Zelda) Daphne, make sure that cub stays with Lauren! He's Micky! I'm sure of it!

Daphne: Pretty obvious, don'tcha think?

(Mama Polar Bear frowns. That human shouldn't be petting her son!)

Zookeeper: (Gets to his feet) Ladies, I'm sorry, but you really have to go now, or I am going to have to call secur... (A cub nuzzles him) I'll feed you in a minute, Quinn!

Lauren: *goofy grin* Hi fella...you're cute...

Emma: Lauren, let him lick you! (Holds Zelda as firmly as she can) Daphne, help me with her!

Daphne: *grabs a hold of Zelda as well* No problem!

(Mama Polar Bear nudges the cub. Come on, Junior, back into the nice pit for lunch!)

*The little bear sticks his tongue out again, then gets up on his hind legs and gives Lauren a great big lick!*

*There's a dark blue light and a faint thud. When it clears, Micky sits on the ground, his legs over Lauren's.*

Emma: (Laughs) All RIGHT!

Zookeeper: (Jaw drops) What in the HELL...

Micky: *looks around* Uh...what's going on?

(Mama Polar Bear frowns. Where's her cub? The other cubs gather around, too. Where's their friend?)

Lauren: *still a bit dazed, but there's recognition in her eyes* Mick... *they hug*

Emma: Awwwww!

Micky: *they separate* Would someone like to tell me what's going on? Why I have a craving for fish? *scratches his head, then looks at his fingernails* And why do I have bark under my fingernails?!

Zookeeper: You...you...they...you...

(The cubs and their mother nudge Micky.)

Micky: I like you guys, too.

Emma: This imitation Lauren and her dearly beloved Alex turned you into a polar bear and dumped you here.

Zookeeper: You...they....but...but....

Micky: *shakes his head* Oh man. *moves his legs off of Lauren's, then puts an arm around her* Lauren, babe? Are you okay?

Lauren: *goofy grin* Maybe...

Emma: Look at her, Mick! Look at her hair! Alex got to her! (Growls) And this not-Lauren got to Mike and confused his wolf senses and tried to hold US!

(Mama Polar Bear nudges Lauren. That short-furred human is an awfully strange mate...)

Zookeeper: But....but...

Micky: *stands, pulling Lauren up with him; keeps an arm around her* This isn't good.

*Lauren pets Mama Polar Bear.*

Emma: (Yanks Zelda up by the shoulder) Daphne, do something about the poor zookeeper. I don't think he really needs to see this...or remember it later. We don't have time for long-winded explanations.

Daphne: Right! *takes the Zookeeper out of the pit and out of sight*

Zelda: Another perfectly good plan down the drain.

(Mama Polar Bear nuzzles Lauren. If her boy wants a human for a mate, he could scarcely do better!)

*Lauren hugs Mama Polar Bear.*

(Mama Polar Bear leans into her. The cubs all gather around her, too. Is she a friend?)

Emma: Micky, there has to be something you can do to help her! We've gotta get to the concert!

Micky: *faint grin grows to a wide smile* Well, if you insist, Em... *takes Lauren in both arms and kisses her deeply, eventually dipping her; there’s a dark blue light around her.*

Emma: That's better.

Micky: *comes up for air* Babe? :)

Lauren: (When the light clears, her blue eyes are clear as day and her hair is long again) Thank you, Mick.

Emma: All RIGHT! (Grins as Daphne returns) Is the Zookeeper ok?

Daphne: Sleeping it off as we speak.

Emma: Good. (Heads over to the railing and pats Mama Polar Bear) Thank you for keeping an eye on our friend! You're all such good bears!

(Mama Polar Bear nods. She doesn't understand it, and she misses her cub, but she was glad she could help!)

Emma: Ok, guys, let's blue-light over to the concert, before another zookeeper spots us. Thank goodness the polar bears can't tell tales. I don't want to try to put THEM to sleep!

Micky: No argument here.

(There's a dark blue light as Papa Polar Bear ambles over. Papa scratches his head.)

Papa: (We switch over to some fairly crude live action/animation) What was that all about?

Mama: Abner, how many cubs do we have?

Papa: Uh, at last count, we had four, I think.

Mama: (Growls) ABNER! You louse! (She whacks him one) I TOLD you to stay away from that floozy black bear in the Forest Den Area!

Papa: Abigail, honest! I never... (He follows his mate to their lunch as we fade out)