(We open with Mike, Emma, Micky, Lauren, and Al walking into the dining room. Waiters bustle around the room, which is set somewhat like the breakfast, but with fancier tablecloths and centerpieces. Miss Gray, now in a skirt under her chef's jacket, can be seen bringing baskets of rolls out to the tables.)

Teenager: (She wears a long gypsy-like skirt and long-sleeved blouse; she's accompanied by a large woman in a simple suit) Hi there, Mrs. Nesmith!

Emma: (Smiles) Hello, Dee. (Nods at the girl) This is Dee Merriweather. She entered a seafood chowder and will be competing in the Soups and Side Dishes category.

Dee: It's nice to meet you! (She puts an arm around the woman) This is my mother, Louise. (Points out a large black man in a suit that's a size too small) That's my dad, Jeffrey.

Louise: It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Nesmith. (Grins) And is this your husband you talked so much about?

Emma: (As Mike blushes) Yes, this is my husband Michael. (Nods at Lauren) This is my best friend Lauren Dolenz (and at Micky) and her husband Micky.

Dee: (Grin widens) Hey, I think I remember you cats. You're the Monkees! I used to watch your specials!

Mike: (Nods) Yeah, we're the Monkees.

Dee: Where's your buddies, the blond guy and the short guy? (Makes a face) All my girlfriends were into the short guy, but I just couldn't dig him. I mean, his accent is cute n' all, but he looks like someone's little brother wandered onto the set. (Grins at Micky) You were always my favorite, man. You're really groovy on those drums, and you make me laugh. I like guys who make me laugh.

Emma: (Squeezes Mike's hand) Me too.

Louise: (Puts up a hand) I admit, I liked the short boy the best myself. I'm a sucker for accents. Louise's father's from South Africa and still sounds it.

Louise: (Turns her grin to Al) Hey, I think I know you, too. Didn't you write a cookbook?

Al: *Smiles* Yeah, I did.

Louise: I love how you seared your steak. My Jeffrey can't get enough.

Al: Thank you.

Man: (He joins them, a teenage boy a little younger than Dee next to him. He wears a decent suit. The kid wears a short-sleeved shirt, tie, and trousers and looks nervous.) Hey there, Mrs. Nesmith!

Emma: Hello, Mr. Bell. (Nods) This is my husband, Mike.

Man: (Leans over and shakes Mike's hand) Yeah, nice to meet you.

Boy: (Looks up at Micky and grins) Wow, I remember you guys! Aren't you the Monkees?

Mike: Yeah.

Micky: That would be us.

Boy: I still have some of your albums! I remember seeing your first special. It was groovy, man.

Man: (Grins) Kid's got decent taste in music. I didn't mind you guys, either. Better than some of the stuff he listens to. (Shakes Mike's hand) Name's Walter Keenan. Kid's name is Bobby.

Woman: (She comes up with another woman. They're both attractive and middle-aged in floaty pink and green gowns) Hi there! My name is Monica Llelwyn, and this is my best friend, Sue Ann.

Sue Ann: (Blushes) Uh, hi.

Monica: We're so excited to be here! (Turns to Al) I know you! You're one of the judges! I've read your cookbook! I love the part on the importance of steaming vegetables to catch all their flavor.

Sue Ann: Uh, yeah, I like it too.

Al: Thanks, ladies.

Bobby: (To Sue Ann) Hey lady, why don't you talk much?

Monica: Oh, she's just not much of a talker. Right, Sue Ann?

(She just nods, turning as red as the tablecloths.)

Emma: (Grins at Lauren) Why don't we see if we can get a table? (Turns to Mike and Micky) Would it be safe to send you boys after our drinks?

Bobby: I'll do it!

Walter: You're still too young, kid.

Bobby: Man...

Micky: We can get them.

Emma: Don't drink them before you come back. (Nods at the front door, where Officer Howlett and several other security guards stand) And don't get the cops mad. I don't think Officer Howlett's forgiven you for the roller skating incident this afternoon.

Bobby: You went roller skating in the hotel?

Dee: I'll bet that was interestin'.

Micky: It was kinda fun.

Emma: Yes, but they got into trouble for that.

Mike: That security officer ain't got no sense of humor. You bust one window...

Emma: You're lucky he didn't throw you in the brig again.

Mike: We'll be careful, ok Em? (He leans over and kisses her on the cheek) You and Lauren save us a table.

Emma: Well, all right...

Lauren: They have to behave themselves sooner or later, Em.

Emma: I just want an iced tea, ok honey?

Mike: Gotcha, darlin'. One iced tea. (Pulls a pad out of the pocket in the back of his pants) And the rest of you will have...

Lauren: Iced tea for me as well.

Mike: Gotcha. And neither of you like sugar in your tea.

Emma: (Makes a face) I'm a black tea drinker, thanks.

Lauren: Ditto. Very good.

Mike: (Turns to Micky and Al) And you boys?

Micky: The usual Rum and Coke.

Al: Mint julep for me.

Mike: Ok, then. Let's go, my good men. (The three men head over to the bar as Emma and Lauren look for a table. Mike shakes his head)

Mike: As nice as it'll be to make some important contacts...man, this party's gonna be dull.

Micky: No kidding.

Al: Perhaps it's all for the better, though.

Mike: (Nods) After last night, we're lucky the girls are still speakin' to us...not to mention that we're not in actual jail.

(They make their way to the small open bar on the other side of the room. It's quite busy, despite it's size. A large, burly middle-aged man with short-cropped curls and heavy sideburns rumbles up to them)

Bartender: What'll it be, boys?

Mike: Two iced teas, no sugar. Beer for me, whatever's good that's on tap. Mint Julep for the blond fellow (points to Al) and rum and Coke for the curly-haired guy (points to Micky). (The Bartender grunts and goes to get their drinks)

Mike: Talkative fellow, ain't he?

(The bartender returns with a tray of their drinks with another grunt.)

Mike: Thanks. That's the best beer you got?

Bartender: It's what's on tap. Don't yell at me. (He walks off)

Mike: Sensitive, too. (Scans the room; Micky takes the tray) Do you see where the girls are?

Micky: *As Mike and Al look around, he pulls something from his pocket and drips a liquid into Mike & Al's drinks* Nope, I don't.

Mike: (Shades his eyes; grins and points) There they are! Near the entrance to the kitchen.

(Emma waves to them. The trio of men make their way through the crowd to join them.)

Emma: Hi, guys. (Takes her iced tea) This looks good.

Lauren: And they made it back in one piece.

Mike: (Nods) Yeah. Just annoyed the bartender a little, but he didn't pull out claws or anythin'.

Micky: He didn't seem like the overly happy type, anyway.

Mike: (Sips his beer as someone comes to a podium that's set up in front of the room) Oh boy, speeches.

Man: Hello there to all the contestants of the 15 Annual Bake Off!

(Everyone applauds politely. Mike continues to sip his beer.)

Micky: Snooze...

Mike: (His eyes look like they're beginning to cloud over; a stupid grin appears on his face) You know, this is good beer. Better n' I thought. Shouldn't have annoyed the bartender. How's yours, guys?

Emma: Baby, are you ok?

Mike: Jus' great, darlin'. Fine. I'm good.

Al: *His eyes appear to be clouding over as well* Pretty gosh darn good. Better than mine.

Micky: Mine's good.

Emma: Guys, is there somethin' wrong?

Mike: Nothin's wrong, darlin'. (He suddenly lets out a huge belch that everyone in the room hears. Emma groans; Mike grins) Darn, that was a good one. Sorry, folks. Go on with what you were doin'. (He waves his hand, and the man continues his speech...but some people move AWAY from Mike...)

Emma: I am not here. (She tries to move under the table, but Lauren pulls her back up)

Lauren: If I can't disappear when Mick does this stuff, you can't when Mike does it.

Al: *Leans his chin in one palm, propped up with his elbow on the table* How much longer is this guy gonna drone on?

Emma: Why me?

Mike: I wanna get another beer.

Emma: You haven't finished the first one.

Mike: Maybe it'll be just as good. (Mike leans back in his chair)

Emma: Honey, be careful. You could get hurt that way.

Mike: And what, get run down by an angry waiter?

Micky: Only if you fall over first.

Man: And we'd like to congratulate all the people who made this possible. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Now, enjoy this wonderful dinner the staff of the hotel has graciously made for us.

Mike: (Cups his hands around his mouth and yells) About frikin' time!

Young Man: (A curly-haired college-age boy at another table pumps his fist) Yeah, man!

Emma: Oh, good grief.

*Micky covers his mouth with his glass.*

Emma: Mike, what's WITH you? You had ONE drink! If you start a fight...

Mike: I ain't gonna start a fight. Not around all these kids. they might beat the shit out of me.

Al: *Sighs* Man, I'm tired.

Emma: Could you reign it in and just eat dinner? This is supposed to be an important mix-and-mingle party!

Mike: I can mix. I can mingle. Hell, I can even do both at the same time! (Looks at Al) How come you're tired? I'm feelin' pretty good. I could go for a while.

Al: *Shrugs* How should I know?

Mike: (Frowns) I gotta go. (Looks at Micky) Wanna go with me?

Micky: *Shrugs* Okay.

Mike: Wanna go too, Al? You need to go?

Al: *Blinks, as if realizing* Yeah, I do, actually.

Emma: Are you two up to something?

Mike: Why would we be up to somethin’?

Emma: You're getting the same grin Micky gets when he's up to something.

Mike: (Looks at Micky) Are we up to somethin’?

Micky: Not that I know of.

Mike: See? Now darlin', I gotta go. (The three wander off. Mike ducks out the door, past the security guards...then turns to Micky and Al) Whew! That was close. (He grins his stupid grin) Got outta there. Weren't no fun.

Micky: No kidding.

Al: I'll be right back, guys... *Heads towards the restrooms.*

Micky: What ya got in mind, Mike?

Mike: Dunno. Just wanted to get outta there. No fun. Let's do somethin' fun.

Micky: Sure!

Mike: Maybe we could get some dinner.

Micky: Sounds good to me.

Al: *Returns, looking slightly relieved* What'd I miss?

Mike: We're gonna get some dinner.

Al: Okay.

Mike: (Stumbles in the door) Come on. (He passes by a waiter...and discreetly reaches up and grabs two clams casino. He slurps his clams) Let's see what you boys can do.

*Micky snitches some cocktail shrimp from a passing waiter.*

Mike: Not bad. How about you, Mr. Cook-With-A-Cookbook?

*A waiter goes by with drinks. He passes Al...and continues with one less drink. Al gives a slight grin, then sips the Martini he snitched.*

Mike: Very nice. (Sniffs) I want meat. I think someone's bringin' meat. (He walks as casually as he can over to a taller man carrying a large platter of steaks and lobsters. He doesn't notice when a hand reaches up and grabs a lobster. Cut to Mike running back over to the guys.)

Mike: Look what I... (frowns at the lobster) got. Aww, I wanted steak, not some ol' red bug!

Al: *Eyes the lobster* Man, who'd they have making the bugs? Least they could've done was stuffed them.

Mike: (Bites into the lobster...and spits it right out again) Yuck! This lobster is terrible! It's hard as a rock, like an egg shell or somethin'!

Al: *Rolls his eyes* You're not supposed to eat the shell, Mike.

Mike: (Stares at like he's never seen it before) Oh. (Hands it to Al) You eat it. I want meat.

Al: I don't want this! *Tosses it behind him*

(Mike goes back in, his nose twitching and sniffing like crazy. He sees a tray of steak at the back of the dining room, waiting for the waiter to take it to the diners.)

Mike: (Points to the steak) See that steak, guys?

Micky: Yeah, I see 'em...

Mike: We're gonna snitch those steaks. Walk this way. (Mike lurches forward.)

Micky: *Shrugs* He said "walk this way..." *follows Mike, copying his walk*

*Al shakes his head and just follows.*

(Mike gets on his hands and knees on the ground, still sniffing. His eyes are darting around, his nose poking under tables and people's legs.)

Mike: (Points to the table, which we only see from his perspective on the floor) Meat's...there! Right there! We've gotta get it down!

Micky: *stops next to Mike, also on his hands and knees* Okay, how?

*Al wanders back to the table and plunks down in his chair.*

Mike: (Sniffs) Maybe reach? Or use somethin' sharp? Or grab it with our teeth?

Micky: Your call. I'm just following.

Mike: (Frowns as his hands reach upwards) Ok, I'm going to grab the one on my left, and you get the one on your right. On my count, 'kay?

Micky: *Also reaches upwards* Right.

Mike: One... (we cut to the tray as Mike and Micky's hands reach upwards) two... (Mike's hand searches for the steaks. Micky's looks around the brim of the tray. Once, they actually find each other. Micky shakes Mike's hand, but Mike slaps it.) ...three! (They both reach for steaks at once...and two smaller hands finally reach out and slap them!)

Mike: Ow! (He and Micky shoot up at the same time...and the camera cuts over to reveal Emma, Lauren, and Al. The tray of steaks sits next to the their table)

Micky: Oh boy.

Emma: You know, if you were that hungry, you could have just waited for dinner.

Mike: We were, uh, lookin' for somethin'.

Emma: What?

Mike: Micky dropped his, uh....his candy bar.

Emma: Micky had a candy bar on him during a fancy party?

Mike: Yeah! That's right, ain't it, Mick? (Turns to Micky) We were lookin' for your candy bar.

Micky: Of course I had a candy bar!

Mike: (Sits down as Miss Gray brings them plates of vegetables and potatoes) Yeah, we were just lookin' for a candy bar!

Emma: Did you find it?

Mike: (Looks at Micky) Did we find it?

Micky: *Pulls a candy bar out from the inside of his jacket* Yup, we did!

Mike: (Whispers into Micky's ear) Where did you get that? I didn't see it before.

Micky: *Whispers* I had it in my pocket.

Mike: Oh. (He blushes as Miss Gray serves them their food and we fade out on the group, Emma giving Mike strange looks and Mike just looking embarrassed and a little ill.)