Everyone ready to see a real radio show?

Mike: Sure.

Peter: Yeah!

Micky: You bet! :D

Davy: I'm ready, too.

(We open with everyone going upstairs and down a slightly grimy hallway.)

Mike: Ok, where did they say it was?

Peter: Maybe we could ask someone around here.

Emma: Maybe there's a janitor around here or something...

*A door on the left-hand side of the hall opens. The group sees a janitor's pail roll out across the hall. A tall man in blue overalls stumbles out of the room, reaching both arms out for the pail. The pail hits the wall, stopping and sloshing water all over the floor.*

Micky: Ask, and ye shall receive.

Mike: (Goes to the janitor) Hey, man, are you ok?

Janitor: *mops up the water; he moves in a kinda jittery manner* Yeah. The pail got away from me. I keep meaning to fix the wheels better than using my old gum wads as brakes.

Lauren: That's an interesting use for old gum.

Peter: You use gum, too?

(Mike rolls his eyes.)

*Micky slaps his forehead.*

Emma: We're looking for Radio Station KMBR, sir. We're interested in a job there.

Janitor: Oh, that's right here. *points at the door on the right side of the hall, just behind him*

Mike: Thank you, Mr...

Janitor: Stanley Spedowski, but you can call me Stanley, everybody does.

Mike: Sure, man. Nice to meet you.

(Peter hugs him.)

Valerie: Uh, honey, I'm sure Mr. Spedowski doesn't...

Stanley: *grins* Gee, that's nice! :)

Davy: I guess 'e does.

(Emma raises her eyebrows.)

Lauren: Oh-kay...

Stanley: *shrugs* I don't mind it. My family does a lot of hugging.

Peter: Wow, that's co..swell!

Mike: (Takes Peter's arm) Well, we'll be gettin' along now. Thanks, Stanley. You were a big help.

Stanley: Hey, anytime! You can usually find me around. I'm always here. *holds up the mop momentarily, then goes back to cleaning the floor*

Peter: He's so nice!

Mike: (Ushers everyone through the door) At least he helped us find the place.

(The group stands in a small reception area, which looks like the reception area of any normal office...except for the 30s Art-Deco trappings and furnature and the large "KMBR" logo that hangs right next to the receptionist's desk.)

Peter: (Peers over the receptionist's desk) Hello? Anyone home? (He goes around the desk, indicating a large switchboard and earphones) Hey, look at this! (Picks up the earphones and speaks into a speaker on one side) Hello? Testing, one two three..

Valerie: (Pulls him from behind the desk and puts the earphones back) Peter, stop that!

Peter: I just wanted to see how they work!

Mike: Hello? (Frowns) The receptionist must be out to lunch.

(A woman hurries through the door just as Mike says this. She wears a fairly loud and tight dress for 1933, very high heels, a hat with a huge flower on it, heavy make-up, and carries a bright clutch purse. She almost literally dives behind the desk and throws the earphones on, then turns to the group in front of the desk with a big, toothy smile.)

Woman: (Heavy, nasal Brooklyn accent) May I help you?

Mike: (Raises his eyebrows again) Um, yeah, we're here for jobs.

Woman: I don't know if we have anything avalable right now...

Micky: Could you check?

(Two women appear at that point. One woman is small, youngish, and has reddish-gold hair and wears a simple, sensible suit and heels. The other is taller, older, and is dressed more dramatically, including an elaborate hat and a fur stole. Peter makes a face at the fur.)

Small Woman: Miranda, I don't see why you can't...

Miranda: Louise, I've told you a thousand times, I'm an actress, not a judge of a bunch of idiots who don't know their Shakespeare from their Ben Hecht!

(The receptionist rolls her eyes.)

Receptionist: Still havin' problems gettin' a judge for the Amateur Hour, Louise?

(Peter's eyes widen.)

Louise: Miranda, it won't be any problem. You know about talent...

Miranda: And I also know the people I've seen on this show haven't any.

Peter: (Takes the young woman's arm) You...you...you're Louise!

Valerie: (Grabs her husband again) Peter!

Louise: Um, may I help you?

Miranda: They must be fans. It's so glad to see people here who recognize REAL talent. (She puts out a hand) I'm Miranda Kean, naturally.

Emma: (Shakes her hand; Miranda raises her eyebrows) Nice to meet you.

(Peter hugs her.)

Miranda: My, how...demonstrative...

*Micky snickers.*

Mike: Actually, Miss, we're lookin' for a job.

Louise: Do you know anything about talent?

Mike: (Looks at the others) Do we know anythin' 'bout talent, guys? ;)

Davy: You must be joking.

Micky: We've got talent coming out our ears!

Louise: I'll have to bring it up with Mr. Wilson, our head manager, but we need judges for our talent show who can do other things. Our last judges ran away to Mexico to get married.

Lauren: Being judges will work.

Mike: What "other things?"

Louise: EVERY other thing! Do any of you know how to write a radio show? Play musical instruments? Sing? Act? Make sound effects? This is a small radio station, and while we're not dirt-poor, we ARE in the midst of a depression, and we sometimes have a few small problems with staff.

(The receptionist snorts.)

Emma: I'm a writer. I could write some shows if you give me basic plotlines.

Micky: Did I hear the words "sound effects?"

Lauren: I could play percussion and do some writing...

Louise: Old Mr. Moony is a wonderful sound effects man, but he's 75 and despite what he says, he DOES get tired once in a while...

Micky: Then I'm your man!

Davy: I can sing and act.

Mike: I sing and play guitar and organ.

Peter: I can act a little and play piano, organ, harpischord, French horn, and guitar!

Micky: *grins* You name it, Pete can play it.

Louise: (Puts up her hand) Ok, ok! I get the point. Why don't you come in the control room and watch the show we're currently doing? (Looks at her watch) "The Bandit of El Dorado" is almost finished now. You can watch that, then talk to Mr. Wilson.

Mike: (Small grin) "The Bandit of El Dorado?"

Louise: One of our westerns, and one of our most popular shows. We've actually managed to do some children's premiums around this program.

(Louise leads them into a room filled with earphones and buttons, knobs, and dials. Two people stand around a huge microphone in the center of the room, holding papers with typing on them. The man wears a cowboy hat and mask. A middle-aged man with a mustache sits behind the controls, listening intently into earphones. Next to him is a youngish, serious-looking, plump man of medium height. His cheap suit sags on his round body, and his large blue eyes glow behind thick spectacles.)

(An elderly man sits behind a long table filled with records and various odd items, making horse noises and smacking two bowls together to simultate horses running.)

(A slightly younger woman in a soft floral print dress and old-fashioned big hat plays vaguely western-sounding songs on an organ on one side of the room.)

Mike: So this is radio.

Micky: Very nice.

Louise: Yes, this is a normal small-time radio station. We don't usually have an audience unless it's something important, like the Amateur show. As you can see, there's really no room for them. We also don't have fancy costumes, once again unless there's something special going on.

Man In Cowboy Hat: Don't worry, Tomahawk, we'll get run the Pruitt Gang out of town.

Tomahawk: And avenge father's murder, Bandit?

Man In Cowboy Hat: That remains to be seen. (Tomahawk - a tall, lanky young man with wavy dark brown hair and hazel eyes in a natty beige suit who definately doesn’t look Indian - flips over the page)

"Tomahawk" - (In a far deeper, more authorative voice) Will the Bandit and Tomahawk stop the Pruitt Gang from blowing up the mine shaft and find out who murdered the Bandit's father? We'll find out tomorrow on the next exciting adventure of "The Bandit of El Dorado!" But now, stay tuned for the Pearl Soap Suds Musical Hour, brought to you by Pearl Soap, the soap that keeps your hands as smooth as a pearl. This is KMBR Malibu Beach. (Points to the old man, who rings three small bells of three different sizes.)

Mike: Kinda figured he wasn't an Indian. :p

Mr. Wilson: (Finally turns to them) And what do we have here, Miss Lambert?

Louise: They're interested in being judges for the Malibu Beach Amateur Hour, sir, and helping with other things in the station.

Mr. Wilson: What other things?

Mike: (Shrugs) We'll do just about anything you throw at us.

Mr. Wilson: Do any of you have any experience in radio?

Mike: My buddies and I (indicates himself and the other Monkees) once appeared as guest announcers on a radio show in another market.

Mr. Wilson: Was that your only prior experience?

Valerie: We've traveled around, sir, appearing on various radio stations as a house band. We're the Eight Pearls Orchestra.

Mr. Wilson: Never heard of you.

Mike: (Makes a slight face) That ain't a surprise. We're mostly a radio and nightclub band.

Mr. Wilson: What are you interested in doing?

Mike: (Shrugs) Playin' music, but I'll act and write if necessary.

Emma: I'm mostly a singer, but I also write and act.

Louise: (Turns to Micky) You said something about sound effects...

Micky: Sound effects, singing, acting, playing instruments...

Mr. Wilson: Right now, we primarily need help with the Amateur Hour, but we'll probably have you on call for other things as needed. We're a small station, but we're growing as well as we can with the financial problems in the world. I have some new ideas that will set this town on it's ear! Radio is a reletively new medium, uncharted territory. It's a theater of the mind. (Grins and turns to Lauren and Daphne) Close your eyes and tell me what you thought the Bandit of El Dorado looked like.

Lauren: Well...

Daphne: *grins* Mike.

(Mike blushes a bit. Emma grins and takes his arm.)

Daphne: No, seriously, the Bandit seemed like a Texan.

Lauren: Must be the cowboy hat. ;)

Mr. Wilson: I was thinking he looked a bit like me. (Looks at Mike) Although he's fairly close, too.

Mike: Thanks, man.

Micky: For all I know, he could look like Davy...nah, he couldn't be that ugly. *moves away fromm Davy as he reaches for him*

Davy: C'mere mate!

Mr. Wilson: (Chuckles as everyone laughs and Mike gets between Davy and Micky) There's the magic of radio for you. The sets, the costumes...they can be as elaborate or as plain as you wish. You can see what you want to see. Radio is a new frontier, a reletively untested medium. It's only been around for about ten years commercially. With movies, Clark Gable sounds and looks like Clark Gable, Irene Dunne sounds and looks like Irene Dunne, and so on and so forth. In radio, the Bandit can look like anyone you chose.

Emma: (Nods as the organist plays the theme song for the Pearl Soap show) But in radio, you'll have a western, then a variety show, right?

Mr. Wilson: And we have an adaptation of "Robin Hood" planned for after this!

Louise: Why don't we use the Pearl Soap show as an audition and see what they can do?

Mike: Hey, that's a great idea!

Davy: That'd be wondaful!

Mr. Wilson: (Nods) I like that idea too, Miss Lambert. (Nods) Why don't all of you go out there and show us your stuff? If we like you, you're hired.

Micky: Great!

Mike: (Grins) Come on, guys! (Mike takes Peter aside in a room marked "Men's" as everyone else troops into the main room. The man in the cowboy hat now wears an ordinary fedora, and he and the skinny man are joined by Miranda and a fluffy-haired blonde in a tight dress.)

Man In Fedora: And we're going to go into a commercial...(puts his hand over the microphone as Mr. Moony plays a record) Hey, what's going on? Who are these guys?

Mr. Wilson: We're giving them an audition. If they pass, they'll be judges for the Amateur Hour and will help out with other shows occasionally.

Blonde: (High, sweet voice, though not nasal like the receptionist) What song are we doing?

Mike: (He and Peter hurry back in and quickly hand a song to the organist) Here you go, ma'am. (Whispers to Micky, Davy, and Emma) "Daddy's Song," guys.

Organist: (Nods) Thank you, son.

Miranda: I've never heard of that.

Mike: Friends of ours wrote it. We've performed it in nightclubs for a couple of years now.

Man In Fedora: And we're back, with the Pearl Soap Suds Musical Hour. We at KMBR love to introduce new and unknown talent. Here's a sample of the kind of great new music you'll hear tomorrow tonight on "The Malibu Beach Amateur Hour."

Mike: (Goes tentatively to the microphone) Yeah, I'd like to introduce the Eight Pearls Orchestra. We're back in town for a couple of weeks. Been travelin' since 1929, and we thought it was time for a break. My friends and lovely wife and I are gonna let ya hear what we've been workin' on since then. (Turns to the others) Ok, guys, hit it!

(The group launches into "Daddy's Song." The blonde takes a clarinet and joins in. Emma dances briefly with Davy, then with the two radio actors.)

*Micky makes well-placed instrument-tinged sound effects while playing.*

(Davy takes Daphne and dances as well as he can with her in her condition, pulling off a few tap moves. Mr. Moony makes "tap" sounds with tap shoes on a board.)

(Mike and Peter do a little "act" of their own as Peter does his own scatted lyrics over Mike's solo. Mike glares at him, and he'll quiet down for a few seconds before starting back up again. Mike scats over HIM, and they sing together.)

(Peter joins the older woman at the organ and they do a short organ duet.)

(Brief cut to the receptionist moving along with the music, a big smile on her face, as she takes calls.)

*Micky harmonizes with Mike.* :)

(Mike leans together with Micky. Emma gets between them, putting her arms around them and smiling.)

(Mike grins as Micky makes his way over to Mr. Moony, who is having a hard time keeping up with the sound effects for a short comedy number involving Peter trying to tune his guitar while being constantly distracted.)

*Micky grins, helping out Mr. Moony. Together, the two make a complete array of sound effects*

(Mr. Wilson watches, amused, even moving along at one point. The engineer laughs at their antics.)

(Mike tries to get up to sing into the microphone crooner-style, but the microphone is suddenly yanked away from him. He looks around to see who did that.)

*Davy holds the microphone, doing his own crooning.*

(Mike and Davy fight over the microphone, but Emma grabs it, scolds them, and hands it to Micky.)

*And Micky does his own crooning, though not exactly what one would think crooning should sound like.*

(Emma raises her eyebrows and hands the microphone to Peter, who just plays his guitar for the crowd instead of trying to do any kind of crooning.)

(The song ends as Peter finishes his guitar solo. The man in the fedora ambles up to the microphone as if he was really in a western.)

Man In Fedora: And that was the Eight Pearls Orchestra, with their original tuner "Daddy's Song." (Tips his fedora) This is Mitchell Haddenfield, and you're listening to the Pearl Soap Suds Musical Hour, on KMBR. Stay tuned for the Sillymans of Spring Creek skit and more smooth Pearl sounds, followed by tonight's Fireside Theater story, "Robin Hood."

Mike: (Turns to the box as Mr. Moony puts on another record) Well, how did it go?

Mr. Wilson: You certainly have an interesting style.

Peter: Thank you!

Valerie: So, are we hired?

Mr. Wilson: (Nods) Yes, you're hired. You obviously have talent. You can improvise, tell jokes, play many instruments, act, dance, and sing, and do most of it fairly well. You'll certainly be our judges, and we'll call you to do shows as we need you.

Blonde: You guys are so much fun! You're great to watch! I almost envy the people at home who got to listen in! :D

Emma: Thank you, Mr. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson: You're welcome. I have some things for you to sign in my office. If you'll all just follow me...

(Mike takes Micky aside as they follow Mr. Wilson.)

Mike: Hey, what do you think, Mick? We're on radio!

Micky: I love it! I wanna know what we get to do next!

Mike: I hope that amateur show doesn't get out of hand. We've done these things before. You know what it can be like when a 100 groups of drunk young people are sitting in the same place and competein' for the same big prize.

Micky: I can't help but wonder if maybe the groups here won't be quite so drunk, or at least will be able to hide it better. I think it'll be fun, and we'll get to pick who we like and who we don't.

Mike: And Bennett. We've gotta find Bennett. That's why Pete's here. It'll make him feel so much better.

Micky: We'll find him.

Mike: I hope so. (Nods at the door the others went into) Come on. (They follow them into the office as the screen fades out.)