Ok, everyone ready for a good diner meal?

Mike: Yeah. I need my daily quota of grease.

Peter: (Makes a face) I'll just have a salad.

Micky: Starved.

Davy: Maybe I'll go with the salad, too.

Micky: Just don't use your fingers. ;)

No food fights, guys.

Or else. :P

(We open in a small diner. Actually, it's the same diner set the Monkees ate at in "Bandstand Boys" and "Road Trip," but there's a big old jukebox playing "Black Bottom" as the group load into the big curved booth in the back.)

(A waitress in a pink and white uniform, her black marcelined waves hidden under a hairnet, comes up to the group.)

Waitress: (Rather gravely voice) What'll be...(grins at the Beachcombers) oh hi, fellas. Glad to see you. Congradulations on gettin' third place in the Amateur Hour. That archer was pretty good, but I kinda liked you guys better than the yodeler. ;)

Jack: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mary. (Nods at the others) Mary, these are our friends. Treat them with the same courtesy and respect you treat us.

Mary: If I did that, I'd be throwing them out.

Reggie: You can't do that today, dear. (Waves the prize money) We have enough to treat everyone here and half our building to dinner!

Mary: (Grins) That's great! I've never taken orders from celebrities before.

Doc: (Puffs out his chest as far as it'll go, which isn't very far) It's about time someone recognized natural talent.

Mary: Doc, if you stick your gut out any further, you'll fall over into the jukebox and lose your prize money before you have the chance to enjoy it.

*Micky snickers. Davy grins.*

Mary: Ok, gang, let me take your order.

Reggie: Can I take your order outside around 7? We could go up to Mudholland Drive and...

Mary: Reggie, the last time we went up Muholland Drive together, I came back alone and had to hail a taxi.

Doc: (Laughs) Is that how he got the claw marks on his arm? He told us you two were attacked by a bear and split up to avoid bein' it's dinner!

Jack: (Rolls his eyes) That bear story was so phony...

Emma: (Begins) I'll have the burger, fries, and cherry cola, please.

Valerie: I'll have a chicken sandwich with chips and a vanilla soda.

Micky: I'll have the double cheese burger, fries, and onion rings with a Coke, please. :D

Lauren: *groans at Micky's order* I'll have the grilled cheese with fries and a Coke.

Doc: (Indicates Micky) I'll have what he's havin'.

Jack: (Groans) Another stomach! Doc eats us out of apartment and home!

Lauren: Tell me about it, Jack.

Micky: *grins at Doc* I knew there was something I liked about you!

Doc: They're jus' jealous 'cause they can't keep up with us professional eaters.

Micky: Darn right.

Davy: *shakes his head* I'll 'ave the chef salad with ranch dressing.

Peter: And I'll just have a plain chef's salad, no dressing.

Daphne: I'll have the chicken sandwich, fries, and a bowl of chowder, please.

Mary: (Nods at Daphne’s very large stomach) Pardon me for asking, but when are the buns comin' out of the oven?

Daphne: Soon, if I'm lucky.

Davy: Very soon, if you're luckier.

Mike: I'll just have the cheeseburger, fries, and cherry cola, please. My stomach ain't THAT big.

Jack: I'll have that, too.

Peter: (When Mary leaves) How did you meet Mary? She's nice!

Doc: We're regulars here.

Jack: When we can afford to be.

Peter: Where's Johnny?

Jack: I think he's still outside with Louise.

Doc: He sure was interested in that little filly.

Reggie: (Shakes his head) He never gets serious, though. Music is his life.

Peter: Wow, it's my life, too!

Emma: (Looks at Mike, though she speaks to the table) I doubt he'd have to give you guys up because he got serious with a girl. He can play with you and date her.

Micky: *nods* That does sound familiar.

(Mike harrumphs. :p)

Jack: We're hoping this will give us a real leg up on our careers. Up until now, we've only played in small-time nightclubs and tiny, independant radio stations. KMBR is a step up. It's not a hole in the wall, but it's not NBC, either.

Doc: Playin' on the amateur show was great! Some of those guys were actually pretty good! We're probably lucky we made third!

Mike: (Eyes widen) The amateur show...oh man... (Looks at Micky) Should we tell them?

Johnny: Tell us what? (He walks back in with Louise, ignoring snickering from Doc and Reggie as they're holding hands)

Micky: Maybe we should...

Mike: Guys, someone wants to fix the Amateur Show next week.

Reggie: It was broken?

Jack: He means "fix" as in "make it so one specific person wins, regardless of talent."

Johnny: (Eyes widen) But that's not fair!

Louise: I don't think it's even legal!

Peter: What if the person really has talent?

Jack: Who wanted it fixed?

Mike: A Mr. Fleagle. I guess he's the guy in charge of the show.

Louise: (Eyes widen) The SPONSOR wants to fix the show?

Emma: That's right! Didn't Ben Quigley mention a Fleagle's Records being the sponsor for the Amateur Hour?

Louise: They're the sponsors of the Amateur Hour, our "Top of the Charts" music show, and the nighttime drama "Sally Songbird, Girl Singer!"

Jack: Do you know whom Mr. Fleagle wants to weigh the show in favor of?

Mike: Only that it's a woman with big...um...(looks at Emma's chest)...who is very good-looking.

Johnny: How do you know?

Mike: We know.

Louise: Mr. Wilson would NEVER do a thing like that!

Micky: Not unless he had to, maybe.

Mike: Sounded like Fleagle was threatenin' to pull the plug on the Amateur Hour if we didn't vote for his chi...doll.

Louise: He wouldn't! The Amateur Hour is by far our most popular program!

Emma: People do weird things when they're in love, including things they shouldn't do.

Peter: Why don't we give her a chance? What if she's really good?

Mike: Would he be askin' them to fix the show if she was?

Micky: Kinda doubt it.

(Mary comes over with two trays filled with food. She goes over to Louise and Johnny to take their orders, as they're sitting in the booth in front of the big one. Everyone digs in.)

Doc: I haven't had a meal like this since the last time they threw vegetables at us at the old La Jolla Playhouse.

Reggie: (Chuckles) We were in rare form that night.

Jack: Yeah, we got at least a week's worth of food from that gig free.

Peter: (Between bites of sandwich) Well, what are we going to do about the Amateur Hour?

Valerie: Why don't we go to Fleagle's Records and see her for ourselves? We could say we're from the station.

Mike: You think she'd be just standin' around a record store with her sugar daddy?

Louise: (As she and Johnny turn back around - they're blushing a bit) Mr. Fleagle has his offices right above the flagship Fleagle's Records store on Main Street and Palm....(blushes even more)...and he's married. If he's really serious about this girl, she'd be more likely to be there than at his home. :">

Mike: Well, well, well...

Doc: (Between bites of his huge sandwich) I don't know much 'bout legal matters, but I believe that gives us some leverage.

Micky: I do believe I agree.

("Black Bottom" ends. Doc and Reggie go over to the machine with nickles and fuss over what song to listen to.)

Louise: I have to get back to the station, but you're all welcome to go on ahead.

Johnny: But, Louise, what about...

Louise: (Smiles) Don't worry. I'll see you at 9, ok? That's when I get my next break. :)

Johnny: (Sighs) Ok. :X

(Jack just shakes his head.)

Johnny: (As Doc and Reggie finally settle on "Mimi," performed by Maurice Chevalier) Hey, Louise, wanna dance?

Louise: Sure. Our food isn't here yet. (She takes the blushing Johnny's hand as the bouncy song begins. Emma pulls Mike out of his seat to join them, ignoring his protests.)

*Micky and Lauren shrug and get up.*

(Peter and Valerie join them as well, though both aren't the best dancers and occasionally trip over things.)

(Reggie grabs Mary as she comes out to clean tables, ignoring HER protests that she needs to get back to work.)

(Doc just shrugs and starts dancing on the counter, doing the closest thing he can to a Maurice Chevalier impression.)

*Daphne pushes Davy out of the booth, motioning for him to go dance, too.*

(Doc pulls Davy on the table and drapes a towel around him so he can be Jeanette MacDonald.)

*Davy goes along with it. *

(We end with everyone dancing in circles around the tables and jukebox, laughing and trying to catch their breath, as the song ends. Mary shakes her head.)

Mary: Hoo boy, that was fun!

Reggie: See? We're the only customers in here, anyway.

Doc: Better n' sneakin' into "42nd Street!"

Mary: Ok, gang, I really have to get back to tables now.

Louise: And we have to eat, so I can get back to the station.

Johnny: Why don't you guys get along to Fleagle's? I'll join you in a little while, and if I don't catch up with you there, I'll see you at home.

Doc: Gonna be THAT busy, huh? ;)

Louise: No!

Johnny: Yes!

Doc: Well, which is it?

(Both just blush again. :">)

Mike: Why don't we just be gettin' along here?

Jack: Leave them alone. They've only known each other a few hours.

Doc: Aw, you mean we ain't gonna be plannin' the weddin'?

(Johnny swipes at Doc, who jumps back. Louise ducks down in her seat.)

*Micky snickers.*

Emma: (Directs the group out) Why don't we go?

Mary: Yeah, before I have to put these two out?

Jack: Let's go, guys. (He's the last one out, as we fade out on the blushing pair eating sandwiches in the booth and Mary wiping tables.)

(Fade in on the group entering a large store. The store is filled with racks of records and sheet music, shelves of musical instruments, and a display with upright pianos, radios, and gramaphones in one corner. There's a few teenagers on one side, looking for the latest Russ Colombo record, and a youngish man stands behind the counter, organizing sheet music.)

Mike: Hey, pretty nice! :D

Peter: Look at all those instruments!

Micky: I LOVE this! :D

Reggie: Yeah, now we'll finally be able to afford to replace some of our instruments.

Davy: Great store!

Doc: My drums are held together with spit, glue, and old gum.

Mike: (Grins) How'd he borrow yours, Mick?

Micky: *ignores Mike* I'm impressed, man. My drums are the same way!

Doc: And they've made it to every place we've ever been in!

Jack: Almost. How did you manage to mistake the cases for those crates of beer?

Doc: Hey, we were happily drunk for months.

Jack: And percussion-section-less.

Mike: (Glares at Micky) Don't you EVER do that. You wanna get drunk, go to a bar.

Micky: Nah, wouldn't go that far.

Emma: (Goes up to the young man) Sir, is Mr. Fleagle here?

Young Man: (Shakes his head) No. Mr. Fleagle never comes down to the main stores unless it's time for their routine inspection. Besides, he has a lot of work to catch up on. He's been working with Madame Gertrude's singing students on the second floor. He thinks there's some he may recommend to Moonglow Records...

Mike: Or to KMBR?

Young Man: (Shrugs) I don't know exactly what he has in mind. I just know what I've heard.

Peter: (Sits a piano) This is really great!

Jack: You play?

Peter: Johnny isn't the only one dedicated to music!

Mike: Yeah. We're a band, too.

Jack: You played engagements?

Mike: (Chuckles) Yeah, a few. ;)

Peter: Let's play!

Young Man: (Gets from behind the counter) Hey, get away from there! Those are for display!

Micky: We ain't gonna hurt anything.

Doc: We're just tunin' them, boy. (Gets behind a drumset) Hey, this is nice! I feel like I'm with Paul Whiteman!

Reggie: Too normal. How about Phil Harris?

Doc: Hell, I'd play for a fellow southerner!

Mike: (Takes a guitar) Hey, not bad worksmanship. (Grins) Let's play.

Emma: Here. I always did like Fats Waller. (She hands the boys sheet music as, much to the chargrin of the store clerk, they begin a fairly fast "Ain't Misbehavin'.")

(The teenagers mob the store clerk before he can get to the guys, all asking for copies of various singles.)

(Emma is hidden behind a stack of records. She sways this way and that before getting her balance. The store clerk chases Micky and Doc past her, making her almost lose her balance, but she gains it again. Then two teenagers run past her, and she almost drops the records...but Valerie manages to catch the ones that fall. Both let out sighs of relief. #:-S)

*Lauren rummages her way through the records.*

(Mike plays his guitar for Emma, who sits in on a piano bench and sighs happily.)

*Daphne picks out records and hands them to Davy to carry.*

(Emma briefly dances onstage with Doc and Micky, doing some comic steps.)

(Doc puts a bunch of nuts from a bag in his pocket on a gramaphone and makes them go around and around.)

(The teenage girls all swoon over a picture of Rudy Vallee on one wall.)

*Micky grabs an extra gramaphone speaker and holds it up to his ear to listen to the music.*

(Mike goes past the Rudy Vallee picture. He hears whizzes and thumps. He turns around...and sees Doc and Reggie throwing darts at the picture.)

(A crashing, screeching noise, like someone doing a bad impression of an opera singer, ends the romp and the song. Everyone puts their hands on their ears.)

Mike: What was THAT?

Jack: Ok, who pulled the nails over the chalkboard?

Doc: You're plumb crazy if you think we did that, Jack!

Peter: They're killing someone up there!

Emma: Just our ears.

(The noise ends as arruptly as it began, then starts up again, now sounding something like an attempt at "Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life.")

Emma: Victor Herbert is rolling in his grave.

Mike: He'd be doin' the flamenco in his grave if he knew someone was torturin' his music like that.

Micky: *whines, still has his hands over his ears* I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! :P

(The torture finally ends, and we hear laughter and chuckles. Two people walk into the shop together. One is a sleek-looking older man in well-tailored but mis-matched suit and jacket. The other is a tall, busty brunette with a tight, marcellined hair-do and a tighter dress that shows off her...assets. Doc's jaw drops. Reggie rubs his eyes.)

Jack: (Mutters) If you two drool, I'll stuff you in the piano.

(The other two can only shake their heads in amazement.)

Man: I think that went well, don't you?

Woman: So, was I good?

Man: You were wonderful!

Woman: Good enough for a contract with Moonglow Records?

Man: (Eyes her) Good enough for a contract with Warner Brothers.

Woman: This is terrific! I can't wait to show all of Malibu Beach what I can do!

Man: (Just eyes her cleavage) You do that.

Woman: (Kisses him) I'll meet you here for tonight's lesson and dinner. (She waves over her shoulder, grinning, as she leaves)

Store Clerk: (Gets up to the man; he looks like he's been run over. His suit is torn, his hair is mussed, and he's dirty and grimy) Sir? Sir?

Man: What? Oh. (He takes cotton out of his ears) Yes, what is it? (Raises his eyebrows) What happened to you? You look terrible.

Store Clerk: New crooner records in. Teenagers mobbed me.

Man: Is that all?

Store Clerk: Sir, these people were playing the display instruments after I repeatedly told them not to! (Points to the boys on the display, who look everywhere BUT at themselves)

Man: Oh, is that all? They're just keeping them in tune for us. Instruments need to be in tune, you know.

Peter: (Beams as the others nod) That's right! :D

Man: Carry on. (He leaves, followed by the sputtering clerk)

Doc: So, that's Fleagle.

Mike: He was real distracted.

Jack: That's not surprising, given what his girlfriend looked like.

Doc: What is it about eccentric millionaires women find so attractive?

Jack: Money.

Emma: (Frowns) I feel sorry for her. She thinks she can sing. I'll bet she doesn't know about Fleagle's set-up with Wilson.

Mike: She musta damaged her hearin' with that air signal of a voice.

Peter: Fleagle only thinks she's pretty. He doesn't care about her voice.

Valerie: We have to do something. This isn't fair to anyone, least of all to KMBR or Fleagle's mistress. That voice should not be on the airwaves.

Reggie: But what can we do?

Mike: We've gotta talk to the rest of KMBR. They might have ideas.

Jack: Maybe we could put in our own entrant. Someone with REAL talent.

Mike: A woman vocalist.

Doc: We'll have to find her. (Grins) And I'm sure we'll enjoy doin' it.

Emma: Why don't we go back to KMBR and see what they know? They might know of some girl singers who would love to be on the show.

Peter: Yeah! We could get them to ask around! :D

Lauren: There's gotta be someone...

Jack: I agree.

Mike and Jack: (In Unison) Let's go! (They glare at each other; in unison again) I said it first!

(Emma sighs and pushes both of them out the door, followed by the others. 8-|)